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Thread: The Historic Inevitabilty of Epic Failure

  1. #1
    Alien Space Bat PrawnStar's Avatar
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    The Historic Inevitabilty of Epic Failure



    Introduction


    So here we are again with the start of another PrawnStar AAR. Iím playing England (with tag hop to Great Britain) and the challenge this time is to see how well I can do at a Ďno cheeseí World Conquest while staying under the BB limit. By no cheese, I mean no deliberate PUs, cored vassal release, HRE inheritance or ahistorical tag hops. If you see anything you think is cheesy as opposed to cunning call me out on it. This one is DW5.1 1399 start on Very Hard with Lucky nations to Random. Other than that no mods, tweaks or changes from vanilla. Usual house rules such as no declaring war while I have troops in the targetís territory.

    If youíre new to reading my stuff itís usually reasonably detailed game play reporting focused on trying to do something on the edge of whatís possible. Shout if you want any particular detail or have questions and Iíll do my best to answer. Please be aware update schedules may be slower than my previous 3 - 4 updates a week as I now have a lot more demanding job.

    Iíve played a test game and fell a long way short. Hopefully Iíll do better this time but if I donít make it I donít make it.





    Apparently I need to buy some more gravel.


    My AARs: EU3 England, Golden Horde, France, Iroquois, Castile / EU2 Finland / My Inkwell

    "Sunset Invasion isn't ASB - it's just Prawnstar playing CK2" Athalcor
    "If EU3 had exiled prawn-like aliens he'd be the first one to do a WC with them..." aldriq
    "You were prawn under a conquering stAAR!" Arakhor



  2. #2
    Alien Space Bat PrawnStar's Avatar
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    Chapter One



    Iím not going to show you Englandís start position. Itís in the usual place with Europe off to one side. There are a couple of interesting points thoughÖ



    This is the optimum starting mission. The Conquest CB is 25% infamy for annexation so four OPMs can be taken out for 8BB with immediate cores to follow. In itself thatís a pretty good deal but thereís another benefit. The first Irish OPM should be possible to knock out in a matter of months so England can start earning BB fast - every month without BB to burn is a month wasted.



    The King is a diplo 4 muppet and the best available diplomat is only 2 star. Iíve poor cultural tradition so Iíll wait until Iíve seen what turns up in a yearís time before trying to recruit better. France is the main near term target. England starts with 5 cores on the mainland and thereís a mission to give cores on all of Northern France. Of course Burgundy, Castile and Portugal all need stopping before they hit their stride colonising or the BB cost of defeating them goes through the roof.



    Opening moves include raising some more infantry, moving the troops around London over to Dublin and guaranteeing Granada. Three days inÖ



    Time to knock Castile around a bit, although I intend to ignore them for the first couple of years.

    Late November brings a DOW on Tyrone using the cheap Conquest CB. I work my way around Ireland in the next couple of years.

    Tyrone is annexed April 1400 to start the BB burn process. Leinsterís DOWed in the summer and annexed in early 1401.

    14th October 1400



    Itís Munsterís turn for war in April 1401. Magistrates finally climb over three so I can take the very useful ĎFlorentineí cultural decision.



    Munster falls in December 1401 and Connaught is DOWed bringing in Brittany - some thought needed here as itís 4BB to vassalise Brittany and they may be useful against FranceÖ

    The war with Castile turns interesting in Spring 1402 as my troops land in Iberia (18k vs. Castileís 32k). After inconclusive skirmishing I up the ante successfully calling my allies to war; Aragon and Portugal. Connaught finally falls in June 1403; Brittany is white peaced shortly after. I need the troops against Castile.



    Henry IV dies that autumn fighting in northern Castile. His son is a point better on the diplo stat and a pretty good looking general!



    Who da man?



    Castileís in a spot of bother here. By early 1406 Aragon has peaced out but most of Castile is under siege and BB has dropped to under three so Iím looking at optionsÖ



    Tunisia joins Granada and Portugal takes the chance to bail out of the war with Castile.

    1407 and things are looking up with Castile and Granada entirely under siege. Provinces fall slowly but steadily throughout the year until July.



    Oh.




    Apparently I need to buy some more gravel.


    My AARs: EU3 England, Golden Horde, France, Iroquois, Castile / EU2 Finland / My Inkwell

    "Sunset Invasion isn't ASB - it's just Prawnstar playing CK2" Athalcor
    "If EU3 had exiled prawn-like aliens he'd be the first one to do a WC with them..." aldriq
    "You were prawn under a conquering stAAR!" Arakhor



  3. #3
    General nimrod123's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PrawnStar View Post
    Oh.
    shit

    LOL, subbed

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  5. #5
    First Lieutenant MizarNX's Avatar
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    A new Prawnstar AAR! I subscribe at the speed of light! Glad to see you're back in section!

    What's your mission after the irish one? Vassalize Scotland?

  6. #6
    Grand Duke sactwu's Avatar
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    Can it really be? A new PrawnStar AAR? I'll definitely be following!

  7. #7
    First Lieutenant JKNUBZ's Avatar
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    Huzzah, PrawnStar AAR. Following.

    What was your opening slider move? centralization?

  8. #8
    If I may parrot everyone else, OMG AT LAST A PARWNSTAR AAR I CAN FOLOLW FORM TEH BEIGNING HUEHUEHUE

    Anyway, I think the whole "Guarantee Granada to immediately pwn Castille" maneuver is pretty cheesy...

  9. #9
    Your Golden Horde AAR has inspired me to counter the threat of the Golden Horde and play as Muscovy

  10. #10
    Second Lieutenant Jstebby's Avatar
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    nice, i love your WC aars. (as in all of them)

  11. #11
    Captain bananafishtoday's Avatar
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    Yaaaaay a new PrawnStar AAR! And in DW! So subbed.
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    People's Commissar of the Navy Demi Moderator Avindian's Avatar
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    Hurray! Excited to see your triumphant (?) return
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  13. #13
    The Guardian of Divergences Athalcor's Avatar
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    Woooot!
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  14. #14
    Field Marshal loki100's Avatar
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    squeels with excited joy ... another epic to enjoy, along with excellent gameplay and humour

    pity the French got so antsy so early though
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  15. #15
    Target of a Coalition Trinitrotoluen's Avatar
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    Should be interesting to watch to see if it is doable considering your house rules. What will your future government choices look like? Noble Republic early on for the BB burn and later Absolute Monarchy for the Imperialism CB?

    The French DOW is not that big a problem though as long as RR stays under control. After taking lands off Castille at 4 BB / province PrawnStar should be happy for the opportunity to gain a few 0 BB provinces from France while his BB score can go down. I've also heard the Occupy Paris mission is nice during that time of the year.
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  16. #16
    Modern Psycho-General CivandEUIII's Avatar
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    subbed for this IS PrawnStar we're talking about

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  17. #17
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  18. #18
    Colonel Memento Mori's Avatar
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    A PrawnStar aar? With a chance to subscribe on the first page? The last time somebody had a chance like that was when Ireneusz Jeleń had a 1 on 1 with a Portugese goalkeeper about half an hour ago in some obscure football sparring match... unlike him I will gladly utilise this chance to the fullest

  19. #19
    Field Marshal blsteen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Memento Mori View Post
    A PrawnStar aar? With a chance to subscribe on the first page? The last time somebody had a chance like that was when Ireneusz Jeleń had a 1 on 1 with a Portugese goalkeeper about half an hour ago in some obscure football sparring match... unlike him I will gladly utilise this chance to the fullest
    Ok then... whistles quitely
    Unfortunately since the romp with the Golden Horde completed I have moved properties and left my ornamental white gravel behind. Still I am all in for another PrawnStar battle royale! Even if he has to work it in with the demanding job.
    I was Sir blsteen, Knight of the Eastern West... in :One Last HurRAAh: A Milanese Empire Interactive AAR:

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  20. #20
    Lt. General scholar's Avatar
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    I look forward to seeing you pull this off.

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