OfficAARs' Mess: A place to discuss and recommend AARs

[Lord Durham]

People entering the building had to wait a few seconds for their eyes to get used to the dim light. During those few seconds, the first thing they usually noticed was the faint smell of paint... but the place was brand new after all, and it would disappear within the next few days. Then, they walked to the counter and dropped on a stool, ready to get something to drink. There they were greeted by the bAARtender.

"- Hello OfficAAR, and welcome to the officAARs' Mess. This is a quiet place were writers can enjoy a drink or a discussion when they are not occupied at conquering the World or writing they debriefing. Everyone is welcome here. Absolutely everyone.
Over there is the stage, where a band is usually playing the last songs from all over the world. We already had the pleasure to listen to Lale Andersen singing "Lili Marlen", Edith Piaf singing "Mon légionnaire", and next week Louis Armstrong will come and play his new album. The customers can also use the microphone if want to announce their latest works.
Over here is the lounge, where you can sit down in a comfortable armchair and enjoy a drink while chatting with the other customers. You can do some advertising, ask for some advice, recommend another writer's AAR or just bring something to everyone's attention. Maybe a good book on the conflict or a link that might prove useful to other people.
We also had a few snooker tables installed right behind the lounge, so if you feel like playing, please do so.
And last but not least, is the counter. Here you can get any drink you want. The guy sweeping the lounge is Norgesvenn and I am Eochaid. We are the two bAARtenders, and we run the place for the landowner, Lord Durham. If you have a question or need anything, please ask us. We will do our best to help you and make your stay here as nice as possible.
If you have questions, please ask me. If you want to see the rules, they are written down on the black board right above the door.

THE RULES OF THE OFFICER'S MESS:

This place is meant for:

Announcing your own new AAR (but keep it to a minimum)
Endorsing others' AARs
Advice and ideas

This place is NOT meant for:

Spamming discussions
Rudeness or immature behaviour to other people
Criticising the game
Discussing topics that belong in other forums

Management reserves the right to delete any posts that are not within the spirit of the rules.

Please keep your posts in character, try to avoid quotes when they are not REALLY useful, and enjoy your stay

Your resident bAARtenders are Eochaid and Norgesvenn.

[HolisticGod]

HolisticGod is on the corner stool, sipping gin and tossing stories back and forth with Norg.

"Seriously," he says, balancing on the back legs of his stool, "I'd keep your excellent AAR just the way it is... The call for Built This/Researched That/Killed Them will die down as the game gets into wider circulation."

He pauses around his wits, and nearly shouts.

"I'm enjoying it a great deal. Hell, I'll even make it my first official recommendation.

Chuckles at himself.

"The trouble with links..."

[Paul Drye]

Let's start with the format of the AAR. Thanks to EU and EU2, we all know the possibilities:

- Faux history book
- Memoir
- Pseudo-novel following the main characters
- Multi-player round robins

I'm probably missing some. Still, I'd like to suggest that the memoir style works best for HoI. In the EUxen, memoirs were difficult because of the contortions you had to go through to cover several centuries from one viewpoint.

But here we've got a mere 12 years, at most, to write up. There are also still people alive now from the time period in question, so you can write with a modern-day voice and still reasonably "eye-witness" all the events in question.

If you've not seen it, I brazenly draw your attention to my Winning the Peace where I tried to put all this into practice. I think it worked out pretty well.

The other thing to try is find some resources on the things and places you write about.

Languages are easy: www.yourdictionary.com covers scads of them, and certainly all of the languages of the majors. Dropping in a few nouns can add a great deal to the versimilitude of a piece.

Second is to grain the geographic detail a little finer than a province. Then place your events there, or plug in otherwise homeless events (like the development of the A-bomb) there. Don't invade Corsica -- use Google or something to find a likely location and hit the beaches there. Here, I'll do it right now:

(googlegooglegoogle)

Beauty! A Corsican tourism site turns up a likely looking beach in Southern Corsica. Took me about thirty seconds, and now I can have my infantry divisions wading ashore on Palombaggia Beach under naval artillery fire, cutting off a defending Axis force on Capo d'Asciaghju.

On a similar note: names, names, names. Who did it? What was the commander? I dug up the name of Japan's real-world expert on nuclear technology during the late '30s and early '40s, Yoshio Nishina and stuck him in, for example.

A second browser window is your friend, when you're writing an AAR.

Cheers,
Paul Drye

[Valdemar]

Valdemar stumbled into the mess and looked around, confused, then seeing the familiar faces of HG, LD and Norgesvenn at the bar he headed in that direction.

“A julebryg, please, norg”

The Head bAARtender placed a misty glass filled with dark beer in front of Valdemar. The newcomer took a long pull and sighed contentedly, then looked around.

“This is place bran new, for a moment I thought I was in the bAAR, but now I can see LD has started franchising Rictus’ idea. Nice work, just hope he doesn’t cannibalize his own venture."

Vadlemar leaned over to HG, "I couldn't help hearing what you said about Norg's AAR. I agree they'll come around, it is an excellent story, but all these brand new ensigns and cadets, they don't know that kind of work yet. Just wait 'till the veteans return from the past campaigns in EU2, they'll teach these young bucks to enjoy a good story. "

HG just nodded and sipped his drink

Valdemar continued, "If you want a different approach though I can recommend Faelin's AAR, more of a straight battle style or Peter Ebbesen's which is just pure comedy."

Valdemar drained his beer and headed back to Constantinople 1439

[Hajji Giray I]

A handsome-looking, tall man at the end of the bAAR who vaguely resembled some famous movie star--who was it? the bAARtender thought. I know him!--put down a weighty volume as his drink was placed in front of him. The bAARtender asked, "What's that you're readin'?"

"The Official History of the United Kingdom in the Second World War. Great read. Problem is, the author is pulling a J.K. Rowling and delaying the sequel like crazy." The man smiled. "Great read, though. One of the best history-book AARs I've ever read."

He opened the book to a page towards the end and began reading again.

[Lord Durham]

LD Stepped into the recently opened OfficAAR's Mess and looked around. Kind of quiet, he thought. But then again, the holiday season approaches. Working his way over to a spot by the fireplace, he stopped by the familiar figure of Norg, tending bAAR. "Beer me."

With the beverage in hand, he joined a table occupied by HolisticGod, Paul Drye, Valdemar and Hajji Giray I. They were discussing the merits of some new entries, while Paul D. was lamenting the fact his post had made it into the wrong thread.

LD took a drink. "Don't worry, I took care of that."

HG nodded. "Nice job with the place."

"Don't thank me, the rules were drafted by Eochaid, based on the original bAAR. I just did some editing. Hope this place proves as successful as the other place. BTW, I noticed the first Canuck based AAR by Drgnsrd. I'll have to check it out. It's good to see some really good material by you, HG, along with Norg, Sytass, Peter E, and Nalivayko, to name a few. There's quite a few new faces I'll have to check out, too. Hmm, beer's finished. I must have been thirsty. Now, where's that waitress?"

[Nikolai]

Nikolai walks into the mess(), and heads straight to Norgesvenn. "A Coke Light please" he orders. Everybody's eyes suddenly search to him, and all the gossip goes silent. "Why," he says, "a diabetic has to drink something too! And besides, I am just 16, and doesn't want Norg here into any trouble!"'

The gossip starts slowly again, and Nikolai, now with a glass of ice cold Coke Light in his hand, turns to Sytass. "Good evening, Sytass!" he says. "I really like your AARs, are we going to get any new installments soon? And for your next AAR, could I hope for a Japanese one? I don't think we'll seen any of thosel, correct me if I'm wrong."

In the meantime, Professor Ebbesen has come into the mess, and Nikolai, now in a good mood because of the vodka someone had sneaked into his Coke, raises his glass, and screams: "Everybody! *hich* Let us drhrnk for our maghnihcfisent AAchR writers, Sytachs and Profescor *hich* Ebbechsen! Schoal!"

Somewhere behind in the room, an unidentified voice mumbles "Hajji, why are you hiding that Absolut bottle?"

"Joidlei-ti-ho!!!" Nikolai screams, and goes to sleep at the floor.

[Carligula]

Carligula re-checked the address. Must be it... and stepped inside.

"BAARtender... a rum & tonic, if you please."

Norgesvenn nodded and picked up the bottles, but stopped in midpour. "A... what?"

"You're right, I feel more like a gin & coke. Sorry to trouble you."

"Oh, that's alright. We get a lot of confusing orders here... Have I seen you before? Did you ever come by the bAAR?"

"Yes, it was in my old neighborhood, but I never stopped in. Laziness, agoraphobia... no real reason I suppose. But I heard it's a great place. Have to start hanging out there again soon... meantime I thought I'd help get this place off the ground."

He thanked Norgesvenn and headed for the snooker table, picking up a cue along the way. Where's the chalk... ah, here. Both colors, yellow and blue. Like the Brazililan flag. Why was he thinking of Brazil? Must be SilentLawyer's great AAR The Country of the Future.

While sipping his gin & coke and reflecting on the wisdom of "South America for the South Americans," "Collaborative Internationalism" and "The Future is Now", he waited for a game. With a certain degree of confidence.

[HolisticGod]

HG smiled an emotion best described as nefarious and leaned toward LD conspiratorially.

"I was assuming the strippers in the back were your idea..."

He turned glumly to his drink and shook his head.

"And thank you. Rough going though, without feedback. I suppose I've never gotten far enough along an AAR to hit the usual dry patch, so it's tough."

Lifting his glass he drains the last small pool of gin.

"Still, we're defined by what we do when we're by ourselves..."

[Eochaid]

Eochaid came back from the basement, having changed the beer barrels. He quickly swept the floor and went back to the counter to give Norg a hand with all the customers. The moment he got behind the counter, the phone rang. The Frenchman quickly answered, and after a minute, hang up.

"- Who was it asked Norg

- T'was a manager. Was asking me if we'd let some huy called Franck Sinatra something sing here.

- And?

- I said no of course. I don't like that stupid kids listen to nowadays. Bosa Nova is just enough. After that, it's not even listenable.

- Aren't you a bit old-fashioned?

- Well we are supposed to be in the early fourties after all... And I'd rather read Sytass's Letters from a German Soldiers. It's a pity that there was no update recently, but I know the guy has a Real Life (TM)

- Sure. you know how annoying Real Life (TM) can be. But now go give a drink to that customer over there.

- Okay boss. But isn't it under-age Nikolai?

- Sure it is. But he's only having coke...

- Yeah, right."

[Rocky Horror]

*a large, hairy, growly-looking guy walks in*

"Ach! Eochaid! Norge! You're here!

But...

You're in the bar down the street too..

At once...

Ach, my head hurts now. Give me a drink, I'll beat this whole temporal paradox hootenanny quickly enough..."

"You know, there's only two AARs I've truly loved in this place so far? One's the bratender, the tender bar, the, wossname, bartender's Whodunnit AAR, and the other's old Maxi's cooperative beta-licious Forza Italia! Do wish the guy would update. Air Marshall Balbo is oh so lonely."

[Lord Durham]

LD sat back and eyeballed HolisticGod. "You know, the Free Company could really use Syban now. But, that's another universe and a Forum away. It's nice to see people filter in, recognize the bAARtenders and ignore the Landowner. But, c'est la vie. What you drinking, HG?"

[HolisticGod]

HG lifted his glass and peered at the drying bottom.

"Gin, I think."

He gestured to Norg, who was kind enough to fill it and mark another in a long line of dashes on Holistic's Tab(tm).

"Well, I for one am glad to see the landowner. You even look a bit like the guy from Rent.

"Thanks... I suppose."

"I'm glad to see the Free Company has gone on to more adventures. The last time I was there Syban got to feeling a little lonely."

"I know," LD replied, grinning, "things seemed to pick up immediately after you dropped off the planet for the nth time. Strangely."

"Funny. I've thought about stopping in again, but isn't it set fifteen or twenty years following Book III?"

"About that."

"Syban'd be getting up there in years... Though it would be fun to filter his doings through conversation. Like old times."

"I agree. Captain's missed his aged master."

"A lot of reading to do first. And between Pulp Fiction and the ongoing Hitchhiker's Guide, I'd be hard pressed to find the time to catch up."

[Lord Durham]

LD watched HG down the gin. Man, did he like to drink! He waved to the waitress for another, then leaned forward. "If you hadn't run off, then you'd know that Syban and Guillaume were running Venice from behind the scenes, though Foscari and the Council of Ten are doing their damndest to promote subterfuge. Frankly, I thought the entire siege of Constantinople would be right up your alley." LD sat bac kand watched Norg and Eochaid argue over who got to serve Trixie first. After all, filming was almost complete, and her own spin-off was just starting...

[HolisticGod]

HG finished his gin and ordered a Bass.

"I remember throwing some messages back and forth with you, Chris and the eminent DW on those subjects, including the siege. I even had a nice subplot worked out for the whole business."

LD nodded.

"Is there a summary posted somewhere? I'd jump in now, if I could avoid trampling the plot."

[Syt]

Sytass sits at the bAAR, raising his Glenmorangie to Eochaid and Nikolai.

"Thank you, dear Sirs, for the kind words on my AARs."

He sips on his drink, feeling the liquid work its way warmly down his throat and into his stomach. He savors the taste and odor in his mouth for a moment before he continues.

"I hope to continue writing the letters, but for the moment my work life has switched to a 45-hour-week, and I am still over at the bug reporting forum aiding Vulture and the others keeping order in what has no order."

He chuckles about the last remark then checks his schedule.

"I am confident, though, that I will be able to update again this weekend."

He takes another sip from his Scotch and smiles happily.

[Hajji Giray I]

Hajji Giray thumped his book on the table and said to HolisticGod and Lord Durham, "Well, have you seen Operation Didgeridoo, the Australian Story? With a name like that, it's gonna be good." The words from an old song floated through his head--

Play your digeridoo, Blue,
play your digeridoo.
Keep playing 'til I shoot thro' Blue,
play your digerydoo.

Tan me hide when I'm dead, Fred,
tan me hide when I'm dead.
(other voice) So we tanned his hide when he died Clyde,
And that's it hanging on the shed!

[Norgesvenn]

It was Norg's night off. Having had a rough week with rejecting Ole' Blue Eyes and all, he rejoiced in seeing Eochaid, Rocky Horror, Lord Durham and Holistic God in the Mess. Now, "mess" is as in "a place to eat and drink (preferably drink)" and not as in "Norg's love life".

"You know, HG... your 'Pulp Fiction' amazes me. I've always loved the anti-hero-Philip Marlowe-sort-of-novels. I even wrote my special assignment in literature at high school about the role of the anti-hero. It'd be too far-fetched in an EU II AAR, I reckoned"

"Nothing's too far-fetched for an AAR", replied Lord Durham, obviously still looking for his bio.

Eochaid was virtually present. He seemed very pre-occupied with a map of Copenhagen, though.

"So when's the Free Company making a transformation into the world of HoI, LD?", HG and Norg asked almost in unison.

"I mean, just think of the international brigades here and there", Norg said, while waving his "Heck, we didn't lose the war although we were occupied and bent over after two months" book by some unknown Norwegian author.

"I sort of like this place", Norg said, and helped himself to another pint as Eochaid tried to make sense of the 'ø's, 'å's and 'æ's on his map.

[Valdemar]

Valdemar strolled over, having obtained a free pass for Copenhagen tomorrow. He leaned over Eochaids map and pointed out their meeting place.

Then he looked sourly at Norg's,

"At least he is still coming. Now give a beer and get on that plane"

He took his beer and wlaked over to LD's tabel, lucky to catch the Canadian before the milk and cookis session started,

"I don't now about the FC in HOI, that would mean that a lot of characters suddenly need children in order to be able to have descendants appearing , apart from that I think it will be a lot more difficult getting a consensus on the views of both heroes and villains, that part of history is still very fresh in the mind of a lot of people"

[HolisticGod]

HG prodded Norg, then shook his head and hopped the bar, pouring his own scotch.

"Sometimes," he said, ignoring Eochaid's protests, "a man just needs a scotch. And, sometimes, he needs to make it himself.

As he retook his chair, he eyed LD closely.

"Forget the Free Company. When are you making the transition to HOI? I know you're busy and all, but I think you need to consider your readership." He grinned.

LD just smiled and finished his beer, as HG, his attention span characteristically short tonight, turned to Norg and nodded.

"I'm glad someone's reading it... I'll have an update shortly, to balance out the installment I'm writing for In the Age of Dust. Eighteenth century style depresses the hell out of me."