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Thread: Kill. Them. All.

  1. #21
    Sergeant SiikFajitas's Avatar
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    Wow you are really taking a conservative strategy :P
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  2. #22
    1411-1420


    1411, the GH war was back on. My troops were inbound from rebel killing when GH troops started to pour in. In the East, I slaughtered the Qara-bla-bla army.



    Authors note: Some of you may have read my other AAR's. It's very important that I point out that I'm playing OE, who's armies at game start are the best in the world. I already have an edge over Horde troops, and with MD it's a big edge, unlike Muscowy in the early years and -very- unlike Vijayanager. My disadvantage in this game will be having many wars on many fronts, being invaded along a very large coast, but don't forget my armies are the BEST!!!!! Now back to the update.

    With so much killing, of course it's not hard to have good generals. My Eastern army crashed into and destroyed -every- GH army on the western front. DIE!



    Several nations sent me warnings. Mmkay. Venice used spies to start revolts. Sigh. With no more GH in my space, it was time to tend to some Byziness! Get it? Ha!

    I started moving an army over to Thrace. Declared war.



    I sieged all over in Qara Koyunlu when Georgia sprang free again in another province. Hmm. Wardec. Siege. Annex. Morocco declared war again. Sigh. Shouldn't they be Spaniards by now? More nations sent warnings. OE Response: Suck it. Kartli colonized. Peace made with Qaralala, pay me money for 5 years.

    War back on with Tims! They have no troops on the border. I want to colonize Budjak next. Meh, peace.



    GH came back into western territories with new armies. And they died. Morocco came from the sea. They died too. More GH. More Die! More Morocco. GRRR! so much walking. Then more dying. I am SO going to beat his... when I get a navy.



    Then. Finally. Budjak!



    New troops types! Yay! OE>all! Hungary, warning us already, declares war. Idiot.



    Made peace with GH. Chased around Hungarian army. Let vassals siege. Killed more Morocco dudes. Savoy and other junior partners demand I release all vassals, give them 81 ducats, release 2 countries to make them not hurt me. Heh.

    Mamaluks declare war! Laugh.



    Mams have stack near Mus. My army -> Invade. Kill. Chase. More Kill. More naval invaders. More walking around the Balkans killing.

    Hungary offers white peace. This is them. OE reply: LOL! I got a piece for you, but not white peace.



    Then this:



    Mams want peace now too. OE response: Kill yourself. More killing naval invaders. More sieging. Then peace, I take some land.



    Now I'm just fighting Hungary. I had a mission on the Knights. I hate that crap province! Cancel!!!! Mission: Albania. Take. Venice owns.

    Venice: Annoying. Blue. Next to me. Reasons for them to die.

    Wardec!



    More invading. More killing. More sieging.

    I made peace with Hungary and friends: Transylvania = vassal. Hungary cedes Dalmatia. I picked up lots of Infamy. Mmm, yummy infamy!

    OE dispatch to the world. You all suck. Bite me. Istanbul is now the center of the world, so bow down!



    Then, more naval landings. More walking, more killing. Tim war back on. Troops are ready!!!

    Some guy with an axe and pointy horned helmet declares war! He's far away.



    They do send some forces. They die. Everyone dies. Except OE, we kill.
    More naval invasions, more walking, more killing... BUT! for the first time, we killed some English!!! It was just a few, just enough to know what I had to do with the rest of them. Kill them all obviously, duh!



    Then more Tims. More killing. More navies. GAH! almost bumped into English fleet chasing other navies. Fleet hides! Armies kill! More Tims. More Kill! More and more and More Tims! So much walking. So much killing!



    And so ended the second decade, with many wars.

  3. #23
    First Lieutenant VagabondvonLMG's Avatar
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    Y U HATE TIMUIDS SO MUCH?

    You're like Mel Gibson and England (Has anyone else noticed that half of his movies involve fighting the English?)
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    Leopard on my right!

    This Time, It's For Real! - Finished

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  4. #24
    Lol I'm only hating them here for all the times they invaded OE in sooo many other games.

  5. #25
    First Lieutenant VagabondvonLMG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edgewise View Post
    Lol I'm only hating them here for all the times they invaded OE in sooo many other games.
    I suppose that is a valid reason.....
    Cobra on my left,
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  6. #26
    I think by 1430 I've been at war every nation in Europe at least once, EXCEPT very oddly, no war v Spain, no war v Portugal. They've been fighting France most of this time!

  7. #27
    First Lieutenant VagabondvonLMG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edgewise View Post
    I think by 1430 I've been at war every nation in Europe at least once, EXCEPT very oddly, no war v Spain, no war v Portugal. They've been fighting France most of this time!
    Him.....We must change this, hmmmmmm?

    I'm serious about this Mel Gibson thing, you guys!!!
    Cobra on my left,
    Leopard on my right!

    This Time, It's For Real! - Finished

    Not dead

  8. #28
    Captain Sethanon's Avatar
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    I usually find slightly more realistic AAR's to be nicer to read. However I have to admit sometimes you just need someone with a big gun blastin his way in!

  9. #29
    Major il_loco's Avatar
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  10. #30
    1421-1430 A decade of Peace! Yeah right.

    I killed some Tims. Took a breather. Gathered more troops. Killed more Tims. There were LOTS of Tims.

    More warnings from nations all over the known world. More crazy peace offers. More OE telling them where they can stick what. Rising Venice WE, but no Albania.

    More navies died. English fleet dropped off English troops, then chased me into port. Rebel bashing. So much walking all over the place! More English troops slaughtered!!



    In the East I was still fighting Tims; they were putting up a hard fight just by virtue of volume. Killing so many people is time consuming! Qara troops were just an annoyance, but enough to be a distraction for some of my troops. Then, war V GH again.



    Alania is colonized. YAY!

    Peace offered by Vikings. Whatever. Go braid your facial hair.

    Peace made with Tims and Qara. We're busy killing other people, come back later.

    Warning from Trebizon. OE Response: Wardec. Assault. Annex.



    Killed some GH troops. More walking. Killed naval landing forces. Walked back. Killed more GH.



    Killed even more GH. Pushed them back. Assaulted Bessarabia. Colony failed. Colony failed. Colony failed. Again. &*%@#!! sigh.

    Killed more GH. More walking. More killing. More &#@%!! Then finally... one stuck!



    More GH killed, more naval landing forces destroyed. Morea under siege, can't use my navy to get to it.

    Morea captured. Acheae in the way. I think you know the drill.



    Countries we're at war with: Many. Poland and Lith join, allied with... someone, dunno, don't care. Whatever. Die.

    More walking. More killing. More chasing GH all over the place.



    I was killing lots of Italians now, mostly from naples. They kept sending over stacks, and I kept killing them. Venician Navy was still too strong for me, almost 50 ships in one big stack.

    Negative stab hit. Awesome. WE still floating around 10. Rebels popping up occasionally.

    TO declares war. Mmkay.

    Algeirs declares war. Closer. Their allies Mamaluks join. Closerest!
    Armies invade-> kill, chase, kill more, siege.

    Check on our colony. Puny. Colonists: 0. Peace made with GH. We will kill you more later.

    Venice finally brings it's army over to the balkans! They die.

    Naples peaced out.



    Venice makes peace. Give me all your money + Albania. Release Byzantium.

    Byzantium was then my ally, but with all the wardecs flying around they would either break it or get annexed. Either one would work for me. New mission: Annex Mams. Awesome!

    Stability penalty of 28? Wasn't enough. Ottoman Tolerance, now penalty is 38%.

    Burgandy declared war. OE response: Bring it.

    WP with Austrian alliance.



    Another stab hit. Awesome! More rebels.

    Brittany sends troops and a navy. They all die.

    Burgandy sends troops and navy. Navy is scary, lives. Troops die.

    Peace with Mams, give up your cores. Infamy cost would be too high to take territory because AI is too retarded to start the war with a proper CB.

    Qara war back on. Troops dispatched to go kill them.

    Slider shift->Centralized. -1 stability. Super!

    Qara owned. Dagestan colony failed. Chair flipped over by irritated player. Qara troops running around, fleeing my forces. Tim war back on.

    Colony failed. Player then loudly tried to rationalize with his computer, which is not rational, but seems to have worked.

    More Burgundians killed.

    More countries declared war. Yawn. Byzantium dishonors the call. Great! Another warning. Whatever.

    After sending a mere 1800 colonists (200 each on Horde provinces) SUCCESS!



    Peace made with Qara. Admit that you suck and go stand in your corner.

    I started having frequent problems with rebels now. Burgandy made peace with Byz: they cede crete.

    More Tims killed. More Burgundians killed.



    GH war back on. BIG stack hits me in Bujak. More GH killed!



    So another decade, and as you probably noticed, more war.

  11. #31
    Lost in Time Ashantai's Avatar
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  12. #32
    Field Marshal loki100's Avatar
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    I do like Ottoman AARs ... and appreciate ones as subtle as this. If it goes wrong, its gonna go wrong dramatically.
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  13. #33
    Second Lieutenant
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    Wow, I can hardly fight a one front war without too much problem!!!
    With battles like that how do you keep such a high manpower?
    How many troops do you have actually?

  14. #34
    Brilliant as always.

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  15. #35
    Spectacular. The carnage is overwhelming. I love it.
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  16. #36
    People's Commissar of the Navy Demi Moderator Avindian's Avatar
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    How were you able to annex Thrace? You mention in a later update that Byzantium still exists, so I'm a little confused.

    Very interesting stuff, with plenty of action! I tried playing as the Ottomans once, but then I got HttT and forgot about it; with the victories you're winning, maybe I should give it another try!
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  17. #37
    Colonel Prince of Savoy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Avindian View Post
    How were you able to annex Thrace? You mention in a later update that Byzantium still exists, so I'm a little confused.

    Very interesting stuff, with plenty of action! I tried playing as the Ottomans once, but then I got HttT and forgot about it; with the victories you're winning, maybe I should give it another try!
    Looks like it revolted in Athens.

  18. #38
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    This is crazy! I like it =D
    One does not simply walk into Mordor, but if one did, it would probably be the shortest walk ever.

  19. #39
    Quote Originally Posted by Avindian View Post
    How were you able to annex Thrace? You mention in a later update that Byzantium still exists, so I'm a little confused.

    Very interesting stuff, with plenty of action! I tried playing as the Ottomans once, but then I got HttT and forgot about it; with the victories you're winning, maybe I should give it another try!
    I think he got Venice to release it as part of the peace deal.

  20. #40
    People's Commissar of the Navy Demi Moderator Avindian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Prince of Savoy View Post
    Looks like it revolted in Athens.
    Ah hah! That explains it!
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