Episode 10 - Of Saints And Goddesses
as told by Rostislav I Vladimirovich, Duke of Taurica
Today is gonna be a good day.
I can feel it.
All the clouds that lowered upon our house
into the deep bosom of the ocean buried.
Well, alright, Kirill, my former chancellor, died in a prison cell far away from home.
Because of that unfortunate misunderstanding with my uncle.
So, that's not great
But as to Korchev, harmony rules again.
I think, you are mistaken, Yeremey.
"Pretty sure I'm not..."
Yes, you are. Nobody is trying to kill anyone.
Everything's fine in the state of Taurica.
"If you say so..."
Yes, and tell that stupid girl as well.
This never happened.
As I was saying,
all is love and harmony in...
I just wanted to enjoy life a little after all the fighting over the last years.
But if all I get at home is dead sons, scheming daughters-in-law and nagging... other sons, I might as well go back to war.
Looks like my archnemesis is dead.
Well, his son will do just fine.
Of course, since asking the holy mother for protection didn't really work last time, I'll turn to some other higher power this time.
But which one.
Hm, just when one has need of a bishop none is around.
Ah, Mitrofan, my second-favorite... ahem... how are you?
"I'm well, my lord."
I need a new patron saint. Any ideas?
"Um, Saints Cyril and Methodius?"
The 'Apostles of the Slavs'? How very original...
"Well, then how about... Saint Theodoros?"
Bah, a Greek.
The Stylite? Weirdo.
That always cracks me up.
"Yeah. Oh, I know. Saint Boris!"
Hm. Military leader. Powerful king. I kinda like that idea.
Hello there, Miss Artemis.
Here's a fun fact: As Proclus tells us, Iphigenia, daughter of Agamemnon, was taken away by Artemis when her father tried to sacrifice her, and brought here, to Taurica, where she was from then on in charge of sacrificing Greeks.
So, she has a local connection and doesn't like Greeks. Perfect!
"But she is a heathen goddess..."
That'll be all, Mitrofan.
In the name of the mighty Artemis!
Just to be on the safe side, though, I let mercenaries do all the fighting.
I wanted to employ the cheap peasant rabble from last time again, but they weren't available.
Well, these guys are led by some bloke named Boris, so I actually incorporated Mitrofan's suggestion, too.
He didn't seem to appreciate it all that much.
Can't argue with success!
This is how wars ought to be fought. Sitting in my palace and letting others do the work.
To arms! The Greeks are before the city... wait.
Are those all
But let's not take any chances.
Hey, you! Who are you?
"My name is Svetozar of Taman, mylord. I have come to your court in search of my brother Iakov. He hasn't written in quite a while."
Yeah, anyway, take the city guard and lead them against those Greeks outside the walls.
Teehee. I can make random people off the street generals of my armies and they still win. How awesome is that?
Keep it up, wonderful Artemis.
Hello, my darling Bastardirina.
"Thas not my name."
Awww, aren't you a cutie?
Um, I mean, you know, for a bastard.
And also... ticklish!
"Dad! What about my geometry lessons?"
Not now, Vasilko.
Can't you see I'm busy?
With the war and all?
"She isn't even yours..."
What was that?
Come on, little 'Artemis', let's go to Marshal Gavriil and see how the war is going.
Looks like Damianos took a break from rebelling against the emperor to fight me.
And my newest go-to general defeats him posthaste.
Okay, some bishop died. But I don't think I ever met the guy.
He's Greek, as well, so I can only assume that Artemis takes her sacrifices herself.
Good. Less work for me.
And Damianos submits.
It's alright, vassalizing him means less administrative work for me in the future.
Wow, I'm getting kinda lazy, don't I?
And my son aces his exams without my help.
It seems that laziness really pays off!