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I am a long time lurker on the AAR forum's, and although tempted before, have never taken the plunge myself, until now...
With my recent purchase of CK2 (a fortnight ago), i'm going to look to put an AAR together, my first AAR, and that frightens me!
So I will be using this to recount the (not so glorious) tale of my attempts to take the small Count of Léon on a journey to unite the peoples of Brittany, Wales, Scotland & Ireland under one ruler.
That will be the main objective anyhow.
Depending on how well this goes, I may look at bringing the whole of England under my rule as well, though as a newbie, and a pessimist, i'm not setting my sights too high too fast!
(infact it's probably more likely that i'll be asking where it's all gone wrong..)
I'm playing vanilla CK2, the only thing is I will be using the ruler designer DLC to create my own starting count, apart from that, no mods, no changes.
As for how the AAR will go itself, i'll be looking to create a humourous, laid back AAR, in order to distract from the epic facepalm that is no doubt coming my way! I'll be looking to update fairly regularly, as I can grab a couple hours playtime every evening usually, with no re-loads, no save editing (I couldn't even if I wanted too ) and no real idea of what's going to happen in the future (though I will likely have played a little ahead, for no other reason than to avoid starting an AAR and then being wiped out 5 years in, my personal best is Earl of Northampton and seeing the end game after roughly 3 months! ).
The fact this thread is even here bodes well for me!
Table Of Contents:
Erwan Berthou:
Born: 15 September 1048
Starting Traits: Naive Appeaser, Honest, Patient
Starting Title: Count of Léon.
So this is me Erwan, Erwan Berthou to be exact, I realise that will mean nothing to anyone at this particular point in time, but I guarantee that they will, God has put me here for a reason, to unite the Celtic people, and that is what I will attempt to do, and by the end of this all, I will be remembered as the moron who wanted too much!
I am lonely, have no children, and my name translates to 'Yew' - yes, I am a tree with poisonus red fruits and springy wood, this really fills me with confidence, my wood is faulty and my fruits are made to kill!
However, as a Count there is always hope, and my 1st Ambition is to get married!
With no decent spouses around I need to settle for whoever I can find (whoever will settle for faulty wood), and along comes Emisu, nobody has any idea where I found her, but I'm not picky, just give me someone who isn't barren!
And with that taken care of fairly easily (also sorting my problem of no Spymaster) my next ambition is to secure the succession, preferably with a son, however, with my faulty pipeworks, this may prove slightly more problematic!
It is also time to assign jobs to those in my council, as follows:
Chancellor - Fabricate Claims (Penthievre)
Marshal - Research Military Tech (Léon)
Steward - Collect Taxes (Léon) If I could send him to my neighbors and collect their taxes I would..
Spymaster - Study Technology (Granada)
Chaplain - Research Cultural Tech (Léon)
Okay, how my Chancellor plans to achieve this subtle task of paramount importance while running around spitting and assaulting whoever he see's is beyond my comprehension.
(C'mon, who even hired a possessed man as my Chancellor in the 1st place?!)
Budic's madness seems to have spread to the Count of Pethievre, I can only imagine his ramblings drove the Count mad, and as such he tries to declare independence just to get away!
(This war would end, after 2 months, in a stalemate)
My wife manages to discover a plot, fearing the worst I check in to it, only to discover Budic really is on a roll, and is now gunning for my Chaplains son!
Along with the revelation that Budic really is mad, it would also become apparent that I'm susceptible to mild dose's of man flu..
(These event's would pop up roughly once a year after this)
This did turn out to be reassuring news though..
As everyone knows only real men get man flu, and a real man will do what a man's got to do, and now up the duff is Emisu!
(Quite how I managed this with my springy wood and my spouse being in Granada I'll never know..)
(9 months of relative quiet followed)
With the succession now secure, I can focus on some real business!
(Like figuring out how my newborn son arrived at my court while my wife stayed in Granada)
The quiet life was not to last though..
Oh, not good, how could he do this to my wife? And after I bought him that lovely headpiece!
Now in all seriousness, that was probably coming, this however, I was not expecting!
Turns out Emisu had such a great desire within her to carry on, was life really that bad?
- Shipped off to Granada a day after the wedding.
- Impregnated (miraculously) with springy wood.
- Not given any maternity leave once Jéan was born.
From captured to dead in a month, I just cant understand why she would give up so easily!
Though finally my Chancellor was successful in his job, or more likely, it would appear Budic's mad ramblings worked in the end and everyone gave in to simply make him shut up!
I push the claim knowing that, finally, I can get some real work done!
(Although it would be a long time till the claim was actually used)
The Duke of Brittany manages to get in my bad books though, being completley honest, I feel hurt that he would take from my empty coffers.
He can throw all the feast's he wants, he's off the christmas list!
After a respectable mourning period for Emisu, I decide to get back into the game!
(This is a much more desireable marriage, now having the option of a few claims in Wales to go with the one on my neighbour!)
Nest may be pretty, but her cooking isn't..
Now, down to business, all the preperations are made and I push my claim on Penthievre on the 6 July 1072
(What preperations you ask? It's not a quick process stitching 250 tabards, especially with no wife to do the work!)
Now theres a story to tell, of a brave soul, who shone throughout the conflict, constantly outnumbered by bloodthirsty enemies, cutting them down in swathes, a true God of war, unstoppable by any until one sneaky rat hit him from behind!
(Because me being the honest soul I am, I wouldn't hide the fact that I ran into a tree 6 days into the war, turns out it's only my wood that isn't rock hard...)
The dispute threw up a few surprises, those things that no one ever really expects, like the fact my enemy is moaning my dungeon isn't accomodating enough?
I'm so sorry, I'll send the complimentary mints right down!
(For those of you wondering about Budic's wacky adventures, he's still trying to kill the Holy man's son.)
Then, finally, after (exactly) 4 years of back and forth fighting, the birth of two more children (André & Anné - it would appear my fruits aren't quite so poisonous then), and several more bouts of man flu, Penthievre is mine.
Now 10 years from becoming Count I can finally choose to move to Elective Succession, this would all have been futile if Gavelkind succession split my empire up when i die!
Can i call it an empire yet? I'm pretty sure i can, the voices inside my head agree with me!
(Okay, maybe i've been spending too much time with Budic...)
And as a result of arranging my offsprings betrothals to a Princess of France, a Duke's daughter and a Count's son, I can really push on from here, with claims on:
- County of Desmond (Inheritable)
- Duchy of Gwynedd (Not Inheritable)
- Duchy of Deheubarth (Inheritable)
- Kingdom of France (Not Inheritable)
There was a choice to be made, one of utmost importance, and that was who to elect as my successor, and the answer came when at council with my advisors. Where it became apparent that listening to the ramblings of a madman (Budic) can provide moments of true clarity, for it takes a true madman to be a genius, as no sane person would dare to think outside the norm. A plot was born in my mind, one that would not be easy to implement, and so my choice was made, André, my second born son, would be named successor, not Jéan, my eldest. This would upset many, and I would pray that Budic's mad ramblings would turn out to be more than the idiocies of a man possessed.
However, upon taking his advice, I would also take this opportunity to tell Budic (in no uncertain terms) that plotting to kill a Holy man's son was a step too far.
He was then sent to fabricate a claim on Vannes, a move that would prevent any more ill advised murderous plots, while also (hopefully) providing me with a strong enough reason to demand the title of Count of Vannes. Which would also place me in a powerful enough position to usurp the Duchy of Brittany.
Unfortunately, sending a rambling madman to undertake covert work was by no means effective!
Following the long conflict with the (ex) Count of Penthievre it was time for a shake up of my court. These advisors had served me well, but if my plans are to come to fruition, I will need more skillful men at my disposal.
Nicolas, Bishop of Paimpol was to be my new Chaplain - and sent to Research Cultural Tech.
Josselin, Mayor of St. Brieuc would become my new Marshal - and would be sent to raise troop levies in Léon.
It would appear that the conflict with the Count of Penthievre had also caught the attention of my liege, and whether in recognition of my (farcical) take over of the county, or as a move to placate any further ambitions i may have held, a messenger invited me to become the Chancellor of the Duchy of Brittany. This was, in my mind, confirmation that other were beginning to take me seriously, though I would not stop at this.
It was at this time I would also be petitioned by one of my courtiers to become my Chancellor. Although I harboured reservations over removing Budic, who had served me so well, regardless of his unconventional ways, I could not turn down the skills that this new advisor possessed.
He was sent to continue Budic's mission in Vannes.
Now, after 12 years of listening to Budic, and apologizing to foreign dignitories who had been insulted by his blasphemous ramblings, fathering four children, losing a wife to foul play, becoming Chancellor of Brittany and sustaining wounds in battle, you'd imagine I'd be running a little low on energy.
Think again.
Although I had lost none of my energy and vigour, after flirting with death (and monumental childminding bills), I had, however, become more fussy about what I would eat, to the point where even Duke Conan's cuisine was not above criticism.
I had a feeling I would not remain his Chancellor for long after that!
My steward (still raising taxes in Léon) would soon show his worth though, and reward my patience in his skills, showing that I was right not to replace him along with the majority of my advisors after the Penthievre conflict.
(these would pop up roughly once every other year for the rest of the update, around 10 years)
Starting to think whoever described my fruits as poisonous needs to be sent a dictionary, I am seriously considering Celibacy, (even with the increased taxes) I cant afford all these children!
Now, after four years of peace, on the 24th Aug 1080, I would make my move.
We would see if Budic's mad plan would bear fruition.
The pieces had been arranged.
My troops trained, levies increased, reinforcements boosted.
My coffers filled with reserves.
My successor had been chosen.
I would reveal the reason for my ambitious marriage to Nest.
Duke Cadwgan 'the Wicked' would feel the bitter end of a Breton sword.
However, even the best laid plans mean nothing when put into practice, as on the 7th Dec 1080, the first assault on the Welsh land would end catastrophically. My forces would land in the undefended province north of Powys, as Duke Cadwgan's men would sit, unaware, in Gwynedd. Almost a full thousand troops would be landed on Welsh soil, unthreatened, unphased. It would appear that a peaceful landing would make no difference when battle was joined, as the numerically forces of Léon would be defeated, and sent running back to Breton soil!
In fact, the opening stages of the conflict would not go my way at all, however, patience is a virtue, and I am patient.
My chancellor would bring the best news of the early days of the war (and that was only because it didn't actually relate to the war). Now that he had completed his task he would be sent the Léon to keep my vassals opinions high during the war with Gwynedd. Something that he would prove apt at doing.
Although my mind was preoccupied by the events transpiring overseas, I would still find unwelcome distractions at home too. This wench must be stupid, after 6 kids, I know what will happen if I give in! From now I shall be known as Erwan 'the Chaste'.
This war with Duke Cadwgan was not to be a quick one, as we moved towards the end of the year 1081, and the conflict was definitely not going in my favour, several amphibious landings had been repulsed, thousands of Breton soldiers had died on foreign soil and I slowly started to belive pushing my wifes claim was ill advised.
It would appear that bloodlust would also spread throughout the rest of the Breton lands, as the Count of Nantés would end up in conflict with Duke Conan 'the Cruel' after having his title demanded back.
(this would end with Duke Conan being severely defeated)
A year later, on the 14th Oct 1082, and the war would take a larger toll on my personal health, at least that is what my physician claimed, I personally blame the half dozen kids running around my residence!
This business in Wales would not be the only to stress me out, as I am hit with a major case of Dejá Vú! (Or maybe the Emir of Granada is really trying to insult me.)
I pay him a compliment by first sending my wife, and then one of my Mayors to spy (sorry, learn....) from his people, and he keeps locking them away. I would remember this.
Three years passed, and still the conflict with Duke Cadwgan continued, 20 Dec 1083, and my patience is wearing thin, I may be known for my patience, but it was being tested to the limit. Many assaults had been launched on the lands I now coveted more than ever, many thousands of Breton kinsmen had landed on this foreign soil, never to return, it was taking it's toll on everyone under my rule. My vassals were getting disgruntled with the long periods of time that I would command them to raise levies and fleets, the populace were beginning to resent the higher taxes being collected, and my wife was starting to believe I could not deliver on my promise of returning her to her rightful holdings. The war was nearly lost!
(The middle score shows Duke Conan's losing war with the Count of Nantes, and the third shows Duke Conan's allies war with a far away Emir - hopefully the Emir of Granada!)
And to top it off, here we go again, I've lost count of how many offspring I have running around now.
I'm starting to wonder if these kids are even mine!
Then, on the 6th Feb 1084, finally, some good news from Wales, it had only taken four and a half years, but we are finally getting somewhere.
(this would, however, spell the end of Budic, as after being replaced as Chancellor, he was sent to lead the ill fated initial Siege of Rhuddlan that had taken place a few months before.)
Sensing a potential turn in the tide of the war, I took a major decision on the 7th Dec 1084, when my patience had finally run out. All sense of patience and calmness left my soul, anger rose inside me at the sight of so many widows within my castle, sons who would never meet their fathers, enough was enough, I turned to a band of mercenaries to finish this stubborn, annoying, Duke. Placing my wife as Duchess of Gwynedd was an integral part of my plans, it would cost a great deal of gold, but I would not be denied!
It would take less than a year for the Breton Band to do what they were born to do, as news reached me on the 30th Aug 1085, that after 5 years, the conflict has finally swung in my favour, the armies of the Duchy of Gwynedd were all but crushed, the garrisons of the Welsh castles severely depleted and the populace wishing to simply see the end, they had enjoyed the upper hand for the majority of the war, but money would talk. With that news I would land a fresh set of levies in Gwynedd and take this war by the scruff of the neck!
However, it wouldn't be until 21st Apr 1087 that Duke Cadwgan would finally surrender, and allow Countess Nest to take her rightful place as Duchess of Gwynedd.
Budic may be dead, but my gratitude to him will last much longer than his life did. His mad ramblings turned out to be sound advice, something that makes me sound as insane as he was, for this would now ensure that my choice of successor would now see the Berthou holdings spread over seas.
It was during one of Budic's turns that he mumbled thoughts on who would inherit my holdings, and the Duchy of Gwynedd once it was returned to the hands of my wife, that it would not, as many expected, go to Jéan, my eldest, for he was of no relation to Nest, it would go to HER first son under the Gavelkind succession laws of Gwynedd, and now my newly elected heir, André.
Just another example that blood is thicker than water.
This would not be the end of the expansion of my family through the Celtic regions (hopefully!!)
Although I would not bring them under my personal rule, I now had my sights on seating Jéan's heir on the Duchy of Deheubarth, Anné's on the County of Desmond, and bringing Vannes under my holding.
20 years ago, I was unknown, maybe I still am, but I will ensure that the Berthou's become a household name.
(if not through my own personal feats, then by simply spawning enough kids to put a Berthou in every house!)
) and no real idea of what's going to happen in the future (though I will likely have played a little ahead, for no other reason than to avoid starting an AAR and then being wiped out 5 years in, my personal best is Earl of Northampton and seeing the end game after roughly 3 months! ).
