Three Golden Lions - An English AAR

[thekinguter]

Three Golden Lions


The story of a Lancaster England

Hello, I'm thekinguter and this is my English AAR. Through time we will follow Thomas I of Lancaster and his descendents lead England through the Renaissance, colonization, imperialism until their demise. I hope you enjoy, and a small disclaimer: I will finish this AAR no matter what, so don't despair if I don't update frequently, it will eventually end. I am open to suggestions and I'm playing this AAR as I update, so any suggestions will be taken seriously.

INDEX
Chapter 1 - Henry the Strong
Chapter 2 - Tomas di Siena

• Part 1: A renaissance prince
• Part 2: Damn Yorkists!
• Part 3: The island of Thule

[thekinguter]

Chapter 1 : Henry the Strong.

They say Henry the Strong was one of the most feared monarchs in English history. His 50 year reign was not only repressive and tyrannical, but it also saw the rise of the Lancaster Empire. By marriage, war and diplomacy he lead a northern empire composed by Norway, Denmark, Scotland, Ireland, Wales, England, Sweden and Finland. It is said he impaled his own mother when she refused to assist his enthronement (after he had murdered his brother for looking him in the eye during a seasonal hunt and her mother refused to ever speak to him again). His mother was hanged, dried and quartered, against all tradition and morality. But no one dared lift their arms against Henry the Strong, for it was said that he had the eyes of the devil and with his stare he could paralize even the strongest warriors. His reputation was such, that his name was only wispered and when he visited the cities or foreign courts nobody dared look him at the eyes. No one but Philip Capet, his life long rival, who fought countless battles which lasted days and weeks and where the soldiers' swords broke down from being over used and horses died from lack of rest. But Henry the Strong was unable to defeat Philip in his battles, and eventually the claim Henry had on France was as dead as his own mother. The kingdom was exhausted and the fields were dieing and the streets were empty. Moss and vines grew on London's streets as there was no one present to clean or mantain the great town. The fighting would've gone for ever if it were not for Thomas Lancaster, his first son, who confronted his father in a cold night when the moon was blue and the fields were silent. Henry the Strong took out his sword and fought with his own son until the sun came up the next morning. When the master of the horses of the castle went to feed the king's horse, he found him bent over with a sword in his throat. The court was silent. Everyone feared and hated the king, but no one dared say anything for his stare would've destroyed them, but now they were finally free.

The next day, Thomas dispatched emissaries to France and Scandinavia: the king was dead and there was finally peace, and Thomas would be crowned King Thomas I of England and Ireland. England would cede it's claims in France but keep both Normandy and regions in western France. Thomas's brother, Gustav, would lead the Kalmar union and the northern states and England would keep it's claims in Tuscany. This was the situation the day Thomas was crowned King of England, Ireland and Wales, the year of the lord 1491:





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Yes, Russia formed by itself (it was muscow who did it) and Austria-Bohemia inherited Hungary. Those are the cleanest borders I've ever had without my intervention. The Kalmar Union is lead by a noble of my dynasty. PS: Dat Algeria..

[DeciusR]

Will now be stalki- watching with relish!

[homy_dog34]

Good start, also: dat map!

[ncm]

Europe's borders are too clean: you should muddy them.

[thekinguter]

Thanks guys. But without the usual bohemia/burgundy blob things might look good for Austria and France. And englishmen do not like the french. Things may turn out different than on most games... I will update twice this week.

PS: Russia is actually colonizing Siberia!! May god have mercy upon us.

[morningSIDEr]

Henry the Strong certainly sounds like quite a ruler! Probably for the best that he met his end, hopefully his son Thomas isn't quite as fearsome a man as his father. I'll watch this with interest.

[thekinguter]

Chapter 2, Part 1 : A Renaissance Prince

Never in the history of England had an english king been born and raised in Italy. King Thomas I was known as Tomás di Siena by his inner circle, having been born and raised in English Tuscany. The story of how this foreign region had been part of England goes back to the rise of Henry the Strong's father, Henry the Second. Henry the Second had dedicated his life to killing frenchmen for his claim on the French Throne was widely known in European courts. When Philip Capet decided to incorporate Savoy, bypassing all feudal rights and even God's will, into his wide personal domain, Henry the Second saw the opportunity to intervene to weaken the frankish monarchy. His fruitless war saw only the incorporation of the distant city of Siena to the English throne, as Savoy was annexed into France anyways, but English presence in Italy began that lucky day. And the town of Siena was ruled by lombards as long as they pledged loyalty to the english crown and occasionally hung a english banner outside city hall. For the city of Siena had once again seen a change of leadership; today it was the english, yesterday it was the bohemians and last week it was the aragonese.

Italy was a restless place. Italy saw the rise and fall of Pope Inocentius VII's empire, that streched from Rome to Sicily, the seizure of Firenze and the execution of the Medici's by Girolamo Savoranola and the ever growing presence of the French Kings who were eating up Lombardy and Northern Italy. But the war didn't stop the new ideas that started to flourish with the coming of the greek wizards. These men, refugees from the now fractured and weakened Byzantine Empire, brought new ideas; The writings of Aristotles, Thales and others; teachings of maths and astronomy and many other interesting books. Soon Italy saw the rise of a new kind of man: the renaissance man. Michael Angelo and Rafaello became leading artists and a queer man called Leonardo Da Vinci worked on new inventions for the Papal Army.




But the distant city of Siena and the surrounding fiefs were quickly forgotten in England as the war ravaged in France and Henry the Second fell off his horse during the battle of Caux and never stood up again. His cruel and ruthless grandson, Henry the Strong rose up the throne and practically ignored the city of Siena in his bloody rule. And so did the englishmen for some time. It was not until Lorenzo "il magnifico" di Medici decided to marry his sister to the king of England that Siena was once again an important place for it was the home of Henry the Strong's wife. Henry the Strong was not a good husband and instead his wife lived alone in Siena with his son Tomás, living a expensive life. It is said she bought silk dresses from the land of the infidel Mohammed and bought expensive spices as far as the mysterious land of Timbuktu through Algerian traders in the market of Marrakech. His son developed a sort of fascination for the unknown in his childhood travels along the mediterranean sea with his mother the queen. In his teens he lurked through the stalls of the marketplaces in Fez, buying strange books and potions from shady people and visited the strangest places among the jewish quarters in Venice and Alexandria. It had become so suspicious, that the court chaplain had warned King Henry the Strong that his son was a heathen. He was imprisioned in London and his inner circle of friends were executed. Once he was able to prove he was a god fearing man, the harm had already been made and Thomas hated his father and had earned a scar that became tale of legends and fables.

Later in his life, when Thomas became King of England he decided to visit his old hometown. The people rallied to the streets after the royal stagecoach bursted into the city with noises of horses and musical instruments. Then the people were amazed by their new king, once a creepy and suspicious boy who lurked in the backalleys and now a strong and handsome monarch with long blond hair, a long scar and a prominent chin. He was cheered by the crowd "Lunga vita al monarca Tomas di Siena!" and a long party ensued. The only man who abstained from the party was the local priest. The king brought much mead and ales, and the rich city had lots of cheese, pork and other food for the party. The party lasted weeks. Soon it was too much and the landowners had no animals to kill, the traders had no gold to share, all the women were pregnant and most of the city had been infested by rats. "Your feast has angered God and your sins have tarnished the land. We will now suffer from your lack of piety" the local priest told to the King. The town was now starving and dieing from illness, as the rats owned the streets and the royal tent had to be burned down to prevent a possible illness. The bodies were buried and the king had to leave town. In his way back to England, the king was visited by the Angel Gabriel in a dream. In front of the King there was the banner of the royal dynasty being burnt by angry peasants and the king lied naked in the street. The Angel talked to the king in a strong powerful voice: "To save your kingdom, you must fulfill God's will. Abandon your life of sin". Although the King woke up in sweat and fear, the other men were deeply sleeping in the galley and the sea seemed peaceful and silent. He went for a walk in the ship's deck and in the skies rested a blue moon, the same blue moon that was in the skies when his father, King Henry the Strong, was slain by himself.

The next day the ship landed in Kent and a herald approached the king. A pretender to the throne had risen in Oxfordshire, claiming to be the legitimate heir to the English Throne and that the Lancaster dynasty was cursed under King Henry the Strong. He was a distant relative of William the conqueror, by doubtful claims and forged documents, and desired to rise up on arms while the king was away.

Thomas dismissed the herald and looked up to the sky. While the sun was up and the people were starting to feed their chicken and plow their fields, the blue moon was still high in the sky. There was still danger present.


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Okay guys I'm sorry for a long update with no images. There are two other parts coming this week, with images, maps and drawings, and more fun. I liked more the first update so next updates will look more like that one from now on.

What happened here is that Siena got uber powerful and I chopped it up and annexed it, trying to block France. Sadly, it didn't help as France is wiping out Milan and Switzerland. I put my NF on Tuscany and I got a pretender because of war exhaustion/French spies.

[homy_dog34]

A llittle hard to read to me, but still a good update. Keep them coming!

[blsteen]

An interesting Europe and an interesting King. Now to the beheading of the pretender!

[thekinguter]

A llittle hard to read to me, but still a good update. Keep them coming!

How is it difficult to read?

@blsteen: That akward moment when an english noble born and raised in England is less legitimate than a king of England born and raised in Italy (barely speaks english).

[homy_dog34]

How is it difficult to read?

Well, more like I like pictures, and everything is all grouped together and stuff. But it still works.

[thekinguter]

Well, more like I like pictures, and everything is all grouped together and stuff. But it still works.

I will do my best next update. We've got quite a couple of things going on now with the renaissance and one particular genovese sailor seeking for patronage for his travels..

[thekinguter]

Chapter 2, Part 2: Damn Yorkists!

They say that if you roam through the town of Barnet during full moon, you can still see men fighting each other. They even say you can still hear their rotten muscles and their rusty swords clashing and breaking apart at night. The stench of death and of conflict rots the place out and no crops had ever grown again ever since in the place where the great battle was fought, nothing but red and white roses, a remainder of the conflict of many winters ago.

I myself had a kinsman that fought and died in that field that nasty day. The battle lasted through the whole night of that damned day, and even in the mist of the morning small isolated pockets of people kept fighting each other between the hills of rotting bodies and hordes of vultures, both human and animal, that looted whatever they wanted from the field. Though the official order of retreat had been given during sunrise, the Yorkist army was so confused by the Lancaster ambush and King Thomas' cavarly charge that the orders seemed unnoticed and many men deserted and even more roamed the fields of Barnet during the following months, looting and pillaging what they could, hoping they could eventually regroup with the main army.


The famous battle of Oxfordshire.

But when winter came, the news of Yorkist defeat were already known even in the most isolated Cornwallish villages where men did not speak english and feared more elves and archaic creatures than God and His will. King Thomas was opposed by the mainly yorkist parliament but supported by his powerful family and their allies. The Lancaster family ruled not only England and it's dominions, but Scandinavia and the Netherlands, and with foreign support the nobles were subdued and the king was able to suspend parliament indefinitely. The following centralization brought more unrest as the nobles were even more willing to rise again to support the Yorkist pretenders, who supported decentralization and a strong parlament. However God had other desires and silly coincidences and other misfortunes prevented the Yorkist plotters from meeting to conspire. Soon, the Kingdom of England would find something else to put their mind on, and the conspiracy was quickly forgotten by the people. But the bitterness remained, however.

King Thomas had studied in the university of Bologna and had developed strange interests and desires since his childhood in foreign courts and the backalleys of Marrakech. He had developed a preference for rarities and old arabic texts. He traded with the venetians, for they visited strange places habitated by infidels with wide knowledges in mathematics and astronomy. Siena had been devastated, and Thomas decided to move his home in Italy to the city of Firenze. The city of Firenze had recently been filled by wise men that spoke greek and studied ancient texts, and soon painters and philosophers roamed the streets speaking about humanity and it's ability to choose it's destiny. Without the sponsorship of the Medicis, Thomas had to maintain the so called "renaissance men" warm and fed, and that was when Thomas' court was filled with paintings and exotic artifacts.




There was a certain moment when all kinds of crazy men visited the King's palace in Firenze asking for patronage. Every lunatic, from a priest claiming to be able to fly with silk wings to a genovese sailor that claimed that the world was round. But Thomas was not interested in these lunacies, but instead found a perfect hobby: Alchemy. Soon, he would spend lots of golden ducats finding alchemists who could bath his horse in gold. His family thought he had become a lunatic himself, and soon he had a regent appointed and he was taken back to England.

Soon, a man called Giovanni claimed that he could find the so called island of Thule, far in the northern seas, where Erik the Red and the norsemen founded their colonies and fought the mythical Skraelings. Thomas didn't see the oportunity to establish a colony or a trade center with the heathens, but instead saw something different: What if the island of Thule is the place where the mythical philosopher's stone is hidden? Or what if the secrets of alchemy are hidden somewhere in the distant island? The posibilities were far too high to let them go. He allowed Giovanni to lead the expedition with English money and the count of Suffolk would provide military support for the expedition. The men gathered food and some of the strange instruments that Thomas bought from the arabs, and sailed from Connaught, seeking the lost island of Thule.


Sir Walter Suffolk sails in the sea of Worms.

[thekinguter]

Chapter 2, Part 3: The island of Thule

Sir Walter Suffolk was a war hero and a devout catholic. He brought 80 knights, 200 pikemen, 150 welsh longbowmen and other soldiers. He also brought a priest, a scribe and some venetian sailors to help. The knights brought their horses and a stable was built in the ship. It was a large ship and it is a miracle it didn't sink because of the weight of all the men together. The king held a feast before the men parted in a local castle and even the lowest vermin that would sail in the ship was invited, to the local nobles' annoyance. Much of the men drank and fell in love with red headed irish girls from the area and most of them ate the finest meat they had ever eaten in their lives that night. The party was so good that the next day they parted in tears to the lonely seas.

Sir Walter was an optimist. The journey had just started and the men where already feeling homesick, except the venetians who were skilled sailors that only felt at home in the lonely seas and in the alleys of their beloved Venice. They brought a citar, a strange instrument, and played it and sang in the beautiful italian tongue. They were good traders, smart and opportunistic, but also loud and warm like any italian. They were strange folk for the english peasants who were cold and sarcastic. The knights were reserved and only talked between each other and the venetians, but they didn't trust the venetians and kept the stables and the armory locked and under guard all day. By the sixth month, Sir Walter of Suffolk was the only one that still openly showed optimism. He was an adventurer and a conventional knight, upholding chivalrous values and seeking a name for himself and his house in the new island. Captain Giovanni Caboto (or John Cabot) did not show optimism but didn't dispair either. He was concentrated on his task and was only seen by the other venetians, Sir Walter and occasionally by a english knight.



By the eight month some of the peasants were spiting foam and talking in tongues. The priest had an exorcism made, but the men would not stop their gibberish. The venetians held a meeting in private, and everyone felt like someone was missing for some time. Any one day they came out of their secret meetings and yelled: "The sirens of Oddyseus! Everyone cover your ears!". The peasants did so and for days nobody understood a thing that someone was saying and only the venetians, the priest, the scribe and the captain could understand each other through texts and writing. A storm also shook the boat and some parts of the ship were damaged, but the venetians said the weather was changing and they were closing in to the island. Then all of a sudden a green hill was seen in the background! LAND! Everyone removed their ear coverings and started to jump around the ship. The landing was smooth, but it was not the cold island that the captain expected. No, it was a swampland, inhabited by green creatures with thousand teeth and dark poisonous worms that sucks your blood until you are dry.

The knights wore their shiny armour clad in steel and heavy equipment and the peasants work their helmets and pikes and cut through the swamps. They reached a village ruled by naked heathens in feathers that called themselves "Creek". These men where fascinated by english steel and armor, and they had never seen something like that before. Instead, their weapons were made of wood and stone, and after some negotiations they gladly allowed the englishmen to go into their territory after they decided to trade their horses for access, a guide and food. The knights were reclutant, but the strange artifacts held by the natives were too much to deny in exchange for a horse. After all, they all had more horses back at home.


The English expedition trades its horses with the natives in exchange for military access and supplies.

The Englishmen stayed in different villages during their trip. They tried to map the entire region, avoiding areas that were not fully controlled by the new Creek allies as they were occupied by the so called "Cherokee", some evil savages that were descendants of the feared Skraelings. The Creek were a strange people that spoke a strange language and had strange customs. But when Sir Walter and his troops arrived to the end of the Creek territories, the Creek warned them of the belligerent Cherokee and their tomahawks. Sir Walter, a fan of El Cid and a chivalrous knight himself, sought to enter the Cherokee territories seeking justice. But the men were suffering from attrition: out of 1000 men there were now around 700. And there were no horses to do quick reconassaince missions. The men were quickly losing morale and wanted to return to the Creek people and their warm women. Giovanni decided to return as there were no philosopher stones to be found, but instead lots of trade goods to return to the king. As they were returning to Creek land, the Cherokee ambushed the englishmen.



The English expedition is ambushed by Cherokee warriors.

The cherokee were defeated, but their war chants, their strange weapons and war tatooes remained in the minds of the englishmen for ever. The men could not sleep in fear of the Cherokees and many didn't sleep for weeks until a strange fever took their lives. Giovanni thought it was too much and decided to return to England. The journey back home was different as everyone knew how much rime it would take and this time there were fewer men and more food for everyone as there was more space. By 1512 Sir Walter of Suffolk landed in Connaught, with only 15 knights and 130 peasants, but with the venetians, the scribe and the priest. The knights had been the first ones to die in the swampland, stuck in their heavy armors in the many traps and eaten by animals or killed by fatigue. The lightly armored peasants had survived the swampland perfectly and only 4 of them died in Creek land, but the Cherokee warriors killed many of them. The venetians were not armoured or armed and avoided battles, and all of them were safe and sound back in Venice by 1513. The men who returned were in shock when they heard that King Thomas was no longer the king, but insted Queen Mary of Lancaster ruled the kingdom. It seems his will to change God's design transformed him gradually into lunacy, and one night he was finally possessed by the devil after a failed experiment. The nobles and the Lancaster family, unwilling to compromise another civil war, decided to assasinate him and replace him by his sister, a hopeless spender but a very easily manipulable woman.


Queen Mary I of Lancaster rises to the throne in England, inheriting Holland and Gelre.

Editor's note:
Sir Walter of Suffolk and Giovanni Caboto did go into the annals of history, not as a chivalrous knight or the discoverer of the island of Thule, but the first men to reach the Americas after the vikings. It is believed they landed near Savannah, Georgia. A DNA project was made in 2002 and 150 living descendants of the first englishmen to arrive in North America were found, believed to be descendants of peasants and native women. A XVth Century armour was found under the remains of an old creek village, together with other european goods believed to be of venetian origin.


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As promised, there are the two updates I said I would upload. Things are looking good for England. The Lancaster dynasty screwed up big time in Scandinavia, and Lancaster Denmark has been raped by the Hansa. The Kalmar Union was lost and Sweden annexed Norway through several infamy-high wars. Also, Queen Mary inherited Holland and Gelre and mega-Algiers was destroyed by the Venetians. I allied with Sweden just in time to seize Greenland. Also, realizing the importance of Venice, I allied them and joined their trade league, upsetting the Hansa.

Ok again sorry for the long updates, but those were the last two large ones I believe

[morningSIDEr]

Very interesting stuff. The cosmopolitan Thomas passed away rather quickly but not before ordering the epic voyage and exploration of North America, the discoveries of which should prove very useful for England in the future. A pity the expedition ended on a sour note but I'm intrigued to see what Mary will make of the findings.

[thekinguter]

Updating this weekend.

Yes unfortunatly our beloved englishmen are rntangled with both internal and external disputes so they wont pay much attention to Sir Walter Suffolk. But things are about to change

EDIT:

My EUIII game won't start. It's not the save, but something I did while attempting to create a new nation.. I will email myself my savegames so the AAR is preserved (I won't let those perfect borders disappear just like that!) and I will reinstall Divine Wind. So I'll have to postpone the update for next week, but it will come with a little bonus to make up for the long wait Happy Easter everyone

[blsteen]

A new queen (meh) and first contact with the natives of the far shores. Now to stabilize England's position. And profit.