The Historic Inevitabilty of Epic Failure

[PrawnStar]

Introduction

So here we are again with the start of another PrawnStar AAR. I’m playing England (with tag hop to Great Britain) and the challenge this time is to see how well I can do at a ‘no cheese’ World Conquest while staying under the BB limit. By no cheese, I mean no deliberate PUs, cored vassal release, HRE inheritance or ahistorical tag hops. If you see anything you think is cheesy as opposed to cunning call me out on it. This one is DW5.1 1399 start on Very Hard with Lucky nations to Random. Other than that no mods, tweaks or changes from vanilla. Usual house rules such as no declaring war while I have troops in the target’s territory.

If you’re new to reading my stuff it’s usually reasonably detailed game play reporting focused on trying to do something on the edge of what’s possible. Shout if you want any particular detail or have questions and I’ll do my best to answer. Please be aware update schedules may be slower than my previous 3 - 4 updates a week as I now have a lot more demanding job.

I’ve played a test game and fell a long way short. Hopefully I’ll do better this time but if I don’t make it I don’t make it.

[PrawnStar]

Chapter One

I’m not going to show you England’s start position. It’s in the usual place with Europe off to one side. There are a couple of interesting points though…



This is the optimum starting mission. The Conquest CB is 25% infamy for annexation so four OPMs can be taken out for 8BB with immediate cores to follow. In itself that’s a pretty good deal but there’s another benefit. The first Irish OPM should be possible to knock out in a matter of months so England can start earning BB fast - every month without BB to burn is a month wasted.



The King is a diplo 4 muppet and the best available diplomat is only 2 star. I’ve poor cultural tradition so I’ll wait until I’ve seen what turns up in a year’s time before trying to recruit better. France is the main near term target. England starts with 5 cores on the mainland and there’s a mission to give cores on all of Northern France. Of course Burgundy, Castile and Portugal all need stopping before they hit their stride colonising or the BB cost of defeating them goes through the roof.



Opening moves include raising some more infantry, moving the troops around London over to Dublin and guaranteeing Granada. Three days in…



Time to knock Castile around a bit, although I intend to ignore them for the first couple of years.

Late November brings a DOW on Tyrone using the cheap Conquest CB. I work my way around Ireland in the next couple of years.

Tyrone is annexed April 1400 to start the BB burn process. Leinster’s DOWed in the summer and annexed in early 1401.

14th October 1400



It’s Munster’s turn for war in April 1401. Magistrates finally climb over three so I can take the very useful ‘Florentine’ cultural decision.



Munster falls in December 1401 and Connaught is DOWed bringing in Brittany - some thought needed here as it’s 4BB to vassalise Brittany and they may be useful against France…

The war with Castile turns interesting in Spring 1402 as my troops land in Iberia (18k vs. Castile’s 32k). After inconclusive skirmishing I up the ante successfully calling my allies to war; Aragon and Portugal. Connaught finally falls in June 1403; Brittany is white peaced shortly after. I need the troops against Castile.



Henry IV dies that autumn fighting in northern Castile. His son is a point better on the diplo stat and a pretty good looking general!



Who da man?



Castile’s in a spot of bother here. By early 1406 Aragon has peaced out but most of Castile is under siege and BB has dropped to under three so I’m looking at options…



Tunisia joins Granada and Portugal takes the chance to bail out of the war with Castile.

1407 and things are looking up with Castile and Granada entirely under siege. Provinces fall slowly but steadily throughout the year until July.



Oh.

[nimrod123]

Oh.

shit

LOL, subbed

[tamius23]

I'll be following.

[MizarNX]

A new Prawnstar AAR! I subscribe at the speed of light! Glad to see you're back in section!

What's your mission after the irish one? Vassalize Scotland?

[sactwu]

Can it really be? A new PrawnStar AAR? I'll definitely be following!

[JKNUBZ]

Huzzah, PrawnStar AAR. Following.

What was your opening slider move? centralization?

[DeadeyeDave]

If I may parrot everyone else, OMG AT LAST A PARWNSTAR AAR I CAN FOLOLW FORM TEH BEIGNING HUEHUEHUE

Anyway, I think the whole "Guarantee Granada to immediately pwn Castille" maneuver is pretty cheesy...

[Hydroloc]

Your Golden Horde AAR has inspired me to counter the threat of the Golden Horde and play as Muscovy

[Jstebby]

nice, i love your WC aars. (as in all of them)

[bananafishtoday]

Yaaaaay a new PrawnStar AAR! And in DW! So subbed.

[Avindian]

Hurray! Excited to see your triumphant (?) return

[Athalcor]

Woooot!

[loki100]

squeels with excited joy ... another epic to enjoy, along with excellent gameplay and humour

pity the French got so antsy so early though

[Trinitrotoluen]

Should be interesting to watch to see if it is doable considering your house rules. What will your future government choices look like? Noble Republic early on for the BB burn and later Absolute Monarchy for the Imperialism CB?

The French DOW is not that big a problem though as long as RR stays under control. After taking lands off Castille at 4 BB / province PrawnStar should be happy for the opportunity to gain a few 0 BB provinces from France while his BB score can go down. I've also heard the Occupy Paris mission is nice during that time of the year.

[CivandEUIII]

subbed for this IS PrawnStar we're talking about

[Tanzhang (譚張)]

Good luck PrawnStar... Not that you need it!

[Memento Mori]

A PrawnStar aar? With a chance to subscribe on the first page? The last time somebody had a chance like that was when Ireneusz Jeleń had a 1 on 1 with a Portugese goalkeeper about half an hour ago in some obscure football sparring match... unlike him I will gladly utilise this chance to the fullest

[blsteen]

A PrawnStar aar? With a chance to subscribe on the first page? The last time somebody had a chance like that was when Ireneusz Jeleń had a 1 on 1 with a Portugese goalkeeper about half an hour ago in some obscure football sparring match... unlike him I will gladly utilise this chance to the fullest

Ok then... whistles quitely
Unfortunately since the romp with the Golden Horde completed I have moved properties and left my ornamental white gravel behind. Still I am all in for another PrawnStar battle royale! Even if he has to work it in with the demanding job.

[scholar]

I look forward to seeing you pull this off.