Inevitable Defeat - Slovakia '44

**Nathan Madien** · 07-12-2011 16:59

Originally Posted by NapoleonComple

To be fair to the Germans, imminent annihilation by one of the most battle-hardened, nigh-inexhaustible military juggernaughts in world history does tend to inspire negligence of other matters!

So? Being steamrolled doesn't excuse you from meeting your obligations. Germany should've taken better care of Slovakia.

**Surt** · 07-12-2011 17:11

Darn, I knew there was a reason I don't play puppets so often!

**El Pip** · 08-12-2011 08:17

loki100 - Or indeed the British coming up from Italy. Or if they are really unlucky the British coming from France. Basically there are a lot of trains rushing towards Slovakia, why worry about just one?

Baltasar - It's a beautiful sight trust me.

Nathan Madien - To be fair if the Germans were nice chaps they wouldn't have made Slovakia a puppet in the first place, so it's a bit late to start acting surprised!

NapoleonComple - You get to keep some, just any excess goes to the master. This is not a problem provided you are running surpluses, if you're not (and Slovakia is running relatively vast deficits) then it does get a bit messy.

Sir Humphrey - No they really aren't, German railways make very inefficient use of their tracks with slow timetables and vast gaps between trains. However that does mean they are very punctual so the light will arrive bang on time to flatten Tiso and Tuka.

Stuyvesant - As mentioned there are trains in every direction, this issue will be discussed in future updates.

And I do like; "Slovakia, the little nation that couldn't." Seems a very good epitaph.

Nathan Madien - Well Germany didn't annex the whole of the country, just the Czech half, does that count as taking care?

Surt - It is a challenge, and not one I do if I weren't writing this AAR to be honest.

**El Pip** · 08-12-2011 08:20

23rd June 1944

Leaving the whole issue of resources behind, Tuka and Tiso returned to the Ministry of Production to discuss the demands of the General Staff. Pruzinksy handed over the latest estimate.

A balanced request, a couple of thousand brigades but only four air wings. The Slovakian General Staff had heard of air-ground co-operation but thought it was a rubbish idea.

"2000 brigades! That's six million men! Do we even have that many people in the country?" Tiso exploded.

"I've no idea." Pruzinksy admitted. "We still haven't finished counting the census." He explained, gesturing to one of the corners of the building. "It's taking ages to count all those forms by hand."

"What you need is some kind of machine for tabulating censuses." Tiso opined. Privately he wondered if turning down the smoke and fire production might let people work faster. Or at least cut down on the number of fatal industrial accidents involving giant cog wheels and gouts of flame.

"I have heard great things about a difference engine produced by an Britisher named Mr Babbage, but I fear it's advanced principles may be beyond us." Pruzinksy lamented.

It's a sad sight - Slovakia lacked the technology to even know they lacked the technology to make Census Tabulation Machines. Enough to depress even Pruzinksy.

**loki100** · 08-12-2011 09:11

well at least your generals don't want any of these new fangled tank-things

If Pruzinksy is depressed then the rest of the country must be leaping off tall buildings?

**Baltasar** · 08-12-2011 12:49

2000 brigades! Slovenia probably needs to invent cloning technologies to produce that many men... not that they would be of any use, considering the shortage of eveverything they already face without the need to supply 6 million men / clones.

**Nathan Madien** · 08-12-2011 18:10

Originally Posted by loki100

If Pruzinksy is depressed then the rest of the country must be leaping off tall buildings?

I don't think Slovakia has any tall buildings to leap from, judging from appearances.

**eqqman** · 08-12-2011 20:30

Originally Posted by Baltasar

2000 brigades! Slovenia probably needs to invent cloning technologies to produce that many men... not that they would be of any use, considering the shortage of eveverything they already face without the need to supply 6 million men / clones.

Well, if you actually had six million men together in one spot, they could win even if naked by swarming over the enemy. They would have to run out of bullets eventually!

**Baltasar** · 08-12-2011 23:20

Originally Posted by eqqman

Well, if you actually had six million men together in one spot, they could win even if naked by swarming over the enemy. They would have to run out of bullets eventually!

Really, the vision of 6 million naked Slovakians is something to put fear into someones mind... *shiver*

**Stuyvesant** · 09-12-2011 02:45

Originally Posted by Nathan Madien

I don't think Slovakia has any tall buildings to leap from, judging from appearances.

They'd be shooting themselves - if only the army had any bullets.

I think the General Staff has made a reasonable analysis of what it needs to at least slow down the advance of the Russians, the Americans, the British (oh, go on, the French, too) - it's not their job to find the troops, that piffling detail is best left to the civilians.

Mind you, the thought of a vast cavalry horde of 180-250 divisions... It's enough to make Genghis Khan soil his pants.

**Nathan Madien** · 09-12-2011 03:02

Originally Posted by Stuyvesant

Mind you, the thought of a vast cavalry horde of 180-250 divisions... It's enough to make Genghis Khan soil his pants.

Actually, if I was Genghis Khan and I saw a vast cavalry horde of 180-250 divisions, I would fall to the ground laughing hysterically. A couple experienced, well-trained, and well-supplied divisions led by Khan could probably cut through a vast horde of inexperienced, poorly trained, and poorly supplied divisions like a warm knife through butter.

**Stuyvesant** · 09-12-2011 03:08

Well, okay, there's that...

Point conceded.

**Surt** · 09-12-2011 08:11

World census 1936 http://forum.paradoxplaza.com/forum/...=1#post1987116
says Czechoslovakia has 14 million inhabitants, if say 30% of those are Slovaks there should be around 4.2 millions before Hungary and Poland took their "share".

**El Pip** · 11-12-2011 20:28

loki100 - I dread to think what Pruzinksy would make of metal boxes! He's not depressed though, he just wants a nice shiny toy for his fire and smoke factory.

Baltasar - Hence Pruzinsky's relaxed state, if he took things seriously he might get upset.

Nathan Madien - I don't think Slovakia knows tall buildings are even possible, let alone built any.

eqqman - That plan might work in the West, but against the Red Horde Stalin may well try and use those tactics back and he has a lot of bodies to hurl at you!

Baltasar - Psychological warfare often leads to the worst scars!

Stuyvesant - Frankly I was surprised Slovakia even had the tech for Cavalry, I was expecting them to being lacking some prerequisite tech like 'Domesticated animals' or 'Fire'.

Nathan Madien - Plus the Mongols probably out-tech Slovakia.

Surt - So if they put the entire population into uniform they'll only fall ~50% short of what they need. Good to know...

**El Pip** · 11-12-2011 20:55

23rd June 1944

As Tiso and Tuka consider the inherent beauty of a fully operational difference engine, their reverie is interrupted by Pruzinsky.

"Yes if we had such a device we could perhaps recapture the lost knowledge of the ancients; so much has been forgotten, perhaps never to be re-learnt."

"Such as?" Tuka asked.

"Don't be silly, we're hardly going to know what it is if it's forgotten?" Tiso chided him.

"Not quite Mr President, snatches of knowledge have survived. Hints such as the General Staff's request for In-phant-rye." Pruzinksy replied, mangling the pronunciation terribly."

"Infantry?"

Infant-trees, apparently an ingenious way of organising your fighting men. Slovakia has no idea how you do that. Indeed Slovakia has no idea what you need to know in order to be sure you know nothing about it.

"Yes them, Infant-trees. It's a way of equipping men with weapons that is far more effective than anything we can create. Like cavalry without the horses or militia with better weapons and training. Truly they are fearsome to behold!" Pruzinsky said.

"Are fearsome? Don't you mean would be fearsome?" Tiso asked, mistakenly getting caught up in the madness.

"No definitely are. Our current infantry divisions are very impressive, if only we had any idea how to create any more of them."

Lost relics of the glorious past. Well the past anyway. Best not to mention the armoured car brigade, that would be even more confusing for the poor Ministry of Production.

**eqqman** · 11-12-2011 20:59

I'm sure there's an old copy of Aristotle or Tacitus they can use to get that stuff figured out again.

**Kurt_Steiner** · 11-12-2011 22:11

This AAR brings me memories of thy "Furious Vegeance" and that wonderful paragraph that began with "Ignoring the slight annoyance of seeing HMS Implacable not being preped for her attack on Tirpitz but sitting unfinished in a dockyard I was confused by quite a few things on this list." Yes, I got shocked by that outrage and my mind hasn't recovered from it yet.

**Baltasar** · 11-12-2011 23:36

It seems that Paradox somehow gave countries units without giving them the proper techs required for these units... Someone may have been in a hurry?

**Nathan Madien** · 12-12-2011 05:57

Give a guy a gun and tell them to aim it at the guy on the other side of the field. Then pull the trigger and a ball will pop out and hopefully hit the other guy. There! I just invented infantry for Slovakia! I will be expecting my Nobel Prize now.

**Archam** · 13-12-2011 00:14

I love your work El pip and I'll definitely follow this AAR.
I'm affraid it will be short however ! No voodoo trick will save you from the Red Army's wrath this time

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