Governor General of the Falklands, Sir Roger Goldsworthy
Premier of the United Territories, Theodore Roosevelt,
Please note that the expansion of British control on South America concerns us in the United Territories gravely. As you know, in years past we abided by a policy that originated from one of our elder presidents, James Monroe, which forbade any tolerance of resurging European colonialism in the Americas. The British Empire of that fleeting era was amiable and cooperative in this mutually beneficial doctrine.
We in the United Territories consider the Monroe Doctrine to have continued merit. However, your establishment of a permanent British territory in South America stands opposed to that. Argentina, Chile, Bolivia, Uruguay, and Paraguay, sovereign nations each, have fallen pretty to your opportunistic expansion. This is unacceptable so long as you claim loyalty to the British Empire, which as we have all learned by now has survived the Fall.
There is a measure of hope, though! We understand the state you have created is fully independent, a far cry from the meager imperial backwater outpost you were in 1875. We more than anyone can respect those who have done what was necessary to survive in the wake of the disaster; surely if God condemned your endeavor, he would have smote you alongside the rest of the “Civilized” world. We have no desire to come to blows with you or your people.
Thus, we would like to establish friendly, cooperative relations with your government as soon as you are willing to meet two conditions. First, allow us to send missionaries to aid you in converting the Papist masses of Patagonia and the Andes. Second, declare firmly and clearly your independence from the British government.
We eagerly await your response.