Episode XXIV: Tverestroika
Dobczyński strode into the prince’s study, a pile of reports under his arm. Mikhael III, Prince of Tver, owned the finest library west of Germany, its shelves creaking under the weight of books on art, politics, religion, botany, taxonomy, and a hundred other subjects. Many were pristine first editions, although the fact that the printing press had only existed since 1440 rather negated this statistic.
The literary collection of this most splendid bibliophile, though, was not the focus of Dobczyński’s attention as he closed the study door behind him. He was rather distracted by the elegant female reclining on the prince’s favourite couch. Under normal circumstances, to be interrupted by such a female, with large, green eyes, finely toned legs and a sultry smile would be a most pleasant experience. The situation was altered not by the sitter’s assets, but by her species.
‘
Hej Puśka.’
Pusia continued to stare at him intently.
‘Is he...you know...’ He gestured around the room.
Pusia grinned, and gave a soft growl. Her elegant tongue licked her lips.
‘I...I need to talk to him, if that’s possible...’
The Siberian tiger inclined her head towards the door behind her, which led onto a private balcony where Mikhael liked to sit and read.
‘Right...I’ll just go and knock...’
Her eyes watched him. They were impossibly coquettish for a two metre-long hyper-evolved killing machine.
‘
Dobry kot...dobra kocia...’ Dobczyński slowly edged towards the door and, as a result, towards the smiling feline.
The issue was resolved for him, as the door opened, and Mikhael Rurikovich entered, a French edition of the Gospel of Luke in his hand. He smiled as he saw Dobczyński, and gestured for him to sit at the chair opposite that occupied by Pusia. Dobczyński gently eased himself into the chair, not taking his eyes off the tigress as Mikhael gently lifted her onto his lap.
‘So! Dobczyński. What has been happening?’
‘We managed to set aside some funds, sir, and begin work on the mighty Tverian Navy.’
‘Excellent. Once our new warships are finished, our pirate troubles will be over.’
‘Yes, sir. Though if the Swedes did their pirate-hunting properly we wouldn’t need to.’
‘They tried to, Dobczyński, but they don’t have a navy anymore.’
‘The pirates destroyed them? The British? Spanish?’
‘Nothing so glorious. When building them, they had inserted Sprocket C twenty-three into Hole G fourteen instead of fifteen.’
‘Idiots.’
‘I know. Within minutes of launch? Glug glug glug. Bottom of Oresund.’ He sighed a weary sigh. ‘Anyway. It matters not. Besides, all mighty nations should have a suitably mighty navy. Looks good in paintings.’
‘Yes, sir. On the decorations, sir...’
‘Yes?’
‘Well, I can understand the flagship,
Aleksandr II, having a bear as the figurehead. That’s sensible.’
‘And?’
‘Well...are you sure it’s sensible to have the
Konstantin II’s figurehead as a
tiger?’
‘Absolutely! A reflection of his tenacious personality!’
‘Not inappropriate?’
‘Also, we don’t have many leopards. The tiger is fine. What’s next?’
‘Very well, sir. The Second Army has made another advance into Horde territory.’
‘Excellent. We need to end this fight as soon as possible. Our men need rest, Dobczyński, as does the economy.’
‘Agreed, sir. Oh, and Professor Kholmsky has some enw ideas about how we can equip our infantryman. They have made me approximately five percent happier.’
‘Five percent happier? Can’t argue with that.’
A guard entered, saluted, and handed Dobczyński some new reports.
‘Ah. The Horde have surrendered, sir.’
‘Splendid.’
‘And the Prime Minister ahs some new ideas about how the nation can be run, sir.’
‘Which are?’
‘Hmm...you might want to burn this one, Dobczyński.’
‘Why, sir?’
‘I don’t think we’re quite
ready for democracy yet. It’s an expensive business. And destabilising. Besides, it would leave Nobles in charge.’
‘Aren’t you a Noble, sir?’
‘I am a Prince, Dobczyński. There is a difference.’
‘Oh.’
‘Anyway. Redirect our military efforts. I want the Kazakhs driven out of Europe.’
The battle for Voronezh was bloody, with heavy casualties on the Tverian side, but ultimately, the Kazakhs were defeated.
Another country, though, was taking far too much interest in the region for Mikhael’s liking. Another beneficiary of the Golden Horde’s collapse, the Kingdom of Hungary had made rapid gains towards the east, through Polish and Lithuanian territory and into Ukraine and Crimea. Now, her diplomats were not only looking at the heathen steppe nomads as potential areas of expansion, but to the kingdoms of Russia.
Hungary’s conduct in the region was akin to someone walking into an all-you-can-eat restaurant, taking all the food to one table, then starting to eat it very, very slowly, leaving nothing for anybody else. They had conquered huge swathes of Horde territory, but had only colonised a few provinces. Mikhael was becoming annoyed by their conduct, though he did not yet show it: he would wait until the Principality was more settled. Then, it would be time to cut the greedy westerners down to size. He ordered a ceramic pig to be sent to the king of Hungary, leaving him free to interpret the gesture as he saw fit.
In better news, though, the Vladimir region had been successfully re-converted to the Orthodox faith.
The war with the Kazakhs continued. Tver was not in a position to colonise the nomads’ European territories, but wished to occupy enough of their lands to force them to concede defeat and end the war.
The collapse of the Golden Horde was still causing its problems for Tver, as more Qasim Khanate Nationalists made their way over the border, clearly unable to read the sign that said ‘Tver, not Qasim Khanate’ in fourteen languages.
Further trouble was caused as the royal cook fell down a manhole while collecting ingredients in Vologda.
At sea, though, things were going well, as the Principality’s two new carracks were launched into the White Sea, and swiftly hunted down and destroyed the pirates that had plagued her coastal towns for some fifty years.
The carracks had been constructed at great expense, and much of the timber for their construction had come from the donations of wooden furniture by the nobility. However, the King of Sweden was grateful for Tver ridding his eastern coast of pirates, and allowed Tver’s merchants back into the flat-packed furniture markets of Lappland. Many ornamental chairs and tables were purchased – but no warships.
Dobczyński sat down to plan the next phase of their campaign. At least all was safe within Tver herself.
He felt a gentle stroking sensation on his back. A playful
purrrrr.
Almost everything.