That Austria looks worrying for the mid 20th century, no danger of running short of oil when you know who gets in charge!
Last screenie is a duplicate of Bohemia.
Last screenie is a duplicate of Bohemia.
-
We have updated our Community Code of Conduct. Please read through the new rules for the forum that are an integral part of Paradox Interactive’s User Agreement.
Thanks PrawnStar, fixed!
Episode LVI: Planning Tvermission
The Imperial Palace, located at the heart of the City of Tver, was a hive of activity in the mid-17th century. The administrative centre of an empire stretching thousands of kilometres from east-central Europe to Mongolia, it was a grand building, originally constructed in the 14th century but having been modernised and remodelled many times to suit the tastes of the Grand Dukes, Princes and, later, Czars of Tver.
Marta Hallie Dobczyńska, newly appointed Captain of the Guard, Chief Advisor, Et Cetera (this was the official title), walked to the entrance of the Czar's study. She took the pair of hefty brass knockers, rapped them firmly against the door, then entered. Aleksandr V, Prince of Tver, Emperor of Tver and All the Russias, King of Poland and Overlord of Prussia, was in his usual position: seated at his desk, half-obscured by a tower of correspondence that would not, a few hundred years later, have looked out of shape in the Manhattan skyline (though any man with a hat on in the Czar's presence would have swiftly regretted his hubris).
'Ah! Welcome, Captain of the Guard! At least you had the decency to knock. I gather that your predecessors tended to dispense with the pleasantry.'
'Shame not to use a nice pair of knockers, don't you think sir?'
'Yes, well. Hem. Quite. So. The future stretches ahead of us. It is a time for caution. Our reputation is sullied. Our neighbours hate us, fear us! And they insult me, even though I'm just clearing up my father's mess! They call me dishonourable scum!'
'Well, you Rurikoviches can be awfully naughty...'
'Steady, Dobczyński.'
'-ska.'
'This is no time for upbeat rhythms! Hem. We must consolidate. Plan. Prepare. Let the world forget the errors of my father, and come to see the Empire in a better light.'
'What about supporting the development of architecture, sir? Other European monarchs are building new palaces – Versailles in France is becoming the model for European royal residences.'
'You think I should copy the French?'
'Well, you might enjoy surrendering...but no, not copy. But some new grand houses and palaces, and renovation of old ones, would make you the envy of other monarchs – and maybe help them forget your father's excesses.'
'Very well. Make it so.'
'What else is going on, sir?'
'Some good news – the rich merchant, Wilhelm Lomondov, has died.'
'Heard of him. How did he make his money?'
'Started as a miller. Worked up from only owning 'alf a mill.'
'Inspiring. What does the Death of a Salesman have to do with anything?'
'These people are my children, Dobczyński, every one of them. All my daughters. All My Sons. Hem. More importantly, though, after Mr Lomondov tragically fell off the Volga Bridge...'
'I've always liked the View from the Bridge.'
'He left a lot of money to the state. A veritable Crucible of wealth!'
'Splendid news indeed, sir.'
'Nothing makes me happier, Dobczyński...'
'Not ski.'
'Of course not. It is summer! Anyway. What makes me most happy in my position is watching this great empire develop. Evolve. Change. And every step taken to enrich her brings joy to my heart. Hem. But we must take further steps! Further streamline the bureaucracy.'
'It sounds like an idea, sir.'
'It's exciting seeing the treasury enriched. The boosting of our bounty!'
'I think my bounties are already well-boosted...'
The improvement of the Empire's bureaucracy not only boosted income, but also allowed the more efficient running of provincial administration. The Duke of Pskov was the first to enjoy the benefits, as free enterprise and the lessening of bureaucratic constraint led to the development of new businesses.
Not all were happy with the Czar's course of action, however. Some of his advisors were concerned about any further movements towards westernising the country. Aleksandr had no plans to move in this exact direction yet – modernising the military could cause considerable upheaval for which the Empire was not currently ready – but he thought it most practical to quell such concerns lest threw spread through the Imperial court like wildfire through a caravan.
Typhus competantus was a disease, declared extinct in the early twentieth century, which claimed the lives of many members of royal households from the medieval period onwards. A mysterious illness whose workings were never truly understood, it seemed to prey on anxiety: as such, it killed many heirs to European and Asian thrones. Amongst the dozens of young lives extinguished by this strangest and cruellest of diseases was young Svyatoslav Rurikovich, the Czar's brother.
Not known for any especial piety, the Czar still founded a great basilica in Moscow in his brother's name. He was oblivious, in his grief, to the sly, opportunistic advances of one of the household maids. Dobczyńska was not, however, and the girl was quietly re-educated to the betterment of her moral character. What exactly the aubergine was for, historians cannot say, but the procedure was certainly effective.
The Bill of Rights of the Tverian Empire, introduced in the enlightened times of Czarina Aleksandra, guaranteed the rights of the diverse minority groups. Not only Russian-speaking Orthodox Christians, but Lutherans and Presbyterians, Catholics and Muslims, Tartars, Ukrainians and Poles were permitted the practice their faiths and celebrate their cultures so long as they swore loyalty to the crown of Tver.
Some amongst the nobility, though, had long resented this most 'dangerously liberal' of documents – and, believing the still-young Czar to be weak, saw their chance to rebel against his authority and enforce constitutional change.
The rebels were swiftly crushed by the Tverian forces – Dobczyńska, after all, was always swift to get on top of a situation.
The promotion of modernised farming methods led to a boost in income from the already-rich city of Kyiv. The largest, most populous of the Empire's cities, the capital of the Ukrainian region's commerce generated fantastic amounts of wealth for the Imperial coffers.
Happier times visited the court when the Czarina gave birth to a son. Prince Boris was lively, healthy and, the physicians assured the Czar, highly unlikely to contract the ailment which had claimed the life of Prince Svyatoslav...
'Congratulations, sir.'
'Thank you, Dobczyńska. -ski.'
'-ska.'
'Ah. Better the first time.'
'It usually is, though the second has a special feeling of its own.'
'Now then, what's this business with the Lithuanians?'
'They're worried about encroachment. Massing troops on the borders. And some comment about the Queen of Lithuania's nose.'
'Oh dear. You'd better get over to the King of Lithuania, Dobczyńska. Defuse things a bit. Ease the tension.'
'Always happy to ease a man's tension, sir. Not healthy to keep it pent up.'
While Dobczyńska was easing tensions, the Czar approved the passage of the Judiciary Act – an expensive measure, unfortunately, but one that would improve the operation of the law courts.
Dobczyńska returned.
'Well, sir. The realm is peaceful and prosperous once again.'
'Indeed, Dobczyńska! Time to celebrate, I think.'
'What did you have in mind?'
'More construction projects. More great cathedrals, libraries and public buildings!
'The Cathedral is also in need of renovation: a fine building, but some touching-up,a little expansion – wouldn't do any harm.'
'Indeed not, sir.'
'We can't build everything in the Tverian heartland thoguh, sir. What about something in Poland?'
'My thinking exactly. I have plans here for a great statue in Kraków – they like that kind of thing. A Glorious Monument to my ancestor Aleksandr II!'
'A great warrior – that'll go down well. What form will it take, sir?'
'I gather that it will be glorious. Monolithic. Testament to his courage, his sacrifice, his determination to defend Tver from her enemies.'
'The plans are certainly...monolithic.'
'You look surprised, Dobczyńska. Disapproval?'
'Oh, not at all sir! It's very...impressive.'
'Indeed. Tall, powerful, striking, masculine. Like a great classical pillar.'
'Yes, sir. Pillar. That's exactly what I was thinking of.'
'Given your family's interest in architecture, I was hoping you'd approve.'
'Very happy to assess your column, sir.'
Fearful of the Tverian Empire's growing power, the Holy Roman Emperor issued a formal warning to Czar Aleksandr V not to go to war with any more of their neighbouring states. With the largest army in the world – over 300,000 men, around three times the size of that of Tver, not including those of her many allies and vassal states – Austria was by far the most formidable enemy Tver had ever encountered, and Aleksandr was very keen to avoid armed conflict. For the time being, at least: he began expanding the army in case of Austrian aggression, raising its size to around 120,000 soldiers, but the Empire's expansion was, at this point, fully focused on the eastern colonies.
The time of peace led to great developments in both architecture and art. Veniamin Kemsky was regarded as the finest painter and sculptor in Tver, and those who could afford to do so travelled from the furthest corners of the Empire to view exhibitions of his work.
The Czar's dedication to efficiency was to cause controversy in the eastern provinces. The city of Dzungaria had been the trading hub of the Kazakh Horde for many years. Recently conquered and taken by the Empire of Tver, Aleksandr decided to demolish the centre of trade and dismantle its infrastructure.
Dobczyńska's eyebrows made concerned, northwards movements.
'Is this a good idea, sir?'
'It is my idea, Dobczyńska! That should be sufficient!'
'I mean, won't the Kazakhs complain?'
'Centres of Trade are big business, Dobczyńska. They create a huge amount of money not only for the Empire, but for the city and province that they reside in. Our eastern trading city should be Russian, inhabited by Russians. More civil happiness, more efficiency, more sense. And sense is hard currency in modern economics.'
Thus it was that, as the year of our Lord 1650 approached, the Empire of Tver was in rude health. The Czar leaned back in his chair, a contented smile on his face.
'The opportunities are almost endless, Dobczyńska. We are the largest empire in the known world. Our enemies lie in wait, but we are ready for them.'
'Not to mention your reputation, sir. Looks like you've been forgiven.'
'Indeed. Prestige and wealth we have in abundance. The treasury is full to bursting!'
'My jumpsuit's not that tight.'
'We are powerful, Dobczyńska! Confident! Feared! More challenges lie ahead, no doubt. More trials and tribulations. But for all that this has been a quiet few years, there is more to come from the Empire of Tver. Much, much more...'
Episode LVI: Planning Tvermission
The Imperial Palace, located at the heart of the City of Tver, was a hive of activity in the mid-17th century. The administrative centre of an empire stretching thousands of kilometres from east-central Europe to Mongolia, it was a grand building, originally constructed in the 14th century but having been modernised and remodelled many times to suit the tastes of the Grand Dukes, Princes and, later, Czars of Tver.
Marta Hallie Dobczyńska, newly appointed Captain of the Guard, Chief Advisor, Et Cetera (this was the official title), walked to the entrance of the Czar's study. She took the pair of hefty brass knockers, rapped them firmly against the door, then entered. Aleksandr V, Prince of Tver, Emperor of Tver and All the Russias, King of Poland and Overlord of Prussia, was in his usual position: seated at his desk, half-obscured by a tower of correspondence that would not, a few hundred years later, have looked out of shape in the Manhattan skyline (though any man with a hat on in the Czar's presence would have swiftly regretted his hubris).
'Ah! Welcome, Captain of the Guard! At least you had the decency to knock. I gather that your predecessors tended to dispense with the pleasantry.'
'Shame not to use a nice pair of knockers, don't you think sir?'
'Yes, well. Hem. Quite. So. The future stretches ahead of us. It is a time for caution. Our reputation is sullied. Our neighbours hate us, fear us! And they insult me, even though I'm just clearing up my father's mess! They call me dishonourable scum!'
'Well, you Rurikoviches can be awfully naughty...'
'Steady, Dobczyński.'
'-ska.'
'This is no time for upbeat rhythms! Hem. We must consolidate. Plan. Prepare. Let the world forget the errors of my father, and come to see the Empire in a better light.'
'What about supporting the development of architecture, sir? Other European monarchs are building new palaces – Versailles in France is becoming the model for European royal residences.'
'You think I should copy the French?'
'Well, you might enjoy surrendering...but no, not copy. But some new grand houses and palaces, and renovation of old ones, would make you the envy of other monarchs – and maybe help them forget your father's excesses.'
'Very well. Make it so.'
'What else is going on, sir?'
'Some good news – the rich merchant, Wilhelm Lomondov, has died.'
'Heard of him. How did he make his money?'
'Started as a miller. Worked up from only owning 'alf a mill.'
'Inspiring. What does the Death of a Salesman have to do with anything?'
'These people are my children, Dobczyński, every one of them. All my daughters. All My Sons. Hem. More importantly, though, after Mr Lomondov tragically fell off the Volga Bridge...'
'I've always liked the View from the Bridge.'
'He left a lot of money to the state. A veritable Crucible of wealth!'
'Splendid news indeed, sir.'
'Nothing makes me happier, Dobczyński...'
'Not ski.'
'Of course not. It is summer! Anyway. What makes me most happy in my position is watching this great empire develop. Evolve. Change. And every step taken to enrich her brings joy to my heart. Hem. But we must take further steps! Further streamline the bureaucracy.'
'It sounds like an idea, sir.'
'It's exciting seeing the treasury enriched. The boosting of our bounty!'
'I think my bounties are already well-boosted...'
The improvement of the Empire's bureaucracy not only boosted income, but also allowed the more efficient running of provincial administration. The Duke of Pskov was the first to enjoy the benefits, as free enterprise and the lessening of bureaucratic constraint led to the development of new businesses.
Not all were happy with the Czar's course of action, however. Some of his advisors were concerned about any further movements towards westernising the country. Aleksandr had no plans to move in this exact direction yet – modernising the military could cause considerable upheaval for which the Empire was not currently ready – but he thought it most practical to quell such concerns lest threw spread through the Imperial court like wildfire through a caravan.
Typhus competantus was a disease, declared extinct in the early twentieth century, which claimed the lives of many members of royal households from the medieval period onwards. A mysterious illness whose workings were never truly understood, it seemed to prey on anxiety: as such, it killed many heirs to European and Asian thrones. Amongst the dozens of young lives extinguished by this strangest and cruellest of diseases was young Svyatoslav Rurikovich, the Czar's brother.
Not known for any especial piety, the Czar still founded a great basilica in Moscow in his brother's name. He was oblivious, in his grief, to the sly, opportunistic advances of one of the household maids. Dobczyńska was not, however, and the girl was quietly re-educated to the betterment of her moral character. What exactly the aubergine was for, historians cannot say, but the procedure was certainly effective.
The Bill of Rights of the Tverian Empire, introduced in the enlightened times of Czarina Aleksandra, guaranteed the rights of the diverse minority groups. Not only Russian-speaking Orthodox Christians, but Lutherans and Presbyterians, Catholics and Muslims, Tartars, Ukrainians and Poles were permitted the practice their faiths and celebrate their cultures so long as they swore loyalty to the crown of Tver.
Some amongst the nobility, though, had long resented this most 'dangerously liberal' of documents – and, believing the still-young Czar to be weak, saw their chance to rebel against his authority and enforce constitutional change.
The rebels were swiftly crushed by the Tverian forces – Dobczyńska, after all, was always swift to get on top of a situation.
The promotion of modernised farming methods led to a boost in income from the already-rich city of Kyiv. The largest, most populous of the Empire's cities, the capital of the Ukrainian region's commerce generated fantastic amounts of wealth for the Imperial coffers.
Happier times visited the court when the Czarina gave birth to a son. Prince Boris was lively, healthy and, the physicians assured the Czar, highly unlikely to contract the ailment which had claimed the life of Prince Svyatoslav...
'Congratulations, sir.'
'Thank you, Dobczyńska. -ski.'
'-ska.'
'Ah. Better the first time.'
'It usually is, though the second has a special feeling of its own.'
'Now then, what's this business with the Lithuanians?'
'They're worried about encroachment. Massing troops on the borders. And some comment about the Queen of Lithuania's nose.'
'Oh dear. You'd better get over to the King of Lithuania, Dobczyńska. Defuse things a bit. Ease the tension.'
'Always happy to ease a man's tension, sir. Not healthy to keep it pent up.'
While Dobczyńska was easing tensions, the Czar approved the passage of the Judiciary Act – an expensive measure, unfortunately, but one that would improve the operation of the law courts.
Dobczyńska returned.
'Well, sir. The realm is peaceful and prosperous once again.'
'Indeed, Dobczyńska! Time to celebrate, I think.'
'What did you have in mind?'
'More construction projects. More great cathedrals, libraries and public buildings!
'The Cathedral is also in need of renovation: a fine building, but some touching-up,a little expansion – wouldn't do any harm.'
'Indeed not, sir.'
'We can't build everything in the Tverian heartland thoguh, sir. What about something in Poland?'
'My thinking exactly. I have plans here for a great statue in Kraków – they like that kind of thing. A Glorious Monument to my ancestor Aleksandr II!'
'A great warrior – that'll go down well. What form will it take, sir?'
'I gather that it will be glorious. Monolithic. Testament to his courage, his sacrifice, his determination to defend Tver from her enemies.'
'The plans are certainly...monolithic.'
'You look surprised, Dobczyńska. Disapproval?'
'Oh, not at all sir! It's very...impressive.'
'Indeed. Tall, powerful, striking, masculine. Like a great classical pillar.'
'Yes, sir. Pillar. That's exactly what I was thinking of.'
'Given your family's interest in architecture, I was hoping you'd approve.'
'Very happy to assess your column, sir.'
Fearful of the Tverian Empire's growing power, the Holy Roman Emperor issued a formal warning to Czar Aleksandr V not to go to war with any more of their neighbouring states. With the largest army in the world – over 300,000 men, around three times the size of that of Tver, not including those of her many allies and vassal states – Austria was by far the most formidable enemy Tver had ever encountered, and Aleksandr was very keen to avoid armed conflict. For the time being, at least: he began expanding the army in case of Austrian aggression, raising its size to around 120,000 soldiers, but the Empire's expansion was, at this point, fully focused on the eastern colonies.
The time of peace led to great developments in both architecture and art. Veniamin Kemsky was regarded as the finest painter and sculptor in Tver, and those who could afford to do so travelled from the furthest corners of the Empire to view exhibitions of his work.
The Czar's dedication to efficiency was to cause controversy in the eastern provinces. The city of Dzungaria had been the trading hub of the Kazakh Horde for many years. Recently conquered and taken by the Empire of Tver, Aleksandr decided to demolish the centre of trade and dismantle its infrastructure.
Dobczyńska's eyebrows made concerned, northwards movements.
'Is this a good idea, sir?'
'It is my idea, Dobczyńska! That should be sufficient!'
'I mean, won't the Kazakhs complain?'
'Centres of Trade are big business, Dobczyńska. They create a huge amount of money not only for the Empire, but for the city and province that they reside in. Our eastern trading city should be Russian, inhabited by Russians. More civil happiness, more efficiency, more sense. And sense is hard currency in modern economics.'
Thus it was that, as the year of our Lord 1650 approached, the Empire of Tver was in rude health. The Czar leaned back in his chair, a contented smile on his face.
'The opportunities are almost endless, Dobczyńska. We are the largest empire in the known world. Our enemies lie in wait, but we are ready for them.'
'Not to mention your reputation, sir. Looks like you've been forgiven.'
'Indeed. Prestige and wealth we have in abundance. The treasury is full to bursting!'
'My jumpsuit's not that tight.'
'We are powerful, Dobczyńska! Confident! Feared! More challenges lie ahead, no doubt. More trials and tribulations. But for all that this has been a quiet few years, there is more to come from the Empire of Tver. Much, much more...'
Last edited:
The shark of Tver needs to close its jaws on the Mongols.
I just can't get over how much I like all your innuendos. They make reading an update so much fun.
I just can't get over how much I like all your innuendos. They make reading an update so much fun.
After the intro I was expecting rather more waterfowl references but she seems to be like the previous incarnations, more interested in looking at massive pillars than enjoying a good duck.
I'm glad Aleksandr is resisting with all his might Dobczynska's attempts to lure him with all that blatant innuendo. Yes, Aleksandr, continue to resist stiffly! Or perhaps he's just too thick to understand them. For all his smarts I guess he could be thick in some less academic ways.
And I thought you'd add a little more drama about Svyatoslav's death - I mean, I'd be upset too if such a fantastic heir decided to up and die like that. Disease? It must be a conspiracy!
I think this is probably a West Coast thing - if it exists at all, for this is the first time I've even heard it mentioned and I don't really see the resemblance. I've lived in Fife for a few years and never heard such a saying, but then again Fifers aren't known for having particularly colourful language among Scots. Or bothering very much about too-short shorts.
And I thought you'd add a little more drama about Svyatoslav's death - I mean, I'd be upset too if such a fantastic heir decided to up and die like that. Disease? It must be a conspiracy!
I think this is probably a West Coast thing - if it exists at all, for this is the first time I've even heard it mentioned and I don't really see the resemblance. I've lived in Fife for a few years and never heard such a saying, but then again Fifers aren't known for having particularly colourful language among Scots. Or bothering very much about too-short shorts.
Wonderful as always. Except for Murom (?) sitting there in the middle of mighty Tver. And urgh, that Austria. But apart from that wonderful.
It looks like you're approaching the Imperial borders of 1914 on good pace (I've drawn it from memory in my physics notebook 
).
While Dobczyńska and Aleksandr are flirting... with peace and efficiency, a new coalition should soon arise, led by the Kaiser von Österreich . I look foward to your victory in those wars.
). While Dobczyńska and Aleksandr are flirting... with peace and efficiency, a new coalition should soon arise, led by the Kaiser von Österreich
. I look foward to your victory in those wars.
Bravo! Superb! Fantabulous!
Finally finished reading the entire thread, and boy, was every single update a magnificent read! Definitely my favourite AAR so far. Keep up the good work and look for opportunities to weaken the Austrians. Now that I think of it, seeing Austria's current shape, they would actually be easy pickings if EU3 had the same supply mechanics as HOI3. 300,000 soldiers cut off from supplies - makes one dream, doesn't it?
Finally finished reading the entire thread, and boy, was every single update a magnificent read! Definitely my favourite AAR so far. Keep up the good work and look for opportunities to weaken the Austrians. Now that I think of it, seeing Austria's current shape, they would actually be easy pickings if EU3 had the same supply mechanics as HOI3. 300,000 soldiers cut off from supplies - makes one dream, doesn't it?
with such a large stretch of land 'supply' will prolly still do em in, but I can imagine youd like a bit of peacefull times right about now
I see formodable Tver prospers, and the replacement Dobczynska is pretty...formidable as well.
Formidable seems to be the word...of the update
And has the mighty Tverian Empire decided on going down...south???Towards the Khyber Pass or the Straits of Hormuz?
And has the mighty Tverian Empire decided on going down...south???Towards the Khyber Pass or the Straits of Hormuz?
That would be a very cool and unorthodox idea. But I like it! From there on, Tver could maybe start colonising eastern Africa or Indonesia.... But that's just my imagination.
I think you could have made a joke about how many different kings Dobcynnska visited to "ease their temper". She really put in a lot of ... work. For the glory of Tver of course.
I think you could have made a joke about how many different kings Dobcynnska visited to "ease their temper". She really put in a lot of ... work. For the glory of Tver of course.
If I can get there before the eastern heathen, who also have their eyes on the remaining Horde territory.
And I'm glad that someone else is as easily amused as me
Can't go wrong with a good duck. And as a confident young lady I'm sure we'll see plenty of her swanning around. Unless those heels give way on a staircase – then here goose will be cooked.
Not thick, no, but focused on matters at hand. And he doesn't really know what he's doing with the ladies, bless him (Dip 3? Boy had nae chance). Not even sure how their heir came into being. Someone must have given him a manual. Or told him that children = more tax income.
And I thought about it, but – well, you know that I normally try to do something comedic (and usually fail) for heirs' demises, but I thought that he was a bit young. Teenagers are fair game, but anything under 12 I feel a bit uncomfortable with.
And that's good to know – hell, maybe it's a Renfrewshire thing, can't remember any Glaswegians saying it for that matter. I think it's a neat turn of phrase anyway
I've been in a PU with Murom for well over a century. Bloody Hordes mean I'm usually at war when a monarch cops it (that really shouldn't count as a war). Going to give them one more chance to come quietly, or they're getting integrated. To the face.
It looks like you're approaching the Imperial borders of 1914 on good pace (I've drawn it from memory in my physics notebook
While Dobczyńska and Aleksandr are flirting... with peace and efficiency, a new coalition should soon arise, led by the Kaiser von Österreich
That's the kind of area I'm going for – though I have my eye on Silesia too since I really like the region (and I need to demolish that stupid CoT in Ratib[wham]Racibórz.) And I'm building the army up, though I'm still a long way off being able to beat the Ostriches.
I may surprise you :S
Indeed, richer than most countries! Must have had his cash in Cyprus.
Bravo! Superb! Fantabulous!
Finally finished reading the entire thread, and boy, was every single update a magnificent read! Definitely my favourite AAR so far. Keep up the good work and look for opportunities to weaken the Austrians. Now that I think of it, seeing Austria's current shape, they would actually be easy pickings if EU3 had the same supply mechanics as HOI3. 300,000 soldiers cut off from supplies - makes one dream, doesn't it?
Thanks for the kind words comrade
And I haven't played HoI, but I'd take any sneaky trick to weaken them at the moment. Not that I desperately want any of their territory, but I want to be the undisputed number one power in the world – and at the moment they would still edge it.with such a large stretch of land 'supply' will prolly still do em in, but I can imagine youd like a bit of peacefull times right about now
Definitely. Lots of Infamy to burn, and I'd like to finish off Westernising in the not too distant future.
It's all in the name. And other attributes.
Probably not much further south. Though if I did manage to beat Austria I wouldn't mind Constantinople as an endgame
Tverdonesia? I like it, though I don't really have the navy for that kind of thing. Hey, if the chance presented itself I wouldn't say no.
Episode LVII: Tverly Modern
Marta Hallie Dobczyńska, Chief Advisor to Czar Aleksandr V, entered the Emperor's study as quietly as anyone in impractically high-heeled boots could (the lush carpets helped in this matter).
At a corner desk sat a man. This man was not the Czar of the Tverian Empire. He looked up from his pile of letters, rose (as did most men in her presence), and grinned a confident grin.
'Captain Dobczyńska, I presume.'
'You presume correctly. Who are you, what are you doing here, and why shouldn't I eject you from the Emperor's private study?'
'Steady on, Captain. I am Mitrofan Beloselsky, of the imperial diplomatic corps. At your service, et cetera. I am here to deliver some letters to his Imperial Majesty. And you shouldn't eject me from the Emperor's private study because that would really hurt, and while I am usually quite happy to be pinned to a wall by an attractive woman I'd rather she didn't do it with a pointy object.'
Dobczyńska considered this. Then nodded. 'Very well. Sorry. I take my responsibilities seriously.'
'Admirable, Captain.'
'Marta. So, a diplomat? Been anywhere exciting?'
'All over the place. The Czar's changes to our administrative structure are sound enough, but take a lot of effort to implement. In the diplomatic corps as much as anywhere else.'
'Any casualties?'
'A few did lose their jobs. I had to bring them the news usually. Our man in Paris was one. Couldn't take it. Jumped into the river, poor fellow.'
'Must have gone in Seine.'
'The ambassador to Egypt was replaced too. He had the same reaction.'
'Sounds like he was in de Nile.'
'Can barely swim too. He was eventually rescued but not until he reached the mouth of the river.'
'Aswan? Damn.'
'So I got to travel a fair bit. But it's always nice to come back home.'
'Going to be here for long?'
'Looks like it. I've been given a promotion.'
'Congratulations. Tell me more about your elevation.'
The door opened. Czar Aleksandr strode into the room, the maroon cape of the Princes of Tver billowing behind him. His son, Boris, Prince of Murom, walked behind him. A boy of thirteen, he was stockier than his tall, almost gaunt father. His eyes were shifty.
'Good morning, sir.'
'Dobczyńska! Getting acquainted are you? Mr Beloselsky here is my new chief diplomat. He has a diplomatic smile and a reputation as a smooth ladykiller, which makes him ideal.'
'We'll see about that...'
'His Imperial Majesty exaggerates, Marta. Someone thought that I had potential. And with Tver's recent emphasis on improving her reputation, he needs all the good diplomats he can get.'
'Quite so. But we cannot complain! Hem. It is a grand day, Dobczyńska! A day of profit! Of fountains of mammon and generous bounties!'
'My bounties are rather generous.'
'I agree, Marta, though further demonstrations are very welc...'
'The Empire of Tver is the richest nation in existence! Finally we surpass the greedy, sneaky heathen Austrian loan sharks, bankers and aristocrats! Hem. Our riches eclipse every other country!'
'Good news, sir. Though we shouldn't get too confident.'
Beloselsky nodded. 'Wouldn't want anyone to get too cocky, would we?'
'For all our wealth, sir, our army is a fraction of Austria's. If there were to be conflict with them, it would get very messy, very quickly.'
The Czar inclined his head. 'Yes, yes, I agree. Besides, war is not on The Agenda. If it is not on The Agenda, it does not happen.'
'So what is on The Agenda sir?' enquired Beloselsky.
'Eastern expansion and efficiency. Serious business, Mr Beloselsky! Our demographics are encouraging, though, More and more of our eastern citizens identify with the Tverian way of life.'
'Very impressive, sir.'
'I though so, Mr Beloselsky. It could be better, though – if more of them followed the One True Faith.'
Dobczyńska looked concerned. 'The Bill of Rights guarantees religious freedom, sir.'
'I know that, Dobczyńska. And it is a good thing! Makes people happier! More willing to pay their taxes! But it's a well-known fact that Orthodox Christians pay more.'
'How does that work? Surely everyone pays the same?'
'It's all very complicated, Dobczyńska. I agree that it should make no difference...charitable donations, perhaps? I'll check with the clerk, he's good with this sort of thing. Anyway, our provincial incomes are higher than ever.'
'Astrakhan and Novgorod still generating a fortune I see.'
'Indeed, Mr Beloselsky. Centres of Trade are the way forwards. Talking of which, I have established a new one in Tomsk to trade the valuable goods from our eastern provinces.'
'A bold move, sir. Setting Tomsk up as the capital of the east? Kachińsk is richer, would it not be better?'
'I know what you mean, but have a little faith! Hem. Tomsk is not the richest of those new provinces, but well-located. Fruitful iron deposits of its own. And I just like the name. And money is good! Though we must beware of inflation.'
'Don't you like my inflation?'
Beloselsky smiled. 'Give Tomsk a chance, Marta. I'm sure that one day it will be beloved of artists and poets.'
'Spoken like a true diplomat, Mitrofan.'
'I try to be nice to everyone. You never know when you'll need them for something. By the way, your hair looks lovely.'
'Why thank you, I washedwaitaminute...'
'HEM. I have also proposed the foundation of new establishments to enhance our financial performance. Develop a thriving financial services industry for our empire.'
'Good plan, sir. Maybe we could set up such establishments in other countries as well?'
'That may be the future, Beloselsky. Somewhere warm. Maybe Mediterranean?'
'Greece or Cyprus might be good. What could possibly...'
Dobczyńska coughed. The diplomat understood.
'Spaseeba, Marta.'
'Why are you speaking English?'
'Sorry. Posted there for most of last year. They thank people for everything.'
'Strange people, the English. Impressive empire, though.'
'It is, though they don't control Ireland anymore.'
'No?'
'No. Ireland is mostly a Republic now.'
'A Republic of Ireland? The world gets stranger and stranger.'
A thoughtful look crossed the royal visage. 'An Administrative Republic, eh? Sounds exciting.'
Dobczyńska arched an elegant brow. 'You admire a republic? Careful, sir.'
'Why shoudln't I? Wouldn't be right for Tver of course – far too large – but we can learn from the strengths of others. Their administration seems efficient. Hem. We like efficiency! Means more money.'
'Are you sure you've never been to Edinburgh, sir?'
'Looking eastwards, the Mongol Khanate is gone.'
'Gone sir?'
'Gone! Annexed.'
'By whom?'
'Manchu.'
'Ah. Thought they'd be a candidate..'
'Right. Well, thank you Beloselsky. Before you go back, write a letter to the Pope.'
'Why?'
'Why not? And if not, then why?'
'What about?'
'Anything you like! Should be easy for a man of your talents. Hem. Just write “Dear Pope” and see where it goes.'
'Shoudln't that be “Your Holiness”?'
'We're Orthodox, remember? We don't need to bother with that.'
'Very well sir. ”Dear Pope...”
'Now, Dobczyńska. What else has been happening?'
'The Lord Admiral is concerned, sir.'
'He's always concerned. Or is that just his face? He has a concerned face. Hem.'
'He's concerned that our navy isn't large enough to keep pace with our colonial exploits.'
'...but all our colonies can be reached overland, no?'
'Yes, sir. I think he's just trying to save his job.'
'Hmm! We'll see about that. Spot of naval disarmament, that'll show him who's boss. Hem!'
'Won't we need the navy if we end up at war with the Austrians, sir?'
'Not now, Dobczyńska. Not time for war. It is time for peace, and profit, and profitable peace. Quiet times in front of the fire. Glass of wine in one hand, balance sheet in the other.'
'Sounds like a skelterer of an evening, sir. Though talking of Austria, they're in a spot of bother.'
'Heavens. Too much expansion?'
'I think I'm very nicely expanded.'
'What did they do?'
'Went on a bit of an annexing spree.'
'Not on, Dobczyńska. Hem. Not on. Not good for long-term efficiency. Leads to what I believe is known as 'dogpiling'. As my father found out when he overstretched himself.'
'Nevertheless, they may do so again. May be time to upgrade out armies a bit.'
'Very well Dobczyńska. Some revisions of their tactics and weapons may be in order. I trust you'll whip our men into shape?'
'I'll soon have them standing to attention, sir.'
As predicted, the ruining of Austria's reputation led to international condemnation. A coalition of central European states asserted their rights to Austrian territories. A series of punitive wars were declared against the Holy Roman Emperor by his subjects and vassals, engulfing the Empire in war.
'You look hungry, Dobczyńska.'
'It's tempting, sir. Many far smaller nations than us have taken their chance to attack Austria...but we can't.'
'Why not? Silesia is a promising target.'
'Most of the countries who attacked Austria, sir, border her isolated provinces acquired through diplomacy. Austrian troops won't be able to reach them. We, on the other hand, have two borders large borders with the united section of their empire. We would have to face the full force of three hundred thousands soldiers plus vassals.'
'I see. Anything we can do?'
'Silesia is a recent acquisition of Austria's – rebel sympathies are likely to be high. And it is unconnected to their man provinces.'
'What are you suggesting?'
'Stir up rebellions in Silesia. Could lead to an independent Silesia, ripe for our taking.'
'Good thinking Dobczyńska. Can you see to it?'
'I know how to handle a powerful uprising, sir.'
Czar Aleksandr nodded his approval. 'Russian spies in Austria. Doubt we'll ever see that again.'
While Tver consolidated her position and improved her administration, Austria was under pressure. The massive empire was forces to cede the isolated province of Koblenz to the small Imperial state of Hesse.
'Such is the fate of the infamous, Dobczyńska!'
'Definitely, sir.'
'Thankfully, we still have the Hordes to expand into. Nobody minds if we take their territory.'
'Ah. About that, sir. News.'
'What?'
'For the first time in almost two hundred and fifty years, the Empire of Tver does not border a Steppe Horde.'
'Well, that's good news...though it does make expansion harder.'
'If you need help with your expansions, sir, I'm always...'
'How can they annex them? We never got to do that.'
'It's all very confusing, sir. Blame the Swedes.'
'When in doubt. Still. Cleaner borders! We know who our enemies are. Send Beloselsky to have a word with the easternm heathen. Bring them messages of peace – for now, at least.'
'Very good, sir. By the way, ahev you seen Anhalt?'
'Austria and Bohemia?'
'They're either brave or mental. Probably some combination thereof, actually.'
'Well, one must risk to earn reward. Hence the stock exchanges.'
'Very true, sir.'
'Their courage is inspirational – but for now, we must be careful./ We are strong and wealthy, great things lie ahead of us! All the omens, Dobczyńska, are of glorious times to come!'
Marta Hallie Dobczyńska, Chief Advisor to Czar Aleksandr V, entered the Emperor's study as quietly as anyone in impractically high-heeled boots could (the lush carpets helped in this matter).
At a corner desk sat a man. This man was not the Czar of the Tverian Empire. He looked up from his pile of letters, rose (as did most men in her presence), and grinned a confident grin.
'Captain Dobczyńska, I presume.'
'You presume correctly. Who are you, what are you doing here, and why shouldn't I eject you from the Emperor's private study?'
'Steady on, Captain. I am Mitrofan Beloselsky, of the imperial diplomatic corps. At your service, et cetera. I am here to deliver some letters to his Imperial Majesty. And you shouldn't eject me from the Emperor's private study because that would really hurt, and while I am usually quite happy to be pinned to a wall by an attractive woman I'd rather she didn't do it with a pointy object.'
Dobczyńska considered this. Then nodded. 'Very well. Sorry. I take my responsibilities seriously.'
'Admirable, Captain.'
'Marta. So, a diplomat? Been anywhere exciting?'
'All over the place. The Czar's changes to our administrative structure are sound enough, but take a lot of effort to implement. In the diplomatic corps as much as anywhere else.'
'Any casualties?'
'A few did lose their jobs. I had to bring them the news usually. Our man in Paris was one. Couldn't take it. Jumped into the river, poor fellow.'
'Must have gone in Seine.'
'The ambassador to Egypt was replaced too. He had the same reaction.'
'Sounds like he was in de Nile.'
'Can barely swim too. He was eventually rescued but not until he reached the mouth of the river.'
'Aswan? Damn.'
'So I got to travel a fair bit. But it's always nice to come back home.'
'Going to be here for long?'
'Looks like it. I've been given a promotion.'
'Congratulations. Tell me more about your elevation.'
The door opened. Czar Aleksandr strode into the room, the maroon cape of the Princes of Tver billowing behind him. His son, Boris, Prince of Murom, walked behind him. A boy of thirteen, he was stockier than his tall, almost gaunt father. His eyes were shifty.
'Good morning, sir.'
'Dobczyńska! Getting acquainted are you? Mr Beloselsky here is my new chief diplomat. He has a diplomatic smile and a reputation as a smooth ladykiller, which makes him ideal.'
'We'll see about that...'
'His Imperial Majesty exaggerates, Marta. Someone thought that I had potential. And with Tver's recent emphasis on improving her reputation, he needs all the good diplomats he can get.'
'Quite so. But we cannot complain! Hem. It is a grand day, Dobczyńska! A day of profit! Of fountains of mammon and generous bounties!'
'My bounties are rather generous.'
'I agree, Marta, though further demonstrations are very welc...'
'The Empire of Tver is the richest nation in existence! Finally we surpass the greedy, sneaky heathen Austrian loan sharks, bankers and aristocrats! Hem. Our riches eclipse every other country!'
'Good news, sir. Though we shouldn't get too confident.'
Beloselsky nodded. 'Wouldn't want anyone to get too cocky, would we?'
'For all our wealth, sir, our army is a fraction of Austria's. If there were to be conflict with them, it would get very messy, very quickly.'
The Czar inclined his head. 'Yes, yes, I agree. Besides, war is not on The Agenda. If it is not on The Agenda, it does not happen.'
'So what is on The Agenda sir?' enquired Beloselsky.
'Eastern expansion and efficiency. Serious business, Mr Beloselsky! Our demographics are encouraging, though, More and more of our eastern citizens identify with the Tverian way of life.'
'Very impressive, sir.'
'I though so, Mr Beloselsky. It could be better, though – if more of them followed the One True Faith.'
Dobczyńska looked concerned. 'The Bill of Rights guarantees religious freedom, sir.'
'I know that, Dobczyńska. And it is a good thing! Makes people happier! More willing to pay their taxes! But it's a well-known fact that Orthodox Christians pay more.'
'How does that work? Surely everyone pays the same?'
'It's all very complicated, Dobczyńska. I agree that it should make no difference...charitable donations, perhaps? I'll check with the clerk, he's good with this sort of thing. Anyway, our provincial incomes are higher than ever.'
'Astrakhan and Novgorod still generating a fortune I see.'
'Indeed, Mr Beloselsky. Centres of Trade are the way forwards. Talking of which, I have established a new one in Tomsk to trade the valuable goods from our eastern provinces.'
'A bold move, sir. Setting Tomsk up as the capital of the east? Kachińsk is richer, would it not be better?'
'I know what you mean, but have a little faith! Hem. Tomsk is not the richest of those new provinces, but well-located. Fruitful iron deposits of its own. And I just like the name. And money is good! Though we must beware of inflation.'
'Don't you like my inflation?'
Beloselsky smiled. 'Give Tomsk a chance, Marta. I'm sure that one day it will be beloved of artists and poets.'
'Spoken like a true diplomat, Mitrofan.'
'I try to be nice to everyone. You never know when you'll need them for something. By the way, your hair looks lovely.'
'Why thank you, I washedwaitaminute...'
'HEM. I have also proposed the foundation of new establishments to enhance our financial performance. Develop a thriving financial services industry for our empire.'
'Good plan, sir. Maybe we could set up such establishments in other countries as well?'
'That may be the future, Beloselsky. Somewhere warm. Maybe Mediterranean?'
'Greece or Cyprus might be good. What could possibly...'
Dobczyńska coughed. The diplomat understood.
'Spaseeba, Marta.'
'Why are you speaking English?'
'Sorry. Posted there for most of last year. They thank people for everything.'
'Strange people, the English. Impressive empire, though.'
'It is, though they don't control Ireland anymore.'
'No?'
'No. Ireland is mostly a Republic now.'
'A Republic of Ireland? The world gets stranger and stranger.'
A thoughtful look crossed the royal visage. 'An Administrative Republic, eh? Sounds exciting.'
Dobczyńska arched an elegant brow. 'You admire a republic? Careful, sir.'
'Why shoudln't I? Wouldn't be right for Tver of course – far too large – but we can learn from the strengths of others. Their administration seems efficient. Hem. We like efficiency! Means more money.'
'Are you sure you've never been to Edinburgh, sir?'
'Looking eastwards, the Mongol Khanate is gone.'
'Gone sir?'
'Gone! Annexed.'
'By whom?'
'Manchu.'
'Ah. Thought they'd be a candidate..'
'Right. Well, thank you Beloselsky. Before you go back, write a letter to the Pope.'
'Why?'
'Why not? And if not, then why?'
'What about?'
'Anything you like! Should be easy for a man of your talents. Hem. Just write “Dear Pope” and see where it goes.'
'Shoudln't that be “Your Holiness”?'
'We're Orthodox, remember? We don't need to bother with that.'
'Very well sir. ”Dear Pope...”
'Now, Dobczyńska. What else has been happening?'
'The Lord Admiral is concerned, sir.'
'He's always concerned. Or is that just his face? He has a concerned face. Hem.'
'He's concerned that our navy isn't large enough to keep pace with our colonial exploits.'
'...but all our colonies can be reached overland, no?'
'Yes, sir. I think he's just trying to save his job.'
'Hmm! We'll see about that. Spot of naval disarmament, that'll show him who's boss. Hem!'
'Won't we need the navy if we end up at war with the Austrians, sir?'
'Not now, Dobczyńska. Not time for war. It is time for peace, and profit, and profitable peace. Quiet times in front of the fire. Glass of wine in one hand, balance sheet in the other.'
'Sounds like a skelterer of an evening, sir. Though talking of Austria, they're in a spot of bother.'
'Heavens. Too much expansion?'
'I think I'm very nicely expanded.'
'What did they do?'
'Went on a bit of an annexing spree.'
'Not on, Dobczyńska. Hem. Not on. Not good for long-term efficiency. Leads to what I believe is known as 'dogpiling'. As my father found out when he overstretched himself.'
'Nevertheless, they may do so again. May be time to upgrade out armies a bit.'
'Very well Dobczyńska. Some revisions of their tactics and weapons may be in order. I trust you'll whip our men into shape?'
'I'll soon have them standing to attention, sir.'
As predicted, the ruining of Austria's reputation led to international condemnation. A coalition of central European states asserted their rights to Austrian territories. A series of punitive wars were declared against the Holy Roman Emperor by his subjects and vassals, engulfing the Empire in war.
'You look hungry, Dobczyńska.'
'It's tempting, sir. Many far smaller nations than us have taken their chance to attack Austria...but we can't.'
'Why not? Silesia is a promising target.'
'Most of the countries who attacked Austria, sir, border her isolated provinces acquired through diplomacy. Austrian troops won't be able to reach them. We, on the other hand, have two borders large borders with the united section of their empire. We would have to face the full force of three hundred thousands soldiers plus vassals.'
'I see. Anything we can do?'
'Silesia is a recent acquisition of Austria's – rebel sympathies are likely to be high. And it is unconnected to their man provinces.'
'What are you suggesting?'
'Stir up rebellions in Silesia. Could lead to an independent Silesia, ripe for our taking.'
'Good thinking Dobczyńska. Can you see to it?'
'I know how to handle a powerful uprising, sir.'
Czar Aleksandr nodded his approval. 'Russian spies in Austria. Doubt we'll ever see that again.'
While Tver consolidated her position and improved her administration, Austria was under pressure. The massive empire was forces to cede the isolated province of Koblenz to the small Imperial state of Hesse.
'Such is the fate of the infamous, Dobczyńska!'
'Definitely, sir.'
'Thankfully, we still have the Hordes to expand into. Nobody minds if we take their territory.'
'Ah. About that, sir. News.'
'What?'
'For the first time in almost two hundred and fifty years, the Empire of Tver does not border a Steppe Horde.'
'Well, that's good news...though it does make expansion harder.'
'If you need help with your expansions, sir, I'm always...'
'How can they annex them? We never got to do that.'
'It's all very confusing, sir. Blame the Swedes.'
'When in doubt. Still. Cleaner borders! We know who our enemies are. Send Beloselsky to have a word with the easternm heathen. Bring them messages of peace – for now, at least.'
'Very good, sir. By the way, ahev you seen Anhalt?'
'Austria and Bohemia?'
'They're either brave or mental. Probably some combination thereof, actually.'
'Well, one must risk to earn reward. Hence the stock exchanges.'
'Very true, sir.'
'Their courage is inspirational – but for now, we must be careful./ We are strong and wealthy, great things lie ahead of us! All the omens, Dobczyńska, are of glorious times to come!'
I swear that the Czar is getting more and more tanned as the years go by. I suppose he won't be having a Vitamin D deficiency any time soon.
It's a shame that you weren't in a position to go to war with Austria. It would have been great to see two titans going at it.
It's a shame that you weren't in a position to go to war with Austria. It would have been great to see two titans going at it.
