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Thread: What Crusader Kings 2 taught me

  1. #161
    Russian dukes apparently died MUCH more often in combat than their western brothers.

  2. #162
    Quote Originally Posted by Earl Uhtred View Post
    I laffed.
    me2 twice hehe

  3. #163
    First Lieutenant TinMann's Avatar
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    The occult can make you hot.

  4. #164
    Modding Paladin RedRooster81's Avatar
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    Templars and Hospitallers are really good at human wave attacks against advanced heathenish fortifications, and if you are on the defensive like it so much they'll do it for free.

  5. #165
    Field Marshal Hootieleece's Avatar
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    You can kill your way to the top.........50 gold and a good spymaster cures the blues.

  6. #166
    Participating in Grand Tournaments makes you gay.

  7. #167
    One Knight on horseback vs 50 peasants with spears is a fair fight.
    What other franchise could make a player nostalgic for consanguinity inheiritance law?

  8. #168
    Byzantophile Daimyō DarthJF's Avatar
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    That all women are cheating sluts, and your one son who appears capable wasn't fathered by you.

    Though I learned this already in CK1.
    "It is because people's minds are not logical and enlightened that the Empire is in disorder. If the country is not properly ruled there will be no end to rebellions. And if anyone wishes to get the knowledge of how to rule it properly he will only find it in books. That is why the publication of books is the beginning of beneficient rule."

    - Tokugawa Ieyasu

  9. #169
    Ask how many Divisions I have! InnocentIII's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pode View Post
    One Knight on horseback vs 50 peasants with spears is a fair fight.
    This sounds about right.

    I learned (playing Lubeck) that the world will be conquered by the guy who can hire the most mercenaries the fastest, and sometimes that's just not you.
    I follow Paradox on Twitter and have Johan's photo on my phone for Twitter messages. I also follow the Pope. When the Pontiff tweets, I see the picture and lately I wonder "yes, but is Johan speaking ex cathedra?"
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  10. #170
    Second Lieutenant Slaunyeh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallfellow View Post
    There's nothing wrong with killing your children as long as you don't get caught.
    Well there s nothing wrong in killing anyone, robbing anyone raping anyone as long you don t get caught, thats how society works even today.

    You re never guilty of your crimes, your guilty of being incompetentand being caught.

    Back on topic:

    If you first son ain t a retard, his brother will

    Its better to be a full craven than half a brave

    The more retarded son is always the one that ask for more

    The moores and spanish never waged war they just swinged their countries. (this happened in my last game, i wen t to look for spain, which was occupied by muslim and to my surprise, africa was accupied by spanishes counts)

    The oldest you get the faggest you get. (all my homosexual characters turn so in tournaments over their 60")
    Exodus 15:3
    The Lord is as a man of war, Almighty is his name.

    The rest is marketing.

  11. #171
    First Lieutenant TinMann's Avatar
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    Keep your enemies close and your brothers closer.

    Except at grand tournaments.

  12. #172
    Modding Paladin RedRooster81's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DarthJF View Post
    That all women are cheating sluts, and your one son who appears capable wasn't fathered by you.

    Though I learned this already in CK1.
    Hey, my kings have plenty of mid-life crises. So it's not just the ladies.

    Remember, primogeniture is a system of inter-generational property transfer to the eldest child of your wife. I like how by 1120 in my game, the Hautevilles have taken on the Arab graphical style in their portraits while still being culturally 'Norman.'

    It is safest to marry your daughters to guys who wander into your court than to the scions of the leading houses of Europe.

    It is considered less tyrannical to execute a duke for causing a ten year civil war than to confiscate all he owns then send him to live with his mother-in-law.

    Sons don't really seem to mind when you execute their fathers, any more than anyone else. Your father-in-law doesn't mind that you imprison his daughter, nor does your son mind when his mother sits in the oubliette with the castle's vermin.

    Your court chaplain shouldn't read books about gnosticism. You'll either have the choice of locking him up or becoming a Cathar yourself.

    If you are master of your domain and had a son and daughter, the only thing you can think to conspire about is killing your significant other.

  13. #173
    Field Marshal naggy's Avatar
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    No one gets angry for traveling hundreds of miles only to find the tournament got cancelled.

    Once you have a particular nickname, nothing you do will change it.

    The Turkish custom of hunting down and killing/imprisoning all brothers, nephews, uncles, people who might look like a family member, etc doesn't seem to have been such a bad idea.

    The proper period of mourning in the Middle Ages was 12.3 nanoseconds.

  14. #174
    First Lieutenant TinMann's Avatar
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    Be prepared, because before your recently deceased king's body hits the floor, many vassals will revolt.

    Also, the split second your vassal dies in prison, chances are his son will revolt against you. Even though he has even less of a chance of success as his father, that doesn't concern him.

    (As a side note, perhaps a significant 'consolidation' delay might make this process a little more random and less predictable.)

  15. #175
    Second Lieutenant khedas's Avatar
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    - Abyssinia was far from being a distant, quasi-mytical land in the Middle Ages. In fact, it only took a few days for a letter sent from Scandinavia to arrive there and from the reply to come back. Travel was so easy and safe that many Abyssinians took important positions in European Kingdoms (like Chancellor of France), without any problems whatsoever.

    - Unlike what History books say, the Iberian Kingdoms were not in a dominant military position in 1066. In fact, they would barely last a decade against the muslims.

    - In the XVth century, it was perfectly acceptable for Bishops and Court Chaplains to be officially married.

    - The Great City of Constantinople didn't really had 1000 towers nor three rings of walls. In fact, it could be captured by a siege of a few thousand men.

    - If you don't let your son marry, he'll wed a random woman that would not apper in your lists. And she'll be better at stewardship or intrigue than most well-educated princesses (or other lords, for that matter)

  16. #176
    General James_Manring's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pode View Post
    One Knight on horseback vs 50 peasants with spears is a fair fight.
    OT: Are you sure you learned this from CK2 and not from M&B? Some decent armor and a horse would allow me to take on 100 peasants in M&B if I had a weapon long enough to reach out and nick them first. I have a computer that can handle it so I upped the battle sizes to 1000 in that game to make it interesting. Fighting in the field made army sizes actually count, but sieges were ridiculous.

  17. #177
    Regent-Custodian of the Light riknap's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TinMann View Post
    Immaculate conception still happens. Just grant land to a 70-year old celibate person and wait.
    yes, this!
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  18. #178
    Your Muslim prisoners from Holy Wars will like you more than any of your uncles.
    Carrying capacity of ships grew tenfold sometimes between the end of CK2 timeline and the beginning of EU3 timeline.
    You can change local culture by bringing your countrymen, but they will adapt to the local religion.

  19. #179
    Second Lieutenant JackTheRipper21's Avatar
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    To kill an infidel is not murder it is the path to heaven! err wait... maybe that was Kingdom of Heaven

  20. #180
    First Lieutenant TinMann's Avatar
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    Yes, my marriages are everyone's concern. Every time, baby.

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