Knud Knýtling II: First as Tragedy, Then as Farce

[AlexanderPrimus]

Congratulations, phargle!

It gives me great pleasure to pass on this week's WritAAR of the Week award to you for your outstanding accomplishments in AARland. This great AAR has only just begun, but it's every bit as terrific as its predecessor.

Head on over and take a bow!

[Fookison]

Well done Phargle! And, congratulations on your most recent AARland award!!!

[Athalcor]

So awesome AAR! I can't stop laughing . And congratulations, btw .

[Avindian]

This... this... this may be the greatest thing ever. EVER! I never played CK because I only got CK with CK II, and the original just seems so... bland compared to the new one.

Regardless, I am subbed.

[Alexey Romanov]

It is aliiiive! Subscribed, as if it needed mentioning.

[Waringham]

It's like a nerd's wet dream come true: Phargle and Prince Knud are back. It's both entertaining and intriguing to watch how Knud fares in this brave new world. By the way, Knud Knýtling I inspired me to adopt the Knýtlings family in a text-rp of sorts where they frolic freely.

[phargle]

The Muddling Adventures of Prince Knud

Begun March 17th, 2012
Six years and eleven days after the original began

The previous story. . .

The Muddling Adventures of Prince Knud

(the quality is low because there's a lot of them. pictures that is. the low quality of the words is all my fault though.)

1075 - 1077



The king agrees that my daughter should inherit my lands.

It's not "giving me free duchies" awesome, but it's way better than "ending my wars prematurely for no reason" awesome.



There's the king I know and love.



I'm not going to lie. That's still pretty hot.



My daughter needs a lesson in charity. I tell her it's simple, really.

Charity is when people give their money to the church, and we intercept it and spend it on whatever we want.



Q.E.D.



My newborn daughter is named "Cecilie," which is a venerable Danish name meaning "sixth daughter."

I have three children, so I can only assume that my wife is a moron.

Or she surreptitiously gave birth to three other children when I wasn't looking.

Maybe I'm the moron.



Using the charity Anders intercepted, we build a stone wall around the wood wall around Viborg.

This means I get to cross "big bag wolves" off the list of "things that can threaten Viborg."

The pigs are safe.



Huh.

I'd exclaim that laziness pays off again, but the king is really starting to freak me out.



Behold Näsborg, my newest castle. It gives me no soldiers, no gold, and hasn't even got any walls around it.

I'm not looking forward to the amount of work it'll take to turn Småland Danish, so I'm thinking I won't bother.



Laziness pays off again!

How much longer can Knud put up with the king's generosity? Will his daughter learn charity? Who will raise Ragnhild? Does God exist? And what will become of Skjalm, Knud's mortal enemy? All this and more will actually, for reals this time, be revealed, when the adventures of Knud Knýtling continue!

[Saithis]

What the hell is wrong with this King. I can only imagine poor Knud is paralyzed with confusion and flashes of a past life haunting him.

If this was Valdemar, you'd probably rule half the North already!

[loki100]

this is becoming quite the treatise in support of laziness ... & innumeracy

[Athalcor]

this is becoming quite the treatise in support of laziness ... & innumeracy

Oh man, it's Middle Ages out there. You would want nobles to be able to count or actually DO things?

[0Emmanuel]

Man, I wish my laziness would pay off as much as Knud's does...

[Legolas]

Knud is back! Genius! Definitely subscribed.

[vasziljevics]

"civilized peasants"?! biggest Paradox ever - if you know what I mean...

[Nikolai]

Man, I wish my laziness would pay off as much as Knud's does...

Tell me about it.

Great happiness from me to phargle for making another Knytling drama!

[Tommy4ever]

I can't believe Knud has returned.

[phargle]

Maybe an update coming on later today. I've played a bit ahead, so I forced myself to play some Baltic pagans for a bit so I have another game going, at least 'til I catch up with the AAR.

Saithis, my experience with kings in CK1 was almost uniformly negative. The few times a king helped me, it was like a little miracle. I do miss Valdemar, and am tempted to name the first bastard that pops up after him. CK2 makes bastards a bit rarer, it seems... the camp follower event that prompted Valdemar and all the Torbens is just gone. As for Skjam, he is a problem that will solve itself, as you shall soon see.

loki100, "laziness and innumeracy" are as good a battle-cry as any. If Knud ever goes to war, maybe he'll use it.

Althacor, Knud neither counts not does things, but the king does. It's a topsy-turvy world. I hope you stop laughing long enough to ... take a breath so you can start laughing again.

0Emmanuel, maybe it's the combination of "ugh so lazy!" and "my dad's the king of denmark" that works for Knud. I recommend that you find a king of Denmark and get adopted by him.

Legolas, thanks for subscribing! I hope you like it.

vasziljevics, oh, I know what you mean.

Nikolai, thanks for reading! I hope this one lives up to y'all's expectations.

Tommy4ever, you and me both, brother. You and me and Knud both. Throth.

Waringham, if there's one thing I've wanted to be, it's a nerd's wet dream. One more item checked off the old bucket list... plus, I am glad you adopted the Knýtlings -- I do so enjoy it when I see them pop up in random places.

Alexey Romanov, of course it needs mentioning! It needs to be shouted from the hills!

Avindian, welcome aboard. The original CK1 was not so bland -- it does a few things better than CK2, but yeah, overall it's not as good. Plus, the original Knud saga, which is many times better than this, was in CK1. You might like it too!

Fookison, thank you, and thank you!

AlexanderPrimus, thank you. I'm looking forward to passing it on. And congratulations to you for having the award previously.

Onward! At some point today!

[phargle]

The Muddling Adventures of Prince Knud

Begun March 17th, 2012
Six years and eleven days after the original began

The previous story. . .

The Muddling Adventures of Prince Knud

(the quality is low because there's a lot of them. pictures that is. the low quality of the words is all my fault though.)

1077 - 1078



Skjalm Hvide. My mortal enemy.

Yeah, he's my vassal and I need him to like me, but the only way to do that is to entrust him with my children.

And I'm a bit nervous about entrusting him with my children.



He's also a colossal pervert, which really should take him out of the running for foster parent of the year.

But I need him to like me. . .



Excellent.

I hope sending Ragnhild to the woman who wanted to kill Ragnhild's sister won't come back to haunt me.



After the stunt that I just pulled with her sister, this is a pretty sensible question.



God exists, all right, and sometimes he really, really hates you.



It's nice to know that, in my own small way, I'm still sending all my problems to church.



Who the heck is Gunnar, and why is he count of Fyn?

What happened to Skjalm, my mortal enemy?



Died of that horrible wound that I hoped would kill him?

Laziness pays off again!



. . . and that's oddly convenient.

I guess "my husband died" is contagious.

And fatal.



I still need the count of Fyn to like me whether he's my mortal enemy, a nine-year-old boy, or both.

Except now my cousin is in his court. She can raise Ragnhild while I get all the credit.

Knud Knýtling, you're a genius.

Well, that's fostering of children out of the way. What's next for Knud? What will happen to Anders of Randers? How will Knud continue to raise Ellinor? Can Knud maintain his status as the future king of Denmark by doing nothing by going on hunts, waiting for his enemies to die, and knocking up his wife? You won't believe what you see when we return to the over-the-top shenanigans of Denmark's first family as the adventures of Knud Knýtling continue!

[Saithis]

Nooooo Skjalm! How could you kill him with your laziness, you cruel cruel man!

So far Knud and his epic moustache haven't had to lift a finger for all this success. All I can think is that he's being lured into a false sense of security before the game decides to play rough.

[loki100]

even better Skjalm didn't like you because you were slothfull ... well you showed him the true benefits of doing nothing

I'm now wondering how far Knud can actually go without doing anything ...

[TheExecuter]

This AAR is so far beneath the CK1 version, that it is painful to relive the same old jokes. I mean, how often can the Knytlings proclaim themselves geniuses and send all their problems to the church...when it is patently obvious that the church won't take them, and daddy Denmark takes care of Knud's every whim?

At least we see that God loves Knud...although Knud doesn't like God...