So, I've made a couple of threads asking for advice, and what someone somewhere has invariably pointed out is that some of the problems I face stem from having a Leader with crappy traits/stats. And I can't fault them - yea. I usually end up with a Leader who's a mixed bad of sins and saving graces, who's usually good with two stats and horrible with the rest. The wife is usually unhelpful stat-wise, but at the time was a good pick (claims and alliances).
But what I find happens is, using the Ruler Designer, you get a guy who's 50 years old, good at usually two things with an auto-generated wife and two kids, who're basically average. I tutor the older one and give the other to a vassal who's opinion I need to raise. The older son inherits and that's when the game really begins. Let's say he has four kids, the first two you tutor yourself, the other two you send off to earn you brownie points, and then.... your leader doesn't die.
Now, the benefits to tutoring your own heir are self-evident: while you're both alive, your heir loves you and makes for an ideal vassal. When you croak, your heir keeps his stuff and inherits your stuff, creating a domino chain where valuable titles are kept in the direct line of succession under relatively constant player management.
But when your heir has children (these boys being now second in line, third being this child's uncle, the heir's brother), do you (the grandfather) tutor them, or do you assign their father to tutor them? And when I'm tutoring a boy, I find that most if not all the prompts amount to choosing a sin or a virtue - occasionally you can beat the arbitrary stat out of them, or encourage or discourage ambition, but other than that, I am dumbfounded as to how to cultivate Intrigue or Learning.
It seems that a 7 Virtue Allstar would have really terrible Intrigue, Learning, and Martial skills (but a high Steward and Diplomacy).
So, my question is: what do you guys think "good stats" are, and how would you the player go about cultivating those stats in an heir?