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Thread: Soks to be You - A Sokoto V2 AAR

  1. #381
    Recruit MatPainter's Avatar
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    Wow, you DID beat Britain! Now we just need a World Map to see how the glorious pink has spread all over the globe!

  2. #382
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    You should finish Italy off! Then enact social reform, as political reform is for radical wussies. Long live the Sokot Nation!
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  3. #383
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    A fine update young sir, and good work against those damnable British.

    Quote Originally Posted by morningSIDEr View Post

    Sokoto nothing if not a wonderfully fair and democractic nation. The Conservative party do however share the public's concern that this election was marred by foul play, the Radicals clearly resorting to underhanded tactics so as to cheat their way to over five percent of the vote.
    Scum! Such corruption will not be tolerated in such an enlightened nation!


    Quote Originally Posted by morningSIDEr View Post
    With this peace deal Portugal has been removed from Africa and, far more importantly, Sokoto's font size has increased considerably. In a rare showing of competency Sokoto's cartographers made the intelligent decision to spread some of Sokoto's font over empty portions of the map. Whilst such practice is perhaps slightly underhanded the delighted Prime Minister could not care less. Having become rather excited after viewing Sokoto's font increase in size once again, he is led away to a cold bath in a bid to calm him down.
    A perfectly normal reaction to an extention of one's font size.

    Quote Originally Posted by morningSIDEr View Post

    That nearly four million people now support an Anarcho-Liberal rebellion has in no way influenced the government's decision to now pass this political reform. Instead the government passed this reform due to their desire to desperately cling to power for as long as possible. Uh, instead the government passed this reform due to their desire to ever further democratic freedom within Sokoto.
    Too generous, I feel. Extending the vote franchise? Slipperly slops. Thin end of the wedge. Who knows who might be voting?
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  4. #384
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    On the bright side, at least we know the Sultan is a- *finally recieves bribe from Sokoto* As i was saying the Sultan is a wonderful and fashionably dressed leader who only wants the best for his people. Which is why he left, so the conservatives wouldn't kill- I mean stop him from getting killed by the Anarchist Liberals.
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  5. #385
    General morningSIDEr's Avatar
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    Thank you profusely for the replies!

    Xenophon13 - Perhaps but it need be remembered Prussia is one of Sokoto's closest allies and, as has been shown in Sokoto's dealings with Argentina, Sokoto ever treats her allies with the utmost respect!

    Vaya con Queso - How right you are! Any which dare to block Sokoto's wholly justified expansion and liberation of land need be punished with war!

    alhoward - Exactly so! Alas though the government made a rather shocking mistake regarding the general they appointed to lead the Peruvian campaign, with tragic results.

    Anjwalker - In honesty I rather think it was Britain's AI which defeated itself rather than my defeating Britain!

    loki100 - In honesty the war with Peru was not truly for font reasons but really another selfless act of liberation by Sokoto, Peru's people clearly suffering under independent rule, they are far better served in the tyrannical Sokot Empire! Uh, the enlightened Sokot Empire, that is.

    Quite right however that Sokoto was forced to bow out of war with Britain at a shamefully low warscore. Clearly those voting for the Radical Faction are acting as a fifth column undermining Sokoto's usually brilliant war effort.

    As for Spain's revolt, I'm sure it being launched just as Sokoto began occupying the nation was nothing ore than a coincidence!

    Juan_de_Marco - Thanks for the link, a very interesting read thus far. Considering how woefully I perform against the AI I can only salute your performance with Russia thus far, in very difficult circumstances. I'm just glad that whether working for the Ministry of Truth or the Sokot Army any Kabe remains a noted poet!

    MatPainter - The world map is now here, Sokoto's pink looking as glorious and charming as ever!

    thekinguter - Long live Sokoto indeed! You are quite right, Italy need be polished off as she currently holds land which Sokoto has a strong claim to, Sokoto long since having held a claim to all of the Italian mainland, said claim clearly more valid than that of Italy's itself. True too that reforms of all types are required, well provided said reforms better the lot of the rich. Sokoto's poor are already mollycoddled enough, as this update will show.

    Fyregecko - Thank you for the kind words (yet another bribe is, but of course, en route!). How right you are! The Radicals actions are entirely deplorable. How dare they attempt to corrupt Sokoto's wonderfully fair democracy.

    Alas you are only too right regarding the political reforms the Conservative party is forced to enact, clearly the citizens of Sokoto already enjoy far too much power. It can only be hoped that the Conservative party is not forced to hand over yet more power to those who are so clearly unqualified for such a weighty responsibility.

    MrHouse - You are quite right, the Sultan is a most-*pauses in the vain hope of recieving a bribe himself*-wonderful ruler. Stingy, but a most wonderful ruler.

    Apologies for the long break since the last update (although I remain sure everyone is glad I've refrained from posting my tripe on the forum for over a week!) but I've been growing increasingly nervous as the cup final for my team, Hearts, looms ever closer, this rather putting me off writing. The cup final will be played later today against our fierce derby rivals, Hibs, and I sincerely hope that we can bring the Scottish cup home. It has got to the stage where I'm so nervous about the coming game that I've give up all hope of sleeping tonight hence why I've finally typed up an update (I was very glad to have something to take my mind off the match for a few hours).

    Regardless of what happens in the final, win or lose I'll more than likely celeberate/commiserate to such an extent that I'll likely forget my own name nevermind my forum login details, thus this may well be the last update for a good few days at the very least. I just hope Hearts bring home the cup otherwise I may need begin looking for a home somewhere other than Edinburgh, Hibee colleagues and neighbours likely to prove utterly unbearable should the unthinkable happen.
    Last edited by morningSIDEr; 19-05-2012 at 04:07.
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  6. #386
    General morningSIDEr's Avatar
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    Chapter Thirty One - Staff for Hire


    With the Sokot army still performing at nowhere near an acceptable level, their shameful showing in the war against Britain and the current conflict with Spain understandably continuing to prove a source of acute embarrassment for the government, change need be made. The current war with Peru is a chance for the army to finally recapture some of the brilliance, high casualties, incompetence and glory which has helped make Sokoto's pink clad soldiers mocked the world over. Feared the world over, that is.

    There is however one slight problem. In a shocking error of judgement the government has appointed Sokoto's most competent officer, the gifted General Kanajeji Kabe, to command of the forces in Peru.



    Despite Kabe facing the hugely able General Gamarra, who Peru wisely appointed to the defence of Lima despite his having no defensive ability whatsoever, it seems likely that Sokoto will coast to victory in this war. It sadly unlikely that Kabe, a veteran with countless years of distinguished service within Sokoto's army having served in campaigns against France, Egypt, Italy, the Ottomans, Brazil and Britain amongst many others, will meet with defeat. With greater numbers, better technology, Peru not even having 'iron' breech loading artillery, superior leadership and, most importantly, fashion on Sokoto's side the battle of Lima is a foregone conclusion, Kabe destined to secure victory whilst suffering lamentably few casualties.

    Indeed, as Peru clearly has no chance whatsoever of gaining victory in this battle it would be hugely embarrassing were Sokoto to suffer any casualties at all.



    Oh. Yes, it is highly unlikely Sokoto will suffer any casualties whatsoever whilst fighting Peru.

    Of course, it need also be said that Peru has a strong army which is cleverly utilising terrain which heavily favours their fighting on the defensive, a skilled general leading her forces in Gamarra, his lack of defensive ability clearly a blessing in disguise, and surprisingly advanced weaponary, using as they do iron breech loading artillery made from actual iron. As such a Sokot victory is far from assured in this battle. The goverment quick to realise this, they hurriedly ready the diplomats to beg Peru for peace in the event of a possible Sokot defeat.



    A day later and Sokoto secure a thumping victory over Peru as expected, the government not for one second having doubted Sokoto's chance of success.

    Alas though General Kabe, who gained victory in innumerable battles whilst surviving countless friendly fire attacks from his own troops and repeated instances of backstabbing from Sokot officers jealous of his undoubted ability, is one of Sokoto's few casualties. The great man passing away after suffering a dreadful splinter injury whilst stationed in a Sokot fort lying many miles from the battlefield. It is not for no reason that Sokoto's officers regret having demanded a deep defence system, Sokoto's forts truly deathtraps.

    Whilst the army mourn Kabe's passing, the soldiers surprisingly distraught at the loss of the one competent officer in the army who inexplicably thought suffering high casualties a bad thing, research of 'Steel Breech-loaded Artillery' comes to an end.



    Once again Sokoto's partnership with Argentina in the design of a cannon has proven hugely beneficial. This new artillery piece, made primarily from glass as per Argentina's ingenious design, has thus far greatly exceeded the expectations of both Sokoto's academics and army, the cannon able to fire shells countless miles with a startling accuracy and force. That the cannon usually explodes violently after but one shot, this often causing shocking injuries to all stationed near the piece, is but a small problem.

    Following repeated demands from the army's officers the academics next begin research of a 'Military Staff System'. The officers having long complained that Sokoto's current staff system, which consists of wholly unqualified, idiot young sons of the nobility being given military staff positions, is entirely unsuitable. These unqualified, idiot young sons of the nobility clearly wasted in such menial roles, they are badly required as full generals.

    As the academics begin research of a 'Military Staff System' the government is given the pleasing news that Sokoto's officers have adapted well to some new training.



    Sokoto's officers having begun taking to the battlefield on horseback as this allows for them to more easily flee the field at the first sign of danger. That is, Sokoto's officers having begun taking to the battlefield on horseback as this allows for them to more easily issue orders whilst on the field.

    Research of a 'Military Staff System' comes to an end a few months later.



    Sokoto's officers are delighted by reports from the academics that a revolutionary new military staff system has been developed for Sokoto's army, one which is sure to affirm Sokoto's position as the foremost military power in the world. There is then slight confusion for the officers when they are told that this revolutionary new military staff system consists of giving each soldier a walking stick/staff to aid their marching, the academics having a slightly different idea of what constitutes a military staff.

    The academics next begin researching 'Mechanical Production' following an order from the government. With several rich businessmen, all of them financial supporters of the government, having requested the government consider such technology so that they can further mechanise their factories so as to cut down on the number of common oiks they need employ in order to drive up their profits. Such a request eminently reasonable, the government is more than happy to accede to their wishes.

    The government is left astounded a few months later after peace with Spain is at last agreed.



    In another rare showing of competence Sokoto's cartographers have acted with intelligence, the font size for 'Sokot Spain' having increased quite considerably following the peace deal. The cabinet instantly begin discussing sacking the cartographers as a result, increased font sizes having become rather unwelcome following the Prime Minister's usual reaction to such enlargements.

    There is some troubling news for the government a month later as a pamphlet detailing the plight of the nation's poor gains prominence.



    Naturally the government reject all suggestions of introducing a minimum wage as this pamphlet is filled with nothing but lies, the poor currently enjoying a wonderful life within the Sokot Empire. Benefitting as they do from having access to a fantastic health service, which none can afford, enjoying as they do brilliant and affordable housing, there plenty of empty rundown shacks available for them within Sokoto, working as they do in safe and comfortable conditions, most engaged in poorly paid backbreaking work, all of which sits alongside the great democratic freedom offered to them by Sokoto's government and their being forced to join the army or found colonies in dangerous locations at any given time. Clearly the poor are mollycoddled in Sokoto.

    A few months later, and with Sokoto's mollycoddled poor suprisingly promoting the overthrow of the ruling Conservative party following their rejection of a minimum wage, peace is agreed with Peru.



    The peace deal mercifully brings with it no real increase in Sokoto's font size in the region but instead a slight curving of the font, the once ramrod straight 'Sokot South America' now sadly bent out of shape. Sokoto's Prime Minister is left surprisingly untroubled by this news, explaining as he does to the cabinet that in his experience all that was once proudly straight usually turns a bit floppy given time.
    Last edited by morningSIDEr; 19-05-2012 at 03:46.
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  7. #387
    General morningSIDEr's Avatar
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    1871 to 1881 - An Overview


    To PRICKs,

    You have been hired because we are at our wits end. Usually it is a simple matter for us to fob off the gormless citizens of the Empire when compiling an overview studying the last decade, but unfortunately in this instance things are so bad that we thought it best to hire some professionals so as to make the overview more palatable to the population. Needless to say we require the utmost discretion from your company when working upon this, and be sure to dispose of all of the information we have given to you prior to your publication of the overview.

    Yours,

    The Conservative party.


    The following overview for the years 1871 to 1881 is brought to you by Public Relations and Intelligence Consultants for Kingdoms plc. PRICKs; providing tyrannies the world over with public relations advice since 1820.

    Somehow we have managed to reach the top rank in world standings. Quite how we have achieved this when we have an army inexplicably uninterested in suffering casualties, a population ever on the brink of rebellion and an economy driven by 'wine' and Sokotch whisky sales, both of which are barely fit for human consumption, we as a party do not know.



    Unsurprisingly Sokoto has achieved great success in the last decade, the Empire now ranked as the most powerful nation in the world thanks to her invincible army, remarkably strong economy and the astonishingly high level of prestige she enjoys due to her epic poetry and fashion. With Sokoto at last rightly leading the world, other countries will doubtless hope that she remains unchallenged as foremost power in the world for centuries to come.

    Thank goodness we have continued conquering nations, this the only reason our population continues to rise as citizens are still fleeing the Empire for other countries in record numbers and our health service remains painfully useless.



    The last decade has seen Sokoto's population near double. This a result of having a modern, well funded health service which is free to all (please note that you need pay for all medical treatment received from the Sokot Health Service if poor or of a middle income, only the rich understandably receiving free medical treatment), the continued appeal of Sokoto's wonderfully romantic poetry and ever more land being added to the Empire via liberation and colonisation.

    Our military is in particularly bad shape, they have not managed to suffer an acceptable level of casualties in far too long. The calibre of officer currently being recruited is also simply too high, there not nearly enough bumbling fools joining the army.

    The navy has also been found sorely wanting despite their having performed reasonably well in the recent war against Britain, suffering quite a few sinkings as they did. Despite this the navy was sadly unable to stop Britain blockading our coast which has led to war exhaustion rising to worryingly high levels. Thus we are now hurriedly attempting to build some new ships so as to avoid a repeat of the blockade.




    With the many technological advances made by Sokoto's academics over the last decade, the last of which is the ingenious new military staff system being employed by the army, Sokoto's army has never been stronger. With soldiers suffering casaulties in their droves the army continues to bring glory unbounded to Sokoto.

    Recent additions to the officer corps such as Generals Zamnagawa, Yaji al-Hajj and Usman al-Hajj, all shockingly incompetent officers entirely unfit for command, show that Sokoto has every reason to feel confident that she will remain victorious for years to come, her officers never having been so inept.

    Thanks to the brilliance of Sokot shipbuilding Sokoto's navy remains without victory at sea, her unblemished record of suffering defeat after defeat unsurprisingly causing envy among other navies the world over, no navy able to stand against her mighty uselessness.

    Bribes and coercion alone have kept us in office over the last decade. Due to the shocking rise in the number of people supporting rebellion we have sadly been forced to pass ever more sweeping political reforms in a desperate bid to cling to office. In doing so we have unfortunately handed yet more political power to the common rabble, who are clearly unsuited to such power.



    Sokoto continues to become an ever more free and just nation, numerous pieces of legislation having been enacted in the last decade which give ever more political power to the common man. The Conservative party nobly spearheading this drive towards political freedom for the good of the nation. Such selfless action explaining why they unsurprisingly remain the best supported and most loved political party within the Empire.

    Economically everything remains fine due to the poor paying far more in taxes than the middle class or rich. Thankfully the fools have still not worked out that they are being exploited. Sales of Sokot produced goods such as our alcohol remain surprisingly healthy too, clearly mud based wine tastes better than it sounds. This just as well though as the finance minister has been failing in recent years to find any former foes to lend money to, alas.



    The economy continues to grow rapidly due to Sokoto's ever fair tax system, which ensures that every section of society contributes equally, and ever increasing export sales as Sokot made products have becmoe ever more desired throughout the world. Consumers having learned that any product adorned with a 'Made in Sokoto' logo is a dreadful piece of rubbish. A brilliant piece of work, that is.

    Regarding Sokoto's population there are two matters in particular which are proving worrying. Firstly, people are fleeing the Empire in huge numbers. We are not entirely sure why this is, Sokoto clearly a paradise for all living here. Secondly, the Hausa have now become the largest single minority within the Empire. As we in the Conservative party are predominantly Hausa we know how troubling this second issue is for the future of the nation. We Hausa are usually entirely inept in all that we do, it just a mercy that the Conservative party has proven an exception to this rule.



    In a wonderful development the last decade has witnessed Sokoto's primary culture, that of the Hausa, becoming the largest single minority within the Empire. With the Hausa having been the driving force behind Sokoto's countless victories in the last few decades all within the Empire will doubtless rejoice upon learning that they now make up a majority of the population.

    Technologically we continue to struggle. Were it not for the many academics we have gained via the conquest of far more advanced nations we would be a true backwater. Our education system remains a joke, schools still more alike battlefields than places of learning. Admittedly this has helped improve our army to a degree.



    With continued improvements ever being made to Sokoto's already stupendous education system Sokoto is leading the world when it comes to the field of science and technology, literacy now at the astoundingly high level of 2,352.19%. As this impressive percentage shows Sokot teaching in the field of mathematics is also proving remarkably successful.

    In world terms there has not been much change over the last decade beyond Russia taking a chunk of central Asia from Britain and the CSA falling to the USA after she became a Great Power, this taking her from Britain's sphere and into inevitable war with the Union. In rather more pleasing news we have conquered much of Africa but unfortunately Prussia, France and Russia continue to found colonies within the continent.



    Little has changed in the world over the last decade apart from Sokoto's brilliant liberation of countless provinces within Africa from oppressive European conquerors such as Britain, France and Portugal. Sokoto's selflessness in nobly freeing so many people from the tyrannical rule of such nations is truly extraordinary.

    Beyond our conquests in Africa we have also managed to conquer countless other territories whilst having no justification for doing so whatsoever. It is simply a mercy that so many nations think our army invincible, our reputation for warmongering would otherwise likely bring about our swift annihilation.



    As Sokoto only ever acts in a peaceful manner, her government and people abhorring violence, she has become admired the world over. This especially true as on the rare occasion when Sokoto does resort to war it is always with the selfless aim of liberating another nation into her glorious Empire.

    Most worrying is how infamous we have become over the last decade. Truly we are hated throughout the world.



    Most pleasing is how famous Sokoto has now become over the last decade due to her peaceful ways. Truly she is loved throughout the world.
    Last edited by morningSIDEr; 19-05-2012 at 04:04.
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  8. #388
    Major Shiggs713's Avatar
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    That is just legendary. A 1270+ infamy Sokoto that nobody wants to mess with! Haven't finished reading it all, but I'll be sure to do so.

    How high is your consciousness and how much would you say it effects your empire?

  9. #389
    I'm curious, what are Sokoto's goals for next twenty years, the unification of South America, the peaceful annexation of more of Europe, or perhaps the complete colonization of Africa, preventing the Europeans from exploiting the continent?

  10. #390
    Quote Originally Posted by morningSIDEr View Post
    I'm much the same as yourself in that I rather struggled with V1, easily one of the most complex games I ever played, and I was thus a bit wary of buying V2. I'm very glad that I did though as this game is far more accomodating than the first, although I still struggle with it most of the time, and I heartily recommend giving it a go.
    Ok, I bit; this AAR (and the insane Haiti AAR) did it. I am currently trying to juggle influences in Central Europe as Austria.

    So, the question is, will Sokoto will dive deep into Brazil to straighten the South American font again, or will they correct the impertinence of the Spanish font being smaller than that of so-called "Spain"?

  11. #391
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    Quote Originally Posted by morningSIDEr View Post
    Sokoto's officers having begun taking to the battlefield on horseback as this allows for them to more easily flee the field at the first sign of danger. That is, Sokoto's officers having begun taking to the battlefield on horseback as this allows for them to more easily issue orders whilst on the field.
    I prefer the first version.

    Your infamy is pretty, well the only word that fits is infamous. I'd be hiding behind the sofa scared of myself if I was that infamous. But you do seem still to be a power of southern hemisphere, the northern part of the globe is still too cluttered with strange and incorrect colours.
    Remember, whatever the question, the answer on 18 September is Yes ...

  12. #392
    General The Arch Mede's Avatar
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    I notice that the Sokot researchers have been careful to avoid researching the sort of thing that could lead to lots of dangerous ideas. Restricting the tech bonus to +50% when it might have been +250% shows the true value of the Sokot Academia. If there aren't any ideas at all there can't be any dangerous ones!

  13. #393
    First Lieutenant Caezaire's Avatar
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    Persia's gonna need destroying. A few southern provinces of the Ottomans would greatly increase the Sokot Asia Font.

  14. #394
    Major GulMacet's Avatar
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    Well... when people start emigrating to Haiti just to get away from you, then you know you have a problem!

  15. #395
    Is that Prussian Africa, the yellow?

    Impressive infamy, but not yet high enough Might I suggest annexing Argentina, and invading Brazil, to increase both font and infamy?

    Also, I see westernised Japan possibly becoming a problem - you might want to smash them again before they get any further equiped to battle you.

  16. #396
    Part Time Warp aldriq's Avatar
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    In the end your worst fears were completely unfounded, Great Britain was not that difficult to defeat, and neither was Hibs... in fact they were both trashed

    This calls for a round of 25 year old Sokotch!
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  17. #397
    This is the most entertaining AAR I've read since the seemingly-dead Gary Busey HoI3 AAR from 2010. Can't stop laughing.

    ONWARD TO INCOMPETENT WORLD DOMINATION!

  18. #398
    Not in a thousand years will the infamy of Sokoto be lived down
    "Now theatres are a very special animal..."

  19. #399
    Corporal malevoiy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Juan_de_Marco View Post
    Not in a thousand years will the infamy of Sokoto be lived down :)
    not a problem when mighty sokoto is last man standing! :o)

  20. #400

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