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Tsars leading from the front happens, but true Dobs do not encourage it. This means that when the Tsar dies, a trustworthy Dob is available to serve them. This False Dob will have his head put on a pike by the first Tsar with a modicum of sense (and without the head being removed from the body first).
 
Heavens. Controversy! :D

@ homy_dog34: They're pretty big, having swallowed up a good chunk of Benelux (should have screenshotted them in hindsight). They were at war with Austria at this point, so I thought that they might Dishonour, but if they didn't, they were allied with GBR - an alliance cascade I definitely don't want even though they, too, were fighting the ostriches.

@ RGB: Window on the West: Denmark control Estonia and Latvia, and it seemed as good a chance to knock the Mission off as any.

@ BogMod: Glad you liked it mate, and thanks for the compliment :)

@ loki100: Sadly, intelligence and wisdom are not prerequisites ofr having ideas, not for getting into a position where you can put them into practice. And indeed, a ludicrous way to run a country - thank heavens I am merely writing science fiction!

@ Chief Ragusa: No cores on Murom or Niz Nov, sadly (I'd love to get the Annex Vassal mission, but it's not forthcoming). And as you say, what [pi]could[/i] possibly go wrong?

And Dobczyński always needs a holiday. Hard work saving an empire from its leaders :S

@ yequr: Indeed, there is a young bastard (in the technical sense) waiting in line. Administrative genius, otherwise even more useless than his father. Splendid!

@ Gruzmog: It was more Denmark's allies I was scared of (or rather their allies' allies). But I thought that the risk was worth it for gaining some Baltic provinces.

@ MrQwerty: He's based on portraits of George IV of Great Britain and Ireland, so yes, he is rather...generously proportioned.

@ Gen. Marshall: Glad to have you along, sir :)

@ blsteen: Oh, he does. And Tver had plenty of orchards.

@ The Arch Mede: Mirin Janusz is 100% Dobczyński :D I realise that his attitude towards the current Czar is rather unusual, though, and my expression of it is limited by my abilities as a writer (which are almost as limited as my skills as an artist). He's not plotting against Konstantin as such - he's rather giving him opportunities to get rid of himself :D Dobczyński's role (and that of his predecessors) is to embody some of my own thoughts about the game situation, and often embodies the doubts that I have about courses of action. Here, he embodies the fact that I actually want Konstantin to drop of his perch and am throwing him into ever fight I can to try and facilitate this. But of course, Dob is a much more subtle, sophisticated man than I am. In many ways, he's the man I'd love to be.

I hope that that clarifies things a bit - I want to listen to reader feedback, and am very open to constructive criticism, but there is a reason for Dobczyński's acting in this rather...assertive manner :)

@ Omen: Definitely. He needs to prove himself worthy of the dark red mantle! As a well-rounded renaissance man, Dobczyński has been known to turn his hand to horticulture as well. He'll likely do that very thing!

@ Memento Mori:
According to the #23 rule of the natural perversity of inanimate objects, Konstantin is destined to be the longest reigning monarch so far. Furthermore, if not his 5 in diplomacy, he would have a good chance to survive until 1821, dying a few months short of the game's end, giving you time to play with a heir 9/9/9... who would be too young to rule, thus dooming you to spend the rest of the game with a 3/3/3 regency council.

My thoughts exactly! Though I was thinking more a 5-year Interregnum to finish things...

@ DGuller: Indeed. He has to weigh his responsibilities, both to the Rurikoviches and to the empire. And Konstantin does weight rather a lot...

Edit; And...Episode Number 50 :) (though there have beena few multi-parters, meaning that it's technically about Episode 56, but I'm calling this one 50 :))
 
Episode L: Gold, Frankincense and Tver

The policy of a ‘Window on the West’ first appeared in the policy of the short-lived Prince-Bishop Konstantin III of Tver, wherein he demanded that part of the western part of the palace be demolished to make way for a ludicrously huge stained-glass window. The idea had resurfaced on a regular basis in the Parliaments of successive monarchs – and now, Czar Konstantin IV had decided to take a more metaphorical course of action. Estonia and Livonia were controlled by the Kingdom of Denmark, and the Czar saw a chance to make a name for himself by taking by establishing a Tverian presence on the Baltic Sea, allowing easier trade and naval access to western Europe..

Down in the palace armoury sat a man who did not approve of the Czar’s policy. But there was little he could do. War was declared, and he knew that he must simply make the best of it. The armies of Tver were ready to move westwards that day – and this man was always ready. A veteran of conflicts from glorious battles on European plains to philosophical disagreements in the entirely reputable beverage-selling establishments of Paisley, Mirin Janusz Dobczyński knew as well as any soldier the importance of regular, thorough maintenance of one’s weapon. His hefty guns were well-oiled and shining, his sword freshly polished.

‘You spend a lot of time looking after your weapon, Dobczyński.’

Dobczyński looked up as the Czar entered.

‘You can never spend too much time on your weapon, sir.’

‘So I gather.’ The Czar reached to his straining belt, and unsheathed his pistol. The weapon was ornate, of a pleasing shape, but somewhat lacking in size (and, Dobczyński suspected, reliability). ‘Any tips?’

dobkoninarm_zps37e39fb7.png


‘If you wish, sir. A common mistake...’ Donczyński elevated his huge musket to facilitate closer inspection is to focus too much on the barrel. It’s tempting, I know – I used to make the same mistake. Working the barrel gives immediate, quick, pleasing results. But don’t restrict yourself to the shaft!’

‘What else should one work on?’

‘The whole package. All parts of the musket will benefit from a good seeing-to. Especially the balls.’

‘Why would you work on your balls?’

‘You don’t maintain your balls before an action?’

‘Never thought of it.’

Kurka! You’re missing out, son. Work on the balls as well as the musket. You need control of this weapon. To be efficient! Any idiot can fire off their shot quickly, but what good’s that on its own? Useless. Check out your balls, get a good feel for them, and I guarantee improved performance.’

‘Interesting. I’ll bear that in mind.’

‘You’d better, sir. We move at dawn, and you’re leading the 7th Army into Danish territory.’

‘I am?’

‘You are. You wanted this glorious war, so you’re going to be right at the front, inspiring the troops with heroic deeds.’

‘I’d rather not be that near the front...’

‘Come now, sir! Chin up! What’s the motto of the Order of the Bear, our glorious knightly order? The stirring words of optimism first uttered in our distant past to inspire the Princes of Tver to greatness?’

‘Isn’t there plenty that can go wrong?’

‘That’s not the p...you’re a lost cause, aren’t you?’

The die having been firmly cast onto the specially reinforced table, Dobczyński had decided it best to fully commit to the enterprise. A multi-forked attack was employed into the Baltic territories (as well as on the Czar’s dinner plate), allowing Tverian forces to besiege multiple provinces, but also to quickly reassemble in case the Danish army decided to engage – or, worse, those of Liege and her British allies.

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Fortune, though, was smiling on the Czar’s enterprise: the feared regiments of Liege would not be joining the Danes on the field of battle, dishonouring their alliance. Already at war with the witless Austrians, the Liegian troops did not want to face another powerful opponent – they were already restraining themselves from smashing Austria into the ground using only their fists, and knew that were they to go to war with Tver, they would be tipped over The Edge and unleash their hellish fury upon the empires of Europe, laying the entire continent to waste.

026liegedishonour_zpsee74a9a0.png


Once more the Czar was at the forefront of the fighting, sweeping majestically through the broken walls of the enemy fortresses (widening the breach in the process). With no significant Danish forces present in the Baltic theatre, Tverian soldiers were able to rapidly take control of Estonia and Livonia.

027balticcoasttaken_zpsef24f9ef.png


The great Nikolai Kholmsky, Professor of Philosophy at the Imperial University of Tver, wrote a book, informing people that life was ‘just generally pretty damn awesome’. This information spread great joy and happiness throughout the Empire.

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With the Baltic coast under Tverian control, Czar Konstantin looked to advance troops further into Scandinavia.

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The Danish navy, however, was having none of it. The moved into the Sea of Aland, preventing Tverian troops from making the crossing, forcing them to reroute all their men, horse and artillery around the Gulf of Bothnia by foot.

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Dobczyński was concerned.

‘Sir, we don’t need that many soldiers.’

‘But it’ll be quicker this way! Lots of soldiers, rush the fortresses. It’s most exhilarating! And my doctor says that I need the exercise.’

‘Much as I would love you to throw yourself into more assaults, sir, we should be cautious. First we need to deal with the Danish army. They’ve moved into Prussia to try and take them out of the war.’

‘Very well, very well. I will deal with them myself!’

‘Ready to move, sir!’

‘Not you, Dobczyński! I can deal with this myself – you lead the push through Sweden!’

‘What?’

‘You think that I can’t defeat them? I have other generals, Dobczyński. I’m getting tired of your insubordination. I want a push through Scandinavia, and I will have it! Who is the Czar?’

‘...’

‘Well, then! Get moving! Northwards, with you! I will handle things in Prussia!’

031konattacksdaneswarmia_zpsaa87a50a.png



‘I briňg iňtérésting tidiňgs, my Lórd.’

‘Iňtérésting, yóu sáy...’



receivedreport_zps8d3b8112.png


The Czar’s assessment of the situation in Prussia proved accurate. The Danes fought hard, but the superior numbers of the Tverian force and their Prussian allies were more than sufficient to rout them from the field. History would credit the Czar’s brilliant generalship, rather than that of his vassal, the Grand Duke of Prussia, because the Czar was the Czar and the Grand Duke wasn’t.

032danesbeatenwarmia_zpsd1963c1e.png



Áňď hé hás beeň ďispátchéd to Scándinaviá?’

‘Yés, my Lórd.’

‘Leáving thé idiót wéakling in full cóntról óf the Tverian ármies?’

‘Yés, my lórd.’

A wicked smile.

‘Thén it seems, my frieńd, thát thé hour hás come...’



aleaiactaest_zps63522b90.png


Their army defeated, the Danes realised that they could not win this war. The King of Denmark asked the Czar for peace, offering provinces and reparations. Konstantin smiled.

‘Ha! They are broken. A little more pressure and we can take all of their Baltic provinces!’

033daneswantpax_zps282f72ed.png


‘Commit all our remaining soldiers to dealing with Denmark’s allies! A westward push!’

Colonel Sheleshpansky, Dobczyński’s second-in-command, looked concerned.

‘Sir, we have few enough troops guarding our western territories.’

‘The Danes have no soldiers left, fool!’

‘Dobczyński has twice as many men as he needs to attack Denmark’s heartland, and their allies are no threat to us. We will leave ourselves vulnerable!’

‘Nonsense! You share your tutor’s paranoia – are you a Russian or a Polono-Scot mongrel?’

‘I am a Tverian sir!’

‘Then prove it! Move against the Palatinate! Another vassal for our realm! Go!’

Sheleshpansky left so quickly that the court artist was unable to record his army’s departure.

ridemacedonians_zpsc38ee4c0.png


The Czar walked to the window and looked out upon the palace gardens.

‘My territory expands further. My empire stretches from Siberia to Poland – and soon to the Baltic coast. What need have I of these worthless advisors? The Dobczyńskis, so beloved of my forefathers. He is called a hero yet he whines like a beaten dog when I give him orders. The longer he remains in Scandinavia the better. Yes, what is it?’

alliswellohaletter_zps8ca3739f.png


‘A letter for you from my master, my Emperor.’

‘Am I your master or your Emperor?’

‘...my Emperor. My master is my master.’

‘But you said that your Emperor was your master.’

‘No, there was a gap between...’

‘Do you deny my, boy?’

‘Sir...your majesty...’

‘Surely your majesty as well, no?’

‘Would you just read the letter?’

‘Oh, very well...’ Konstantin sighed. ‘More time-wasting. Imperial Majesty...hum num num borders...yes, spheres of influence...a curse on your seventh grandfather yes yes.what

hmmyesyeskurka_zps7f987e91.png


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‘No, no, this can’t be...’

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‘You aren’t serious about this, it’s all a...’

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‘...Dobczyński?’

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‘DOBCZYŃSKIIIIIIIIII!!!!!’
 
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By the orchards of Tver! I had to check twice to make sure Liege wasn't on that list. Lucky break there.

Well, I hope our plucky Scot-Polono enjoys his Scandinavian vacation. I'm sure Konstantin can handle this on his own.
 
The coaliton of the Double-Tailed Lion strikes! Can you show us a diplomatic screenshot of all the enemies?

It will take some work, but your men are no longer morons. They can take the challenge!
 
This is all part of the plan. Bohemia and her allies die in the russian winter and the Tverian armies march in via Sweden and Denmark to backstab em when they are all busy starving in the cold.

(let's hope denmark accepts terms before you need to cross the Oresund)
 
That Bohemian declaration is an impressive list of foes. As impressive as that list is, the guests may bring significant others along with them. I liked how the Tzar went from teaching Dobczynski a lesson to demanding his attendance - and that even the tiger is scared of the tzar. Life doesn't get much worse. Great sense of timing from the guy who published his book on how life was pretty darn good, just before the declaration of war. Nifty headgear on that Bohemian squad -wearing lunch is a great idea. Didn't see the squad's corporal, though. My knees did quake for Tver has always struggled against soldiers with fine moustaches. Hope the Tzar recalled that army en route for the Palatinate.

Scandinavia is a fine place for Dobczynski's vacation. Tver will win.
 
Dobczyński sure has an interesting approach to gun control. Seems to work, though; even after significant campaigning in Scandinavia, Tver and allies at least have more infantry than the entire HRE coalition... for now. Regardless, most of the HRE minors are going to have to trudge all the way through Germany to get to Tver, and that might make them suffer some attrition even before the Tverian winter does.

That's assuming my mods of choice haven't permanently screwed up my perception of supply limits in this game.
 


And while we're at it, a House of Rurikovich (so far) tree - I think this might come in handy. Adding it to the first post as well :)

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