Soks to be You - A Sokoto V2 AAR

[Fyregecko]

I always thought that the Practical steam engine was overrated, personally, and that there was much greater glory to be found in the creation of an Impractical steam engine. I hope that you will be rectifying this soon?

And - again, knowing nothing about Victoria - I like your army composition in Italy. Lots of expendable infantry and very loud guns! I trust they regularly explode? Not proper artillery otherwise. Ask James II.

[Tanzhang (譚張)]

I always thought that the Practical steam engine was overrated, personally, and that there was much greater glory to be found in the creation of an Impractical steam engine. I hope that you will be rectifying this soon?

And - again, knowing nothing about Victoria - I like your army composition in Italy. Lots of expendable infantry and very loud guns! I trust they regularly explode? Not proper artillery otherwise. Ask James II.

No, PSE is one awesome tech - as are its successors - but it can wait. Techs with useful inventions (like Medicine, MP, etc.) should in most circumstances be researched before those with none (like PSE).

[Caezaire]

There once was a nation called Bolivia
Whom disrespected our authoritah
Sokoto Pink is for Sokoto
Thus Bolivia has to go
Sokoto is a peace loving nation
But Bolivian Pink is an abomination.
Lets kill all of their armies.
And keep pink for ourselves…ies.


Another local poet good sir.

[aldriq]

ohhhh ... poor little tiggers ... does this mean more wars towards countries where tigers actually live? That would be another good CB - "you control my desired fashion accessory?"

But surely it is much more efficient and civilised for Sokoto to import the tiger skins from Asia that to engage in the barbaric killing of domestic lions and cheetahs... Ahead of their time, I tell you, they are way ahead of their time.

[Vaya con Queso]

132 brigades, wow. Our little Sokoto is growing up so fast...

How long do you estimate before you're ready to take on France or Britain? I'm guessing you'll wait until you have more military techs, right?

[morningSIDEr]

Thank you profusely for the replies!

ncm - A glorious pink insanity!

Tanzhang (譚張) - I was wanting to research S&G earlier but the tech stuff rather got in the way, alas! I'm actually holding off on researching N&I for now, as this update will show, as I really want Machine Guns as soon as possible. I'd rather get started on Britain and France, for which I badly need Machine Guns, before they get started on me!

loki100 - I think it very likely that such a CB could be used, it is a completely justifiable reason for war after all. Sokoto has shown how important dressing your troops correctly is!

I only wish I had the artistic ability to actually make said poster! You are quite right that chances for conquest are getting a bit thin on the ground but there is always someone available, as this update shows.

Fyregecko - I have to agree, Sokoto would be far better served by an Impractical Steam Engine. Perhaps something made out of grass and mud which does nothing but explode at random intervals!

Regarding my army composition I'm rather forced into it! In V2 you need research the Military Science technology tree to unlock cavalry. I really cannot spare the research points for this at present, thus artillery and infantry is my only choice! And of course Sokoto models her artillery on Scottish cannon. Lots of noise and explosions. Some of the explosions actually harming enemy troops rather than simply being a cannon blowing up!

Caezaire - A most gifted local poet you are,
With such talent you will clearly go far,
Likely to Bolivia enlisted in Sokoto's great army,
Soldiers dropping so quickly it has become quite barmy,
Recruits are thus needed and you seem a good choice,
Able to boost morale with the impressive verse issued by your voice,
Keep in mind if you refuse this kind offer,
You will assuredly come a cropper!

aldriq - How right you are! It is due to a need to secure a good source of said tigerskins from Asia that Sokoto has embarked upon her most recent war.

Vaya con Queso - As alluded to in my reply to Tanzhang, I'm really waiting for Machine Guns, thus it will not be long now! Admittedly I would have likely declared war on either of them a bit earlier but for a rather large conflict I foolishly started as you will see in this update.

[morningSIDEr]

Chapter Twenty - Fuk-uoka

The Sokot public has become increasingly unimpressed by Sokoto's warring. They expect action, daring, heroism and, most importantly, shocking incompetence which leads to mountains of casaulties. Said mountains of casaulties always rather wished for as they provide yet another reason to detest the government. With Sokoto's armed forces finding the current war against Peru surprisingly easy, Sokoto's massive advantage in numbers just about making up for her massive disadvantage in every other area, apathy is growing amongst the public regarding Sokoto's easy conquest of yet another nation. Thankfully the navy is on hand to right matters.

This impressive defeat when victory seemed far more likely instantly engaging the public once more.

With the public once again interested in war the diplomats are sent forth.

The diplomats return several weeks later surprisingly covered in bite marks. The diplomats suffering these wounds after accepting the invitation of their Ecuadorian counterparts to enjoy a relaxing swim in the Amazon river after delivering the decleration of war. It simply an unfortunate coincidence that a shoal of piranhas happened to appear just as said swimming commenced.

The government receives a troubling report a few days later.

Quite why Sokoto's Greek population wishes for independence when they have enjoyed great benefits from Sokot rule, benefits such as having every Greek male forced into the army of a warmongering oppressive nation, having their economy ruined by crippling taxes and having their traditions trampled over by a nation which thinks pink and green suits anything and everything, is beyond them.

Hoping to keep the public on side during the current war against Ecuador, the government order the army to attack with only a few brigades. They hope that lessened numbers for Sokoto will lead to the high casaulties which both the public and the army expect.

Unfortunately Gual spoils things by proving rather less implacable than had been expected.

With war against Ecuador not going as the army nor government had hoped for, few casaulties seeming likely, the diplomats are hurriedly sent forth.

The diplomats return several weeks later, all of them sporting black eyes. Their Uruguayan counterparts causing these black eyes after becoming rather vexed by the diplomats mispronounciation of Uruguay.

Uruguay's army is soon crushed, Sokoto sadly suffering few casaulties.

The Sokot army is disgusted to find yet another opposing general disgracefully lying about their being implacable.

As Sokoto's current wars are proving so very mundane, their being few casaulties for Sokoto's public to berate the government about, support for war has dropped to alarmingly low levels. The public have instead become far more interested in further voting reform.

In response to this the government relucantly allow 'Wealth' voting. Whilst the government is irked at implementing this slightly fairer, more universal voting system, at least common oiks are still being kept from voting. Allowing commoners to vote would likely spell the end for Sokoto, such people likely to demand ridiculous changes such as lowered taxes, less warmongering and competent, incorruptible politicians.

A week later and there is rather better news for the government as peace is agreed with Peru.

The slight increase in font size for this part of Sokoto's South American holdings pleasing the government. Whilst the font for 'Sokot Bolivia' remains rather small, as the Prime Minister has often been heard to remark it is not the size which matters but rather what you do with it.

Peace is agreed with Ecuador less than a month later.

Surprisingly Ecuador's army is still in the field, Sokoto finding it near impossible to crush the constantly fleeing Ecuadorian forces. Ecuador were nonetheless desperate to agree peace, doubtless knowing they had little chance against the pink clad horde.

Peace is agreed with Uruguay too a few months later.

Naturally gaining a piece of land which is wholly cut off from the rest of Sokoto's holdings is a good move considering the great strength of Sokoto's navy.

As Sokoto's Greek population have proven such loyal citizens, clearly delighted to be part of so modern, forward thinking and glorious an Empire, the misunderstanding with the congress of Thessalia half a year earlier notwithstanding, the government feels compelled to 'liberate' the rest of Greece.

Due to previous misunderstandings which have occurred between Sokot and Greek diplomats in the past, the government decides to deliver the decleration of war via a letter this time;

"To whoever runs Greece,

We want the rest of your country.

Yours faithfully,

Greece's Rightful owner, Sokoto"

Said letter showing the government's great grasp of world politics in not knowing who leads a neighbouring nation.

Greece's army is crushed mere weeks later.

General al-Walid's making a good showing in one of his first battles. Sokoto's recruiting officer surprisingly desperate to enslist al-Walid at the first mention of 'balls', in describing al-Walid's personality.

Having liberated a large portion of South America via wholly justifiable and peaceful means the Sokot government has become increasingly aware of a dangerous nation lying just over the border of Sokoto's newly won lands. A nation which poses a terrible threat to peace the world over. Being an honourable, peace loving nation which respects the independence of all countries, Sokoto cannot allow this predator to continue terrorising the world with their warmongering.

As such a menacing target is unlikely to abide by the diplomatic conduct expected of all nations, another letter is sent, Sokoto fearing for the safety of her diplomats were they to deliver the decleration of war;

"To the warmongering blaggards of Paraguay,

Your tyranny ends here.

Yours sincerely,

The defender of world peace, Sokoto"

Whilst the government considers mobilising Sokoto's reserves so as to survive fighting the Paraguayan juggernaut, there is good news a few days later. Research into 'State and Government' coming to an end.

The government is happy that the public now understand the clear difference between the role of state government and national government in the running of the country. National government enjoys all of the power and riches, whilst state government has all of the responsiblity of governing the nation. Thus state government is always to blame for any mistakes made by the national government.

Sokoto's academics embark upon no new research, their attention instead focused on far more important matters.

Namely the translation of road signs. Seemingly the road signs in Lindi translate from the native 'Green Street' and 'New Road' into the Hausa equivalent of 'Green Street' and 'New Road'. This translation clearly incorrect, Sokoto's academics have been desperately attempting to reach the correct translation for nearly a year with little success. As the correct translation of road signs is such a vital issue the government feels it best that all of Sokoto's academics devote their energy towards finding the correct translation, this leaving none of them free for general research purposes.

[In truth I am refraining from researching anything as I wish to save my RP for when 'Machine Guns' unlocks in 1870.]

With research matters now dealt with, the government returns to worrying about the outcome of the war against Paraguay. As expected and feared the devious warmongering Paraguay had been hiding vast reserves of troops, one whole brigade being mobilised upon Sokoto's decleration of war. Finally news is brought back from the front.

With the defeat of Paraguay's mighty army the world is safe once more.

No longer having to worry about the insidious Paraguay, Sokoto at last secure, the government is brought interesting news. Alike Sokoto another nation has risen from uncivilised to civilised status. This highly commendable, the Sokot government feels compelled to congratulate this fellow newly westernised power in the normal way of civilised nations the world over. The diplomats are sent forth.

They return several months later covered in cuts. The diplomats suffering these cuts after they accepted their Japanese counterparts kind offer to be shown some 'stars', after delivering the decleration of war. It clearly a slight misunderstanding that said 'stars' proved to be throwing stars.

[I was quite surprised to see an AI controlled Japan westernised so early. Perhaps this is a consequance of playing on very hard, or perhaps it is due to the 1.4 patch.]

The war now under way, the government is more than happy that the thirty brigades assigned to the invasion of Japan is more than sufficient. Japan may have a large standing army but Sokoto's pink clad troops are more than a match for any army, no matter how big. Japan has little chance, this war should prove a dawdle.

Oh.

Japan has a great chance, this war should prove hugely difficult.

[loki100]

superb stuff, thats the sort of naval battle I often lose as well ... good to see so many notorious war mongers in Latin (or Sokot) America slapped down in the search for a more appropriate font size and ... ach I'm sure that Japan will be ok really ... really

[Avindian]

The GPs should be containing you like nobody's business. I love how you've cowed them into submission

Japan has always been tricky for me, even when I played as the Russian Empire. You wouldn't think they'd have so many brigades...

Best of luck and keep up the good (?) work.

[Tanzhang (譚張)]

War with Japan does not bode well. It is an island nation, and much further from Sokoto than Europe or South America. One must wonder, can the Sokot navy traverse such a distance without sinking about 100 metres from the docks?

[Caezaire]

Caezaire - A most gifted local poet you are,
With such talent you will clearly go far,
Likely to Bolivia enlisted in Sokoto's great army,
Soldiers dropping so quickly it has become quite barmy,
Recruits are thus needed and you seem a good choice,
Able to boost morale with the impressive verse issued by your voice,
Keep in mind if you refuse this kind offer,
You will assuredly come a cropper!

To decline would be insane
so I shall write again
For sokoto is a great nation
the number one spot for vacation
Now I shall travel to Japan
As soon as the fiddlestick hits the fan

[naggy]

Ah, I see your cunning plan. You're hoping for the volcanoes from Malurous' AAR to help wipe out the Japanese army.

[aldriq]

I can imagine the diplomatic response from Japan:

Your tyranny ends here. No, really.

[MrHouse]

Its quite hard to distinguish between Bolivia and Sokot Bolivia. Bolivia Y u no change color >

[Vaya con Queso]

Well, you really stirred up the hornet's nest this time.

Could you maybe do something similar to what you did against the Italians on Sicily?
And by that I mean, take one of the home islands and then try to let their other armies onto it one at a time, and then use your mighty navy to cut off their retreat.
Or would that be too competent? =P

[Fyregecko]

Solid work, the tyranny of Uruguay has been wiped from the face of the universe! No more goal-line handballs!

And pah, Japan. What does the great Sokoto have to fear from death-laser robots?

[sprites]

Japan is #2 in military? an unwise decision indeed !

[morningSIDEr]

Thank you profusely for the replies!

loki100 - Thank you for the kind words (your bribe is en route!). Yes, I was quite surprised when the mighty Sokot navy was somehow defeated. The worrying thing is that it is said navy which is all that is standing between Sokoto and annihilation in the war against Japan!

Avindian - Many thanks for the kind words (your bribe is in the post!). I was rather surprised by the amount of brigades Japan is able to field but thankfully things seem to be going well thus far.

I have found the difference between EU3 and V2 regarding going over the infamy limit rather surprising. As I'm sure you already know, In EU3 going even slightly over the infamy limit leads to every OPM in the world suicidally declaring war against you, whereas in V2 provided you have enough brigades your neighbours will never consider war and GPs seem to ignore you provided you do not gain a direct land border with them! Admittedly the reason I've not been attacked by a GP thus far likely has more to do with Sokoto's impressive pink uniforms cowing all potential opponents into submission!

Tanzhang (譚張) - It was a very close run thing! Thankfully the navy managed to just about survive the journey.

Caezaire - Now that the army has your morale boosting support,
Victory is guaranteed and Japan will soon become a Sokot resort,
Ready yourself though as in Japan you will not stay,
Your presence rather required in Argentina in a new foray,
This a most important war for one simple reason,
Sokoto's font must grow in size to do otherwise is treason!

naggy - Exactly so! Not to mention gaining control of South America should give Sokoto an unrivalled expertise in germ warfare years before any other nation considering the many diseases Malurous' Inca suffer!

aldriq - In truth Japan may have something of a point in making such a response but Sokoto's recent diplomatic actions prove what a noble, selfless and helpful nation she is, as this update will show!

MrHouse - Sadly Bolivia's crimes are far worse than only stealing Sokoto's brilliant political map colour, as this update will show, she truly is a most perfidious nation!

Vaya con Queso - You read my mind! Although Sokoto's army (for 'Sokoto's army' read as 'I') did make sure to add some incompetence to this plan by attacking with far too few brigades (I truly did start this war with a mere thirty brigades in place)!

Fyregecko - Exactly, Sokoto paints the world pink for the good of football! Now football can be played in the correct Scottish fashion, with no actual skill involved whatsoever but with plenty of horrendous fouls!

sprites - It certainly was! Thankfully most her military scores is derived from her newly mobilised brigades who are little match for Sokoto's brilliant pink clad troops!

[morningSIDEr]

Chapter Twenty One - Japaneasing to Victory

The government know that when taking on a nation with such a strong army and proud military history as Japan, Sokoto need employ the very best of her troops if she is to have any chance of success. Hence why the loss of nearly all of the Sokot fleet as it limped towards Japan is well receieved by the government. Such losses clearly planned so as to weed out the weak and having nothing to do with horrific Sokot shipbuilding.

Finally reaching the western coast of Japan, Sokoto's troops hurriedly disembark. The men nearly hug their bewildered Japanese opponents, so delighted they are at having finally reached land. For some reason Japan's troops take exception to being near hugged by pink clad men and battle is met.

Unsurprisingly for a nation as experienced and successful in war as Japan, a nation with many highly capable officers available, General Kuroki has been wisely assigned to lead this battle. Kuroki entirely without defensive ability.

Whilst Sokoto's troops are fighting desperately in Nagasaki, Rumfa leads the remainder of Sokoto's invading force against Japan's reserve brigades in Fukuoka. Despite being horribly outnumbered, Sokoto's force enjoys a considerable advantage in morale over Japan's newly mobilised reserves, the men still delighted at simply having survived the voyage.

These two battles are hugely important for Sokoto. Defeat here and the invasion will likely end before it has truly begun. Japan naturally understands this and she has assigned another of her very best generals to lead her army in Fukuoka. The brown nosing Shimamaru an obviously brilliant commander when it comes to defensive warfare.

Japan's reservists in Fukuoka soon break, they are unable to match the ferocity of Sokoto's troops. Sokoto's soldiers fighting with a desperate fury, wishing to avoid having to retreat to the ships.

Mere miles away a sizeable force in Yamaguchi can only watch on impotently, Sokoto's mighty navy blocking the crossing of the Setto Inland Sea.

Whilst Sokoto's troops achieve success in Japan, the diplomats achieve success in Spain too.

In another brilliantly cunning ruse France's ambassador to Spain is promptly banned after the most recent work by a new and gifted 'French' poet, Nicolas Sokotzy, rather angers the Spanish government;

France is great,
Spain we all hate,
Sokoto is obviously the best,
Spain a pest,
France shall thus conquer Spain,
The great pain.

Somehow the enraged French government learn of the diplomats involvement in this devious ploy. Quite how they uncovered said involvement is a mystery to Sokoto's diplomats, as they acted with great care whilst carrying out this mission, making sure to carefully hide their identity. Writing the poem in Hausa rather than French may have been a slight mistake however.

A few days later and the battle of Nagasaki ends, Japan's forces seemingly having been completely put off their fighting by the earlier attempts by Sokoto's troops to hug them.

With the last of Japan's forces in Kyushu now defeated, Sokoto's troops begin the terrifying task of besieging the island, many quickly succumbing to dreadful injuries as a result of this siege duty. Dreadful injuries such as paper cuts suffered as they attempt to master oragami in an effort to pass the time during horror filled siege duty.

A few months later, and with the northern part of the island finally captured, the barely floating Sokot fleet sails into port. With the crossing opened once again Japan takes the intelligent decision to throw forward more than 60,000 reserve brigades which are entirely unsupported by artillery or cavalry.

Sokoto's fleet quickly blocks the crossing from Fukuoka to Yamaguchi once again, leaving Japan's forces in Fukuoka entirely stranded. For some reason General Kuroki has been assigned to lead the Japanese force, this despite his being very obviously a general better suited to defensive command, as the earlier battle of Nagasaki proved.

Whilst Sokoto's forces are battling in Fukuoka, the government receives some good news a week later.

Rather disappointingly the cartographers add no new font to the map, although the addition of some more pink is nonetheless welcomed. Also welcomed is the addition of many thousands more Greek citizens to the Empire. Said Greek citizens quickly proving how glad they are at having joined the Empire by bursting into tears as news of their annexation into Sokoto filters through the state. Tears of joy obviously.

A month later and Sokoto's forces are triumphant in Fukuoka once again.

Having lost 100,000 troops in the last few months in the battles of Nagasaki and Fukuoka, Sokoto's army has nothing but respect for General Kuroki, who is clearly a hugely gifted officer.

As Sokoto's troops in Kyushu rest, hugely worried all the while by the reliance they have upon the navy for their survival, the government is given some promising news a few weeks later.

Darfur was colonised in record time, many in Sokoto still surprisingly desperate to escape the poverty ridden, bureaucratically mismanaged states for colonial life. Reluctantly the government orders colonisation of Mocambique, knowing that the citizens of the state will likely be bitterly opposed to returning to colony status.

A few days later and the government is given yet more welcome news.

Sokoto's newly acquired Greek citizens are happily adjusting to life within the Empire, already writing hymns in support of Sokoto. Translation experts assuring the government that the newly created and wildly popular 'Praying for Sokoto's Destruction' hymn is nothing for the government to worry about.

In a breathtaking display of military brilliance Japan make the same attacks into Kyushu time and again. Sending predominantly newly mobilised reserve brigades into battle with little artillery support and no chance of reinforcements.

Sokoto clearly a rank amateur in comparison to so great a military power, she will struggle to ever equal such an impressive casaulty count.

Whilst Japan's forces are being led to oblivion the government receives some horrifically bad news.

In annexing Paraguay the cartographers have moved Sokot font in South America and, far worse, made it smaller. Instead of the reasonably sized 'Sokot Bolivia', Sokoto now has the smaller font 'Sokot South America'. This an entirely unacceptabe state of affairs, Bolivia need be punished not only for stealing Sokoto's political map colour but also for getting in the way of Sokoto's font.

With the war against Japan progressing unexepectedly well, the diplomats are sent forth.

They return mere hours later having swiftly delivered the decleration of war to their Spanish counterparts before fleeing for their lives. Said Spanish counterparts hugely enraged at seeing banned 'French' diplomats back in the country once again.

Displaying impressive powers of seeming teleportation once again, the great Rumfa arrives in Spain mere days after having fought in Japan, quickly leading Sokoto's forces to victory.

This despite Spain appointing General Mola to command, a most skilled defensive commander.

A few months later and the Sokot government is left disgusted upon learning that the warmongering Chile has invaded Argentina once again. Such action clearly deplorable Sokoto is left with but one option.

The diplomats, still feeling rather shaken after their near escape from Spain, are allowed to rest. The government instead sending the deceleration of war via letter form;

"To the dishonourable blaggard who leads Chile,

We will not stand by as you attack our much beloved ally Argentina. We wish to attack said beloved ally ourselves.

Wishing you well,

The most failthful of allies, Sokoto"

Chile's army is finally met in battle a few months later, having already occupied part of Argentina.

A stunning victory is won for Sokoto, Kabe somehow overcoming the brilliantly gifted Ballivian, but there is a problem following said victory. Chile's army is retreating into the Argentinean province of San Luis, which Chile recently captured. For some reason Argentina is utterly against granting her noble and selfless ally Sokoto military access to her nation. It almost as if she has reason to not fully trust the entirely peaceful Sokoto.

Faced with the prospect of the Chilean army being able to rest and recuperate in San Luis as Sokoto's army is denied access to the province by Argentina, the government is left with but one choice.

Whilst Sokoto takes this action undoubtedly with Argentina's best interests at heart, the government do think it best to send said decleration via letter form. It is not that they fear for the safety of their diplomats were they to send them to Argentina with the decleration, but rather that they fear their diplomats would struggle to carry all of the gifts Argentina would likely lavish upon them for Sokoto having proven such a brilliant ally;

"Dear hugely respected ally, Argentina (so respected we do not know the name of your leader),

We do this merely to aid you.

Much love,

Your great ally, Sokoto"

As Sokoto's soldiers begin invading her great ally Argentina, the government is given yet more good news a few weeks later.

Japan is now a Great Power, all due to Sokoto's aid. There can be little doubt that the Japanese government is hugely grateful to Sokoto for decimating most of her armed forces, occupying Kyushu and attempting to gain permanent control of considerable swathes of Japanese land. Sokoto is nothing if not a helpful nation.

[naggy]

Ah, the time honored strait-blocking tactic.

A tip to the Sokot diplomats - sign everything "Moammar".