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Thread: What Crusader Kings 2 taught me

  1. #1
    First Lieutenant skinkyskating's Avatar
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    What Crusader Kings 2 taught me

    Just list what this game has taught you

    Playing ck2 I learned that a psychopath can become very successful. As Iroslav I was able to unify Novgorod and Kiev by killing my first son with the help of my wife (spymaster).
    Dear friend, for me the whole of philosophy is summed up in truth at any cost.
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    It is far better to grasp the universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring.
    -Carl Sagan

  2. #2
    Field Marshal Moltke's Avatar

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    An attractive Polish lunatic makes a pretty decent bride.

  3. #3
    Never, ever bring an envious Irish countess to your home.

  4. #4
    Waging a war against an alliance of pagan rulers gets ugly fast.

  5. #5
    Don't marry your Swedish queen off to the homosexual Duke of Västergötland if you want her to have any kids.

  6. #6
    Your oldest son is always a douche, and will stop at nothing to secure his spot as heir.

    It's really not necessary to kill off all my sons/daughters and grandkids, Jesus.

  7. #7
    If a king dies nine days into his reign, it's probably not a coincidence.

    Also, don't trust your brother-in-law.

  8. #8
    Corporal Tryggen's Avatar
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    Some nobles find dwarfs more attractive then others.

  9. #9
    Field Marshal naggy's Avatar
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    Your eldest son will find the seven deadly sins to be a checklist.

  10. #10
    Tax payers don't mind you taking their money for a wedding even if the person being married is the son that will never accumulate to anything.

  11. #11
    If you bring your anti-pope on a crusade with you, you can become the richest man in Europe.

  12. #12
    When you conquer England as Harold of Norway or William of Normandy, through out what happened historically (3 months , lol) and go after everrrrryyyyytttthhhhiiinnnngggg ...

    It will probably take about 3 years to do it, but it will make your occupation a whole lot easier.
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  13. #13
    That its totally okay to sleep with your daughter in law.

  14. #14
    Corporal DaEvilNome's Avatar
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    The Norse Irish Horde is a force to be feared.

  15. #15
    Pagans are much more difficult to fight than in EU.

  16. #16
    Colonel Rambo's Avatar
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    Your entire family hates you and wants to kill you, even your 2 year old son/brother.
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  17. #17
    Every 4 days 1400 angry peasents will lead an uprising from the same city.

  18. #18
    Every King is King Henry VIII.
    While some new Kings worked hard at goals like securing a place in heaven, or becoming famous, nearly all the more established Kings passed their time killing spouses. Then remarrying, then killing the spouse again.

  19. #19
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    10 danish brothers lead to two decades of civil war ....

  20. #20
    Forefather Earl Uhtred's Avatar
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    A gaggle of 6 peasant levies will interpret their call out as orders to perform a frontal charge against the enemy siege lines at 1:400 odds.

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