What Crusader Kings 2 taught me

**Derahan** · 24-03-2012 18:59

That actully the Byzantine Empire was not Orthodox but it was Bogomilist...always

**Pyriel** · 24-03-2012 19:37

It's a proven fact in history that 80 year old men and women who have been married since they were 16 will quickly turn to homosexuality after fathering and birthing 14 kids.

**TinMann** · 26-03-2012 00:24

Surround yourself with geniuses, but in the name of all that is holy - don't marry one.

**The_Tom** · 26-03-2012 01:50

Manzikert was easily preventable; on the way to Armenia, all Romanos needed to do was gather a few hundred more untrained city youths for his army.

**nicholas2000** · 26-03-2012 04:51

That a firstborn son who embodies all seven virtues will still plan his father's assassination.

**Infantry Grunt** · 26-03-2012 05:05

Originally Posted by nicholas2000

That a firstborn son who embodies all seven virtues will still plan his father's assassination.

Yeah.

**RedRooster81** · 26-03-2012 08:03

Originally Posted by nicholas2000

That a firstborn son who embodies all seven virtues will still plan his father's assassination.

He is humble before the Pope who wants him to install papal investiture once daddy's gone; chaste to his wife; kind to the beggar outside the gate; charitable in involving his brothers in the plot; patient in waiting for just the right moment; diligent in going over the plan five times; and generous to his personal assassins. One man's vices are another man's virtues, my friend. :P

**Christopher0** · 26-03-2012 13:04

That my mother is going to spend the last 20 years of her life trying to kill all my children, whilst being my strongest supporter

**TinMann** · 26-03-2012 23:01

You can't make your primary heir a Bishop (and therefore remove him from successon), but someone else can.

My heir decided to work as an officer of one of my Dukes, who later appointed him as a bishop. Totally hosed me!

**Tengri** · 28-03-2012 00:23

That sometimes, assassinating your grandchildren is the only option you have.

**patrickjohnor** · 28-03-2012 02:48

Contrary to what I learned in school, every tin pot, piss poor, Irish chieftain (sorry, Earl) was actually perfectly positioned to conquer the British Isles and, from there, dominate all of Europe. In reality, we must have just not WANTED it enough.

**Sparticulous** · 28-03-2012 06:25

The best way to rule a large kingdom is to keep a majority of your vassals in prison

**TinMann** · 03-04-2012 18:01

Your wife will still help you manage your demesne from prison.

**SaintEsteban** · 03-04-2012 18:57

Assassinating a pregnant woman WILL make you feel bad... until you inherit her former husband's duchy next generation.

**TinMann** · 09-04-2012 18:53

That sociopathic behavior (plotting to kill your wife, your enemy's offspring, and everyone else for that matter) the best way to get ahead in the middle ages.

On that note, Niccolò Machiavelli's The Prince serves as an excellent instruction manual for the game.

**Pyriel** · 09-04-2012 19:51

The Holy Roman Emperor around 1302-1324 was a mongol until he was burned on the stake by cathar heretics.

**Anthropoid** · 10-04-2012 03:17

Annual seasonal climatic fluctuations are a recent result of global warming, which must have started sometime just before Napoleon's Winter march; during the middle ages it was consistently balmy and temperate throughout Europe and the Near East, and sieging armies could campaign all year round without impediment (even in northern Norway!).

**elfagata** · 11-04-2012 08:04

Always keep some money in store in case you get excommunicated. Powerful king with lots of people hating him + excommunication = trouble...big trouble