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Some erroneous history books cite the beginnings of the Western Schism as tracing back to the Babylonian Captivity of the Papacy in Avignon. But serious medievalists know that this simply isn't true.

The Western Schism, better known as the Great Schism to End All Schisms, started in 1077. Philippe Capet the Great of France, having garnered massive prestige by crushing the Dukes of Aquitaine and Toulouse, along with the creation of several new duchies, initiated the schism by creating an anti-Pope in opposition to Rome, Pope Hilarious II. When asked by his confessor how he came to such a decision, Philippe is reported to have said, "The Pope was about to ask me to end crown investiture. I can't afford to buy him off, and I can't afford to be excommunicated, so the sensible thing to do is just create an anti-Papacy. I could ask for forgiveness, but considering that the current Pope is a syphilitic hunchback who likes to drink, I figure God will give me a pass on this one." Thus, the most influential event of the Middle Ages occurred with little fanfare.

Philippe's sons had tried to install their candidate onto the throne of Saint Peter, but had ultimately failed. But by the time Philippe's great-grandchildren were running the kingdom, no one had bothered to press the anti-Pope's claim on the Papacy. Having found that it was more lucrative to simply maintain a semi-autonomous Church of France the Capets stopped bothering to interfere in Papal politics. By the time the Black Death hit continental Europe in 1364, the anti-Papacy was in its third century. Some prominent theologians complained that the plague was divine retribution for the schism, but since 80% of Catholicism was in the grip of heresy, no one really cared. The Capets, lured by their own cupidity, maintained the status quo.

By the time Martin Luther (better known to history as Pope Julius XIX) ascended the See of St. Peter, his "reforms" included rules like "No camels are allowed to be bishops" and "Maybe letting women bath is a good idea, so stop spreading that stupid policy about no-bathing." He is, of course, best known for telling Louis XII "Look, you can just have northern Germany if you promise to exterminate the heretics there. I don't really care about your anti-Pope since most of our flock are busy being Cathars and Lollards. Better an anti-Pope in Avignon than some new religion forming in the hinterlands of Germany."
 
Western Muslims are vicious conquerors, destroyers of the lesser christian princes of Iberia, Italy and, once in a while, France.

Eastern Muslims are puny pansies that conquer nothing, except maybe some backwater english duchy recently formed in Acre, or the occasional peaceful nubian emirate.

There's another name for Taifa Kingdoms in CK2: Castille, León, Navarra, Aragon and Barcelona.

If unchecked, the mighty irish will rule the world.

There's nothing more sturdy and firm than a decadent empire in a feudal world.

Mongols won't wage wars agains polish people, going so far as to conquer half HRE and leave three misshaped red blobs in the middle of Russia.

Sweden and Norway where plagued by civil wars during all of the Middle Ages, only to see Denmark ruling Prussia, Finland, parts of Russia and HRE by 1337.

After the norman conquest of England, everyone quickly forgot their frankish heritage and embraced the english culture and language, forgeting forever that they once where french.

The Teutonic Order existed, and consisted of a bunch of separated counties in eastern HRE, that lasted amazing two years before being conquered by some russian bloke.
 
Always check your dungeon when you take over. It's really embarrassing to be in control for a few years, then realize you've had your Mom in prison all that time.

I voluntarily put my mom in the oubliette today. She was regent for awhile and stole from my treasury in the meantime. Frankly, I didn't feel the game sufficiently empowered me in my desire for revenge. Banishment, assassination, jail? Its kinda meh.

If I was a real medieval ruler, I'd have started by pulling out her toenails then....

We should have a Decision to voluntarily start the event chain about torturing prisoners.

:D
After the norman conquest of England, everyone quickly forgot their frankish heritage and embraced the english culture and language, forgeting forever that they once where french.

Historical :(
 
If unchecked, the mighty irish will rule the world.

HA! this is true, my game.. there was an irish king of Scotland/Ireland/Wales/Norway/France and Aragon.

Though this great nation collapsed after I took the bulk of the land , France and all it's troops.
 
That Malta has been the capital of France on numerous occasions and that the history books do not recount this.

Also Sardinia is the center of the known universe.......
 
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I learned that in the middle ages, armies could survive indefinately at sea, as long as there at no time where more then 7000 men within 200 nautical miles of each other. Leaving 6999 in boats of the coast of the holy land for years, will in no way affect their ability to fight.
 
1. Putting Your child to a Sunni to be mentored as a spymaster is not the brightest idea.
2. Declaring independence makes the whole world hate You instantly.
3. Breaking up a siege and fleeing takes 5 minutes.

Foldable Catapults that fit snugly on a horse cart, you haven't heard of those?

Someone has being doing warfare the wrong way, I simply couldn't live without my collapsible Siege Towers for easy transportation!
 
Even when dealing with deceitful paranoids, if I look at him or her in the right light I can tell if he or she likes me or hates and the exact reasons why. Regardless, he or she will likely try to kill me and my family.
 
Well, technically (ethnically) speaking, Normans were not French...

...and one drop of african blood means you have to give up your seat on the bus.

The Normans had been in breeding with the locals for generations, not to mention all the 'normans' that William recruited from other bits of france for his invasion force and then gave land to.

The modern conception of french doesn't really apply to anyone in the middle ages.
 
9000 Templars will instantly teleport to any Catholic ruler to receive a holy DOW from a heretic English king. Nothing a little God-given tithing and mercenary staff augmentation can't handle.