Chopsticks in the Mist
...In those days did the relatively sane Chiang Kai-shek rule the government of Mighty China, and his most democratic government worked in wondrous ways to restore the majesty of the realm. Biased and partisan though he might be, nobody ever called foreign minister Wang Ching-Wei a crooked plutocrat. They reserved that sobriquet for Tai Li, the Head of Military Intelligence, a man notorious for his greed and loyalty.
"Will this really pass the censors, Master?"
"Certainly, disciple. If you add enough platitudes, the censors' eyes will lose focus and their tiny brains will shut down. Convoluted sentences can work wonders as well. Now, where was I..."
...The Invincible Nationalist Armies of China numbered 48 militia divisions, a few horses, a fascinatingly understrength tank division, a couple of infantrymen, some of the most glorious obsolete planes in existence, and a handful of agéd cruisers. Disdaining the weakness of spirit that had led Japan to study the results of WWI and implement doctrinal, organisational, and equipmental changes to their armed forces, the Invincible Nationalist Armies of China relied on tried and true decades old equipment and doctrines that had led to glorious defeat against
"Equipmental surely isn't a word, Master?"
"It contains multiple syllables, disciple. Nobody will notice."
...With an industry that was a century behind the avant-garde of high-society and the love of the people, there could be no doubt. China, nationalist China, that is, not the traitors of Sinkiang or the Communist rabble, was the most glorious nation on Earth. The only thorn in the side of Chiang Kai-shek was thus the ongoing wars against the traitors and rabble, and the Japanese occupation of Manchuria. And Korea. And Taiwan. And many other places besides.
"Right, disciple. Teach your grandmother to suck eggs, will you?"
...Fortunately, the all-knowing Chiang Kai-shek had a plan. A most excellent plan. He wanted to get rid of Japan. However, there was just one slight problem. Though a Mongol Invasion of Japan had been launched from China many centuries earlier, utilizing the rude ships of the time, in these enlightened days no self-respecting infantryman would ever dream of invading an enemy unless he travel on a modern assault barge, or transport, to be precise. Which technology was currently unknown to China due to the wisdom of the benevolent leadership of the glorious government.
"Nice save, Master.
...To remedy this would take time, and time waits on no man, and no man knows his destiny, and destiny comes to he who dares, and he who dares wins. Chiang Kai-shek dared. In a move of such audacity that Christopher Columbus himself, the first man to discover America after the eunuch admiral Zeng He, copied it from him centuries before Chiang Kai-shek was born, a fitting tribute to the greatness of Chiang Kai-shek, namely, to Go West in order to Go East.
"Learn well, disciple. The censors don't understand irony either."
- Nationalist China
- GC 1936 on Very Hard/Furious
- HOI v1.01
- Fool around in Asia
- And Europe
- Get transport ships before 1948
- Get rid of the Japananese Empire
This is my second game of HOI and I'm not taking it too seriously, to be perfectly honest. Despite a great game-engine, HOI 1.01 has just as many shortcomings as EU2 had at patch level 1.01, and it is currently poor (to put it mildly) at handling weird ahistoric interference by neutral nations that are mainly intended to stay put, provide resources, and roll over when one of the historic major powers come knocking, so expect a ridiculous outcome to this game. Additionally, since this is only my second game, I'm bound to make plenty of mistakes. If I'm very lucky, I'll make enough to lose the game, which would be nice for a change.