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Loki -- started reading this the other day. I'm dreadfully slow, so I'm not yet caught up, even though you're not past the first page. :blush: But it looks really interesting!

Haven't seen a communist yet. They must be there, just lurking. They will become apparent. ;)

Renss
 
Haven't seen a communist yet. They must be there, just lurking. They will become apparent. ;)

Renss
Hi Renss, I'm not so sure about that. :) I mean, communism is something like 'The state shall control all means of production', right (yes, I realize that's a gross simplification, but for argument's sake...)? First off, calling the Earl's 'administration' (such as it is) a state seems like a misnomer, second, and more importantly, it appears that the Earl's realm is utterly lacking in any kind of means of production. I don't think producing offspring counts. ;)
 
I mean, communism is something like 'The state shall control all means of production'

The Workers, Stuyvesant, the Workers. I think its fair to say that the countess shan't be nationalising her means of production anytime soon!
 
The Workers, Stuyvesant, the Workers. I think its fair to say that the countess shan't be nationalising her means of production anytime soon!

Whoops! I thought I recalled that communism was the intermediary stage before the true paradise of socialism. Seems that not only did I get the two stages mixed up, I miserably failed in the basic description as well (though, as a face-saving measure, I'll say that - according to Wikipedia - it could be said that I was thinking of Leninism, with the vanguard party administering the state on behalf of the workers).

Really, I should just take the whole post down before Loki spots it, or he'll never take any of my comments seriously anymore.

Anyway, your explanation makes it even clearer that communism seems highly unlikely in the remote wastelands that constitutes the Earl's demesne. ;)
 
I must say that this trend in your AARs is very worrying – perfectly innocent and edible items of food end up being used as murderous weapons. I hope you don't work in the catering industry :eek:

Anyway, your explanation makes it even clearer that communism seems highly unlikely in the remote wastelands that constitutes the Earl's demesne. ;)

Or as I've seen so succinctly put in this forum many times: in feudal Scotland it's your count that votes...
 
Good stuff, liking the Ming reference. Thus Mael truly is greatly proficient in wielding a polearm, you'd think that such proficiency would rather scare Rab into no longer assaulting the poor Earl with food each summer at the fair! This marriage between Elspeth and Malcolm looks promising.

ah Rab is long gone to the gallows I'm afraid, but Elspeth and Malcolm is a dramatic mix to be honest

More of a Ming/Burning Down the Houses hybrid cross-reference, but still appreciated. :)

It seems the Earl is successful in spreading his fame beyond his own demesne. Getting invited to parties, blackmailing nobles the next province over, fabricating claims, marrying the King to a lunatic... Why, I would almost think the Earl is actually quite the achiever (besides his obvious achievements when it comes to family enlargement)! And we're still only ten years into the game! The possibilities are endless! Although, to be fair, that can go both ways...

In the next post, I'll show how to double your fief while doing absolutely nothing except get a few of your peasants massacred

Loki -- started reading this the other day. I'm dreadfully slow, so I'm not yet caught up, even though you're not past the first page. :blush: But it looks really interesting!

Haven't seen a communist yet. They must be there, just lurking. They will become apparent. ;)

Renss

Good to see you still around. The big challenge in this one is to keep a certain rather demonic character from making a reappearance to be honest. But the urge to yet another Soviet HOI3 AAR is always there ... unless I do one using Revolution under Siege first

Hi Renss, I'm not so sure about that. :) I mean, communism is something like 'The state shall control all means of production', right (yes, I realize that's a gross simplification, but for argument's sake...)? First off, calling the Earl's 'administration' (such as it is) a state seems like a misnomer, second, and more importantly, it appears that the Earl's realm is utterly lacking in any kind of means of production. I don't think producing offspring counts. ;)

the key to Glasgow in this game is there is no production, except of very unhealthy food stuffs ... we will nonetheless spread far and wide (mainly due to obesity caused by the diet)

The Workers, Stuyvesant, the Workers. I think its fair to say that the countess shan't be nationalising her means of production anytime soon!

nope, she's already a national treasure :cool:

Another little one running around? Good Lord. There'll be more children than proper Courtiers if this pace keeps up!

with the new patch (i've just made the change with no problems), there are people complaining about not having enough courteriers ... well I've got them stocked up for generations to come

Whoops! I thought I recalled that communism was the intermediary stage before the true paradise of socialism. Seems that not only did I get the two stages mixed up, I miserably failed in the basic description as well (though, as a face-saving measure, I'll say that - according to Wikipedia - it could be said that I was thinking of Leninism, with the vanguard party administering the state on behalf of the workers).

Really, I should just take the whole post down before Loki spots it, or he'll never take any of my comments seriously anymore.

Anyway, your explanation makes it even clearer that communism seems highly unlikely in the remote wastelands that constitutes the Earl's demesne. ;)

well there is a wee spot on the south of the Clyde where there maybe more than a few of them in years to come

I must say that this trend in your AARs is very worrying – perfectly innocent and edible items of food end up being used as murderous weapons. I hope you don't work in the catering industry :eek:

Or as I've seen so succinctly put in this forum many times: in feudal Scotland it's your count that votes...

It all started with a well deployed carrot in a Victoria 2 AAR, since then I seem to have a thing about the use of vegetables as an offensive weapon
 
1076-1080, success comes to the languid and other tales



Now where were we, oh yes 1076, I remember it well

you can't even remember your own name

shut up, now I'm gonna teach the kids the merits of patience ...

oh can't we play poker instead?

ah yes that was the Earl's mellow yellow period, so calm and cool he was.

Impressive.

I mean he really looked after the kids



and he was pretty nice to Eric ... for the moment



not for long though



and then King Malcolm, spurred on by the idiot Elspeth actually accepted the validity of his fake claim to Galloway



we were all called up

which of course went really well



but grandfather, how did you survive

Oh ... I was off getting the messages at the time [1]

but did the earl panic ... not a bit, calm as you like



why should the war stop him having a good time



and he packed off another utter nutter into the Royal Family

almost as if he didn't like them?

And Queen Elspeth bumped off Malcolm [2]



leaving Duncan married to a complete psycho

all without him doing a thing



of course we all got massacred again, but he remained so calm



and ended up Earl of Galloway

ok he felt antsy for a while



but got over it



And Eric died, mysterious like



So kids whats the lesson of the day?

Be a lazy sod and it'll all work out fine

right I'm off for a nap

[1] – getting the messages = doing the shopping
[2] – or drove him nuts ... who knows?
 
Possibly, King Malcolm found the only way to relieve himself of his wife's company (sure, the Church frowns on suicide and apparently it sends you to Hell - but to the King, this might have seen like an improvement).

I say, the Earl is actually quite foreward-thinking, as he seems to have adapted the Jane Eyre-esque ideal that a gentleman is one who does not have to sully his hands by doing any actual work (I was going to say 'the ideal of the xth century...', but then I realized that my English Lit education has slipped so far away, that I don't even remember in what century she lived. And I was too lazy to look it up on Wikipedia. I'm sure the Earl would approve).
 
Be a lazy sod and it'll all work out fine

This how every Scot attempts to live their life!

Good to see Mael moving from being pelted near non-stop with deep fried fruit to instead leading his troops quite brilliantly in war. He's proving a wonderful father too, making sure only the best of guardians are appointed to act as role models for his children.
 
Possibly, King Malcolm found the only way to relieve himself of his wife's company (sure, the Church frowns on suicide and apparently it sends you to Hell - but to the King, this might have seen like an improvement).

I say, the Earl is actually quite foreward-thinking, as he seems to have adapted the Jane Eyre-esque ideal that a gentleman is one who does not have to sully his hands by doing any actual work (I was going to say 'the ideal of the xth century...', but then I realized that my English Lit education has slipped so far away, that I don't even remember in what century she lived. And I was too lazy to look it up on Wikipedia. I'm sure the Earl would approve).

I think 18th century ... I skipped that whole chunk of English lit, except the inevitable, and life-scaring, tussle with the tedium of Dickens. But yes the Earl was almost an early exponent of Zen Buddhism or whichever one it is that praises the virtues of inactivity

The Royal Family must have something of a crazy woman fetish. Bizarre, really.

I can hear the poetry being re-written already.

Scots wha hae, wi nutters wed
Scots wham crazies has aften bred
Welcome tae yer marriage bed
Same as the mental house

well it is quite handy that they remove at least some of the loonies and psychos from Glasgow and put them into the Royal family ... couldn't happen these days of course.

I think that gets you the title 'official poet at the indolent court of Earl Mael'

This how every Scot attempts to live their life!

Good to see Mael moving from being pelted near non-stop with deep fried fruit to instead leading his troops quite brilliantly in war. He's proving a wonderful father too, making sure only the best of guardians are appointed to act as role models for his children.

well there are of course some allegations from some inhabitants of Edinburgh that such an approach is maintained to this day in Glasgow?

but yep his war effort consisted of going to where-ever the royal army was and then having a series of slap up meals with his cronies, while his peasant militia kept on getting slaughtered around Glasgow. True military genius
 
1080-1084, stress and man flu don't mix

Oh yes, when he got stressed, my he was easy to annoy



not helped by everyone around him coughing away



even his own daughter



[keep me out of this, I'm busy elsewhere]

while he was trying to concentrate on making more money



then there was that dispute about who should be the steward, my that really stressed him out



and his wife carried on nagging him



she really wanted a bigger title to her name



which of course cost him more of the money he was trying to put aside for his retirement ... as you can imagine their was a lot of greeting [1] and wailing as a result

pass us the paper ... I'm going to sneeze



so that he needed more money



which meant trying to tax us more

and of course the monkey and pig incidents did nothing for his stress levels either



and the non-delivery of the pork chops for one of his feasts set him off



not helped by half the castle falling down



he had a right greet [1] about having to spend that money

Grandfather

yes

was that when you had your builders business

oh aye what with the coughing and stuff the market for healthy foods had dried up ... I also had a stint as the local pork butcher too


and then the Bishop had a right cob on [2] about the quality of the wine



then his man-flu returned



and went

and he was so worried that Rab was turning into a timorous wee beastie [3]



that he decided it would be a good idea to do away with Donald instead ... he really didn't like the name Donald [4], especially as he just would not stop coughing (see above)



So the Earl comes around our deepfried spinach shop and asked us to prepare something tasty for the wee one



[1] – greet – cry
[2] – right cob on – temper tantrum
[3] – timorous wee beastie – in Burns' poem a mouse
[4] – if they both survive, then the second (ie Donald) inherits Galloway. Ok it may have been easier to change my succession laws.
 
I certainly think he made the right choice with regards to the steward, a metal fetishist seems marginally better than anyone known as the numpty! I have to feelf or the Earl though, man flu certainly isn't nice. Good that even when under the weather he still thinks to keep the local economy going, supporting healthy food shops and getting Donald some deep fried spinach, such a good father.
 
I was going to make a joke about Glaswegians needing money and Rangers going into administration but I couldn't come up with a good one, so i'll just leave it at that.

Anyways, the Earl's wife seems to be quite the meddler. King Macbeth died in 1057 - you'd think that so soon after his passing Scottish noblemen would be a bit leery of letting their wives pry their way into court affairs!
 
Wait, they have events involving monkeys in CK2? I'm impressed. :)

The Earl does seem to be going through a rough spell - killing his own offspring seems a bit extreme as an outlet of that stress, though. Especially considering that the little boy might well die before the Earl anyway.
 
4 years of indolent and fruitful inactivity followed by 4 years of hectic stress with no reward... just goes to show the Taoists were right all along...

exactly, all those rumours about hard work being bad for you ... are true after all

I certainly think he made the right choice with regards to the steward, a metal fetishist seems marginally better than anyone known as the numpty! I have to feelf or the Earl though, man flu certainly isn't nice. Good that even when under the weather he still thinks to keep the local economy going, supporting healthy food shops and getting Donald some deep fried spinach, such a good father.

yes he carries on making sure that Donald gets his proper deserts in the next post too ... and the man flu becomes a bit more of a problem

I was going to make a joke about Glaswegians needing money and Rangers going into administration but I couldn't come up with a good one, so i'll just leave it at that.

Anyways, the Earl's wife seems to be quite the meddler. King Macbeth died in 1057 - you'd think that so soon after his passing Scottish noblemen would be a bit leery of letting their wives pry their way into court affairs!

there's a good combination of 'administration' and 'rangers' jokes in Fyregecko's superb Tver AAR. I've been struggling to get it into this one, but that would be unseemly gloating methinks

Wait, they have events involving monkeys in CK2? I'm impressed. :)

The Earl does seem to be going through a rough spell - killing his own offspring seems a bit extreme as an outlet of that stress, though. Especially considering that the little boy might well die before the Earl anyway.

they do indeed. There is also meant to be a 'gates of hell' event chain ... now that would have suited my last CK AAR rather well.

I think you'll find that wee Donald is not going to outlive the Earl
 
1084-1086, one heir too many sends a man to the bottle

oh he became a bad man for the drink, I think it was the failure of the deep-fried spinach to kill Donald that drove him to it



what with the man flu getting worse and all



and we refused to make him some extra deep fried the macaroni pies [1] as he couldn't afford them



Anyway Joan was packed off to Burgundy, I think the plan was for her to buy more wine but she got married instead



Then the bishop announced that giving up the bevvy might be ... well cathartic for the Earl



and then the dispute between his spymasters drove the poor man back to the bottle



which didn't help when he got bladdered at the Duke's annual feast having snuck in his own bottles of buckie [2] to keep him going



Rab grew up and started to fret [3] that Donald would nick half the realm



not that this improved Rab's view of the Earl any



so he was sent off to Porto to bring back some more wine, oh and the wee lassie too



In the meantime Donald got a bit spotty and pasty faced while stuck in the Dungeon



but the Earl wasn't taking any chances of a natural death occuring



Which was pretty well timed



Not that Rab was exactly convinced at the official explanation


[1] – you can buy undeepfried macaroni pies in a well established bakery chain across Scotland, this is obviously unrelated to any public health problems
[2] – buckie --- Buckfast 'wine', strangely not related to wine, nor sold widely in Buckfast but the tipple of choice for the really discerning Scottish drinkers
[3] - worry
 
Very well timed indeed, poor Donald 'naturally' passing away at just the right time for Rab! I like that whilst other foolish rulers are likely busy crusading, the only time a Mael sent anyone abroad was on a booze cruise, it is the Scottish way. Thus Mael has passed away, a reasonable enough ruler on the whole and now we have Rab. I think his cynicism will serve him well.