thanks guys for previous help.
another question, how do you change culture?
Once an adult, a character can't change culture, except for the special event which turns Normans and Saxons English, and the decision to adopt one's liege's culture. The best way to change a dynasty's culture is to have your heir educated by someone of the culture to which you want it to convert.
And I have several sons, do i give pretenders one county? Or make them bishops? Also how do I that?
To give them counties, go to their diplomatic menu and select "give landed title" or something like that. To make them bishops, start off by granting them temples, then you can give them counties and duchies - they'll become prince-bishops and things.
As far as I know, it depends on what type of other holdings you have (your MAIN holding). If you give a city to a baron/count he would get the same penalty. If you give a city to someone who doesn't own anything else, they just become a major, without the wrong-holder penalty.
I think.
You think correctly.