Things I have learned while playing EU3

[maxirage]

It's a little known fact that the POOREST countries in the world were the ones who created the greatest painting master-pieces. That is because richer countries could afford to weave tapestries or run jousting tournaments instead, and found paintings to be inferior in comparison.

The colonization of North America wasn't dominated by navel powers such as England, but by Portugal, who rose to be the most expansive colonial empire to ever exist. That is due to their superior geography getting them early access to the Azores, which meant they could colonize the new world decades before anyone else.

Despite common sense, African and native American tribes could settle no new territory until the arrival of the Europeans. The one sole exception was the Incan Empire, due to their possession of a coastal trade centre.

The limiting factor in how much infrastructure a country can build is not MONEY, as that's easy to get. Government officials are by far the more valuable commodity! It it a common occurrence to see a wealthy country who cannot use its money on anything because they do not have enough magistrates to mix into the cement foundation for the buildings.

The most technologically advanced country in the ancient world was in fact the nation of Aachen, a tiny member state of the Holy Roman Empire. They existed for several hundred years during which they did absolutely nothing of value, before being annexed by the Austrian Empire.

[CyberEagle]

There was never any honour involved in alliances and there certainly never, even once, was a nation that choose to give up its own gains to help an ally keep his territory, instead of pulling out the moment their weaker partner started losing.

[ind2bc]

The most technologically advanced country in the ancient world was in fact the nation of Aachen, a tiny member state of the Holy Roman Empire. They existed for several hundred years during which they did absolutely nothing of value, before being annexed by the Austrian Empire.

And it threw off the tech map mod for everyone in the world

[Nassau]

Sweden conquered alf of Scandivia, untill Russia got big and conquered Scandinavia from Russia. And no one in Europe cared about this.

Protestants and calvinists popped it almost at the same time, everywhere in Europe. England, allthough a 100% catholic nation, still went protestant, screw these infidel peasants!

The pope, although a devout catholic, allied many protestant and reformed nations and fought mostly catholics.

Although armies where slaughtered, meaning completly 100% destroyed, their kingleader still escaped but died a month later during a hunting trip.

The Netherlands formed around 1400-1500 and owned the provinces of Holland and Zeeland. Their neighbor Holland in Gelre never fully understood this. Utrecht (in Friesland) was a vassal of Castille in that time, while Brabant (in Utrecht and other provincies) was in constant war with Burgundy, luckily France was busy fighting England all the time.

The Mamelukes succeeded in controlling both the Ottoman Empire and Persia but collapsed afterwards, allowing Syria and the Byzantine Empire to grow to full glory.

Vijangygar and whatever it's name fully controled India and went on expanding towards Sri Lanka and Asia.

Japan never formed any threat to China.

Indonesia was already united under one nation before Europe took the lands.

In America only three real nations survived when Europe got their, one in the North, one in the Middle, one in the South, no traces of other nations were ever found. The Northern one got eaten by Portugal. The Southern one survived untill the 1700's, cause it was a vassal of Castille. And what is this Spain people talk about?

[Orlov Kruskayev]

The rising power of the Kingdom of France in the late 14th Century had been unstoppable at their never ending war of conquests until the 15th century. Then, the powerful crown of Bohemia, the sole overlord and emperor of all princes in the Holy Roman Empire had laid destruction and division upon their lands. Never again any European power west of the Pyrinees had been significantly larger. The Eternal Holy Roman Rulers of Bohemia, however, had expanded wildly into savage lands of the Mongol Hordes, as they heard about wonders of spices and riches of India. In one document, a letter to the pope (who was then living in Aachen), the Bohemian king said "fuck those sissy sea floaters. I'll be colonizing my way to China by LAND." Centuries later, the Bohemian land went as far as China and eventually met the "sissy sea floaters" of Portugal, Castille and several smaller French, Italian, British and Irish and German states as they found India and Eastern Siberia.

There are vague and inexact historical documents that the Scandinavian and Polish lands from Archangelsk to Smolensk, for a brief and questionable period of time, were in the hands of these so called "Russian Kingdoms". Apart from some weird cultural uniqueness, they were never again capable of organizing their own states. There are also proofs that similarly cultured people were found in the heart of Siberia by Portuguese Conquistadors around the early 1700, under the name of "Kingdom of Muscovy". But as unlikely as it may be, their existence may have been short after the much larger Portuguese Empire laid Colonization and Civilization to Siberia.


The long dead belief of Hindu has but one stronghold: a province from the Nomad Tribe of the Oirats. And the Horde Official Religion is buddhism.

One of the city states that emerged from the French collapse in the 1500s were the now well stablished Guyenese Empire. Eventhough their vast empire stretches from Alaska to Florida, but a few countries in the world know about their powerful existence.

Europeans were very confused when they began to call American lands their homes. The sons of La Plata found their place in the world above the Amazon, where they once called Colombia. The United States of America have sent the message of a rising power to the world as they broke free from Scandinavia, standing for freedom on the islands of Bermuda and St Martinique. Peruvian patriots found safety in the Pampas and in the Parana River, as the Paraguayan Empire now stretches as far as Grão Para and Patos.

One curious case happened as a vessel, planned to unload patriot fighters in the Viceroyalty capital shores, was carried off and drfited away into the Atlantic by powers unknown. Months later, suffering from dehidration and sea sickness, they claimed what they found as their land and fought for their rights as the poor slave traders ran in fear and the confused African tribes couldn't understand what was all that uncivilized madness about (Some trusteable historical sources claim that the "liberators" sang one very unique warcry as they ran into the fight. Some say it was but their laugh.). Everything settled as the Empire of Brazil declared independence from the Hansa and realized their rich lands and cores were at the other side of the Atlantic. Their prestige was never very high, as the mockery never really ended after this one small mistake.

North Africa is a very volatile territory. After the Castillian crown claimed it all for itself, centuries have passed and long revolts have taken place after Castille finally crumbled in the hands of the long dead powerhouse of France, who resettled into iberia after their original lands were made into a confusing patchwork of misplaced nations. The resulting chaos ended up with the christian nations of Algiers, Morocco, Fez, Tripoli and Mamluks seeing the light of freedom again. Only to be conquered by some other european power, one decade later.

The most technologically advanced place in the world, from the 15th to the 19th century was Bar. This one province in the heart of Europe has seen revolution after revolution, empires rising and crashing and had only been observing, and learning. Their engineering genius and technological wonder once spread like fire in the fields of to the entire continent of europe, only to be replaced by more wonderful technologies, months later.

[castiron]

The great military power of Castille was very interested in English affairs, often times taking lands in Scotland or Ireland.
The hopes of the Irish for a United Irish nation never materialized, as the kingdoms of the Irish were destroyed by 1402.

[Kaazmodan]

Back in the time of legend, in an era called "In Nomine", in the lord's year of 1717, the longest and most brutal war ever, broke out between the the largest nations of the world: Ming and Denmark. They were both scum of the earth and hated throughout the entire world, but that did not matter, as both nations could field more than a million men at all times. Their common border was great, from the Urals in the north, down to the Black sea, and once again in Turkey and Egypt. They even shared a border in South America.

For more than a century, war was waged, in Russia, Crimea, Egypt and the Arabian Peninsula, India, both Americas, even through the desert corridors of Sahara. But the most brutal battles were fought in Turkey. Armies consisting of hundreds of thousands of men were wiped out there in a matter of weeks, and it is certain that several million men died in that theatre of war alone. Oddly enough, the populations of the cities of the world, were largely unaffected. It was a war that no nation could win, but both nations struggled on stubbornly. When Denmark broke through in Egypt, the Chinese broke through in Turkey. The Danes pushed back, only to see hordes of Chinese dying in the winter inside occupied Moscow. During this war, many new nations broke free of the Empires: Brazil declared freedom on the Gold Coast, Mexico on the Carribean Ilands, The United States of America in Bermuda, and the United States of Central America near Mobile, taking with them the most valuable centre of trade in the world.

Over the next 104 years, all talks of peace broke down, time and time again, and when chaos and rebels ruled, on a warm spring morning in may 1821, all record of history was lost.

[PdoxNewbie]

It was interesting to learn how France collapsed in the early 1400s, and how Venice took control of all of the Balkans.

[PdoxNewbie]

back in the time of legend, in an era called "in nomine", in the lord's year of 1717, the longest and most brutal war ever, broke out between the the largest nations of the world: Ming and denmark. They were both scum of the earth and hated throughout the entire world, but that did not matter, as both nations could field more than a million men at all times. Their common border was great, from the urals in the north, down to the black sea, and once again in turkey and egypt. They even shared a border in south america.

For more than a century, war was waged, in russia, crimea, egypt and the arabian peninsula, india, both americas, even through the desert corridors of sahara. But the most brutal battles were fought in turkey. Armies consisting of hundreds of thousands of men were wiped out there in a matter of weeks, and it is certain that several million men died in that theatre of war alone. Oddly enough, the populations of the cities of the world, were largely unaffected. It was a war that no nation could win, but both nations struggled on stubbornly. When denmark broke through in egypt, the chinese broke through in turkey. The danes pushed back, only to see hordes of chinese dying in the winter inside occupied moscow. During this war, many new nations broke free of the empires: Brazil declared freedom on the gold coast, mexico on the carribean ilands, the united states of america in bermuda, and the united states of central america near mobile, taking with them the most valuable centre of trade in the world.

Over the next 104 years, all talks of peace broke down, time and time again, and when chaos and rebels ruled, on a warm spring morning in may 1821, all record of history was lost.

lol

[ywhtptgtfo]

It was interesting to learn how France collapsed in the early 1400s, and how Venice took control of all of the Balkans.

Historically, Venice did meddle a lot in the Balkans.

[PdoxNewbie]

Historians ponder on how Niznhy Novgorod evolved from a city-state into a superpower at the gates of China.

[TheCheeseMaster]

Venice became the first Western state in africa after Sardinia-Piedmont conquered the Center Of Trade

[Iwanow]

Riga conquered first inflants, then subjugated teutonic order, then, started conquest of lithuania golden horde and novgorod. It's quick expansion, was shock to many eastern countries, and quickly it became strongest empire in the eastern europe, able to beat even famous tiamariot cavalry of turkish Kamaranli dynasty, rulling over most of former ottoman turks empire.

[e_quality]

I love this thread.

England, allthough a 100% catholic nation, still went protestant, screw these infidel peasants!

In all fairness, that is pretty much a very accurate summary of the real beginning of the English reformation.

[PdoxNewbie]

There was an international law where NO ONE could build ships in any port which they didn't have a "core" on.

[PdoxNewbie]

When cardinals elect the pope, cardinals from the same country conspire and ensure that all of them will vote for a puppet of their country's ruler.

[Iwanow]

When cardinals elect the pope, cardinals from the same country conspire and ensure that all of them will vote for a puppet of their country's ruler.

That is pretty much what happened many times in eu3 timeframe.

[ywhtptgtfo]

Despite being 1/4 the size of Poland and Lithuania, Bohemia the HRE emperor would single-handedly roll all over both countries and fill their lands with brownish stripes.

Prussia is a weak country that gets bullied around by the likes of Cechy, Austria, and Poland.

[Iwanow]

What is the "Prussia" You speak about? Oh, you mean the pagans that lived in polish province of królewiec?

[MrQwerty]

Historians ponder on how Niznhy Novgorod evolved from a city-state into a superpower at the gates of China.

By October 14th, 1399, all diplomatic ties and wars have been severed between all countries. By the next few days, a furious rush of wars, alliances offers, and others occurs.