Why is Norway a different colour to what it normally is?
Oh, now you have a coastline. Get working on your naval research!
Oh, now you have a coastline. Get working on your naval research!
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Very good stuff!
A Jambo then? I like him already!
As is typical for a Hearts fan.
The usual kind of reaction a Hearts fan will bring out in any woman.
This too is-uhm, nevermind.
A Jambo then? I like him already!
As is typical for a Hearts fan.
The usual kind of reaction a Hearts fan will bring out in any woman.
This too is-uhm, nevermind.
@tamius23: It's a knock-on effect: I changed Scotland's colour to Kraków's sky blue to stop them clashing with Castille, but the new colour clashed with Norway - so I changed Norway to Thuringia's grey. Planning to change Prussia to Prussian blue at some point but not sure what the best colour code would be...
And yes. Time to build up a mighty NaTvy! Though I'm worried that, given the aforeseen competence of Tverian sailors - even while landlocked - some of the new recruits will load a Cog up with cabbage and vodka, get horribly lost, and end up starting the Sino-Russian war four hundred years early.
@morningSIDEr: Well, he's Orthodox, so he's not going to be a dirty Hibbie is he? Although he isn't planning to sell Tver to a shady Lithuanian banker.
Although you have given me an idea for a new advisor...
(Also edited a few typos and things)
And yes. Time to build up a mighty NaTvy! Though I'm worried that, given the aforeseen competence of Tverian sailors - even while landlocked - some of the new recruits will load a Cog up with cabbage and vodka, get horribly lost, and end up starting the Sino-Russian war four hundred years early.
@morningSIDEr: Well, he's Orthodox, so he's not going to be a dirty Hibbie is he? Although he isn't planning to sell Tver to a shady Lithuanian banker.
Although you have given me an idea for a new advisor...
(Also edited a few typos and things)
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Ah! An irritatingly handsome reign begins. I hope that if Tver's new king actually participates in battle his attire will aid his troops as much as his father's did. Also, the horde are annoying. Hopefully with you new land, you will be able to smite them mightily.
Great update!
Great update!
The Horde is going to be a serious issue if some state (ahem) can't start laying the beat down. And of course the Danes.
Thanks to all readers for your advice and suggestions. Happy Christmas / Frohe Weihnachten / Wesołych Świąt, God bless you all, and Aleksandr and Dobczyński will return in a few days 
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Episode VI: Iustitia Et Tveritas
Dobczyński was sat at his desk, daydreaming. It had been a quiet couple of years, with the wars with Novgorod and the Horde concluded. But they would be back. No negotiation, no plan, just legions of dribbling loons charging across the country making a mess with no apparent objective other than damaging the countries that bordered them.
He was woken from his reverie as the door behind him creaked open. Aleksandr Rurikovich stepped out into the hallway, stretching his tall, muscular frame. Dobczyński turned to greet the sovereign of Tver.
The sight would have blinded a lesser man. A multitude of conflicting feelings strove for dominance within the young soldier’s brain.
‘Sire.’
‘Dobczyński.’
‘Sire. You are naked again.’
‘I believe in freedom, Dobczyński. For my people, as well as for myself. I, and all parts of me, will be free in my own house.’
‘So I can see, sir, try as I might not to.’
‘Excellent. So what else is happening?’ Aleksandr walked nonchalantly towards Dobczyński. Dobczyński sat down again, focusing very hard on the latest pile of reports.
‘The Horde are overrunning Poland and Lithuania again, sir.’
‘An opportunity?’
‘Possibly, sir...but Lithuania still have a large army. What they’re doing with it, I don’t know.’
‘Frustrating.’
‘Doubly so, sir, since some of our diplomats managed to start an argument over whether Polotsk is, in fact, a integral part of Tver.’
‘But of course it is. Everyone knows that.’
‘There is good news, sir. Revolts are breaking out throughout the Horde’s territories.’
‘And so they should be. They’ve hardly had any until now.’
‘The problem is, sir, that they have so many soldiers that they eventually crush most of the rebellions...and when a country does form, it gets vassalised straight away.’
‘Is it true that they have either vassalised or taken tribute from every country that they border except us and Ryazan?’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘Meaning that it is impossible for anyone to help us?’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘Boże mój...’
‘On the bright side, sir, we introduced new recruitment standards into the army, in accordance with your father’s wishes.’
‘We now have less morons?’
‘Less morons, and one more Commandant.’
‘He might come in useful. Hire him.’
‘Sir. The Horde are massing, though. They’re destroying the rebellions – which puts them right next to our territory.’
‘Five years is almost up. Maybe they won’t...’
‘No reason?’
‘No reason. They’re just illogical, unpleasant people.’
‘Then we must try and defend ourselves. I will lead the army myself.’
‘Will you be putting on some clothes first, sir?’
‘Of course, Dobczyński, don’t be ridiculous.’ He sighed. ‘Who goes into battle without a hat?’
Already at war with the neighbouring kingdom of Ryazan – also for no reason other than pure badness – the Horde spilled over into Tver itself. With a regiment of Ryazanians having already retreated into Tver, Aleksandr moved his troops to try and reinforce their brethren, and relieve the attack on the capital.
Sadly, though, the Ryazanians were overwhelmed, and the Horde were ready for the Tverian counter attack. Aleksandr and Dobczyński killed dozens of Tartars but, eventually, overwhelming number forced them to retreat.
The following battle of Beloozero was also a serious loss.
The Tverians retreated into Rzhev, only to face another legion of baying, motiveless Tartars.
As the Hordes thinned out to attack different settlements, Aleksandr, launched a final, bold counterattack against one of their smaller forces.
He could not see, however, the legion of Tartars advancing from the south, catching his army in the middle.
The battle was bloody, but the result never in doubt.
The Horder once again overran the lands of Tver...
Then retreated...
For no obvious reason, having achieved the annoyance of Tver and no gain for themselves. Such is the way of the Horde – and such it will remain until someone is able to stand up to them. For Tver, sadly, there will come only the five-yearly storm and violence as this invincible, illogical foe crashes against the gates.
Dobczyński was sat at his desk, daydreaming. It had been a quiet couple of years, with the wars with Novgorod and the Horde concluded. But they would be back. No negotiation, no plan, just legions of dribbling loons charging across the country making a mess with no apparent objective other than damaging the countries that bordered them.
He was woken from his reverie as the door behind him creaked open. Aleksandr Rurikovich stepped out into the hallway, stretching his tall, muscular frame. Dobczyński turned to greet the sovereign of Tver.
The sight would have blinded a lesser man. A multitude of conflicting feelings strove for dominance within the young soldier’s brain.
‘Sire.’
‘Dobczyński.’
‘Sire. You are naked again.’
‘I believe in freedom, Dobczyński. For my people, as well as for myself. I, and all parts of me, will be free in my own house.’
‘So I can see, sir, try as I might not to.’
‘Excellent. So what else is happening?’ Aleksandr walked nonchalantly towards Dobczyński. Dobczyński sat down again, focusing very hard on the latest pile of reports.
‘The Horde are overrunning Poland and Lithuania again, sir.’
‘An opportunity?’
‘Possibly, sir...but Lithuania still have a large army. What they’re doing with it, I don’t know.’
‘Frustrating.’
‘Doubly so, sir, since some of our diplomats managed to start an argument over whether Polotsk is, in fact, a integral part of Tver.’
‘But of course it is. Everyone knows that.’
‘There is good news, sir. Revolts are breaking out throughout the Horde’s territories.’
‘And so they should be. They’ve hardly had any until now.’
‘The problem is, sir, that they have so many soldiers that they eventually crush most of the rebellions...and when a country does form, it gets vassalised straight away.’
‘Is it true that they have either vassalised or taken tribute from every country that they border except us and Ryazan?’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘Meaning that it is impossible for anyone to help us?’
‘Yes, sir.’
‘Boże mój...’
‘On the bright side, sir, we introduced new recruitment standards into the army, in accordance with your father’s wishes.’
‘We now have less morons?’
‘Less morons, and one more Commandant.’
‘He might come in useful. Hire him.’
‘Sir. The Horde are massing, though. They’re destroying the rebellions – which puts them right next to our territory.’
‘Five years is almost up. Maybe they won’t...’
‘No reason?’
‘No reason. They’re just illogical, unpleasant people.’
‘Then we must try and defend ourselves. I will lead the army myself.’
‘Will you be putting on some clothes first, sir?’
‘Of course, Dobczyński, don’t be ridiculous.’ He sighed. ‘Who goes into battle without a hat?’
Already at war with the neighbouring kingdom of Ryazan – also for no reason other than pure badness – the Horde spilled over into Tver itself. With a regiment of Ryazanians having already retreated into Tver, Aleksandr moved his troops to try and reinforce their brethren, and relieve the attack on the capital.
Sadly, though, the Ryazanians were overwhelmed, and the Horde were ready for the Tverian counter attack. Aleksandr and Dobczyński killed dozens of Tartars but, eventually, overwhelming number forced them to retreat.
The following battle of Beloozero was also a serious loss.
The Tverians retreated into Rzhev, only to face another legion of baying, motiveless Tartars.
As the Hordes thinned out to attack different settlements, Aleksandr, launched a final, bold counterattack against one of their smaller forces.
He could not see, however, the legion of Tartars advancing from the south, catching his army in the middle.
The battle was bloody, but the result never in doubt.
The Horder once again overran the lands of Tver...
Then retreated...
For no obvious reason, having achieved the annoyance of Tver and no gain for themselves. Such is the way of the Horde – and such it will remain until someone is able to stand up to them. For Tver, sadly, there will come only the five-yearly storm and violence as this invincible, illogical foe crashes against the gates.
What is wrong with the horde that even a properly hatted, regal general doesn't stop them? Are they men, or robots?
Use of the 'Petiton for Redress' event in this update was nothing short of genius. Brilliantly stuff. Very vexing that the Horde has done the usual, decimating Tver's army for no real reason. I think Aleksandr should strongly consider having a new hat made for himself. Or some other piece of clothing so as to finally beat back the Horde.
Evening all. Yes, apologies for another rather humourless update (well, even more humourless than usual at least). I took the Horde's random beating better this time, though - didn't feel the same urge to smash the keyboard and make bizarre, twisted facial expressions while typing. Not losing any Provinces this time probably helped...
We'll just have to wait and see what happens in the next few game years: as noted, the Horde are totally surrounded by Vassals apart from me and the Lithuanians. This means that, unlike in most games, there's no way in for the von Habsblobs (actually, the King of Austria is a von Pfalz-Neumarkt - take that von Habsburgs!) or Snakehemia. They've vassalised Georgia in such a way that they don't border anyone non-Vassals or Hordes on the Asian side either, so the only countries they will actually fight are me and the Lithuanians. Infuriating.
We'll just have to wait and see what happens in the next few game years: as noted, the Horde are totally surrounded by Vassals apart from me and the Lithuanians. This means that, unlike in most games, there's no way in for the von Habsblobs (actually, the King of Austria is a von Pfalz-Neumarkt - take that von Habsburgs!) or Snakehemia. They've vassalised Georgia in such a way that they don't border anyone non-Vassals or Hordes on the Asian side either, so the only countries they will actually fight are me and the Lithuanians. Infuriating.
I like the dialogues in this, quick and to the point every time, keep up the good work.
This is a good and really fun read. Keep it coming. I'm excited to see how it continues.
Indeed, a considerable amount of humour was displayed even if the Horde came a Hording!
Very good
Still having trouble believing there are other people with my sense of humour!
Still having trouble believing there are other people with my sense of humour!
Episode VII: Tverni, Tvidi, Tvici
The door of the king’s study creaked open behind Dobczyński. The Polish soldier turned around and saluted as Aleksandr (II) Rurikovich advanced into the hallway.
‘Sleep well, sir?’
‘Yes, thenk you Dobczyński. Hev been up for an hour, in fekt. Was just polishing my sword.’
‘A good idea, sir. Should be done regularly.’
‘I thought so, Dobczyński.’
‘I could help you next time, sir. I always enjoy polishing your sword.’
‘Perheps next time, then, if not too much trouble.’
‘Always a pleasure, sir.
‘So. What is on agenda for today, Dobczyński?’
‘The Prime Minister advises that you should meet with Prince Dmitriy.’
‘Who?’
‘Prince Dmitriy, sir. Son of the other, late Prince Dmitriy.’
‘The one who took three unfortunate hunting accidents to back of head?’
‘That’s the one, sir.’
‘I know him. But who is other one?’
‘His son, sir.’
‘I don’t know him.’
‘You were at his wedding, sir.’
‘I go to many weddings, Dobczyński. Am mightiest king in Russia!’
‘Since the rest of Russia has either been annexed by the Golden Horde, is a Vassal of the Golden Horde, or is a Merchant Republic...yes, I believe you are.’
‘So. Who is this Dmitriy?’
‘I think I’d better have him introduced to you...’
‘Splendid. End he look less dangerous than his father. No monobrow.’
‘Yes, sir. He’s not very talented, but he’s not a total moron either.’
‘Anyway. Was there anything else?’
‘No, sir. Any plans?’
‘Es metter of fect, Dobczyński, yes...I notice that Novgorod hev broken alliance with Castille.’
‘Yes, sir. A strange alliance in the first place.’
‘Indeed. They are open to attack.’
‘I don’t know if they have any money to take, sir.’
‘I em not after money, Dobczyński. Other Russian states are broken. Tver is only free state. It is our destiny, Dobczyński, to unite Russian peoples under stylish red banner with horse that is totally not rip-off of Muscowy.’
‘You want to take more territory off them?’
‘Yes! Rich, fat city of Novgorod herself is but a few miles from our borders. We can take their capital, and more territory besides. More tax income, and more recruits for our grand army!’
‘It’s bold, sir...and it might just work. But what’s our Casus Belli?’
‘Inspired, sir.’
‘I thought so, Dobczyński. To bettle!’
The armies of Tver marched north, over the border into Novgorodian territory. Novgorod’s city guard was small, and stood little chance against the Tverian troops, led into battle by Dobczyński.
The Battle of Novgorod was short, and decisive.
Dobczyński laid siege to the rich city as the rest of the army was divided into two fronts. Scouts reported Novgorodian troops massing in Arkhangelsk for a counterattack. Part of the army moved east into Belozeroo, the other hald north-east into Olonets, to block the Novgorodian advance into Tver’s territory.
The siege of Novgorod lasted mere weeks, the defenders rapidly capitulating as the Republic’s trading partners implored them to surrender and allow the Centre of Trade to re-open.
With this victory, Aleksandr assembled his personal guard, heading to join the army in Arkhangelsk. The Novgorodians had retreated in Ustyug, ready for a last stand: and Aleksandr Rurikovich was more than happy to give them one.
The advantages of numbers, training, and a near-naked military genius made the battle a foregone conclusion.
The sieges of Arkhangelsk and Ustyug were not much longer than those of the Novgorodian capital.
Aleksandr returned to Novgorod, where his troops had taken control of the city and surrounded the Knyaz’s lavish palace. He delivered his terms to the Knyaz, who had little choice but to agree, even though it means that Novgorod would cede not only two large stretches of land...but the capital city itself.
Returning to Tver, Aleksandr and Dobczyński looked at the redrawn map of Eastern Europe.
'You see, Dobczyński? Much neater!'
'Indeed, sir.'
'Both name and country are of great size, and shape!'
'Much like your sword, sir.'
'Yes indeed. Well, we hev both hed much practice these last few weeks, but perhaps another session...'
'Always happy, sir. No such thing as too much practice.'
'Of course not, Dobczyński. Just try not to run me through.'
'Don't worry, sir. As ever, I will be firm, but gentle...'
While the next battle with the Horde could not be far away, they had seen off Novgorod, and were the undisputed powerhouse of Russia. Danger lurked on all sides, the threat of the Tartars backed up by the potential for an attack from the powerful Catholics of Scandinavia. For now, however, all was rosy in the garden of Tver.
The door of the king’s study creaked open behind Dobczyński. The Polish soldier turned around and saluted as Aleksandr (II) Rurikovich advanced into the hallway.
‘Sleep well, sir?’
‘Yes, thenk you Dobczyński. Hev been up for an hour, in fekt. Was just polishing my sword.’
‘A good idea, sir. Should be done regularly.’
‘I thought so, Dobczyński.’
‘I could help you next time, sir. I always enjoy polishing your sword.’
‘Perheps next time, then, if not too much trouble.’
‘Always a pleasure, sir.
‘So. What is on agenda for today, Dobczyński?’
‘The Prime Minister advises that you should meet with Prince Dmitriy.’
‘Who?’
‘Prince Dmitriy, sir. Son of the other, late Prince Dmitriy.’
‘The one who took three unfortunate hunting accidents to back of head?’
‘That’s the one, sir.’
‘I know him. But who is other one?’
‘His son, sir.’
‘I don’t know him.’
‘You were at his wedding, sir.’
‘I go to many weddings, Dobczyński. Am mightiest king in Russia!’
‘Since the rest of Russia has either been annexed by the Golden Horde, is a Vassal of the Golden Horde, or is a Merchant Republic...yes, I believe you are.’
‘So. Who is this Dmitriy?’
‘I think I’d better have him introduced to you...’
‘Splendid. End he look less dangerous than his father. No monobrow.’
‘Yes, sir. He’s not very talented, but he’s not a total moron either.’
‘Anyway. Was there anything else?’
‘No, sir. Any plans?’
‘Es metter of fect, Dobczyński, yes...I notice that Novgorod hev broken alliance with Castille.’
‘Yes, sir. A strange alliance in the first place.’
‘Indeed. They are open to attack.’
‘I don’t know if they have any money to take, sir.’
‘I em not after money, Dobczyński. Other Russian states are broken. Tver is only free state. It is our destiny, Dobczyński, to unite Russian peoples under stylish red banner with horse that is totally not rip-off of Muscowy.’
‘You want to take more territory off them?’
‘Yes! Rich, fat city of Novgorod herself is but a few miles from our borders. We can take their capital, and more territory besides. More tax income, and more recruits for our grand army!’
‘It’s bold, sir...and it might just work. But what’s our Casus Belli?’
‘Inspired, sir.’
‘I thought so, Dobczyński. To bettle!’
The armies of Tver marched north, over the border into Novgorodian territory. Novgorod’s city guard was small, and stood little chance against the Tverian troops, led into battle by Dobczyński.
The Battle of Novgorod was short, and decisive.
Dobczyński laid siege to the rich city as the rest of the army was divided into two fronts. Scouts reported Novgorodian troops massing in Arkhangelsk for a counterattack. Part of the army moved east into Belozeroo, the other hald north-east into Olonets, to block the Novgorodian advance into Tver’s territory.
The siege of Novgorod lasted mere weeks, the defenders rapidly capitulating as the Republic’s trading partners implored them to surrender and allow the Centre of Trade to re-open.
With this victory, Aleksandr assembled his personal guard, heading to join the army in Arkhangelsk. The Novgorodians had retreated in Ustyug, ready for a last stand: and Aleksandr Rurikovich was more than happy to give them one.
The advantages of numbers, training, and a near-naked military genius made the battle a foregone conclusion.
The sieges of Arkhangelsk and Ustyug were not much longer than those of the Novgorodian capital.
Aleksandr returned to Novgorod, where his troops had taken control of the city and surrounded the Knyaz’s lavish palace. He delivered his terms to the Knyaz, who had little choice but to agree, even though it means that Novgorod would cede not only two large stretches of land...but the capital city itself.
Returning to Tver, Aleksandr and Dobczyński looked at the redrawn map of Eastern Europe.
'You see, Dobczyński? Much neater!'
'Indeed, sir.'
'Both name and country are of great size, and shape!'
'Much like your sword, sir.'
'Yes indeed. Well, we hev both hed much practice these last few weeks, but perhaps another session...'
'Always happy, sir. No such thing as too much practice.'
'Of course not, Dobczyński. Just try not to run me through.'
'Don't worry, sir. As ever, I will be firm, but gentle...'
While the next battle with the Horde could not be far away, they had seen off Novgorod, and were the undisputed powerhouse of Russia. Danger lurked on all sides, the threat of the Tartars backed up by the potential for an attack from the powerful Catholics of Scandinavia. For now, however, all was rosy in the garden of Tver.
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great stuff ... always nice to meet your heir ... and the problem with rose gardens is they are full of thorns
A 'Map Tidying' casus belli is indeed inspired and much needed in EU3. Good to see Tver expanding once again, hopefully the extra land, money and men will give her a fighting chance agains the Horde. Of course with all of the 'sword' drills Aleksandr seems to have brought in, the Tver army should be in great shape to take on anyone.
You're too nice to the horde! Now they have more lands to pillage.
Seriously, that horde is scary looking.
Seriously, that horde is scary looking.