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Thread: Knud Knýtling II: First as Tragedy, Then as Farce

  1. #1
    Field Marshal phargle's Avatar
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    Knud Knýtling II: First as Tragedy, Then as Farce

    The Muddling Adventures of Prince Knud

    Begun March 17th, 2012
    Six years and eleven days after the original began


    The previous story. . .

    Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark (and other assorted tales)

    The story so far. . .

    The Muddling Adventures of Prince Knud
    The Mothered Adventures of Duke Valentin

    (the quality is low because there's a lot of them. pictures that is. the low quality of the words is all my fault though.)

    1066- 1068



    I'm Knud Knýtling. If I had drawn this myself, I would have skipped the 70s porn 'stache.

    I'm officially a bastard this time, but at least I don't have intestinal worms.



    Apparently, I am fearsome on the battlefield. Maybe I will get to see a battlefield someday.



    I am also shockingly lazy.

    Shocking.



    This is my father, the lustful king of Denmark. His desires are not appreciated by the church. His wife is dead, so she doesn't appreciate them either.



    What the hell is this? We're Ylvings now? How is that even pronounced?

    I'd fix that if I weren't so shockingly lazy.



    Laziness is paying off. Knud Ylving, you're a genius.

    You know, that just doesn't sound right.



    My father not only made me heir apparent, but he also hooked me up with a hot German noblewoman. We both look surprised.

    My interest in translating her last name is low.



    It turns out she's a little crazy. I knew it was too good to be true.

    So did she, it seems.



    She's paranoid, and I'm lazy, but somehow we manage to get it on.

    I name her Ellinor, because honestly, I am not sure how to name children when they are girls or legitimate.



    The king has promised me a title. Laziness is paying off.

    Knud Ylving, you're . . . a man who can't seem to get around to fixing his last name.



    Is Ellinor not a bastard? Will Knud fix is his name? How in the world is Knud zealous, and does this mean he will send all his problems to church? Stay tuned, as the adventures of Knud Knýtling, Prince of Denmark, begin!
    Last edited by phargle; 28-03-2012 at 19:47.

  2. #2
    Hoorah!

    It's like Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving all mixed together today! Definitely subscribing to this AAR.

    Also, regarding the Ylving/Knytling thing: http://forum.paradoxplaza.com/forum/...use-of-Denmark.

  3. #3
    El Presidente of Tropico & etc Ivir Baggins's Avatar
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    Field Marshal loki100's Avatar
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    wonderful, almost as if he's never been away
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    Halleluja! Knud returns!

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  7. #7
    Field Marshal Malurous's Avatar
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    Hilarious as ever! The predecessor is one of the, if not the, funniest AARs ever so it's great to see this.

    I don't see why Knud would have skipped the 'stache though, I like it.
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    On Probation thrashing mad's Avatar

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    Subscribed.

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    Konungr of Scandinavia DarkieBabZ's Avatar
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    Fun story, I enjoyed reading this little tragedy ..
    to unite scandinavian as one that is my true goal in life...
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  10. #10
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    Oh my! And so it begins! Subscribed!
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    Huzzah! Another phargle AAR, and I get to follow it from the start.

    So... the Adventures of Knud Ylving, huh? And he married a Schweinfurt.

    What amuses me the most is that this is a story about St. Cnut the Holy, who in real-life I'm sure would have been just as surprised to learn of his canonization as your Knud would be. Because I gather the real guy was more like your interpretation than the church's.

    Great stuff, I'm eager to see what happens next.

  12. #12
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    You cheeky son of a ... where have you been?

    Subscribed, of course, to the successor to the AAR that got me to buy CK. :P
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    Yeeeeeeeeeees!

    How long before it all goes wrong? And the wife gets sent to the church?
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    It's been six years since the first one?!? What is wrong with time these days - I seemed to have a lot more of it, back in the day... <Grumblegrumble>

    Anyway, I'm sure a less lazy relative of Knud could go into the appropriate game file and correct the last name thingy. That said, Ylving or Knytling, this sure is off to a promising start. Especially liked Knud's observations on his dad's lustiness - and his mother's objections.
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    Field Marshal phargle's Avatar
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    Knud has 99 problems, but a church ain't one.

    The Muddling Adventures of Prince Knud

    Begun March 17th, 2012
    Six years and eleven days after the original began


    The previous story. . .

    The Muddling Adventures of Prince Knud

    (the quality is low because there's a lot of them. pictures that is. the low quality of the words is all my fault though.)

    1069- 1071



    I wanted a title. I did nothing to get a title. And then I got a title.

    Laziness pays off again!



    Behold my demesne: an estate with no moat, no walls, no villages, no dungeons, no guard quarters. . .

    Looks like I've come to the right place.



    The largest village in Jylland is named Randers. Seriously.

    I guess "Horners" and "Shagtown" were unavailable.



    Let's see. . . "Become Exalted Among Men" or "Have a Son"?

    I am not sure I can become exalted among men without putting on pants, and I'm too shockingly lazy to put on pants.



    This is my council. It's missing a few important positions. I couldn't send my problems to church if I tried.

    I also couldn't stop snickering about "Anders of Randers" if I tried.

    I have to select a spymaster, but I'm so lazy . . .



    Laziness pays off again!



    Bishop Gunnar would rather go falconing than be a steward.

    I would also rather go falconing than be a steward.

    I would also rather Bishop Gunnar go falconing than be a steward. If only there were some way to replace him. . .



    Laziness pays off again!

    This guy, who is legally a bastard, says he'd be a better steward than Gunnar.

    His chief qualifications are having a tonsure, putting people on spikes, and hating people named Knud Knýtling.



    Unlike Gunnar, he can count past two, so he gets the job.

    I send all my church problems to . . . wherever courtiers go when they get canned.



    And then I bang my hot wife so hard she turns blonde.

    It's like a victory lap for people who are too lazy to run victory laps.



    Will Bishop Gunnar get revenge for being fired? Will Knud have a son? How is it that Knud has no problems, no church to send them to, and a hot wife? Why is Knud wearing a full suit of armor to get his wife pregnant? All this and more will be revealed in the next startling chapter of the story repetitively told before, the already-past-its-welcome adventures of Knud Knýtling!

  16. #16
    First Lieutenant 0Emmanuel's Avatar
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    Hooray, Knud Knytling is back! I mean, Ylving. You know, that really doesn't sound right...

    And he is successful without even trying, instead of attempting a lot and failing. What a topsy-turvy world!
    Last edited by 0Emmanuel; 17-03-2012 at 17:03.

  17. #17
    Quote Originally Posted by phargle View Post
    This is my father, the lustful king of Denmark. His desires are not appreciated by the church. His wife is dead, so she doesn't appreciate them either.


    I read the original some time ago and thought it was hilarious, so I'm thrilled to see it's back!

  18. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by phargle View Post
    Why is Knud wearing a full suit of armor to get his wife pregnant?
    I'm afraid the wife's, umm, randiness has gotten out of hand if he needs that sort of "protection".
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