The HeAARt Of Germany - A Frankfurt AAR

ATBKING · Jun 29, 2013

Chapter XIXb: The Return Of A Legend Pt.2

Carolus: I am going to kill you. I am going to KILL you.
Fallon: Come on now. It cant be real urine. You could tell if it was.
Gukpa: Hahahaha!!! He is right. Thats not my urine.
Gnorf: I'm more interested in how you know what urine taste like...
Fallon: uh..... Ich kann kein Deutsch sprechen.
Gnorf: egentligen?
Fallon: Jag talar inte Svenska antingen...
Wiliart: You a nasty one. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?
Fallon: Ik spreek geen Nederlands....
Carolus: Shut Up Fallon.
Fallon: Ok.
Gukpa: Wow, so who is this guy?
Wiliart: Oh, My name is Wiliart. Im the Admiral.
Gukpa: We have a navy?
Carolus: A pretty nice one too.
Gukpa: Nice. Not even Austria has a navy yet.
Gnorf: Back to the subject at hand. Austria has held you captive this whole time? We need to do something about that.
Carolus: Yea. I say we declare war on them, this instant.
Gukpa: I wouldnt do that. That is a VERY bad idea.
Wiliart: Why.
Gukpa: Look at this.

Gnorf: Oh My.....
Fallon: An army that powerful could destroy Europe...
Gukpa: It is one of the most powerful armies the world has ever seen. Its almost on Par with The old Roman Empire or the Persian Empire. There isnt a force alive to match it...
Gnorf: Then what do we do.
Carolus: Nothing. There is nothing we can do. We just have to go about our business.
Gnorf: Well, at least this is more then enough reason to break our Alliance with Austria.
Fallon: Yes. They own Southern Rhineland. We should work to own the north.
Gukpa: Very Smart. But what should our next move be.
Wiliart: How about the Pope. We dont need him. We're Calvinists anyway...

Fallon: And Our next move.
Gukpa. Thats simple. We need to take Jutland, work our way through so that we can have undisputed claims on the entrance to the Baltic.
Gnorf: You mean Kattegat? That seems like a plan. Ill send Denmark Our request for war.

End of Chapter XIX

Wiliart · Jun 29, 2013

It's good to be back! The Pope is just a piece of us.

ATBKING · Jul 7, 2013

Chapter XX: Wrong Side Of The War

Gnorf: The war against Trier has been started. Switzerland and its oh so many vassals and underlings have joined the fray.
Carolus: Well, that shall put a damper on alot of things.
Gukpa: how do our sides compare?

Fallon: They have us outnumber by nearly 30,000 troops. They have more infantry then our whole army combined...
Carolus: What about Bavaria and Bremen.
Gnorf: Bremen refuses to help and Bavaria is the only thing keeping them from marching through our land...
Wiliart: Things have taken a turn for the worst... What shall we do?
Gukpa: Our objective in this war is simple, we need to take control of Trier.
Fallon: then we should use the fact that they are all different nations against them.
Gukpa: Exactly.
Fallon: What shall I do?
Gukpa: You will come with me and attack Trier. Carolus will move to Franken and attempt to slow down the Swiss advance. It will be hard but it shouldnt take Fallon and I that long.
Carolus: Understood.
Gunther: What Shall I do?
Gukpa: We dont have an army for you yet, Gnorf will begin the preparations for another army.
Gnorf: Well, you need to hurry. I just received word that Schwaben and Oberpfalz have already fallen.

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Fallon: We finished Trier off. how fares the battles on the front line?
Gnorf: Horrible. Switzerland is allied with Scotland. Wiliart is attempting to keep their troops from making a landing to the north but too many have slipped through!! They have already taken the entire peninsula. Carolus went north to stop their advances.
Gukpa: How is Gunthers army coming along?
Gnorf: They should be done in another two or three months... I just recived word that Bamberg has fallen....

Fallon: So quickly...
Gukpa: No time to rest huh. Come Fallon, we must move quickly...
Gnorf: Somehow 10,000 Swiss Troops have Nassau under siege.
Gukpa: Then I know where we shall start.

Gnorf: Good, we have managed to retake Franken. With that, we should regain alot of momentum.
Gunther: But unfortunately, some Swiss and Savoyard troops have slipped through the cracks. Both Wurzburg and Mainz are under attack.
Gnorf: Not a single army in range to help out...
Gunther: Wait, what about Trier. Call them into the war. They may only be about 7,000 men, but thats better then nothing right?
Gnorf: You are right. We need all the help we can get. Carolus is busy in the north, Your army wont be done till December and Fallon and Gukpa are busy retaking our lost land in Bavaria...

Gnorf: Gunther. Its time for you to move out. Your army isnt finished but thers no choice right now. Your last 2000 troops shall rendezvous with you in Wurzburg.
Gunther: Then I shall take my leave.

Gnorf: .... There is no choice... our manpower is nearly depleted. The Swiss show no signs of slowing down. I must end this war. Even if it shows weakness on our side...

Gukpa: Are you Crazy. Or are you just Stupid?
Fallon: Calm down Gukpa.
Gukpa: We had that war won!!! We had finally pushed Switzerland back to their own borders.
Carolus: But at what cost... We exhausted every resource we could just to hold them back. There wasnt much left for us to do!
Wiliart: I agree with Gnorf. You did the right thing. Going deeper into Swiss territory would have been suicide.
Gukpa: to hell with that. Who is next on our list? I need a war now.
Fallon: but we just got out of a losing war.
Gukpa: We didnt lose. We TIED.
Carolus: Either way, we should wait for another war.
Gnorf: We wouldnt have to. The only enemy we have at the moment is Saxony.
Gukpa: That is good enough for me.

End of Chapter XX

ATBKING · Jul 7, 2013

New Character Needed for my AAR. Any Takers?

Dauth · Jul 7, 2013

If no one else jumps on it feel free to use me. Happy to be thrown in as a Librarian of some sort since I've done so much to the wiki. PM me if you'd like me to throw other ideas at you without giving it all away.

Rendap · Jul 7, 2013

Am in if you need me...

Webstantine · Jul 7, 2013

Pick me!

ATBKING · Jul 7, 2013

three willing subjects.... all of you will do JUST fine!!

TheChalk · Jul 8, 2013

I claim next free slot!

ATBKING · Jul 10, 2013

Chapter XXI: A Woman's Charm

Gnorf: Why did you demand Erz in the peace deal? We didnt need that province?
Gukpa: Because I wanted to.
Carolus: Gukpa stop. I know your upset and all, but that doesnt mean you need to go around taking land we dont need...
Gukpa: Do I look as if I'm bothered?
Gnorf: Oh well. It's too late now.
Gukpa: Its not as if we need space for an unlawful province...
Gnorf: Actually....

Gnorf: It seems that we do need it.
Fallon: Oh damn. What do we do?
Carolus: We give it back?
Gukpa: NO!! Trier can wait!!
Carolus: The hell it can!!
Gnorf: Hmm?
Wiliart: Whats wrong Gnorf?
Gnorf: It seems that Bamberg has ceased to be Bavarian and switched to be more like us.
Fallon: Really? Thats something.

Carolus: Well, we did take that City a long time ago.
Gukpa: Yup. That was My 2nd conquest. Ah, I remember it like it was yester-century...
Fallon: I forgot that your Immortal.
Gukpa: *We're*
Wiliart: We're?
Gukpa: Remember that wonderful drink I brought you guys?
Gnorf: You mean you piss...
Gukpa: HAHAHAHA!! Yes! Thats the stuff. It really was Immortality Water.
Wiliart: So wait.... We never age?
Gukpa: Nope.
Fallon: Imma be a stud for the rest of my Life!!
Carolus: Well that's awesome.
Voice: Wow, that sounds amazing. To live forever.

All of them turn to see a very well dressed woman standing in the doorway.

Fallon: Oh my...
Wiliart: Helloooo. Would you like to go on a nice trip through the Mediterranean With the Admiral of The Magnificent Frankfurt Fleet?
Woman: I think I vill pass... I like my feet on the Ground.
Carolus: Ah, Vivienne. Its been ages.
Gnorf: Vivienne?
Carolus: Yes. She is the leader of our Schooling Systems.
Gukpa: The Military ones?
Vivienne: No, the intellectual ones.
Wiliart: I can tell by your accent. Your French.
Vivienne: And I can tell by the vay you look that you are Dutch.
Wiliart: Very good eye's.
Vivienne: I hate the Dutch...
Wiliart: oh... I'm gonna go pick up my pride in the corner over there....
Fallon: HAHAHAHA!!!
Carolus: Well, what brings you here?

Gnorf: Whats That?
Vivienne: Its a map of our nations technology compared to the others.
Carolus: Amazing!!
Gnorf: Were not that far behind.
Gukpa: At least were smarter then the Swiss.
Vivienne: But not by much. The var put a damper on our studies, as they burned the schools in Munich and Franken. The only school that vent undamaged vas The new school in Lubeck.
Carolus: Those were our most prestigious ones. At least they didnt destroy the Military School in Nassau and Brandenburg.
Vivienne: But, the biggest Admiralty school in the area still belongs to the Polish.
Wiliart: ADMIRALTY SCHOOL!!! LETS GO GET IT!! NOW NOW NOW!!
Gukpa: Hmm... That actually seems like a good Idea.
Fallon: Well then, Shall we?
Gnorf: I will send Poland the word.

Wiliart: Its.... AMAZING!!
Vivienne: And you doubted me?
Carolus: Not for a second.
Fallon: With that, we could increase our fleet size, substantially!!
Wiliart: You my lady, are a God send. How can I ever thank you?
Vivienne: Draw me like one of your French girls.
Wiliart: What?
Carolus: I dont get it.
Fallon: You are definitely French.
Carolus: I definitely dont get it...
Gnorf: Well, while you figure it out, try to figure this one out.

Carolus: .............
Wiliart: ..............
Gukpa: ..............
Fallon: What the hell? Why didnt Austria get the crown...
Vivienne: You forget that Austria is the most hated nation in Europe.
Fallon: I did.
Gnorf: On top of that, Niederbayern has become the same as Bamberg.

Carolus: And it seems the Brittany's first Imperial Decree is to force us to give back Erz.
Gnorf: Take it.
Gukpa: Excuse me?
Fallon: Just give it back, its not as if we need it...
Gnorf: At least we can Integrate Trier now.

End of Chapter XXI

Wiliart · Jul 10, 2013

If only I had drawing skills, hahaha

Webstantine · Jul 10, 2013

I have nothing to draw anymore due to my new AAR not having drawings so if anyone needs my services I'll draw for them.

ATBKING · Jul 12, 2013

Chapter XXII: Into Space?

Polish Diplomat: I dont know what we have done to you, But is there any way you could leave us alone. And there were some very important papers in the University you liberated. We would like those back.
Vivienne: What was in these papers that you would like to have returned?
Polish Diplomat: None of your business you Harlot!! Now sit down like a good woman and keep your mouth shut.
Vivienne: Excuse Me?
Polish Diplomat: Maybe you didnt understand. Whore, Bimbo, Broad Need I go on?

The men in the room all stood up to deal with their rude guest. But Vivienne raised her hand to stop them.

Vivienne: It is ok, Gentlemen. I can handle this.
Polish Diplomat: I already said I wont speak to you, B*...

The word was not finished, as Vivienne hand gracefully knocked the diplomats lips to the floor. The men in the room began to move in for the kill, but again, Vivienne raised her hand to calm them down.

Vivienne: Gentlemen, behave. Now, Mr Diplomat. As of right now I am the only person, whore or not, that is willing to speak to you without killing you at the moment. So if you would be so kind, what papers are so important that you needed to come all the way here to almost get yourself killed?
Diplomat: They are our papers for our flying machine...
Vivienne:....... Excuse Me?
Diplomat: Our breakthrough war macine, capable of flying.
Vivienne: I think you misunderstood me. When a women says 'Excuse Me', its not that she didnt here what you said. She saying it so you can have a chance to change your answer and not get hurt.
Diplomat: But thats really what were after....
Vivienne: Kill him boys....
In Unison: With Pleasure!

Gnorf: Well, that didnt turn out well. Turns out the man we killed was related to the polish King. Nephew, I believe.
Carolus: So?
Gnorf: Poland Just declared war on us.
Fallon: Really?
Vivienne: There not very smart are they?
Wiliart: I guess now they will never into Sky...
Gukpa: Enough of the Jokes. Gunther your with me. Lets move out.
Fallon: Then I guess its me and Carolus this time.
Carolus: Lets go do some damage.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Gnorf: Good on you boys.
Vivienne: Welcome back gentlemen.
Wiliart: I can definitely look forward to coming home with you here waiting for me.
Vivienne: What makes you think I'm waiting for you.
Fallon: How bout ME? You waiting for Me?
Vivienne: Not in your dreams.
Carolus: What about nightmares, can you appear in my nightmares?
Vivienne: That I will make an exception for.

High Fives all around and the group began to laugh.

Gnorf: Well, now that your all here, I have an announcement to make.
Gukpa: What is it?
Gnorf: Im firing Carolus from his job as Administrator.
Carolus: What Why?
Wiliart: Probably because you suck at your job.
In unison: OOOOOOOOOOOOH!!
Carolus: Then what am I supposed to do?
Gnorf: I didnt say you had to leave, You can be a commander in the army just like Gukpa and Fallon.
Wiliart: Then have you already found his replacement?
Gnorf: Yes. and He's welsh.
Vivienne: Does he run like a welshmen?
Gnorf: I have no idea what that even means... whatever. Come in.
Voice: Hello there everyone. My name is Tudor Padrig.
Carolus: Do you have a nickname?
Tudor: I wouldnt call it a nickname, but when the English took over Wales, they forced integration and the english boys in my class began to call me Chalk. Most people from back home call me Chalk. Most of the ones I didnt kill that is.
Fallon: So can we call you chalk?
Chalk: At your own risk.
Vivienne: How fast can you run?
Chalk: Fastest person in my college. came fourth in a nationwide track sprint.

Vivienne chuckled.

Chalk: Run like a welshmen joke right?
Wiliart: What does that mean?
Carolus: Well, now that I'm on the outs, I'm going to do one last job and integrate Saxony.

Chalk: Marvelous, Then I shall work and reigning in the Bavarian.

End of Chapter XXII

Belgiumruler · Jul 12, 2013

noooooooooooooooooooo! Don't fire Carolus...

Webstantine · Jul 12, 2013

Yay! I'm mostly Welsh too, even if I'm represented here as a French woman.

TheChalk · Jul 12, 2013

I really like this new Chalk character. I wonder why, can't put my finger on it...

Sather · Jul 13, 2013

Can't be missing much for Germany now. Brunswick and Luneburg I believe?

ATBKING · Jul 14, 2013

@Sather: And Saxe-Lauenburg. Those are the only three.

@TheChalk: Hmm. I dont see any resemblance....

@Belgiumruler : I must. You have been ousted by a welshmen.

@Webstantine: You asked for it!!

Webstantine · Jul 14, 2013

Ha! I have no regrets, I got the best character!

Gnorf · Jul 14, 2013

Vivienne seems like an interesting woman. I'd like to get to know her better.

The HeAARt Of Germany - A Frankfurt AAR

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