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That Ryazan thing was nailbiting for sure.
And those last few independent Russian states look very very tempting...
And those last few independent Russian states look very very tempting...
Two new provinces and the Horde off balance. Those colonial failures always burn especially in situations when you really need them to work.
Another question is do you want to form Russia at any point? Having "Tver" all over Euroasia would look much more epic!
maybe he still has to core some provinces. That decision requires ownership and cores on regions.
Thanks for the replies, all 
I'll be more communicative after this one. The next update will be a lot of work so I don't know how long it will take.
Re: Russia, I'm not sure whether I want to at the moment. Tver is too good a thing to abandon, after all! Requirements wise, though, I need Moskva and I think (without going into the game and checking) the only other thing I'm lacking is a core on Vładimir. So it'll be a while until I have that problem. If I get the chance I'll PU Muscowy, but I need to get the Horde's talons out of them first.
Edit: I'm also scraping the barrel on Episode titles (if I wasn't at the start!), so any suggestions more than welcome. Successful suggestions get a secondary character named after them!
I'll be more communicative after this one. The next update will be a lot of work so I don't know how long it will take.Re: Russia, I'm not sure whether I want to at the moment. Tver is too good a thing to abandon, after all! Requirements wise, though, I need Moskva and I think (without going into the game and checking) the only other thing I'm lacking is a core on Vładimir. So it'll be a while until I have that problem. If I get the chance I'll PU Muscowy, but I need to get the Horde's talons out of them first.
Edit: I'm also scraping the barrel on Episode titles (if I wasn't at the start!), so any suggestions more than welcome. Successful suggestions get a secondary character named after them!
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Episode XVII: Tverssian Roulette
With the threat from the Golden Horde reduced, Tver had some breathing space. Roman Vladimirov took a short holiday in Switzerland, leaving the country without a chief financial advisor. Ruin, surely, would befall the nation’s finances.
Further good news was to follow, as several more of Tver’s former Novgorodian regions – including the rich city of Novgorod itself – were declared fully integrated into the Principality. Novgorod was now Tver’s richest city, greatly enhancing the treasury’s tax incomes.
Not everyone, though, was happy. Although liberated from the clutches of the Golden Horde, many in Ryazan still harboured dreams of resurrecting their own country, conquered half a century previously by the Horde. Several times, these sentiments flared up into armed revolts which had to be put down by the Tverian army.
There was some cause for optimism, though: in Horde territory bordering that of Tver, Russian Patriots sought to undermine Tartar rule, drive the Horde out of Russian territory altogether, and ally themselves with the growing state.
While Muscowy was still a vassal of the Horde, Konstantin was able to negotiate a treaty of Military Access with his cousin. The Duck was in a difficult situation, but he too was a Rurikovich – what would this great and noble family not do to aid each other?
Prince Aleksandr heartily agreed with his brother’s sentiments, and invited him to his private black-marble castle in Olonets – he had received a delivery of interesting snakes that might please Konstantin? Konstantin was about to accept, before Seamus Arkadiusz Dobczyński quickly told him that he was required to attend a military parade.
The parade concluded, Dobczyński briefed him on recent events in western Europe.
‘All hell is breaking loose in Germany, sir. Some nutter in Berlin’s started nailing weird religious ideas to doors.’
‘It’s the doors I feel for.’ He had a sip from his glass of wine. ‘Is this good news or bad?’
‘Could be good, sir. If they start fighting amongst themselves we might be able to make some territorial gains. Not yet, though. We’ll have tae see how it develops.’
‘Heretics, the lot of them. Next?’
‘Next we have...oh dear. Maybe we’d better not...’
‘Speak, man.’
‘Sir, I don’t think...’
‘Gadaj..’
Dobczyński braced himself. ‘The...Duke of Murom rejects your invitation to dinner, sir.’
‘It wasn’t to him, it was to his wife.’
‘Yes, sir, but he found out. And replied.’
‘How rude! After I provided them with a son and everything!’
‘In better news, sir, we’ve introduced new education programmes in Yaroslavl. Promote a bit of Cultural Unity.’
‘I like a bit of cultural unity.’
‘Further unity could be achieved, sir, by sending Missionaries to try and convert some of our heathens.’
‘Good plan. Maybe send the army there too. Just to...you know.’ He had a small sip of his wine.
‘I know, sir. Done.’
‘Next we have...oh. That’s odd.’
‘What?’
‘Odd, and a bit disturbing.’
‘Oh dear. Are you all right, Dobczyński?’
‘I’m fine, sir. Haven’t been back for years and I’m sure father will be fine. These Górkas have been a nightmare since they took over’
‘Never send a vegetable to do a man’s job.’
‘No, sir.’
‘Although a lot can be achieved with a good firm carrot...’
‘It’s also led to the freedom of Gdańsk, sir. Or Danzig, as I suppose I should now call it.’
‘What sort of freedom?’ The Prince of Tver took a sip of wine.
‘The kind that has very odd political ideas, sir.’
‘It’sa republic, sir. Something called a Constitutional Republic. Chose a man called Sigmund Knobelsdorf to lead them. He was so surprised he died. So they picked another one.’
‘Elections? What nonsense is this?’ He had another sip.
‘Don’t know, sir. Sounds like a waste of time to me.’
‘If you have elections you might not get men like me!’
‘Then where would we be, sir?’
‘Anarchy, Dobczyński! Feminine, girly, limp-wristed thumb-sucking anarchy. Now, get me a clothes hanger.’
‘Yes, s...what?’
‘A clothes hanger, Dobczyński. I wish to cross the forecourt of the palace by a horizontal rope. I shall require a clothes hanger.’
‘Why...why would you want to do that?’
‘Because I do! Why do you always need reasons, Dobczyński? This is what I wnat and it is what I will have!’
‘Sir...what have you been drinking?’
‘Drinking? Just a glass of this new wine my brother sent me.’ He wielded the bottle. ‘Finest Burgundian Reserve!’
‘Which has been painted on the label over ‘Dr Kolobkin’s Revolutionary Anti Depressant Draught’.’
‘Brother Aleksandr is very ecological! He reuses bottles!’
‘Never imbibe more than one small spoon’s worth or you may encounter unusual escapades... Sir, you’ve drunk almost a whole bottle.’
‘And I feel better than ever! Let me fly, Dobczyński! I must be closer to God! To the window!’
‘Not to the window!’
‘To the wall?’
‘To the bed! Now!’
Dobczyński dragged the ruler of Tver to the bedroom, and called for the palace physician. The effects of the potion would wear off in a few weeks, he said, but until then someone would need to take control of state business. In the parliamentary recess, there was a choice of two men: Dobczyński or Vladimirov.
Vladimirov, who had recently returned from his holiday, opened his mouth to speak. Dobczyński fixed him with a glare. The suggestion was withdrawn.
While the king was ill, strange times continued to abound. The large, frozen province of Solikamsk had been overrun by Russian Patriots and, the Horde having failed to quell the rebellion, the entire Province was surrendered to the control of Tver.
Normally, this would be excellent news. However, there were two problems. Firstly, Tver was already heavily stretched in an eastern direction. Travel from east to west took the best part of half a year. The acquisition of Solikamsk was to make these logistical issues even more pressing.
The second problem was that, having spent the best part of a century under Horde control, the majority of the population had grown up as practising Muslims. Many amongst them were now demanding that the whole of Tver convert to their preferred religion. The army, once again, had to be deployed to the eastern provinces.
The third, and greatest problem, was that for the cartographers’ guild, who sent angry correspondence to Dobczyński at the new acquisition. They had no choice. The Principality’s name was going to have to be lop-sided.
Overall, though, this was quiet period for the Principality of Tver and, in the long run, the unexpected liberation of Solikamsk was a great boon to the country. The country had grown even stronger, Konstantin had recovered from his ailment...what could possibly go wrong?
With the threat from the Golden Horde reduced, Tver had some breathing space. Roman Vladimirov took a short holiday in Switzerland, leaving the country without a chief financial advisor. Ruin, surely, would befall the nation’s finances.
Further good news was to follow, as several more of Tver’s former Novgorodian regions – including the rich city of Novgorod itself – were declared fully integrated into the Principality. Novgorod was now Tver’s richest city, greatly enhancing the treasury’s tax incomes.
Not everyone, though, was happy. Although liberated from the clutches of the Golden Horde, many in Ryazan still harboured dreams of resurrecting their own country, conquered half a century previously by the Horde. Several times, these sentiments flared up into armed revolts which had to be put down by the Tverian army.
There was some cause for optimism, though: in Horde territory bordering that of Tver, Russian Patriots sought to undermine Tartar rule, drive the Horde out of Russian territory altogether, and ally themselves with the growing state.
While Muscowy was still a vassal of the Horde, Konstantin was able to negotiate a treaty of Military Access with his cousin. The Duck was in a difficult situation, but he too was a Rurikovich – what would this great and noble family not do to aid each other?
Prince Aleksandr heartily agreed with his brother’s sentiments, and invited him to his private black-marble castle in Olonets – he had received a delivery of interesting snakes that might please Konstantin? Konstantin was about to accept, before Seamus Arkadiusz Dobczyński quickly told him that he was required to attend a military parade.
The parade concluded, Dobczyński briefed him on recent events in western Europe.
‘All hell is breaking loose in Germany, sir. Some nutter in Berlin’s started nailing weird religious ideas to doors.’
‘It’s the doors I feel for.’ He had a sip from his glass of wine. ‘Is this good news or bad?’
‘Could be good, sir. If they start fighting amongst themselves we might be able to make some territorial gains. Not yet, though. We’ll have tae see how it develops.’
‘Heretics, the lot of them. Next?’
‘Next we have...oh dear. Maybe we’d better not...’
‘Speak, man.’
‘Sir, I don’t think...’
‘Gadaj..’
Dobczyński braced himself. ‘The...Duke of Murom rejects your invitation to dinner, sir.’
‘It wasn’t to him, it was to his wife.’
‘Yes, sir, but he found out. And replied.’
‘How rude! After I provided them with a son and everything!’
‘In better news, sir, we’ve introduced new education programmes in Yaroslavl. Promote a bit of Cultural Unity.’
‘I like a bit of cultural unity.’
‘Further unity could be achieved, sir, by sending Missionaries to try and convert some of our heathens.’
‘Good plan. Maybe send the army there too. Just to...you know.’ He had a small sip of his wine.
‘I know, sir. Done.’
‘Next we have...oh. That’s odd.’
‘What?’
‘Odd, and a bit disturbing.’
‘Oh dear. Are you all right, Dobczyński?’
‘I’m fine, sir. Haven’t been back for years and I’m sure father will be fine. These Górkas have been a nightmare since they took over’
‘Never send a vegetable to do a man’s job.’
‘No, sir.’
‘Although a lot can be achieved with a good firm carrot...’
‘It’s also led to the freedom of Gdańsk, sir. Or Danzig, as I suppose I should now call it.’
‘What sort of freedom?’ The Prince of Tver took a sip of wine.
‘The kind that has very odd political ideas, sir.’
‘It’sa republic, sir. Something called a Constitutional Republic. Chose a man called Sigmund Knobelsdorf to lead them. He was so surprised he died. So they picked another one.’
‘Elections? What nonsense is this?’ He had another sip.
‘Don’t know, sir. Sounds like a waste of time to me.’
‘If you have elections you might not get men like me!’
‘Then where would we be, sir?’
‘Anarchy, Dobczyński! Feminine, girly, limp-wristed thumb-sucking anarchy. Now, get me a clothes hanger.’
‘Yes, s...what?’
‘A clothes hanger, Dobczyński. I wish to cross the forecourt of the palace by a horizontal rope. I shall require a clothes hanger.’
‘Why...why would you want to do that?’
‘Because I do! Why do you always need reasons, Dobczyński? This is what I wnat and it is what I will have!’
‘Sir...what have you been drinking?’
‘Drinking? Just a glass of this new wine my brother sent me.’ He wielded the bottle. ‘Finest Burgundian Reserve!’
‘Which has been painted on the label over ‘Dr Kolobkin’s Revolutionary Anti Depressant Draught’.’
‘Brother Aleksandr is very ecological! He reuses bottles!’
‘Never imbibe more than one small spoon’s worth or you may encounter unusual escapades... Sir, you’ve drunk almost a whole bottle.’
‘And I feel better than ever! Let me fly, Dobczyński! I must be closer to God! To the window!’
‘Not to the window!’
‘To the wall?’
‘To the bed! Now!’
Dobczyński dragged the ruler of Tver to the bedroom, and called for the palace physician. The effects of the potion would wear off in a few weeks, he said, but until then someone would need to take control of state business. In the parliamentary recess, there was a choice of two men: Dobczyński or Vladimirov.
Vladimirov, who had recently returned from his holiday, opened his mouth to speak. Dobczyński fixed him with a glare. The suggestion was withdrawn.
While the king was ill, strange times continued to abound. The large, frozen province of Solikamsk had been overrun by Russian Patriots and, the Horde having failed to quell the rebellion, the entire Province was surrendered to the control of Tver.
Normally, this would be excellent news. However, there were two problems. Firstly, Tver was already heavily stretched in an eastern direction. Travel from east to west took the best part of half a year. The acquisition of Solikamsk was to make these logistical issues even more pressing.
The second problem was that, having spent the best part of a century under Horde control, the majority of the population had grown up as practising Muslims. Many amongst them were now demanding that the whole of Tver convert to their preferred religion. The army, once again, had to be deployed to the eastern provinces.
The third, and greatest problem, was that for the cartographers’ guild, who sent angry correspondence to Dobczyński at the new acquisition. They had no choice. The Principality’s name was going to have to be lop-sided.
Overall, though, this was quiet period for the Principality of Tver and, in the long run, the unexpected liberation of Solikamsk was a great boon to the country. The country had grown even stronger, Konstantin had recovered from his ailment...what could possibly go wrong?
‘In better news, sir, we’ve introduced new education programmes in Yaroslavl. Promote a bit of Cultural Unity.’
‘I like a bit of cultural unity.’
I guess the only education these Yaroslavian kids needed was some knowledge of birds and the bees and the subsequent allusion about who liked to visit their mommy a few months before they were born... then they would not only feel culturaly united with Tver but even with Tverian royality...
Well, if I ever had doubts that Seamus' mother was from Scotland, I stopped having them. Are you certain that his grandmother was not from Kraków? Or perhaps one of his great grandmothers; 26.91 ducats is not that much after all
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The only thing more annoying about that Solikamsk province than its frozen vastness is its lack of salt. Same goes for any other place in Russia with Sol- in it.
I am expecting a that he'll survive the next outpouring of brotherly love as well, that seems to be the plot. If not, uh-oh, working for the other guy would be a challenge for Seamus.
I am expecting a that he'll survive the next outpouring of brotherly love as well, that seems to be the plot. If not, uh-oh, working for the other guy would be a challenge for Seamus.
Perhaps a play on the Tevinter Imperium?
I certainly hope that there will not be another shaving mishap. Also that Riga will fall into the gentle, loving arms of mother Tver.
I certainly hope that there will not be another shaving mishap. Also that Riga will fall into the gentle, loving arms of mother Tver.
well there was some superb stuff in there. I'm a bit worried about the fate of the Rurikovich duck
but otherwise its always good to see a continuation of madness and fratricide in the family though.
must confess, nutters in Berlin are usually bad news for Russian AARs and it was very unsporting of the Poles just to collapse and the realms new shape is becoming rather disturbingly suggestive.
but otherwise its always good to see a continuation of madness and fratricide in the family though.
must confess, nutters in Berlin are usually bad news for Russian AARs and it was very unsporting of the Poles just to collapse and the realms new shape is becoming rather disturbingly suggestive.
A polish collapse with the Horde due to knock is not going to be good.
And of course an expression of brotherly "love" may leave Alex with the thought that having isn't as good as wanting.
Especially with Seamus throwing some grit in the spokes.
And of course an expression of brotherly "love" may leave Alex with the thought that having isn't as good as wanting.
Especially with Seamus throwing some grit in the spokes.
The inclusion of previous family portraits in this picture is a beautiful added detail. Two thumbs up from me.
I agree sir. It makes the picture 10x More hilarious. You get another two thumbs up Frygecko.
Considering what has been going on with a certain Vladimir Romanov and his payment players I found this line far more amusing than I should have.
Excellent stuff as ever, Tver continues to grow at an impressive rate and the Rurikovich family continues to prove a close and loving one.
@ Memento Mori: Konstantin, like any good ruler, regards his people as his family. Which is sensible enough, since over 5% of them probably are.
And now you mention it, yes, a Cracovian grandmother is a distinct possibility.
'We want you to run the country for a week.'
'Fine. 26 million ducats please.'
'WHAAAAT?'
'1 million, plus call-out charge, plus expenses. It's all itemised here' *hands over paper*
I want his job
@ RGB: Yes, it is rather disappointing. It's so big there must be something useful there. Might do some research and, if it is a major salt producer, mod it in.
@ Omen: Riga is on the target list, at the moment it's a good size for a vassal. The Danes are hovering, though.
@ loki100: I'm not sure how I managed that...but if he's running a country he must be a very competent duck. And yes, the shape is...interesting. The latent Scottish urge to draw phalluses being expressed on the world stage, perhaps?
@ blsteen: These are complicated times...Poland have been paying tribute to the GH for a while, so I don't think that will be their problem. It's their fellow Catholics I'd be worried about.
@ Extreme Unction and GoldenKhan: Thanks gents, glad somebody noticed that
@ morningSIDEr: We all know that maroon-clad people working for Tver-born Lithuanians are capable of great things when all is running smoothly. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does, 'tis poetry...
@ All: Next Episode today or tomorrow, hopefully today
And now you mention it, yes, a Cracovian grandmother is a distinct possibility.
'We want you to run the country for a week.'
'Fine. 26 million ducats please.'
'WHAAAAT?'
'1 million, plus call-out charge, plus expenses. It's all itemised here' *hands over paper*
I want his job
@ RGB: Yes, it is rather disappointing. It's so big there must be something useful there. Might do some research and, if it is a major salt producer, mod it in.
@ Omen: Riga is on the target list, at the moment it's a good size for a vassal. The Danes are hovering, though.
@ loki100: I'm not sure how I managed that...but if he's running a country he must be a very competent duck. And yes, the shape is...interesting. The latent Scottish urge to draw phalluses being expressed on the world stage, perhaps?
@ blsteen: These are complicated times...Poland have been paying tribute to the GH for a while, so I don't think that will be their problem. It's their fellow Catholics I'd be worried about.
@ Extreme Unction and GoldenKhan: Thanks gents, glad somebody noticed that
@ morningSIDEr: We all know that maroon-clad people working for Tver-born Lithuanians are capable of great things when all is running smoothly. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does, 'tis poetry...
@ All: Next Episode today or tomorrow, hopefully today
Tverrific AAR!
From the picture it would appear Konstantin's brother is about to stab him in the back. Now, backstabbing is a useful trait to have when having to deal with the Horde. Fighting the Goldies with 20000 against their 100000 is not a winning proposition. Moscow's manpower would help. With those Russian principalities "There can be only one" does spring to mind. If you can kill the Khan, the TSC is your friend. Having giant moustache's apparently helps. as well.
Here's to Vladimir's reign!
From the picture it would appear Konstantin's brother is about to stab him in the back. Now, backstabbing is a useful trait to have when having to deal with the Horde. Fighting the Goldies with 20000 against their 100000 is not a winning proposition. Moscow's manpower would help. With those Russian principalities "There can be only one" does spring to mind. If you can kill the Khan, the TSC is your friend. Having giant moustache's apparently helps. as well.
Here's to Vladimir's reign!
Episode XVIII: Tverror Of Judgement
Ah...what a visionary you were, great-grandfather.
'Ustyug's Second Pike Regiment ready for inspection, sir!'
'Carry on, Sergeant.'
Ah...what a visionary you were, great-grandfather.
'Ustyug's Second Pike Regiment ready for inspection, sir!'
'Carry on, Sergeant.'
