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superb ... a mix of Kill Bill and Crouching Tiger et al ...
with an entry like that, Maria really is the correct ruler for Tver
with an entry like that, Maria really is the correct ruler for Tver
I do so enjoy these peaceful change of Tver Tsars. I notice the ninjas had a change of colour scheme and Maria's no slouch in the quick change routine either. Maria is an excellent swordmistress. Learned all she knows from Dobzycnski, who may need a stiff drink after his exertions.
The Gravity of Tsar Alexander's Fall from Power cannot be overstated. It feels like a fundamental law...that succession in Tver be carried out in the most ironic way possible.
Alseksandr, like a good scientist he is, had to collect more empirical data on his theory before writing it down. Now Maria has to take Oxfordshire before Newton usurps the right to the theory of her father!
Phenomenal stuff as ever. Loved the wink and what seems a small nod towards QTEs with regards to Dobczyński's dealing with the ninja (unsurprisingly he was on time, as ever, Dobczyński never one to 'click' prematurely!). Great stuff, and a great new ruler for Tver.
Wishing you a tverrific Christmas and a cracking new year!
Wishing you a tverrific Christmas and a cracking new year!
Hello all. No update yet, and it'll be a bit longer. I'd meant to say a quick Merry Christmas (and do a wee Christmas cartoon) before Christmas, but I was ill for a few days before and then flew to Poland on the 23rd. I might do something for New Year when I get back, I'll see how it goes. 
Otherwise, it'll be a bit longer, but fear not - Tver's finest shall return shortly. Until then, a belated Merry Christmas, God bless you all, and enjoy your festivities
Otherwise, it'll be a bit longer, but fear not - Tver's finest shall return shortly. Until then, a belated Merry Christmas, God bless you all, and enjoy your festivities
Ah the succession is secured...Ninjas...How is the Land of the Rising Sun making out?
I'm surprised at this point the Tsar can move around without a division of Imperial Guards crowding him. Dobczyński is good but alas quantity has a quality all its own.
I'm surprised at this point the Tsar can move around without a division of Imperial Guards crowding him. Dobczyński is good but alas quantity has a quality all its own.
@ Omen: Aleksandr knew his place in the scheme of things - as should we all
@ loki100: Why thank you. Next stop Woodhousian dialogue with Tarantino-esque action set to a Clash sountrack?
@ Chief Ragusa: As a Polono-Scot, Dobczyński is never averse to a stiff drink! And yes, the assassins' colour scheme was changed in response to reader feedback
@ RGB: That, certainly, is the standard we aspire to!
@ Memento Mori: Indeed - let the building of a huge navy commence. For science, you understand!
@ Deus Eversor: Dobczyński is a very careful man. Besides, none of them can be his children: they'd have to be at least 9/8/9!
@ DGuller: Arguably, though is it failure when Aleksandr half-wanted Maria to succeed?
@ homy_dog34: I've had one almost dialogue-free comic before and it seemed to go down well, so I thought I'd do another
@ morningSIDEr: Your eagle eye is as perceptive as ever: I was indeed nodding towards QTEs, specifically Mass Effect 2/3's Renegade Interrupts. Too kind as ever, and hope that you didn't have too Sokky a Sokmanay!
@ blsteen: I'll try and remember to do a screenie of the far east for you And a fair point about the Czars, although one suspects that the next Rurikovich in line would find a way through a small army pretty easily...
@ loki100: Why thank you. Next stop Woodhousian dialogue with Tarantino-esque action set to a Clash sountrack?
@ Chief Ragusa: As a Polono-Scot, Dobczyński is never averse to a stiff drink! And yes, the assassins' colour scheme was changed in response to reader feedback
@ RGB: That, certainly, is the standard we aspire to!
@ Memento Mori: Indeed - let the building of a huge navy commence. For science, you understand!
@ Deus Eversor: Dobczyński is a very careful man. Besides, none of them can be his children: they'd have to be at least 9/8/9!
@ DGuller: Arguably, though is it failure when Aleksandr half-wanted Maria to succeed?
@ homy_dog34: I've had one almost dialogue-free comic before and it seemed to go down well, so I thought I'd do another
@ morningSIDEr: Your eagle eye is as perceptive as ever: I was indeed nodding towards QTEs, specifically Mass Effect 2/3's Renegade Interrupts. Too kind as ever, and hope that you didn't have too Sokky a Sokmanay!
@ blsteen: I'll try and remember to do a screenie of the far east for you
And a fair point about the Czars, although one suspects that the next Rurikovich in line would find a way through a small army pretty easily...
Episode XLVIII: Happy New Tver
Czarina Maria Rurikovich swept into her study in majestic fashion, the dark red cloak of the Princes of Tver wrapped around her powerful shoulders, an ornate sword clanking at her belt. Blonde and blue-eyed like her father, she was an intimidating presence – unless, of course, you were the man upon whom she was advancing.
‘Dobczyński.’
Mirin Janusz Dobczyński, half-Polish, half-Scottish and all Dobczyński, rose. He also stood up.
‘Czarina.’
‘What news of my beloved brother?’
‘He’ll be fine, Czarina.’
‘Damn. I mean, thank the Lord!’
‘Well, mostly fine.’
‘Meaning?’
‘He took a bit of a battering after he fell down the stairs for no obvious reason having been talking to you a few seconds beforehand in very mysterious circumstances.’
‘Is there a chance that he won’t live? I mean...he will live, I pray?’
‘Oh, he’ll live, Czarina. But I fear that his...faculties may not develop to their full potential.’
‘Maybe it would be kinder to...’
‘No, Czarina. It wouldn’t.’
‘No, no. Of course not. We will look after him. Protect him! I am a charitable monarch, after all!’
‘ [iVery[/i] charitable, Czarina.’
‘Kind?’
‘Impeccably.’
‘Big-hearted?’
‘Would explain the size of your charities...’
‘So. Ready to begin my fencing lesson, Maestro Dobczyński?’
‘Certainly, Czarina.’ Dobczyński unsheathed his mighty sabre. He was well-versed in the art of most swords, but it was as a sabre fencer that he was best-known (in fencing terms, at least). Young aristocrats had crossed Europe to study swordsmanship under the famed Mijado, though they were usually surprised to find that he wasn’t Spanish. The Czarina had been his pupil for a long time, at the insistence of her father in spite of Dobczyński’s warnings – accurate warnings – that she might use such skills to gain the crown. Her father, though, had been a great believer in natural selection...
The lesson proceeded. The Czarina was as good as anyone Dobczyński had trained – though, as usual, it wasn’t easy to teach her the subtler arts of swordsmanship.
‘You’re gripping too hard, Czarina. Too rough. Be gentle.’
‘Sorry. But as I was saying, Dobczyński. I’m newly invested. The people, and the nobility, need to know what I am made of, what kind of ruler they are in for. As the great Mikhail III said, a prince must be firm...’
‘I agree.’
‘...but also loved. I have decided to demonstrate my generosity.’
‘Your garments do that very nicely.’
‘In memory of my beloved father, I will present a new Education Act to Parliament. Broaden compulsory education through the churches, expand access to our universities.’
‘ I’m sure that it will be popular, and effective.’
‘You don’t think it’ll face opposition?’
‘Leave it with me. I can be very persuasive.’ He flashed. A roguish grin. ‘And don’t get too close. Watch your distance.’
‘Sorry, maestro. Your prowess is magnetic.’
‘Talking of swords, the eastern colonies are rapidly increasing in size and wealth. ‘
‘What’s that got to do with swords?’
‘Berezov has fine iron deposits, which will come in useful later. Lots more trade income for Novgorod and Astrakhan.’
‘Good news. By the way, an opening has come up in the Privy Council.’
‘I heard. The tragic demise of Prime Minister Kamerov. Calling the ordinary people of Tver a bunch of “workshy scroungers” isn’t a good idea when you’re standing in a market square. Boosted local pitchfork sales, though.’
‘Gave a new meaning to “Military Drill”.’
‘Talking of Military Drill...’ Dobcyński nimbly sidestepped the Czarina’s heavy downward slash, and his blade flashed up to her throat.
‘Piercing my defences again, Dobczyński?’
‘Subtlety. I admire your strength, Czarina, but you’re too forceful. Heavy-handed. Maybe you Russians don’t have the...refinement.’
‘You might be surprised...but on the Council. Could you keep them in order until I find a suitable long-term replacement?’
‘Councils aren’t really my thing. You might have to convince me.’
‘Gladly. Lacking in subtlety, you said?’
‘Afraid so.’
‘I need your opinion on my new perfume, maestro.’
‘Perfume?’
'Just a quick sniff...indulge me.'
'If you insist...'
Dobczyński didn’t remember much else about that day – there was definitely furniture, rope and fruit involved, and minimal decision-making on his part - but he was most certainly...persuaded.
The following day brought further good news – a majority of the citizens of Kyiv were now, once again, following the Orthodox faith.
There were difficulties – an apprentice at the Guild of Cartographers accidentally spilled pink paint over their main map of the world. He was sentenced to six months unpaid work in the Tverian diplomatic corps.
To the east, the war with the Siberian Khanate has reached its climax, and their territories were fully under Imperial control. The Czarina had made subjugation a priority – as Dobczyński had discovered the previous evening – and extended this philosophy to relations with Sibir.
The Khanate’s territories were ruthlessly annexed and integrated into the Empire of Tver, stretching her eastern borders ever more bountifully. Free from serious military opposition on the eastern front, the Empire was expanding further towards the Pacific.
Such expansion had its drawbacks – the international community was becoming increasingly worried by Tver’s willingness to take over new territories, especially in light of their recent acquisitions at the expense of Hungary. The western powers cast worried glances towards the Empire, while the Islamic countries to the south and east quaked in fear of this ruthless new aggressor.
‘Do you think that it will be a problem, Dobczyński?’
‘It’s manageable, Czarina. People will stop bothering about it within a few years. And we’ve got Horde territory to colonise for the next wave of eastward expansion – nobody’s bothered about that.’
‘Except the Hordes.’
‘Well, you’re not asking your opinion.’
‘Much like I wasn’t asking yours yesterday?’
‘Well, indeed. And I didn’t complain.’
‘Could you have?’
‘It was a rather large apple...I think the point of the matter is, Czarina, that your comparative infamy isn’t a problem.’
‘Good. Bad girls have more fun anyway.’
Another profitable year had passed in the Empire of Tver. The western threat seemed to be reduced, for the moment at least, and colonisation of the east was proceeding well. As the snows closed in on the capital of Eurasia, Czarina Maria raised a glass with her retainer.
‘Na zdrowie, Dobczyński.’
‘Slainte mhar, Czarina. To another bountiful year.’
They stood in the courtyard of the cathedral, its great bell tower hovering above them, waiting for the moment.
‘By the way, Czarina, where’s your brother gone?’
‘Konnie? Don’t know. He was here a minute ago.’
The answer came from above. A single bell tolled, a muffled note, unclean, unclear. It rang again. And again.
Maria sighed. ‘Dobczyński, can you go up and get him? He’s starting to annoy me.’
‘You did throw him down the stairs two years ago, Czarina. He’s allowed to be a bit annoying.’
‘It was educational! Toughened him up! But he’s getting on my nerves.’
‘You’re his sister, Czarina. You don’t want to come with me?’
‘I’ve got better things to do than go charging up steps. Go on. He won’t bite you.’
‘He did last time.’
‘You got too close! He’s only ten! Go on, Dobczyński, get him down from there.’
‘There better be a reward for this.’
‘If I said there was more than one set of fireworks planned for this evening...’
‘Going.’
‘Good boy.’ The door slammed behind him. Maria smiled. ‘Ah, Dobczyński. A hero on the battlefield but afraid of an idiot child.’ She shook her head.
‘What could possibly go wrong?’
Czarina Maria Rurikovich swept into her study in majestic fashion, the dark red cloak of the Princes of Tver wrapped around her powerful shoulders, an ornate sword clanking at her belt. Blonde and blue-eyed like her father, she was an intimidating presence – unless, of course, you were the man upon whom she was advancing.
‘Dobczyński.’
Mirin Janusz Dobczyński, half-Polish, half-Scottish and all Dobczyński, rose. He also stood up.
‘Czarina.’
‘What news of my beloved brother?’
‘He’ll be fine, Czarina.’
‘Damn. I mean, thank the Lord!’
‘Well, mostly fine.’
‘Meaning?’
‘He took a bit of a battering after he fell down the stairs for no obvious reason having been talking to you a few seconds beforehand in very mysterious circumstances.’
‘Is there a chance that he won’t live? I mean...he will live, I pray?’
‘Oh, he’ll live, Czarina. But I fear that his...faculties may not develop to their full potential.’
‘Maybe it would be kinder to...’
‘No, Czarina. It wouldn’t.’
‘No, no. Of course not. We will look after him. Protect him! I am a charitable monarch, after all!’
‘ [iVery[/i] charitable, Czarina.’
‘Kind?’
‘Impeccably.’
‘Big-hearted?’
‘Would explain the size of your charities...’
‘So. Ready to begin my fencing lesson, Maestro Dobczyński?’
‘Certainly, Czarina.’ Dobczyński unsheathed his mighty sabre. He was well-versed in the art of most swords, but it was as a sabre fencer that he was best-known (in fencing terms, at least). Young aristocrats had crossed Europe to study swordsmanship under the famed Mijado, though they were usually surprised to find that he wasn’t Spanish. The Czarina had been his pupil for a long time, at the insistence of her father in spite of Dobczyński’s warnings – accurate warnings – that she might use such skills to gain the crown. Her father, though, had been a great believer in natural selection...
The lesson proceeded. The Czarina was as good as anyone Dobczyński had trained – though, as usual, it wasn’t easy to teach her the subtler arts of swordsmanship.
‘You’re gripping too hard, Czarina. Too rough. Be gentle.’
‘Sorry. But as I was saying, Dobczyński. I’m newly invested. The people, and the nobility, need to know what I am made of, what kind of ruler they are in for. As the great Mikhail III said, a prince must be firm...’
‘I agree.’
‘...but also loved. I have decided to demonstrate my generosity.’
‘Your garments do that very nicely.’
‘In memory of my beloved father, I will present a new Education Act to Parliament. Broaden compulsory education through the churches, expand access to our universities.’
‘ I’m sure that it will be popular, and effective.’
‘You don’t think it’ll face opposition?’
‘Leave it with me. I can be very persuasive.’ He flashed. A roguish grin. ‘And don’t get too close. Watch your distance.’
‘Sorry, maestro. Your prowess is magnetic.’
‘Talking of swords, the eastern colonies are rapidly increasing in size and wealth. ‘
‘What’s that got to do with swords?’
‘Berezov has fine iron deposits, which will come in useful later. Lots more trade income for Novgorod and Astrakhan.’
‘Good news. By the way, an opening has come up in the Privy Council.’
‘I heard. The tragic demise of Prime Minister Kamerov. Calling the ordinary people of Tver a bunch of “workshy scroungers” isn’t a good idea when you’re standing in a market square. Boosted local pitchfork sales, though.’
‘Gave a new meaning to “Military Drill”.’
‘Talking of Military Drill...’ Dobcyński nimbly sidestepped the Czarina’s heavy downward slash, and his blade flashed up to her throat.
‘Piercing my defences again, Dobczyński?’
‘Subtlety. I admire your strength, Czarina, but you’re too forceful. Heavy-handed. Maybe you Russians don’t have the...refinement.’
‘You might be surprised...but on the Council. Could you keep them in order until I find a suitable long-term replacement?’
‘Councils aren’t really my thing. You might have to convince me.’
‘Gladly. Lacking in subtlety, you said?’
‘Afraid so.’
‘I need your opinion on my new perfume, maestro.’
‘Perfume?’
'Just a quick sniff...indulge me.'
'If you insist...'
Dobczyński didn’t remember much else about that day – there was definitely furniture, rope and fruit involved, and minimal decision-making on his part - but he was most certainly...persuaded.
The following day brought further good news – a majority of the citizens of Kyiv were now, once again, following the Orthodox faith.
There were difficulties – an apprentice at the Guild of Cartographers accidentally spilled pink paint over their main map of the world. He was sentenced to six months unpaid work in the Tverian diplomatic corps.
To the east, the war with the Siberian Khanate has reached its climax, and their territories were fully under Imperial control. The Czarina had made subjugation a priority – as Dobczyński had discovered the previous evening – and extended this philosophy to relations with Sibir.
The Khanate’s territories were ruthlessly annexed and integrated into the Empire of Tver, stretching her eastern borders ever more bountifully. Free from serious military opposition on the eastern front, the Empire was expanding further towards the Pacific.
Such expansion had its drawbacks – the international community was becoming increasingly worried by Tver’s willingness to take over new territories, especially in light of their recent acquisitions at the expense of Hungary. The western powers cast worried glances towards the Empire, while the Islamic countries to the south and east quaked in fear of this ruthless new aggressor.
‘Do you think that it will be a problem, Dobczyński?’
‘It’s manageable, Czarina. People will stop bothering about it within a few years. And we’ve got Horde territory to colonise for the next wave of eastward expansion – nobody’s bothered about that.’
‘Except the Hordes.’
‘Well, you’re not asking your opinion.’
‘Much like I wasn’t asking yours yesterday?’
‘Well, indeed. And I didn’t complain.’
‘Could you have?’
‘It was a rather large apple...I think the point of the matter is, Czarina, that your comparative infamy isn’t a problem.’
‘Good. Bad girls have more fun anyway.’
Another profitable year had passed in the Empire of Tver. The western threat seemed to be reduced, for the moment at least, and colonisation of the east was proceeding well. As the snows closed in on the capital of Eurasia, Czarina Maria raised a glass with her retainer.
‘Na zdrowie, Dobczyński.’
‘Slainte mhar, Czarina. To another bountiful year.’
They stood in the courtyard of the cathedral, its great bell tower hovering above them, waiting for the moment.
‘By the way, Czarina, where’s your brother gone?’
‘Konnie? Don’t know. He was here a minute ago.’
The answer came from above. A single bell tolled, a muffled note, unclean, unclear. It rang again. And again.
Maria sighed. ‘Dobczyński, can you go up and get him? He’s starting to annoy me.’
‘You did throw him down the stairs two years ago, Czarina. He’s allowed to be a bit annoying.’
‘It was educational! Toughened him up! But he’s getting on my nerves.’
‘You’re his sister, Czarina. You don’t want to come with me?’
‘I’ve got better things to do than go charging up steps. Go on. He won’t bite you.’
‘He did last time.’
‘You got too close! He’s only ten! Go on, Dobczyński, get him down from there.’
‘There better be a reward for this.’
‘If I said there was more than one set of fireworks planned for this evening...’
‘Going.’
‘Good boy.’ The door slammed behind him. Maria smiled. ‘Ah, Dobczyński. A hero on the battlefield but afraid of an idiot child.’ She shook her head.
‘What could possibly go wrong?’
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sounds a good idea to me
poor Maria felled by the bells, you'd think after the awful demise of Aleksandr she would have been more aware of the dangers of gravity?
the fencing scene with the great dobbie was indeed pretty inspiring stuff
Excellent foreshadowing.
Dobczyński will miss the rope and fruit, but hopefully Tver will survive both the Regency and the . . . less than stellar nature of their new Prince.
Dobczyński will miss the rope and fruit, but hopefully Tver will survive both the Regency and the . . . less than stellar nature of their new Prince.
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
that dominatrix romance thingie was so refreshing
that dominatrix romance thingie was so refreshing
Dobby is clearly not running the regency, what an inspriring level of competence o.o.
Well that certainly went out with a clang, not with a whimper.
Unlike what happened yesterday...
...and Maria's reign: didn't last that long.
Unlike what happened yesterday!
I could go on, but what's the point? We know for whom the bell tolls.
(Fun fact: Ivan the Terrible was a big fan of playing the bells on the belltower when he was a child. During his mother's regency council).
Unlike what happened yesterday...
...and Maria's reign: didn't last that long.
Unlike what happened yesterday!
I could go on, but what's the point? We know for whom the bell tolls.
(Fun fact: Ivan the Terrible was a big fan of playing the bells on the belltower when he was a child. During his mother's regency council).
What a poor regent and equally poor monarch. Putting him down was one of Maria's better ideas. Konstantin is too thick and too young to have devised the scheme to kill Maria. How much longer must Tver endure that eyesore ithat marrs the otherwise tranquil blue of the realm's expanse?