CHAPTER VI: SAVOY
Part 2: New Plan! (1545-1550)
All Dressed Up...
It is early 1545. High on our agenda has to be finishing off Switzerland and so getting a land connection to my
stolen liberated provinces. While we're at it we need to continue working towards being emperor.
The latter is going to be a little problematic. Palatinate and Milan are solidly on my side, but Mainz keeps telling me no while her eyes say yes. Or vice versa. Regardless I keep a diplomat busy topping off my relations there while I look around for
trouble opportunities to help my good buddy the Emperor.
In January Palatinate force-converts Baden to Catholicism, irritating the Protestant Emperor. Sorry son, can't help you there. What I can do is guarantee Switzerland however, so no one bothers them
until I'm ready.
Through the summer of 1545 St. Gallien and Zurich convert back to Catholicism as well, further isolating the boy king while lowering their RR dramatically. In fact, everything's going well until Wurtemburg destroys Baden entirely in September.
You may be next, pal.
No, no, I must stay on target as Mainz reminds me in November after they peace out with Switzerland by forcing them to annul their treaties. Palatinate continues to take advantage of the boy emperor's brilliant leadership by attacking and ultimately conquering Gelre. The boy declares himself a man at the tender age of 15 in February 1546. I congratulate him by sending a rag doll.
Still, Mainz seems to be favoring Saxony more often than not late, so I'm going to use the tried and true method of winning the electorate: Take hostages and create vassals! It's kinda like elections in a modern democracy except more honest.
...With Noone to Kill
My target: Trier, all OPM of it. To get there I need MA through Wurtemberg as well as Palatinate. Between Wurtemberg, Switzerland and Spain I'm losing 3 dip points per month from what we generate, but hopefully this is temporary.
Even better, I notice in September 1546 that Trier happens to be at war with the Emperor over religious differences. Good, that means they won't interfere.
The war ends in October, over a month before my troops are in position. As I ponder whether to wait for Saxony to get into another war, they ally with Trier. Well, I might as well go for it. And bring some friends, just in case...
It's not much of a war: I march into Trier before November is out. The Imperial army is still recovering from its last war and only musters 5,000 when it runs into Puritan Heretics in Koblenz and loses. In April 1547 Trier surrenders.
This is when I find out the mechanics have changed wildly since EU3. First, Trier only gets +50 when deciding whether or not to vote for me, and so they still favor Saxony. Further, every other elector now has a -50 penalty when deciding to vote for me because I'm more honest about my politics than most people. How's that fair?
Then, the icing on the cake: Palatinate decides they'd make a pretty good emperor, so they will no longer consider anyone else for the throne.
My God, I'm going to have to vassalize all you bastards!
First thing's first though. Stay on target. Stay on target. Breathe in.
'Your heir has fallen ill and dies.' Sorry, Vittorio. Breathe out.
'Mainz has insulted you.' Don't worry Mainz, I'll talk to you later. Breathe in.
'Palatinate has insulted you.' Grrrrr......
In June 1548, we declared war on Switzerland. Switzerland had only two allies: Papacy and Venice. Big deal. I don't even bother calling in my allies, nor do I bother with a screenshot. Move into Bern. Split my army into two to siege Waldstatte. Wait.
Notice that 30K Burgundians are coming down on Bern like the hammer of God.
F***!!
As you see we won the first battle, pretty handily. That's when I notice Burgundy has a SECOND 30K doomstack heading my way. Time to call my trusted allies to arms! Spain accepts. Palatinate accepts for reasons that make sense to them. Tuscany accepts because, hey, Burgundy's nowhere near them. Everyone else tells me to get stuffed. Crap!
Oh, and the Papal/Venetian fleets are out in force. They're blockading Nice, which I'm not too worried about. They also sink two of my four trade caravels. No!
Several tense months pass, with the Burgundian second army gathering strength on their border. It buys me time: Time to regroup my army in Waldstatte: Bern can wait. Time for the Spaniards to show up in force. They siege Bern and Burgundy moves doomstack # 2 to crush them. I know if I move my army into Bern to help, they'll just stop their movement so I play a bit of a dirty trick: Wait for the Burgundian stack to actually engage, then move my army in to save the day.
In November we fight possibly the biggest battle of this AAR.
It's a terrific (horrible) battle, and forces the second Burgundian doomstack to retire. Unfortunately stack # 1 is back in action, and now the AI decides to just merge them.
Fortunately this picture proves deceptive: DAYS after I take it, Breton and Spaniard reinforcements bring it up to 53K in Waldstatte. The Burgundians think about it, then move their army back to home territory to recover further.
It's now late winter 1549, and the Spanish AI has noticed that for whatever reason I'm in charge of the siege at Bern, therefore I can go ahead and take it on my own. Spanish and Breton armies start heading home. I made sure they hadn't peaced out: Nope, they were just going to let me fight my own battles. The nerve!
Waldstatte falls in January 1549, so I move everyone to Bern. A peasant revolt breaks out in Auvergne, but they're just going to have to wait, as here comes the doomstack and I'm not sure I can take them. I grit my teeth and wait for it, hoping the Spanish army will do SOMETHING, but they don't appear interested. We collide starting in April.
This was a feint though, and in fact the same dirty trick I pulled on them. Once I'd tied down the Burgundian army, the entire Spanish mass turned around and piled in. From April to November the two armies pound each other: It's obvious early on we're going to win, but Burgundy's 8K artillery proves hard to kill.
I ask Burgundy for peace in exchange for Waldstatte. They say no. So I chased most of their army into Franche-Comte and destroyed it.
On December 22, 1549, Burgundy surrendered. We took Waldstatte and 60 ducats, and immediately began coring all our Swiss provinces.
Aftermath
This frightened Palatinate enough to break our alliance. My heart bleeds.
In February 1550 we destroyed the peasant rebellion and moved our army to restore Auvergne (which had fallen to their treachery) to the fold.
As for where we go from here....I guess the first question is: Are we still here?
Johan's Dice
Reign: 10 years
Roll: 3
Needed: 3+
Continue?: Yes
Close. Too close. Fine, let's do this: