what happens if a family member marries a countess or duchess, goes to the foreign court, then inherits or is granted land? does that land become part of my realm?
Short answer no, but long answer is it depends. Inheritance rarely relies on dynasty (major exception seniority)
If a dynasty member or any character is granted land in a foreign court, that person is now a vassal of that court. However, if that same person inherits lands in your realm after being granted land in a foreign court and it is of a higher rank then he already has then he will come back to your realm.
.....................................................................Kingdom A.......................Kingdom B
1. X is a courtier.......................................................X
[maybe of King A dynasty]
in court A
2. X moves to B....................................................................................................... X
3.a X is granted title c....................................................................................[X + c]
in Kingdom B:
X is now a vassal and not
just a courier
4.a.i. X inherits title d....................................................................................[X + c + d]
which is of the same rank
or lower as title c
in Kingdom A
OR
........................................................................Kingdom A..............................Kingdom B
1. X and Y are courtiers..........................................X.....Y
[maybe of King A dynasty]
in court A
2. X moves to B.........................................................Y.....................................................X
3. X is granted title c..............................................Y................................................[X + c]
in Kingdom B:
X is now a vassal and not
just a courier
4. X would inherit.........................................................[Y + d]...................................[X + c]
title d which is the same
rank or lower of c
in Kingdom A which has
high or absolute
crown law, so Y gets d
OR
........................................................................Kingdom A....................................Kingdom B
1. X is a courtier............................................................X
[maybe of King A dynasty]
in court A
2. X moves to B........................................................................................................................X
3. X is granted title c........................................................................................................[X + c]
in Kingdom B:
X is now a vassal and not
just a courier
4. X inherits title D...........................................[X + c + D]
which is superior in
rank to title c
in Kingdom A. Kingdom B's
crown law will not effect this.
I apologize for the formatting, but I hope this helps.
Short answer no, but long answer is it depends. Inheritance rarely relies on dynasty (major exception seniority)
If a dynasty member or any character is granted land in a foreign court, that person is now a vassal of that court. However, if that same person inherits lands in your realm after being granted land in a foreign court and it is of a higher rank then he already has then he will come back to your realm.
.....................................................................Kingdom A.......................Kingdom B
1. X is a courtier.......................................................X
[maybe of King A dynasty]
in court A......
......
I apologize for the formatting, but I hope this helps.
Just because you don't directly control the land, doesn't mean it doesn't contribute greatly to your overall score. Most people probably don't even care about score, I reckon, but I think the point of the game is to expand your dynasty as much as possible. So in that regard, having your distant cousin on the throne of some distant land benefits you.
Sadly, aside from score, there is no benefit though aside from a +5 relations boost.
That event chain is hilarious. I found out about it when I was looking through the opinion modifiers, and saw one called "slut_seductress".until he finally had a bastard with some slut (literally, that's what the pop-up said), so I had enough and assassinated him at all costs.
Re. dynasty members elsewhere, don't forget they can become allies, if they ever manage to become independent.