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Divine Comedy: A mildly entertaining MoesiAAR

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CivandEUIII

CivandEUIII

A Frowny... Biscuit?
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Feb 17, 2011
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Hello, hello everyone!
For this AAR, I... er... have no idea what to write in the introduction! :rolleyes:
So, in short, this will be an attempt at a comedic narrative AAR using Moesia, and then proceeding to reconquer some stuff.
I will be using the Are You A God? mod, which adds options for immortality. There are three decisions for this: Born immortal (makes it hereditary), made immortal (standard immortality) and become a GOD OF WAR (yes, in all caps), which is what I will be doing.
This is only mildly cheating since it gives you a massive bonus in war, but on the flip side, I'll be converting to my own Cult, which should put the entire world at odds.
I'm running vanilla, no DLC whatsoever.
House Rules:
1. No cheating. Seriously. If I need to cheat, I'm pathetic.
2. I will end up with a massive heap of sons, and no idea what to do with them. QED, every family member will be married off.
3. I will be independent.
4. No use of God of War. Ever. It is always GOD OF WAR!!!! (eh, I'll let this one slide actually.)
Goals:
1. Lead the CULT of the GOD of WAR
2. Unite Greece and Bulgaria under my banners
3. Conquer Asia Minor
4. Conquer as much of Alexander's Empire as possible
5. Maybe some more conquests....

NOTE: I do not claim to be a good player. I'm not. I'm merely doing this for fun and (hopefully) your entertainment. Since I'm going to be playing as bloodthirsty as a god of war should, tactics are NOT recommended. :p
 
How are you going to call him? I'd say Ares for good measure
 
TomZGen said:
How are you going to call him? I'd say Ares for good measure
Click to expand...
Heh, Sadly, It'll be Andronikos as I don't know how to change the name of my ruler.
Minor Spoiler though: Ares is in this. A lot.
 
You could find his charid ingame and then change it in the save game.
 
cyrileom said:
You could find his charid ingame and then change it in the save game.
Click to expand...
Hmmm.... Maybe....
Avindian said:
A really interesting idea; I'm sold! :)
Click to expand...
Glad to have you along!
----
EPISODE I-I(1): The Deification Will Not be Televised (because we have no TV)
1066
Somewhere in Greece, there is a mountain.
It's been called Mount Olympus for ages, and all everyone else knows about it is the fact that supposedly the Greek Gods lived there.
But, hey, the past's the past's and all that...
"Can't we just drop it?" Hades looked rather uninterested at the events.
"Why? They're the ones that split up the religion." Zeus was slightly more interested, and, being king of the gods, mildly annoyed.
"Yeah. Why doesn't anyone believe in us anymore?" Said Deimos, who himself gave a pretty good example of why.
"The Romans? Jesus Christ?" Hermes had a look in his eyes. It was the one that tended to mean he could bore anyone to death.
"Oh, right, them. Well, should we tell them?" Said Phobos, who was so like his brother that the only distinguishing mark was the fact that he wasn't Deimos.
"Tell them what?" Hades was looking at a skull by now. You know, alas poor Yorick and all that.
"That they're mostly aspects of Zeus?"
"Oh shut it. Do you think they'll believe us?"
"How will we get the message across though?"
At this point, Ares stumbled in, drunk out of his mind.
"Man, Dionysos throws some *hic* wild parties."
Everyone slowly turned towards him.
"Ladies and Gentlegods, I think we have a plan..."
-----
Noba, 1066
There's also a duchy called Moesia.
For now.
Ares popped up outside. He had with him a Post-It-Scroll and a massive hangover, courtesy of some satyrs.
He read the letter.
Ares,
I can't believe it, you're drunk enough to just accept this.
You must somehow tell everyone that Zeus is still here.
I suggest you look at Greece's greatest achievement, the Macedonian Empire.
We could have given you the home territory but that'd be too easy.
I suggest you influence the local ruler in some way, possibly while invisible.
And please never get this drunk again. It's annoying to clean up the palace, what with having to hire so many minor deities to do the job.
-Zeus
Ares turned himself invisible because hey, why not?
He noticed an important-looking man sitting on a bench.
He walked over.


--------
(1): Why did the Romans have no zero again?
Note: this is just a little prologue, actual gameplay hasn't started yet.
 
Note to everyone: I haven't given up yet. I'm just waiting until tomorrow, when my holiday starts.
 
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