• We have updated our Community Code of Conduct. Please read through the new rules for the forum that are an integral part of Paradox Interactive’s User Agreement.
Status
Not open for further replies.
START SCENE

Cut to VIVE L'EMPEREUR AAR HQ interior. The EMPEROR NAPOLEON is sitting in a chair stroking a cat watching as a hooded and handcuffed ANTONINE is brought before him by GUARD 1 and GUARD 2.

EMPEROR NAPOLEON: You 'ave failed me for ze last time! You assured me zees would be a popular AAR! Zat it would improve my public image!

The hood is removed from ANTONINE's head

ANTONINE: nervously I know your imperial dreadness but readers are saying we look like the villains after nuking the Germans - we don’t look like the underdogs anymore!

EMPEROR: Zees is tres unacceptable. What kind of rosbif pansies are your readers zat zey object to a leetle nuking of le Boche anyway?

ANTONINE: Mostly degenerate My Little Pony fans I expect sire, they're from the internet you know. And I never pretended we were the good guys - I just made it clear that the Germans were worse. It's not my fault they turned against us.

EMPEROR: Enough excuses! I demand le answers! ‘ow will you fix zees?

ANTONINE: sweating Erm, I think that maybe we could win back public sympathy if we were to be a bit more... fluffy.

EMPEROR: Fluffy?

ANTONINE: Yes - like distributing kittens to orphans and being democratic!

EMPEROR NAPOLEON nods to GUARD 1

EMPEROR: Pierre.

GUARD 1 hits ANTONINE over the head with a truncheon

ANTONINE: OWWW!

EMPEROR: You deesgust me! You and your stupid "fluffy". Your father was a 'amster and your father smelt of elderberries! And eef you do not come up with a good idea I will taunt you again!

ANTONINE: NO! Oh god no! Anything but that!

EMPEROR: Zen think!

ANTONINE: Okay, okay, I have an idea. How about we just say sod it?

EMPEROR: "Sod it"?

ANTONINE: Exactly! I mean, if the readers think we're the bad guys then why not go all out on being the bad guys?

EMPEROR: ...go on.

ANTONINE: I'm talking about massacring everyone who opposes us! Nuking a kitten sanctuary!

EMPEROR: pondering Hmm, I think I like zee sound of zees...

ANTONINE: shouting confidently I can picture it now! Stormtroopers! War walkers! A death star! You zapping your enemies with lightning!

The EMPEROR stands up

EMPEROR: Well done Antonine, you 'ave finally 'ad a good idea...

ANTONINE breathes a sigh of relief and is visibly relieved

EMPEROR: 'owever, zees means your services will no longer be required. Guards, take zees rosbif away!

ANTONINE: As the guards drag him away No! No! Please! I've been loyal! Please don't do this! Have mercyyyyyy!

ANTONINE is dragged away and for the remainder of the scene we hear screams coming off screen

EMPEROR: Turning to a man dressed in black armour standing behind his chair Now, Darth Gaulle, how long until ze Death StAAR is fully operational?

END SCENE

That was exceptionally funny! :D
 
I would like to try the savegame!
 
"degenerate My Little Pony fans"

I'll have you know this degenerate My Little Pony fan is still with you and the AAR. I eagerly await the next update. =)
 
Was it this AAR or the French Empire/Lovecraft AAR where De-Lattre Tassingy was told that "the emperor is not as forgiving as I am"?
 
"degenerate My Little Pony fans"

I'll have you know this degenerate My Little Pony fan is still with you and the AAR. I eagerly await the next update. =)

You are not the only MLP fan here! BEHOLD!

5rg.png


(This is a bad photoshop by me of someone else's image which can be found here)

Was it this AAR or the French Empire/Lovecraft AAR where De-Lattre Tassingy was told that "the emperor is not as forgiving as I am"?

I think it was the French Empire/Lovecraft AAR - something which I still haven't got round to reading in full but which I really should.

I would like to try the savegame!

For you, and all the others, the save game files can be found here.
 
Oh my god please don't ruin this great AAR with that MLP crap....
 
I eagerly await them, pony or otherwise. ^.=.^
 
I crash to desktop when I try to load the save game on the latest KR
 
Wait, people think you're the villain, now? Sure, you only, uh, annihilated all those people in a first strike, oppressed your way across North Africa, allied with zealots, generally turned back the clock on democracy wherever you went...

Ok, fine, lesser of two evils. The Germans are worse because they frustrate me to no end in my own KR games. Smoke 'em.
 
The Germans are worse because they frustrate me to no end in my own KR games. Smoke 'em.

The Germans are indeed the Perfidious Albion of the Kaiserriech universe and for that they must be defeated
 
I crash to desktop when I try to load the save game on the latest KR

Ah. Well I am playing this scenario in KR 1.2 - I've had to hold if on updating for that exact reason.
 
Wait, people think you're the villain, now? Sure, you only, uh, annihilated all those people in a first strike, oppressed your way across North Africa, allied with zealots, generally turned back the clock on democracy wherever you went...

Ok, fine, lesser of two evils. The Germans are worse because they frustrate me to no end in my own KR games. Smoke 'em.
In this game the Germans are (were?) actually peaceful people who voted Social Democrats into power before the war and generally acted all soft and fluffy. The sort of imperial overlord you wish you had when you're a small, backwards nation. They even got rid of many of their monarchs (and exported them to the part of France they conquered from the Syndies)

But Antoine went and nuked them to hell on day 1 of a war of aggression that he started :(

For what? So that the Bonapartist jackboot may come crashing down on all of Europe?

It almost brings tears to my eyes...
 
In this game the Germans are (were?) actually peaceful people who voted Social Democrats into power before the war and generally acted all soft and fluffy. The sort of imperial overlord you wish you had when you're a small, backwards nation. They even got rid of many of their monarchs (and exported them to the part of France they conquered from the Syndies)

But Antoine went and nuked them to hell on day 1 of a war of aggression that he started :(

For what? So that the Bonapartist jackboot may come crashing down on all of Europe?

It almost brings tears to my eyes...

Totally worth it...that is all I have to say in the matter.
 
Vive l'empereur!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.