Answering a few questions from the last 2 pages or so...
Are training grounds worth building? or should I just build more troops into my castles?
They're worth it if you already have a considerable number of troops of the type that the training grounds refers to.
I find training grounds are good if you go to war often and/or already have large(ish) levies in that province. You can make war with more troops more often, which is quite good for the cheapish prices they start at. (Due to the morale bonus, those troops probably also last longer in a fight, but I haven't really paid attention).
Playing multiplayer. I'm Leon and my friend is Ireland. If I send him a gift will he receive the actual gold or will I just increase my relations with him?
I've assumed the actual gold. You could test this in singleplayer by sending a count 20 gold, checking his character screen before and after? The pope of course sends money, but I've seen my ruler (king) randomly get a couple hundred gold from some random other ruler otherwise too.
(regarding women holding council positions)
Nope; the only position a woman can hold is spymaster (although you will get half of her stats added to yours.)
Clarification: I've only been able to put my wife as spymaster, not any other women. And no other positions. The exception for this is if the regent for a child ruler is a women (usually/always? queen mother), they can be chancellor or spymaster.
Im playing a Leon game and collecting king titles. Ive married a princess of Navarra with a inheritable claim to the kingdom of Navarra so that my kid could later claim the throne. King dies but his son doesnt get the claim. What gives? The kid got the claim to Galatia and that is also a titular kingdom. Im confused.
And my own question: how to best spread culture (in an unmodded game)? Gathered bits and pieces, like to just get a culture to appear in a province without a neighbouring one having the culture requires that the religion should be different from the desired one, but they'll spread to neighbouring ones if the ruler is the right culture? For the record, I'm playing (all landed nobels are) Norman Sicily (and conquering Africa, hopefully eventuall the Eastern Mediterranean), so far I've gotten events for Girgenti and Cyreneica, it's spread to 1 neighbouring province from each. How could I spread it faster to the long African (kingdom) coast, and how could I get it to the Italian mainland? Does it cross the Messina -> Reggio straight?
Because if not, it's gonna be real tricky getting muslims to invade Calabria or Napoli, now that I beat them back once already (and converted the provinces to Catholic). Unless them being Orthodox is enough (even then I'd have to get some orthodox vassals, have them convert it, then take the lands back and wait for the event before converting them to catholic)?
I guess part of the answer to "spread it faster" is "don't convert all the provinces to catholic right away", but any help on the rest?