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Thread: Kill. Them. All.

  1. #61
    First Lieutenant VagabondvonLMG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Avindian View Post
    Agreed! Is your ultimate goal WC?
    I'll answer it for him.

    He wants everyone to die.

    EVERYONE
    Cobra on my left,
    Leopard on my right!

    This Time, It's For Real! - Finished

    Not dead

  2. #62
    Indefatigable Psychotic tamius23's Avatar
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    How have I missed this? Grr...

  3. #63
    Right now I'm actually wanting to make peace with everyone for just -one- day to swap governments to empire so I can HW everyone in Europe, then war with everyone again. It sucks that some decisions require peace!

    @tamius: Not sure, the title I'd think would kind of stand out. :P

    @Vagabondvonlight machinegun: Yes! Exactly! I have -no- grand strategy except to kill as many people as possible. I am trying to expand as well, but mostly just kill. I can't invade France, England, Spain, or Burgandy yet. I can however kill 100k+ of troops from each of them every time they restart their wars, which makes me happy.

    @Avindian: I have only three rules. Take territory but don't go over BB limit, only start wars with CB's. Kill every army and navy I can, though 1-2k units I might ignore for better targets. The higher the body count, the better!

    @TonyJoe: rgr.

    @Novea: yea, it's just irritating when they don't use a CB! I have no problem fighting anyone and everyone, I just hate it when I kick their ... and can't take land or annex the bastards without a masive BB penalty!

    @Rabid: LOL! hmm, I haven't been paying enough attention to notice if any of them broke a truce.

  4. #64
    Indefatigable Psychotic tamius23's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edgewise View Post
    @tamius: Not sure, the title I'd think would kind of stand out. :P
    I read the forum pretty much exclusively through my usercp, and I rarely visit the AAR fora themselves. Since I'm not currently writing an EU3 AAR, I'm not round here very often. (Update your signature, by the way!)

  5. #65
    Field Marshal Malurous's Avatar
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    It's truly extraordinary how many people are declaring war on you.
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  6. #66
    Quote Originally Posted by Malurous View Post
    It's truly extraordinary how many people are declaring war on you.
    I told you! My Sultan told everyone to... do things I can't say on this forum!

    Plus I got crusader action going now, lol.

    Tbh, I totally expected it, thus why I started with the mindset that I'd be killing everyone all the time. :P

  7. #67
    1461-1470. WEEE!!! No! WE sucks.

    In 1461, I checked and saw my truce was over with the Tims. I also had over 14 WE now. I -also- had overextension, giving the +50% cost to stab ontop of my base +38% and the WE penalty of over 50%. Stab cost for my provinces was now averaging around 100. Restarting the war with Tims was going to hit me for 2 stab which would take some 11 years to recover with max stab investment. My wars were not letting up. Infact, the tempo had perhaps increased, which was how my WE had climbed. Still, there was no way around it. No save/reload, remember?!!

    My wars were all going well, except that my enemies always got 5 year breaks, while I would still be at war. I clicked over to Tims and declared war, and instanly 3 new revolts popped up, and my war cap went right to zero. There was nothing left to do except... more killing!!! DIE REBEL SCUM!

    I played the Imperial Death March mp3, and got to work. Mamaluks declared war, and drug along a few allies.





    Wow, that sucked. Not for me, for them!

    I was killing them all. It was great! That was the entire reason for playing this game! I wiped out many navies, and killed Euroscum by the stack. There was only one problem. My WE was just continuing to rise a tiny bit with each fight. Revolts were frequent, and probably half of my combat was fighting rebels.

    I crushed the Mams, destroying their two stacks in a total of three fights. They had even sized armies to what I had on the border, but not even odds. Shortest war ever!

    I got a WP offer from France and took it, then continued killing the English and Spanish, and their allies. I realized however that sooner or later the rebels were going to get out of control if I didn't make peace and chill out for a bit. It was a long time ago the last time I went past the point of no return with revolts, but I could see I was getting rather uncomfortably close with WE and overextension creating RR everywhere.

    While killing more English, Burgundy sent me a warning. In gambling lingo that's called a 'tell' letting you know what your adversaries are up to. In this case, war would soon follow.





    One revolter I let capture a province. Hamadan! Persian nationals were all over my border area, and it looked like Persia would break free! This was great for me, so I just let them go crazy and tried to protect the Persian rebels from the Tims. A gamble for sure, but posibly letting me pick up 2-3 provinces at no cost some time down the line.

    Of course, my vassals started trying to retake my captured province for me, but luckily they're easily distracted by... everything, and never sieged it for any length of time.

    This was my war screen with Castile at that point, showing my WE and war capacity, as well as how many troops each side had at that moment. Remember, this shows all their armies -combined-. They'd lost a rediculous amount of troops in this war.





    My war with Qara was back on, and I made peace with the Tims. War with GH was soon to come. I redeployed my forces to prepare for GH. Two stacks stayed on the Tim border, with one going after Qara, and the other ready to invade when/if Persia formed.

    I kept beating the crap out of Castile and friends, but was very careful not to fight any 'pitched' battles. I made sure I had enough forces to overcome terrain penalties and still have a strong victory with each fight in order to avoid any more WE.

    With all the rebels I had to put down, I was hard pressed to get an acceptable presence on my border with GH in time! And then te war started, and I checked his troops total to see what kind of damage I'd need to inflict.





    With his army at roughly 100k and stability zero, I felt I had a good chance of getting a quick peace deal. That would be critical, because soon after the war was back on with GH, I got several new wardecs.

    Those damn Vikings and their infernal warmaking! It would have bothered me much less if they'd sent more armies, but typically I'd just get some chumpy unit of 1-2k every 6 months or so. What kind of war is that for a Viking?!! Whimps. They should be ashamed! The Brandenburg crew jumped in as well, just as worthless as the Vikings most of the time. And of course TO had to join in, never sending a single ship or unit. Sigh. Way to hold back the Ottoman menace TO, great job! Go back to paying tribute to the Horde. Which they were almost instantly after getting a border with GH.

    So this is who I was fighting/killing at that time.





    Not really sure who was allied with who, didn't really care. When they came, they died, and it didn't take a single extra unit in coastal defense to do the extra killing either, because they all failed!!! 22k OE armies on that coast had killed an incredibly lopsided number of enemies ever since they'd been posted there. There were two types of countries in the world, us and them. OE was us. Everyone else was them, and they all sucked. It was declared to be so on day one, and would be that way until there were no more 'them' left. I would kill them all! Or as many as I could before running out of time.

    In the East, the 'real' war was going down with GH. They were numerous as always, but simply couldn't hang with my troops. With 2 to one odds they'd maybe break my morale, but lose most of their force in the process, and I'd always have that extra stack in reserve if things got too heavy. 3 x 10k troops were fighting them in the East, and a single 12k stack plus most of my vassals were in the West.

    I destroyed several medium sized navies, including around 15 or so from the Papal State. I am so going to own Rome! Eventually.





    My biggest and longest running war wasn't even with 'them'. 'They' would never break me! My worst enemies were WE, and his ally RR. They were hitting me hard. About half my fights in this decade were vs Rebels, no joke.

    After giving GH a moderate thrashing, they peaced out. With my largest enemy out of the fight, many other nations offered peace as well. But best of all, Persia broke free and I invaded. My armies who were fighting GH were then turned loose on revolters, who were all over the place.





    Things weren't per say going well, but they were going according to plan. Then, 'it' happened. That seemingly unimportant thing that you can trace back to as the turning point. After 5 years of stab investment, I hadn't even recovered a single point yet. WE had driven my leaders legit down almost under 50%, and revolts were 2-3 a month.

    I got the advisor event giving +2 stab. YES! 'They' were going to be in big trouble soon.

    With my war cap now at 40, peace offers rolled in. I accepted WP with 'them' for now, except Qara, who I made pay me cash again, and Persia, who I'd have to sit on for a while because their annexation cost was too high.

    Not everyone was ready to give me some space however, and Burgundy, as predicted, declared war.

    The war was pretty weak really. My navies killed their navies, except for the main navy of Burgundy. My armies spent far more time killing rebels than the forces sent by 'them'.




    As the decade drew to a close, the war with GH was back on, and we were both much better prepared than in the last war. His troops strength was better, and my border force was 10k stronger. My WE was also down to 11 and change. I'll tell you in the next update how it all worked out.


    Last edited by Edgewise; 03-12-2011 at 08:16.

  8. #68
    I don't know how you can play like this, it seems kinda stressful

  9. #69
    Quote Originally Posted by Rabid View Post
    I don't know how you can play like this, it seems kinda stressful
    I must kill them all! Not supposed to be easy imo. It's supposed to be bloody! The funny thing is the Euroblobs have spent SOOOO much manpower and time fighting me, there's been no Spanish ownage of Africa, (They have a sliver, that's it) no BBB, no Burgandy owns the world. And I like that.

  10. #70
    Field Marshal Malurous's Avatar
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    I have a hard time deciding which way of storytelling is more disturbing (in a funny way), the downright crazy one you started with or this even-keeled account of events with sudden bursts of violent lunacy sprinkled in.

    Nice trick with Persia.
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  11. #71
    Quote Originally Posted by Malurous View Post
    I have a hard time deciding which way of storytelling is more disturbing (in a funny way), the downright crazy one you started with or this even-keeled account of events with sudden bursts of violent lunacy sprinkled in.

    Nice trick with Persia.
    I'll try to do a bit of both. The 'crazy' is incredibly fun, but I got the impression people were having trouble following what was going on so went for at least a measure of detail. I watched a Chinese TV series that had the ancient pre-Mongol Xiongu warlords featured in it, and I found them to be hillariously war-crazy so tried to duplicate their thought process for this AAR.

  12. #72
    Lost in Time Ashantai's Avatar
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    Great update! Blood and guts for all!
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  13. #73
    1471-1480 Chill out!

    Oddly, the war vs WE and RR was more or less just a matter of careful army management. I shrank stacks down to 10k or less and usually split them in half before moving them around, cutting down further on my attrition. I pulled forces back from the GH front as they came in, then moved armies forward once his forces were spread out sieging, hitting him one stack at a time with numerical advantage in my favor.

    I destroyed armies on both sides of the GH front and tore his army apart and my WE continued to decline the whole time I was doing it. The last fight came in the East, with my armies having pushed his forces back to Georgia. Here my armies are converging to destroy his last remaining offensive forces, and he made peace right after this fight. You can see their current troop strength in the window, as well as my slightly lower WE level.





    Soon after this, war was back on with Qara, and they lost their army very quickly, and my troops layed siege. I got a new Sultan and his fresh start on legit was helpful. My WE was still in decline and stab costs were beginning to fall.

    Here's a pic of me checking stab cost on a province, just to show you how things were improving if still less than ideal. You can also see the new rulers stats.





    After this, things were kind of boring for a couple years. I had truce flags with most of my neighbors, so even the ones I wanted to invade would get peace for now.

    Burgundy continued to attack me from the sea and I helped them keep their war factories open by wiping out their armies, requiring replacements to be built.

    A couple years of Zzzz. Then I annexed Persia, and with a new horde border, war with the Tims was back on. Yay!





    The death toll was high as always. I was having a tough time with Tims tbh due to their army still being over 120k strong.

    Huge clashes broke out in the East with Tim force concentrations reaching over 50k at times in a single fight.

    I saw GH timer would be coming to an end soon, so accepted WP from Burgundy in order to move forces to the GH border.

    In this shot you can see over 100k Tims right there in these border battles, interupted by the occasional revolt.





    I gave the Tims a good beating, knocking their troop strength down to under 60k and driving their WE up to over 8! It's hard to give Tims that much WE, but I suspect they did most of that to themselves by marching too many stacks around together.

    I gave them peace, expecting the GH war to be on very soon, but they had a TSC going on so I wasn't sure when that war would restart.

    in 1476 the last Qara province was colonized, and for the -first- time ever in the game I was at peace on all fronts! I let my WE continue to decline, dropping well into safe levels.

    This brief period shall be long remembered as the year of peace! Not sure if it was a whole year, but whatever. (actually it was 4 months and 2 days, but the peasants don't have calanders.)





    Then the GH was was back on and my troops were more ready than ever. As expected, a wardec came in once I was fighting GH again. Mmmkay.

    Again, Algiers. Again, no CB. WTF?!! I was getting really annoyed with those idiots. They constantly drug along the Mams, which meant I didn't get my CB annexation costs, which was the only reason why the Mams still existed. This time I was gonna get midievil on them!!! DIE!!!!






    Armies ->Mams. All enemy forces -COMPLETELY- destroyed. Navies: dead. Enemy corpses used to make chum for fishing. Armies: wiped out. Enemy skulls, swords, and armor used to make giant monument to their deaths in the shape of a giant insulting hand gesture.

    OE armies marched/assaulted their way right across North Africa all the way to the Algerian capital and beyond. I had had -enough- of them. I was going to kill them all! And I did.

    Mams got peace: give up all cores, all money, all alliances, all hope.

    I took my agression out on GH too, and then gave them peace. For now.

    Algiers got peace: give up half your land. Not to me... release Morocco. Morocco, now my ally. But they were them, and thus I broke the alliance the same day. 'They' weer not fit to be my friends! Nobody was, because they all sucked.

    WTF Spain!? Start annexing North Africa already so I can have a land war with you!





    And then I was... at peace again? Hmm, this was really getting weird. My WE dropped even lower and I considered switching to empire, but the stab penalties were still too high.

    War with Tims was back on very soon after anyway, so I went after Fars. I used spies to capture without assault so I didn't get run over while at low morale. Then -right- after, I got the event that gives new spies. Cool!

    Then England insulted me. I was shocked?!! I couldn't believe that they'd be so stupid. They called for a crusade!





    I was right here, and they decided to crusade against Muscowy? This was an outrage! I took out my anger on the Tims!

    And that, is where I'll leave this update.

  14. #74
    Field Marshal loki100's Avatar
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    ach, too much peace in that update ... i was hoping you'd be setting new records in terms of W/E, and it seems as if some of your enemies are looking for softer targets?
    Remember, whatever the question, the answer on 18 September is Yes ...

  15. #75
    Quote Originally Posted by loki100 View Post
    ach, too much peace in that update ... i was hoping you'd be setting new records in terms of W/E, and it seems as if some of your enemies are looking for softer targets?
    I know! My WE dropped down under 5! I had a combined total of about 9 months without war, but that was largely due to TSC with GH. If they'd been on time, that second 'peace' moment would never have happened. Castile never took over Africa because in the time they normally do so, they'd first fought France, and then me, and I kept slaughtering their forces to the point that they'd be unable to wage war again until my next war with them. But by giving me a breather, they made a huge mistake that allowed me to expand more. I doubt I'll be getting rid of my overextension penalty any time soon.

  16. #76
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    This is my new favorite AAR.

  17. #77
    @TonyJoe: Thank you sir!

    And for the record, I'll make up for that 9 months of peace, I promise. :P

  18. #78
    Lost in Time Ashantai's Avatar
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    Great update!
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  19. #79
    1481-1490 The OE inheritance of the HRE! Mmmkay, probably not.

    So I started the decade with the slaughter of many Tims. Other than huge piles of bodies all over Persia, there wasn't much else going on. I was watching my truce timer with the Mams becouse I was NOT going to let them escape any more. No matter what else might take place, the day my truce was over, I was going to kill them! GH and Bohemia were beating eachother up pretty good! The Burgundians were again sending troops for me to kill, so all was well.




    The Forces of Burgundy kept hitting me in Southern Greece. It was too easy! I just kept smashing them into nothing, over and over. Their navy was still to much for mine in an even fight, but it was easy to avoid them as long as I didn't get distracted.

    Ummm oops! I got distracted. My navy was engaged, and somehow, almost won! It wasn't until the very last die roll that the Burgundian fleet pulled out a win by a hair with a 9 to 0 roll in their favor.




    The body count continued to rise in the East. I was going to punish the Tims for the crime of being on my border! I beat their stacks down as soon as they showed up on the border.

    Finally after a lengthy effort, I got my prize in Timmy land! Fars defected, giving me a COT.

    I then had two events that gave me a net nothing. A stab hit and a stab gain. The game wasn't done trolling me however, and there'd be more stab losses in the future! :P

    Early in '82, the war was back on with GH. I was content to watch them fight Bohemia, so made peace. I wanetd Bohemia to bleed a little before getting a border with me and giving me my first HW CB on part of the Empire!

    And then, the moment I'd been waiting for arrived.





    30k OE stormed the border, assaulting and killing everything in sight. The Mam armies were crushed by the stampede of OE cavalry. It took only months to capture most of the Mam territory along the North acros to Libya. I let my vassals hit him in the South, a process that would take more time, this way I could move those armies via sea if needed.

    And then, something awesome happened! Muscowy had been annexed! No, not by crusaders, they all sucked to much. But anyhow, that left it open for a new crusade target, and I was again elevated to my rightful place as public enemy number one for Christians everywhere!





    To bad for them!!! There would be no great liberation of the holy lands; no hero to save the world. They were all doomed because they were 'them', and they could stick that crusade right up thier...!

    My Sultan was so happy he choked on a chicken bone and died. This came with a stability hit because peasants were now affraid of the evil chickens, but his son had 6 admin skill, removing the overextension penalty! There was much rejoicing!

    Of course because I'd been working on stab so hard earlier, it was already past the level needed to gain a point. Perfect!

    And then another awesome event. Smugglers! Cool! I let them run rampant because I didn't have the cash to stop them. Good times! I was so excitied I killed more people to celebrate!

    The best part was a Mam army showed up from down South to join the party! They were quickly slaughtered in keeping with our traditional festivities. Tradition is important!





    With so much blood, the Sulatn was 'in the mood' and made a great heir who'd one day go on to kill many people.

    Even after killing -MANY- Burgundians in a short period of time, they still had a high force strength. They sued for peace and we gave it to them after a second naval defeat.

    I continued to hold Mam territory waiting on my vassals to deal with the high attrition provinces in the South. They were taking their sweet time about it, and the Mams had gone all the way South around the bend into suckville, provinces I really wasn't looking forward to taking to accomplish my mission. Luckily, several neighbors who'd lost land earlier restarded wars and invaded with tribesman.

    While this was all going on, I got another stab hit event. Things were just getting better and better!

    In the East, the Tim war was back on. My armies turned the Timurid front into a hamburger factory, killing -everything- over the next few years.





    GH war was back on, and they wouldn't take peace this time. I would have to inflict the beating of a lifetime on them first, so I got started doing just that.

    GH forces spilled into my territory is crazy huge numbers. So sad he didn't put these forces to use against Bohemia! My troops chased them all over! GH was sieging in about 9 provinces with a stack in each, but they'd just run away from my troops who were cruising around breaking sieges.

    I hit land tech 15. Things went from bad to worse. Not for me, for 'them'!

    As I was hammering down on the enemy, I got another awesome stab hit. It came with a free slider move, so I didn't mind as much.





    After driving up Mam WE for a while, I took their Med provinces. This gave me a border with my favorite bestest pal in Europe. Castile!





    GRRR! GH was being such a pest! They had sooo many stacks in my territory. I swept back and forth through their armies, crushing them left and right. They'd run when they could, but generally just to go siege someplace else.

    Bohemia was colonizing what would become a border province.

    Pic of my armies driving through GH all over the place:





    And then TO delared war. Oh no! Not the Order! Maybe they'd send a force to fight us this time! Umm, no.

    After giving GH a severe beating, they accepted peace and went back to fighting Bohemia. The Bohemians were now fighting France, so they gave up some ground to the Horde.

    The Mighty TO then begged for mercy.

    My war with the Tims had become even more bloody. They'd rebuilt replacement stacks and started moving in in force. It wouldn't be enough, but I gave them an A for effort.





    And that is where I leave this update!
    Last edited by Edgewise; 04-12-2011 at 04:37.

  20. #80
    Lost in Time Ashantai's Avatar
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    More carnage!
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    Downfall: A Byzantine Narrative AAR. See the fall of the mightiest empire the world has ever seen. On Hold 3rd Place OVERALL EU3 (Highest Narrative) AARland Choice Awards Q3 2012!
    The Grey Eminence: A British Narrative/History AAR. Witness the rise of Great Britain to world power! COMPLETE! WINNER EU - Narrative for AARland Choice AwAARds 2012 Q1!
    The Eternal Exile: Nation Hopping AAR with a mix of narrative and game-play. On Hold. | WINNER EU - Narrative for AARland Choice AwAARds 2011 Q1!

    Winner: AAR Showcase 29/11/2011 | Winner: Character Writer of the Week 19/1/2012 | Winner: Fan of the Week 20/9/2010 and 20/8/2012 | I was Character Writer of the Week 13/12/2010

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