The Wehrmacht News & World Report

[Surt]

Hmm wonder if there also is a defence plan against the Swiss, operation cheesy?

[KLorberau]

Great update for the wonderful morale booster for all of the Wehrmacht. And finally a great Sturmkitten added to the ranks. Looking forward to next issue...as always...

PS....5th Infantrie seem like whiners to me....Tell them to shape up or send them to the Eastern Front is what I say!!

[Alfred Packer]

Apr 1939 (pdf)

In This Issue:
- Mobilizations!
- Clean Automobiles!
- A Destroyer!
- Strained Muscles!
- Sturmkittens!

[Alfred Packer]

Great update for the wonderful morale booster for all of the Wehrmacht. And finally a great Sturmkitten added to the ranks. Looking forward to next issue...as always...

PS....5th Infantrie seem like whiners to me....Tell them to shape up or send them to the Eastern Front is what I say!!

The wait is over! And yeah, someone should create an East Front just so we can punish miscreants like 5ID

Hmm wonder if there also is a defence plan against the Swiss, operation cheesy?

There is now!

Paul looks like a women...

Also, finally a True and Worthy Sturmkitten!

Well, he had to borrow his ski duds since he didn't have any civilian ones and also I don't always look close enough at the pictures I use

poor Martin, the job of a journalist dedicated to the truth is never easy.

Stuyvesant seems to have covered most of the gems, but I'm glad (actually no I'm not) that the mysterious nun spends the winter inside rather than freezing to death.

And ... all those nasty neighbours with their highly aggressive schemes to invade ...

I know, poor Germany beset on all sides by the Forces of Evil
Speaking of the nun...

It's been a bit of a wait, but it was well worth it! Paul Weiss's inane comment "You can tell I am an expert now because I use technical skiing terms"; Operation Broken Neck (surely it's just conjecture, a simple what-if scenario, in case the ever-aggressive Czechs invade the peace-loving German Empire), Lt. zur See Ritter's mindblowing comparison between civil war victims and fans of losing football teams, and of course General Ott's encounters with Kapitan Von Trapp and the mysterious singing nun/governess. The icing on the cake was editor Oberst Werner's heartfelt apology to 5. Division ("Since I've been ordered to do so:").

It all adds up to a lot of loveliness.

Thank you, I'm glad 1939 got off to such a smashing start...hopefully the loveliness continues!

Nice maps and another great Sturmkitten! Meow heil!

Thanks! I'm really pleased with how the maps have come out myself and good luck in the Army, thanks for reading!

[jlin512]

wow, great aar. I love how funny the whole thing is and the whole newspaper aar idea. Really creative!

[loki100]

its good that Paul is still feeding top secret information to 'Rachel', seems I am the only one vaguely suspicious that even for Paul, this is not a bright move (unlike those nice gleaming headlights). Karl's self assessments remain stunningly optimistic, when it seems his rise has more to do with Gretchen in any case?

I warm a bit to the nun ... she seems to be the greatest threat to the Third Reich now

& that is a rather cute wee moggy ... & Martin seems a wee bit keen on the war starting (not many would be able to describe Hitler as calm and level headed)

[Stuyvesant]

I warm a bit to the nun ... she seems to be the greatest threat to the Third Reich now

Oh crap. If a singing nun is all that stands between the might of the Wehrmacht and the Free World... I'll start packing my bags now.

Much good stuff about the evil intentions of the Allies and their lackeys, as well as the purely peaceful and benevolent intentions of the Reich, but the highlight for me is General Ott's souring on Kapitan Von Trapp's nanny. The grumbling about having to perform impromptu dances and suffering through unending renditions of 'A few of my favorite things' was fantastic.

[Murmurandus]

"Doe! A deer, a female deer!" is now stuck in my head thankyouverymuchihopeyoudieandrotinhell!

[Alfred Packer]

wow, great aar. I love how funny the whole thing is and the whole newspaper aar idea. Really creative!

Thank you! I'm glad you've enjoyed it so far!

its good that Paul is still feeding top secret information to 'Rachel', seems I am the only one vaguely suspicious that even for Paul, this is not a bright move (unlike those nice gleaming headlights). Karl's self assessments remain stunningly optimistic, when it seems his rise has more to do with Gretchen in any case?

I warm a bit to the nun ... she seems to be the greatest threat to the Third Reich now

& that is a rather cute wee moggy ... & Martin seems a wee bit keen on the war starting (not many would be able to describe Hitler as calm and level headed)

Karl has a rather grand opinion of himself and as for Martin, really, how much more suffering can the Reich endure from those lousy Imperialists and Bullies!

Oh crap. If a singing nun is all that stands between the might of the Wehrmacht and the Free World... I'll start packing my bags now.

Much good stuff about the evil intentions of the Allies and their lackeys, as well as the purely peaceful and benevolent intentions of the Reich, but the highlight for me is General Ott's souring on Kapitan Von Trapp's nanny. The grumbling about having to perform impromptu dances and suffering through unending renditions of 'A few of my favorite things' was fantastic.

Thanks. I've been really happy with Ott's little sub-plot.

"Doe! A deer, a female deer!" is now stuck in my head thankyouverymuchihopeyoudieandrotinhell!

And my evil scheme has come to fruition!

[Alfred Packer]

Jul 1939 (pdf)

In This Issue:
- Train Routes!
- Holes!
- New Planes!
- Sturmkittens!

[loki100]

Paul does seem to have a rather inflated opinion of his sex appeal (maybe its all those ditches he is so used to digging himself into?) but Erich seems a rare voice of sanity among your contributors, & Eugen has definitely been affected by just one nun so its good you are not planning a war with the Pope really (just the Royal Navy)

[Saithis]

That railway route is absolutely incredible.

[Surt]

That railway route is absolutely incredible.

Yes, one wonders (again) why Poland didn't just accept it, or maybe the German engineer who planned mistook it for a rollercoaster.

[KLorberau]

Excellent updates as always.......How dare the Poles................and French.............and English..........to "threaten" peaceful Germany. And now they all mobilize for war while Germany tries to just build a little railroad to Koningsberg? How dare the Poles amass thousands, ........tens of thousands........and maybe even hundreds of thousands of Cavalry on the borders of the Reich....Guess the Wehrmach will have to bring them into the "modern age" by showing them the power of the Panzerarmees.......

Oh.........and both Sturmkittens are very nice looking...........much better than bunnies....or rabbits...or whatever............Keep em coming!!

[Murmurandus]

I fear Maria to be an Evöl Communistist Spy... :ja:

[Stuyvesant]

Methinks Paul wants to have his hands free to 'fraternize' with the soon to be completely-peacefully-subjected womenfolk in Poland and France, who will of course welcome the liberators from the Wehrmacht with open... arms...

Remember: it's not the people who hate the Germans, it's just their horrible Imperialist rulers, who are lacking the enlightenment Germany's Führer has. Once the rulers are brought down, all the people can live in perfect harmony and contentment. With nary a jackboot involved. Except perhaps Paul's, around which undoubtedly assorted Polish and French ladies will lay swooning.

Generall Ott is having one rude awakening after another, isn't he? First he has to abandon his Chinese troops, then he's sent to Austria, then he learns the man he holds in such esteem has proposed to the singing-'n'-dancing nun... And pretty soon he's going to find out that, yes, his Austrian 'boys' are going to die in sizeable numbers, either at the hands of the Yugoslavs, or the Western Allies, or - sooner or later - the hungry maw of the Red Bear. Such a life of disappointment.

[Alfred Packer]

Methinks Paul wants to have his hands free to 'fraternize' with the soon to be completely-peacefully-subjected womenfolk in Poland and France, who will of course welcome the liberators from the Wehrmacht with open... arms...

Remember: it's not the people who hate the Germans, it's just their horrible Imperialist rulers, who are lacking the enlightenment Germany's Führer has. Once the rulers are brought down, all the people can live in perfect harmony and contentment. With nary a jackboot involved. Except perhaps Paul's, around which undoubtedly assorted Polish and French ladies will lay swooning.

Generall Ott is having one rude awakening after another, isn't he? First he has to abandon his Chinese troops, then he's sent to Austria, then he learns the man he holds in such esteem has proposed to the singing-'n'-dancing nun... And pretty soon he's going to find out that, yes, his Austrian 'boys' are going to die in sizeable numbers, either at the hands of the Yugoslavs, or the Western Allies, or - sooner or later - the hungry maw of the Red Bear. Such a life of disappointment.

Ott has had a rather rough time of it! Hopefully things can settle down for him now that he's free of the vonTrapps! As for Paul, well, war hasn't been as exciting or exotic as he hoped...so far.

And the Wehrmacht: A Global Force For Peace!

I fear Maria to be an Evöl Communistist Spy... :ja:

Well, she's certainly evil!

Excellent updates as always.......How dare the Poles................and French.............and English..........to "threaten" peaceful Germany. And now they all mobilize for war while Germany tries to just build a little railroad to Koningsberg? How dare the Poles amass thousands, ........tens of thousands........and maybe even hundreds of thousands of Cavalry on the borders of the Reich....Guess the Wehrmach will have to bring them into the "modern age" by showing them the power of the Panzerarmees.......

Oh.........and both Sturmkittens are very nice looking...........much better than bunnies....or rabbits...or whatever............Keep em coming!!

Those sneaky Poles are always a danger to the peaceful Reich. And thanks...I don't think there are many (any?) more non-feline Sturmkittens.

Yes, one wonders (again) why Poland didn't just accept it, or maybe the German engineer who planned mistook it for a rollercoaster.

That railway route is absolutely incredible.

Well, the engineers wanted their passengers to enjoy the senic beauty of Poland, so even this nice compliment gets twisted into 'naked aggression' by the Western Bullies!

Paul does seem to have a rather inflated opinion of his sex appeal (maybe its all those ditches he is so used to digging himself into?) but Erich seems a rare voice of sanity among your contributors, & Eugen has definitely been affected by just one nun so its good you are not planning a war with the Pope really (just the Royal Navy)

Well, Paul's probably got some nice muscles going after all that digging too! Erich is the sanest of the lot, which is something of a shame.

[Alfred Packer]

Oct 1939 (pdf)

In This Issue:

- War!
- Naval Confusion!
- That Darned Nun!
- Passive-Aggressive Poland!
- Sturmkittens!

[loki100]

is Karl, perchance, hinting at a crucial, & less than glorious, role for himself in the naval disaster? Tis good to see Eugen has his mind focussed on the real business, but is it such a good idea to let the singing Nun have the run of the Reich?

bit sneaky of the Poles to surrender before you were ready for them to surrender ... quite right to insist that these things should be done in their proper order

[Stuyvesant]

Informative as always, but I believe I spotted a typo in the discussion of the Scandinavian countries. Surely the Reich is not contempleting 'invading' them, but rather is making plans to provide much-needed protection against Imperialist aggression, at the behest of the host countries, and only if truly needed in the direst of circumstances? Other than that, everything seems to be spot-on.

Enjoyed Paul's performance and his critiquing of Spam (hey! I lived in Minnesota for 5 years! There's an actual Spam museum in Austin, MN!). And Lt. Rohman's comparison to the Valkyries. But not quite. And how strafing hundreds of soldiers doesn't count.

I'm a little bit disappointed that Lt. Schtill didn't manage to refer to the rhapsodic qualities of his formerly-Czech brothers in arms, but you can't always get what you want, I realize. Especially if the thing you want is a cringe-inducing bad pun - those need to be strictly rationed.

Kapt. Lt. Ritter is definitely channeling the friendly, forgive-and-forget, let's all live in peace attitude that pervades in the Wehrmacht News & World Report, as well as the peace-loving Reich at large. He's a fine specimen and a stand-out Kriegsmarine officer, who'll go far, I'm sure. Yes, let's put the whole business behind us.

Anyway, if there are no witnesses left alive, then how could there be any more punishment meted out anyhow? I think the anonymous captain is quite safe.