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The claim has to be inheritable (so in the current vanilla patch, either a man or a woman who held the title herself and lost it).

You need to marry them to a dynasty member, and have the children be of your dynasty (so matrilineal if they are a man).

They need to have children and die.

You need to play one of their children.

Easiest way with no female inheritable claims, is to play Elective law and play as women. Marry one man with a decent inheritable claim each generation, and nominate your best daughter to succeed you. Once you get that going you can take a kingdom each generation if you feel like it.

Edit: doing this does mean you need to put additional kingdoms under Elective law too. I found that quite fun with 5 or so, I imagine it might get frustrating with more though (each king title has a separate election).
 
wasnt it so that if the claim was pressed but the war ended in white peace it became inheritable? im trying to get my heir a claim on the duchy i fully own so i can usurp it, and the holder hasnt lost a war yet.
 
As I understand, yes, if declare war for her claim (you can't on agantic titles I think), then as soon as you declare war the claim will become inheritable. Surrendering will remove the claim outright, but a white peace will leave an inheritable claim.
 
ok, so i can marry a female claimant on duchy X, press her claim, and our children(or only the primary hier) will inherit it. is there a way to "move" the claim to your current ruler through assasinations like you can do with title holders(harry female title holder, produce child, kill wife n child, you now have that title)?
 
ok, so i can marry a female claimant on duchy X, press her claim, and our children(or only the primary hier) will inherit it. is there a way to "move" the claim to your current ruler through assasinations like you can do with title holders(harry female title holder, produce child, kill wife n child, you now have that title)?

As far as I know claims are only passed to children. If a claimholder dies heirless, the claim dies with them.
 
thinking of it, i could ofc:

get a claim within my dynasty, but that peron has NO heir.
its a "close" dynasty memeber(i.e. 3rd son or grandson)
i press the claim he/she becomes duke of X
i kill them, lands fall to me/another close memeber i need to kill