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Thread: Kill. Them. All.

  1. #161

    So there I was, minding my own business and not causing any trouble when the maniacal warmongering dudes next to me warned me. Affraid for the safety of my nation, I declared war on them. And their allies too, for good measure. Seperately. Ming joined the war along with a few other unmentionables.

    They all died. In huge amounts.

    Then there was the annexation of whatever their name was, and several provinces taken from their friends for good measure. They should pick better friends!

    Unfortunately, this left me with a errm shall we say bad reputation, so we decided to maintain a low profile for a while and stuck to horde bashing.

    My economy was starting to pick up! Slowly but surely the grinding wheels of destiny were cranking up to economic superpowerdom.

    Then, in a totally unprovoked and disgraceful manner, Castille insulted us by getting a core on one of their former provinces!

    W. T. F?!! It was an OUTRAGE! Or at least, I was planning to see it that way. I looked at my empire and realized my troops were spread all over the place and busy chasing rebels. So I built another 150k or so forces -JUST- for this upcomming special occasion.

    I checked over the various cascading alliance chains and decided I'd just save up several diplomats and declare several wars. F. IT!!!

    It had been too long since I had a really -really- big party. Peace was made with most of the hordes, they all pay me money! I didn't have the colonists for all of them at once anyhow. And then, I started a bunch of wars.

    YES!!! There was a rediculous amount of people dying. I lost count pretty quickly on the number of stacks wiped on both sides, mostly theirs duh.

    Bohemia, demanding yet again to be a part of the festivities joined in!

    This would be their last party.

    I built even more armies because... why not?

    It was complete chaos all across my northern front which was basically all across Europe. Armies from all over the place were marching around and dying. THIS was what it was all about. Killing them all!

    I was having -such- a good time, I sorta didn't notice some rebels err yeah.

    This happened:

    Reborn from rebels, Novgorod had become the only Russian minor left with more than 1 province.

    They'd been allied with Castile oddly after the first rebels started there, and they were the first ones down.

    Everyone was putting up such a good fight, it was unfortunate that they all had to die but this game theme was sorta like the highlander movie; There can be only one!

    As this was going on, I was still finishing off my two first big 'thems' that really had to go. Tims and GH were both no more!

    I can't even gues how many people were dying, but it was many! Eventually, only tiny 1-2k armies were left. I reorganized my forces and soon my enemies were burried under a blanket of OE arty stacks!

    I'd been getting lots of crapy events either costing stab, bad slider moves, or negative research.

    Finally, I got a good one! The game was rewarding my blind agression with more land tech!

    Prussia was the next to fall. Well maybe Castille was first, but I wasn't letting them off with 'peace'.

    I took 5 provinces outside of the HRE because I didn't want to make peace to remove any from Imperial domain.

    Then 2pm Orissa sent me a warning. Bah! I had no CB. So I started a religious revolt hoping to flip them to a non-Muslim nation.

    And that was that.

  2. #162
    *does a happy dance at the killing of all those "thems"*

  3. #163
    It was a pretty cool war, not often I do such a massive scale zerg wave. That's about 200k troops -just- in Prussia there, hehe. Another 80k or so were in Iberia and 60k in the Bohemia area.

    My 'assault' stacks (14k inf 1k cav) are almost gone from Europe at this point. I still have 2 in OE Britain because GB still have level 1 forts everywhere except London.

    The siege stacks are all 3 inf, 2 cav, 5 arty or the same ratio scaled up.

    'Normal' stacks 30k or under are 60/40 inf cav with no arty for speed reasons.

    My beefy doom stacks on the border with Bavarian HRE are 12 inf, 8 cav, 15 art.

  4. #164
    People's Commissar of the Navy Demi Moderator Avindian's Avatar
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  5. #165
    Quote Originally Posted by Avindian View Post
    I hope you dismantle the HRE, just for fun. I'm surprised that defection event fired; I've never seen it happen in DW.
    There is a chance for it to fire for each province. It fired about 8 times over a few years for me, but I was holding onto many provinces. I tried it with Castille for a while but their WE max was under 15 (14.52) so it never happened.

    As for the HRE thing, you'll have to see in the next updates what happened! :P

  6. #166

    I was just minding my own business killing people when a comet destabalized my country. Mmmkay. I will kill you comets!!! I will kill them all one day.

    I continued to hold onto Castillian provinces for a while, letting my BB decline slightly and lowering the asking price of the provinces I wanted, then took the northern part of Iberia.

    The new Spain:

    Right after this I decided that I liked the crazy Bohemian style of attacking against all odds, so they became part of 'us'.

    This resulted in a new HRE to beat on. Yay!

    Sooo what would my next event be? Printing Press maybe? We are awesome and get free prestige?

    Maybe not.


    Then some guy decided he needed some money to find India! Hmmm. Obviously he was insane, so we gave him money and a boat hoping he'd never return.

    I let BB cool down for a while and kept working on Gov tech. I hit 30 and changed Gov to dictatorship (fits me I think) and next NI was cabinet. Mmm!

    Somehow, my dictator leader convinced everyone he's not really a bad guy!

    Now I had a CB for Orissa, so I used it. Wardec, assault, annex.

    Then I just started wardecing people and taking land because they were them.

    As this was going on, I was building more armies for the biggest party yet in the West. With cabinet, I figured it should be war all over! Would just have to wait on peace treaties till BB allowed.

  7. #167
    Major TonyJoe's Avatar
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    I know you're not detailing the stability increases like you are the stability decreases but after all those events how do you keep getting back up to +3? Every point of stability must be really expensive.

  8. #168
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  9. #169
    Quote Originally Posted by TonyJoe View Post
    I know you're not detailing the stability increases like you are the stability decreases but after all those events how do you keep getting back up to +3? Every point of stability must be really expensive.
    Lots of cathedrals and a few fine arts academies. And... a cranking economy!

    Quote Originally Posted by sprites View Post
    Onward to world conquest!
    Working on it. :P

  10. #170
    1641-1646: WAR ALL OVER YEA!!!


    Finished taking a bit of land in the East, moved forces around.

    Started tossing around wardec's in the west, starting with the new HRE.

    I had 100k forces on the border, vs about 180k Bavarians + 30-40k Vassals. This was the first fight:

    My first 30k army was almost totally wiped out before reinforcements arrived. One or two days longer and that army would have wiped.

    I pulled that army back after it absorbed the first 'shock' of the 155k or so enemy, then my 2 x 35k armies did some work!

    I chased down the enemy but my slower arty heavy stacks were slow, so most of the enemy attack stacks survived their retreat.

    As more enemy stacks rolled in from a horde of Bavarian vassals, I pulled in another 30k stack off the Prussian front. I didn't want a pitched battle, I wanted battlefield supremacy.

    Hammer and anvil time!

    Stack after stack of enemy was exterminated. In a few huge battles taking only a few months, 180k Bavarian troops + 30-40k vassal stacks were destroyed.

    Italy was a secondary front, but here too the enemy came and died in tens of thousansd at a time, roughly 50k total.

    In less than half a year, over 250k enemy was wiped out on those two fronts.

    My forces advanced with arty siege stacks rolling in behind them to start the occupation process.

    Having run out of targets, new wars were started.

    Mecklenburg!!! for spamming my COT's constantly with merchants, DIE!

    Then I got another AWESOME event. Comets? no, even better.


    I was so happy, I had to kill someone.

    Netherlands!!! for being so... Nethery. DIE!

    Then Wardec V Saxony because they were right next to my army and I was running out of places to send stacks. SUCK IT!

    Remember wardecing me 2 hundred years ago just because? Now you die!

    Ah, it was starting to feel like good times.

    I killed them all.

    I occupied all of Netherlands except their non-Euro provinces and took land leaving enough time for another Holy war!

    Then another SUPER event. Corruption? Comet? No, even better!

    Smugglers wanted to run rampant again! Just like my army was! I normally endorse such behavior, but not when it costs me money for a decade or more.

    I was so greatful, I annexed Mecklenburg!

    I was running out of 'them'! I needed more targets. Great X was next!

    Then Savoy for being red! ONLY OE SHOULD BE RED!!! DIE!!!

    Ahh, nice relaxing violence.

    Not sure which song was most appropriate for the moment, but either "Bodies" by Drowning Pool or "F the World" by Insane Clown Posse probably works best.

    More killing 'them' to come. I promise.

  11. #171
    Nice to see you're indulging in the traditional pre-1650 murderfest. I guess you're going to go all nationalismy afterwards, right?

  12. #172
    Quote Originally Posted by Rabid View Post
    Nice to see you're indulging in the traditional pre-1650 murderfest. I guess you're going to go all nationalismy afterwards, right?
    Ummm any CB will do really, I'm not that picky. Switching to Dictatorship gave me Imperialism which I think should tide me over till Rev/C-Rev.

  13. #173

    Umm if you guesed more war, you are correct!

    I had some wars going as you may remember, so I decided the best thing to do was start more.

    First there was the Prussians!

    Wardec->Invade->Kill->etc, etc.

    And then there were these other guys who were right by where my armies were already at so...

    And of course the Spussians. How can I not kill them more?

    It's a patriotic Duty for OE to wipe them from the game!

    Armies went in, killed everything, spread out, assaulted, bla bla like this:

    And while this was going on my next event was just as good as the last 5-6!

    And right after that I made peace with Great X.

    I took the rest of GB except 2 provinces I had cores on which I'd pick up later for free.

    My armies were going crazy. They were everywhere killing everything!

    I was even killing rebels in other peoples provinces who I wasn't even fighting.

    I had about 8 generals all created at 98-100 tradition.

    Eventually they killed and assaulted and plundered enough to finally do this:

    Hmm. HRE? Who's that? NOBODY HAHAHA!!!

    OE to Europe: You are all going to die, and sooner rather than later. Be affraid. Flee to the new world. OE will find you.

    My navy was killing everything in the water too. The best part was... it was all carracks and caravels still!

    Nobody had been able to build a decent fleet since... ever, so I didn't need better ships.

    Keepin' it old school:

    Sooo then I started annexing.

    Saxony was first. Others would take time, damn level 3 forts everywhere!

    My first provincial defection from the Spussians:

    Then another crazy man wants to find India... wtf does he not even know the map of his own country?

    I put him in charge of my auxiliary navy because I can respect crazy!

    And I ended the decade making peace! Sort of.

    Another 'them' became 'us'.

  14. #174
    Major TonyJoe's Avatar
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    So why is France so quiet? You think she would have jumped into the fight at some point. By the time she does you'll be unstoppable (though I guess you already are).

  15. #175
    How did I manage to NOT stumble upon this one before???

    Bloody fantastic!
    War, it's faaaaantastic.

  16. #176
    Lost in Time Ashantai's Avatar
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  17. #177
    Quote Originally Posted by TonyJoe View Post
    So why is France so quiet? You think she would have jumped into the fight at some point. By the time she does you'll be unstoppable (though I guess you already are).
    France is commin up in due time. They were lower on the list of them because I personally have seen France in Turkey fewer times than the others. Usually if they are there, it's from taking land from England or Castile.

  18. #178

    After a tiny bit of warmongering, I found myself occupying much of Europe. I left a couple minors free to attack now and then so I could keep these wars going. Why?

    Well, if I took everything at once, I'd be waaay over my BB limit, so I pased the time killing rebels and occassionally attacking people, and of course annexing a few here and there.

    I also wanted to sit on my war targets for a long time because the warscore costs for land were rediculous! I wasn't okay with occupying -all- of Bavaria and Vassals only to peace out for 2 measley provinces. I felt I deserved more, and the longer I sat on these guys the lower the landgrab costs would be. I wanted as much as I could get at 1 BB per province!

    First the blue guys were no more:

    Then my BB got close to zero! That wouldn't be the case for long.

    Instead of making peace for land I just started another war.

    Yemen had blobbed all over Africa, so they had some decently huge armies!

    They'd formed an empire, and maintained land tech more or less on par with Europe, so they were worth killing!

    While this was underway, I swapped the now pointless 'devine supremacy' NI for NTP.

    Then I started getting a few more defections, which was very cool:

    Of course even with so much land in hand, I still needed more people to kill, so attacked England again who still had one province on -my- British Isles.

    Scottland had been released as part of a peace deal with someone, so I'd have to take that province later in a seperate war.

    I then took all of the Netherlands except for Holland, and Netherlands moved their capital away because they didn't want to be me neighbors for some reason. They later released Holland in a peace deal with someone else.

    Sooo many rebels all over. It was good training for the troops.

    While this was going on, the outlawed science of Astronomy was still discovering comets... Sigh.

    As bad as comets were, my handling of the government was sooo awesomly briliant that I got a huge lump of cash for doing such a good job.

    Yay me!

    Long after England had given up their last shred of home, Portugal, Dotf, was still fighting. I'd been ignoring them because they were Portugal, but decided I'd take advantage of their stupidity and get some payback for the retarded peace offers they'd sent.

    I had no BB reducing CB vs them since they were not the original target, but they did have some colonies I decided would make a great place to attack the new world from.

    Those provinces would get level 4 forts as quick as I could build them, then piles of troops would sink those islands with their weight.

    Another defection! Mmmm everyone wants to be 'us'.

    A short time after this, I made peace with Prussia.

    The asking price had come down to bargain levels, so I took gobs of land, and quartered their country!

    Nobody really wanted to be them, not even them!

    Another defection!

    Then I finally gave the Bavarians a break.

    If I'd made peace right after running them over, I'd have taken away only two of the provinces I wanted. By sitting on them for so long, I got this:

    And those were some very tasty chunks of terrain!

    I saw France was eating some natives, so started a war to do the same.

    It's much cheaper to take land from the natives than from France.

    Of course I was still getting defections as well:

    And the last event of the decade, informing me that my warlike ways were uncivilized:

    And that was that.

  19. #179
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  20. #180
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