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Thread: InTveresting Times: An AfTver Action Report

  1. #381
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    Most astute observations, as are to be expected of a discerning gentleman from fair Albion on a detour from the Tour.
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  2. #382
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fyregecko View Post
    I took his advice to give me all the useless gold and silver in my pockets - saving me a great deal of weight - and he refused to accept any proper payment. A fool, certainly, but a gentleman.
    When a nation is able to impress the sophisticated Huiver-Bagge to such an extent that even common serfs are considered gentlemen by this great man, such a nation should be nothing but proud. Tver; the cultural capital of Europe.

    Now I'm off to drink some bitter-tasting yellow, watery beer in honour of Tver's success.
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  3. #383
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    Sounds like a remarkably sensible gentleman with a firm grasp on the nature of things - lets face it the weirdos start at the front door (and some times inside it).

    Quote Originally Posted by morningSIDEr View Post
    Now I'm off to drink some bitter-tasting yellow, watery beer in honour of Tver's success.
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  4. #384
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    @ Extreme Unction: Ah, but proof? Hard to prove anything in Russia.No, clearly there was merely a misundertanding. Elena's loyalty is assured. Unwavering. Resolute.

    @ loki100: Thanks chief. And yes, what is the purpose of the Englishman abroad but to stimulate the local economy?

    @ homy_dog34: He is truly a man amongst men. He must be. He said so

    @ Omen: He is an insightful, dedicated and knowledgeable man. Thank the Lord that his epistles have survived to this day.

    @ MrQwerty: I'll be pushing further east, though not yet: the Kazaksh are fighting lots of wars so they aren't that big a problem. I'm seeing if I get a chance to beat the Ottomans or Hungarians up a bit, although both have impressive armies and/or friends with impressive armies.

    @ blsteen: Why thank you. And yes, I can have a cut-priced Mocha. Who needs Starbuck's?

    @ RGB: Well observed: I was indeed thinking of the English 'travelling boy' on The Tour. But surely the tour must now include the cultural mecca that is the Empire of Tver?

    @ morningSIDEr: (once the hangover wears off) Cultural capital of Europe it is! Much like Glasgow was a few years back. Two gerater cities the world has ne'er seen. May have to get them twinned.

    @ PrawnStar: Indeed they do! Though in my case I think they start in the mirror. Incidentally, I'd be fascinated to know how you'd tackle my current situation. Given your more 'decisive' play style, you would probably have knocked the Hungarians off their perch a while ago I suspect.
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  5. #385
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    Episode XXXV: Tverl Grey With Lemon

    An Extract From The Triumphal Return of Huiver-Bagge, by Charles Percival Huiver-Bagge, newly appointed Ambassador of the Kingdom of Great Britain to the Empire of Tver

    My epic adventures and expeditions (detailed in my previous works, which you own, adore, and regularly buy new copies of, thus lining my elegant pockets) brought me great renown at home in England (though, as ever, less than I deserve). My exploits attracted the attention of Her Majesty Queen Anne herself (long reign the House of Stafford!), who swiftly invited me into The Presence to offer me honest employment. The Queen of Great Britain is the embodiment of fine leadership, master of all the territories of the fair isle of Britannia!



    How would I like to serve her, Her Majesty enquired, as Ambassador to the Empire of Tver? Having written so eloquently about that land in my previous mighty tome, I was offered the chance to return. And of course, I said – no. But the Queen is gracious and persuasive, and won me over with her charm and beauty, and a quite hilarious joke about the stretchability of my neck. And so here I, Charles Percival Huiver-Bagge, am, back in this frozen land of illiterate, babbling savages. I shall write once more of events at the court of Tver, and you shall read, enthralled.

    Czarina Aleksandra (a not uncomely wench, though as a crow to a parrot next to our great Queen of course – she doesn’t even have a squint) continues to face intrigue at court. Her advisors are impeccable, but seem to achieve little against her intractable nobility. These privileged men and women cling to their old rights in the face of the Czarina’s proposed reforms like my mistresses cling to my robes at sunrise, begging me not to leave. The Mysterious Don Pedro is personable, in spite of a rather off-putting manner. He gives an impression of bumbling incompetence (perhaps he wishes to apply for a place at Cambridge?), but I am sure that there is great intelligence behind those eyes. The Lady Elena Rurikovich questions her cousin’s plans, I am sure, only to provide the Empire with sound, tempered government. Must every idea not be challenged to ensure its wisdom? Except those of the most excellent Queen Anne, of course! The fact that Lady Elena is second in line to the crown of Tver is, I am sure, of no consequence. Though by heaven, should she wish it for herself, she would have ample support! Fortunate for the Czarina that her cousin is as honest as the day is lon, and as faithful as Judas. James? Jonah? Something with a ‘J’.

    The one I like least is Brother Mijado, the silent Spanish clergyman who hovers around the Czarina’s council. He seems to have grown somewhat in the Czarina’s favour, likely because he alone does not question her commands. He has successfully enacted a number of clerical reforms, such as the introduction of a church tax, filling the Empire’s coffers at the expense of the honest, upstanding nobility! Rumours of a possible Archbishopric abound, though how this silent man would deliver a sermon remains unclear. Perhaps with cards.

    To recent events. The Empire is large, its curves as voluptuous as those of the Countess of Chiswick (I dare not speak of those of the Czarina, and those of Our Britannic Majesty are strictly off-limits!).



    Her military is strong, yet as nought compared with the might of the British legions! Considering her size, her army is rather small, smaller than those of her most obvious major rivals (highlighted – you are grateful, and welcome).



    The Ministry for Statistics presented me with colourful circles, saying that they would be of interest to my enraptured readership. Bread and circuses for the masses, say I. I am above such things.



    The country is largely stable (remarkable considering the large quantities of murderously strong alcohol consumed by the populace). The former territories of the Golden Horde harbour the greatest risk of armed uprising.



    The country’s finances have improved greatly in recent years, helped by the full integration of a number of rich cities. If further military expansion is planned, though, heavy investment will be required.



    It was on the subject of the military that a recent council session, to which I was privy (naturally), was commenced. The day had already been a difficult one: an official portrait had been planned for the morning, but the artist had mislaid an essential part of his easel when moving house, and was thus unable to execute the work. He spent a day in the stocks under a barrage of fruit for his incompetence. I trust that, in the future, artists will not make such foolish errors.

    ‘Aleksandra, darling, can we really afford to invest so much money in the army?’

    The Czarina gave a steely smile to her cousin.

    ‘The army is the bulwark behind which you, and your finely-dressed friends, shelter in the face of foreign invasion. We must be ready to strike against the Ottomans and the Hungarians when the chance arises.’

    Don Pedro looked apprehensive.

    ‘My Czarrrrina, perhaps you should not seek to provoke such mighty countrrries...’

    The Czarina’s eyebrow (a fine eyebrow) arched, archly.

    ‘More mighty than the Empire of Tver, Don Pedro?’

    ‘Well, no, my Czarrrrina, but I merely...’

    ‘You merely wish to get in my way, Don Pedro. The army must be expanded and improved. And it shall be.’



    ‘The time has come to make further progress against the heathens. We will move part of the army towards the south-west. From here, we can easily deploy troops against either the Hungarians opr the Turks...’



    ‘...but while we are at it, an opportunity has arisen to remove yet more of the heathen from our borderlands – and to acquire a southern coastline into the bargain.’

    Don Pedro looked quizzical. ‘My Czarrrina?’

    ‘Crimea, Don Pedro. A negligible army and no allies. A plum ripe for the picking. Marshal our forces, and send the declaration of war.’

    'Carrramba.'



    The Czarina’s policy was bold, but effective. Tver was still at war with the Kazakh Steppe Horde, into whose lands she had made great gains, but a crushing victory at Bersh secured the eastern frontier against Kazakh aggression.



    The redeployment of Tverian troops was not universally popular, though: onbe army was ambushed while making its way towards Crimea, although they were able to see off their assailants with minimal losses. The rebel leader was pegged to a tree upside down.



    Elena had to admit that her cousin’s strategy was working.

    ‘The Crimeans have surrendered, Aleksandra. You have complete control of their territories.’



    Don Pedro nodded. ‘Also, my Czarrrina, Pensa is now completely colonised.’

    The Czarina nodded. ‘Yes. Tahnk you, Brother Mijado, for your efforts with the colonisation project. I am glad that someone thought to give the travelling caravans a supply of maps.

    Don Pedro looked puzzled. ‘Maps are unnecessary, my Czarrrina. They lead to closed-minded assumptions about the way of things.’

    ‘I suppose that is why your countrymen have annexed most of Africa and called it “Castille”, I suppose?’

    ‘My Czarrina, you jest of course. Everyone knows that Africa is rightfully part of Castille...’



    The next stage of the Czarina’s plan was unorthodox, which is strange for a nation of such committed Orthodox Christians.

    ‘Elena, take this note to the leader of the Kazakhs.’

    Elena eyed the note suspiciously.

    ‘What is it?’

    ‘Our concession of defeat.’

    Elena was alarmed. ‘I thought that we were winning?’

    ‘We are. But we have taken all that we want from the Kazakhs for the moment, and they refuse to accept their own defeat. My pride will be dented, but we need to marshal our troops against the Turk and the Magyar, and the only way to allow that is to secure the eastern frontier. Take this ntoe to the Khan of Kazakh.’

    Grumpily, the Lady Elena left, and performed her duty.



    Her cousin gone, the Czarina was able to execute two more orders.

    ‘Brother Mijado, let it be known to all that Georgia will hereafter be under our protection.’



    ‘And Don Pedro...demand the annexation of Crimea.’

    ‘Annexation, my Czarrrina?’

    ‘Why not? They have no money to give us. The Crimean region is rightfully ours, and Kouban is a good area to start. We will have plenty of time to educate the Tartars as to their duty...’



    Thus it was that the province of Kouban was added to the Empire of Tver, granting her a first southern port city.



    Thus the Empire, with her recent growths, took upon an even more pleasing aspect.



    It is on this note that I, Charles Percival Huiver-Bagge, traveller and writer extraordinaire, end this dispatch. Time marches on, as does the bountiful wench bringing my supper. Fear not, reader, for further epistles shall flow forth from my firm and elegant pen in due time, as I write further of events in the Empire of Tver.

    May God grant the Queen of Great Britain ever greater wisdom and grace. Grant Czarina Aleksandra the strength to govern her fractious kingdom.

    And grant me a ticket on the first boat back to England.

    My regards to those who deserve them. Acceptance of your fawning gratitude to all others.

    Huiver-Bagge
    Last edited by Fyregecko; 23-05-2012 at 15:50.
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  6. #386
    Field Marshal

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    crush hungary?

  7. #387
    Lt. General homy_dog34's Avatar
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    That was, Really Excellent! I really enjoy these updates a lot! Hope to see more in the coming! Also, war with Hungary soon?
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  8. #388
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    Normally, I read these threads in silent admiration, but I just felt an urge to point out that Tver now extends from the White Sea to the Black. Although I somehow doubt that naval dominance lies in Tver's future.

  9. #389
    I am assuming, perhaps incorrectly, that there's some inside joke regarding the name "Huiver-Bagge", and I am simply not well-read enough to get it.

    Is my assumption correct? If so, can you explain the joke? I like being in on these things.

  10. #390
    Field Marshal loki100's Avatar
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    this gets better and better ... you are definitely channelling PG Wodehouse now

  11. #391
    Did Austria change its flag from a full length white-stripe-on-red-back design? I've been playing D&T for so long that I've forgotten . Otherwise, great job in picking up that Black Sea port. That itself should allow for more tactical and strategic decisions in the wars with Hungary and the Ottomans . Keep up the expansion!
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  12. #392
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    Still not enough colonists I gather?

    I see too many hordish lands of the goldenish colour even now.
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  13. #393
    As soon as those tiny blips within the borders of the mighty Tver are absorbed, all will be well. An excellent update, as per usual, sir.

  14. #394
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    Is there a way to get at Hungary that doesn't involve anyone else major? There's a couple of what look like single province chokepoints that would make for pretty funky snips


    Apparently I need to buy some more gravel.


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  15. #395
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fyregecko View Post
    Gentles all, my apologies for the quality of writing in this update. I found it hard to think of anything vaguely amusing about a period which, I have to say, I really didn't enjoy at all. I don't mind a challenge. I knew that Tver would be a difficult nation to play as. But I hadn't realised just how frustrating the Horde mechanics can be. I'm not sure if there's anything more I can do with this AAR: I'll try and get myself to continue it, but with the invincible Horde on one side, casually gobbling up everyone who comes close, and a much stronger Novgorod who could kill me any time they wanted (and probably will soon, given their reaffirmed Guarantee of my independence)...I'm not feeling great about this game at the moment.
    How times have changed

  16. #396
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fyregecko View Post
    The day had already been a difficult one: an official portrait had been planned for the morning, but the artist had mislaid an essential part of his easel when moving house, and was thus unable to execute the work. He spent a day in the stocks under a barrage of fruit for his incompetence. I trust that, in the future, artists will not make such foolish errors.
    I hope the fruit was fresh. Love how you worked this in.

  17. #397
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    How many colonists are you getting a year? Those horde enclaves really need to be integrated into the Империя Тверской (Impyeriya Tvyerskoy). Also, who are the red and blue enclaves?

  18. #398
    Seconding the crushing of the Hungarians, you need to close that "mouth."

  19. #399
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    Evening all

    I have been tardy - no update yet, I'm afraid (actually, maybe that's a good thing) due to my ongoing upgrading of the new flat to make it inhabitable (I am a manly macho manly DIY man).

    The next update is screenshot and so on, and I've enough gameplay material for the next one, maybe even two, so all I need to do is dig through the archives of Mr Huiver-Bagge to see what he wrote about this period of history...

    @ homy_dog34, PrawnStar, DeadeyeDave and Deus Eversor:


    - Thanks homy_dog, glad that somebody is enjoying them

    - You all ask the big question, and PrawnStar has hit the nail on the head as far as the complication goes:



    Brandenburg are nasty.





    As you see, they have a serious army - smaller than mine, but once added to Hungary's they'll outnumber me even with my Vassals and Pu partner. That and their tech level: if they get into a fight with my men, it'll be hockey sticks against machine guns

    That is the plan, but I need to be absolutely sure that I'm ready. This is where I envy the ability of players like morningSIDEr and PrawnStar to take decisive action in these situations: I'm a bit of a ditherer, which often costs me opportunities.

    @ Deskchair: I'm really glad that you pointed that out, it hadn't occurred to me

    @ Extreme Unction: Huiver-Bagge Nothing clever about it, I just thought it would be an amusing name for a character. I'm odd like that.

    @ loki100: A higher compliment I could not receive in writing terms: I'm a firm fan of Wodehouse. Thank you

    @ MrQwerty: I changed it for them I've always loved and been interested in insignia of different types: coats of arms, football (and other sports) strips, and countries' flags, and I like desgning alternative ones. Off the top of my head, I've modded in my own deisgns for Austria, Poland, Scotland, England, Russia and Great Britain. Bit of a geeky passion

    @ RGB: It's more that I'm saving up the cash for other stuff. I know it makes the map untidy, but I'm trying to build up the army in case of either an attack by or an opportunity to move against Hungary or the Ottomans. Still making occasional progress but you're right, it's slowed down more than I'd like.

    @ Omen: Thanks chief. And yes, hopefully that won't take too long. With the Hordes it's a matter of spare cash, and I hope I'll get the Annex Vassal mission to let me take Muscowy and Niz. Nov. with a Core.

    @ Mr Sometimes: They have, haven't they? It's fun looking back at the earlier chapter and thinking 'how the hell did I get here?'

    @ Barsoom: I got off pretty lightly for such a heinous offence!

    @ Edlar89:
    Blue is Murom (PU partner) and red is Nizhny Novgorod (Vassal) I'll try and remember to do the Colonist count for you, it's still pretty solid thanks to borders with Kazakh and Nogai as well as the Horde remnants.
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  20. #400
    Lt. General homy_dog34's Avatar
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    Ally Bohemia, maybe?
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