A Descent into Madness: A Random EU 3 AAR

[Rendap]

I would be voting for re-visits as well, for obvious reasons....

[LAAT501legion]

Yeah, revisits would be cool.

[Avindian]

I think re-visits could work, not with only 10 or 20 years inbetween, but otherwise.

I would prefer a new country each time, I'd include Cultural Unions as new countries.

I think that re visiting countries could be quite funny. Maybe some old people could remember your past exploits, not knowing that it was actually you Or in case of the countries Daniel was a Daniella, he could even meet his kids (or grandkids)

A compromise would be to leave these cases to be decided by Order or another personification (who would say yes if you find room for puns or plot twists)

I would be voting for re-visits as well, for obvious reasons....

Yeah, revisits would be cool.

Looks like everybody is in some sort of agreement; I'll do revisits if they seem like they'll be interesting. I will stick to the RNG as close as possible (unless Daniel wins the bet, naturally).

[Avindian]

Bourbonnais: The last straw for Daniel's sanity?

Wakey wakey eggs and bakey!

Daniel grunted, but finally came to. "Is it time already?"

Sure is, sleepy head. I hope you haven't forgotten our... heh heh... wager.

"I have never once gone back on my word, Chaos, and I do not intend to start now."

Chaos rubbed his hands together. Excellent! To give you a sporting chance, I've made you the Duke of Bourbonnais. I forget your name, but to be honest, it probably won't matter. Still, you'll have a chance to run things rather than simply spend the first year just trying to get power.

"Uh, thanks. What's the map and the mission?"

Coming right up, boss!





"That's not too bad. Hey, we're allied to Burgundy! That's good, right?"

Sure it is, if that's what you'd like to think.

Daniel frowned. "You aren't going to be any help at all, are you?"

Well, normally I don't do this, but I'm going to throw you one more bone.

"Great."

No calamity this time; you get Bourbonnais in all of its natural power and glory. No hitches. When you fail, it will be on your own merit. Well, to be more precise, the complete lack of merit.
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Daniel was sweating bullets, and it was already 1462. He'd made one very savvy move -- a move towards quality, which got him a pretty awesome 6 star Commandant.

That, of course, was the last good thing that would happen to Daniel in Bourbonnais.

You'll need to make a move, loser. The clock's a-tickin'.

"Hey, the idea of inheriting France was pretty slick, you have to admit."

You have -31 prestige! Oh, and since Bohemia already claimed the throne, claiming it yourself would have had exactly one effect: a succession war with Bohemia. I do not think you could win that war.

"At least I ditched Burgundy!"



Yes, but even a TPM is three times better than an OPM. And now you have no friends.

"I have one last plan. It's my only hope to get out of this alive. Possibly literally."

I'm all ears! Of course, properly speaking I don't have ears, since I'm non-corporeal at this point. However, I think the metaphor still works, if you but give it a chance.

"I'm going to buy off Provence, make them my ally, and then crush another OPM!"

An intriguing plan. I can't wait to see how that goes.

A few minutes later...

"Impossible?! Why?"

They're already allied with Bohemia and three OPMs; why would they ally with you?

Daniel sighed. "Of course, I've already committed to the war."



Oh, and one more thing... Bohemia is the senior partner in a PU with France. Have fun!


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As Daniel wept, Chaos rejoiced. He'd won the bet! Not only did Provence honor their commitment to Berry, but they called in Bohemia, who called in France. Thus, we see this balance sheet:



The outcome was assured before the first shot was fired.



As Chaos made preparations for the next country, he took a moment to scan Daniel's mind. He grinned. He was beginning to crack under the strain. Best of all, Daniel was forced to watch as Chaos gleefully possessed him, body and soul, for the next ten years.

And he'd do so in... Würtemburg!
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I feel kind of guilty that this update was so short, but to be honest, only through sheer dumb luck would I have gained a single province. I was pretty much doomed the moment Bohemia PUed France. We'll see how Chaos does in the driver's seat on the next installment!

[VagabondvonLMG]

I need to stop reading this AAR, because every time I compare it to mine, I weep.

Really good writing and self-inflicted failure!

[Avindian]

I need to sto reading this AAR, because every time I compare it to mine, I weep.

Really good writing and self-inflicted failure!

Thanks for the kind words, as always! I still quite enjoy yours; it's a different kind of humor, and it's honestly given me a bit of inspiration from time to time.

[VagabondvonLMG]

Thanks for the kind words, as always! I still quite enjoy yours; it's a different kind of humor, and it's honestly given me a bit of inspiration from time to time.

Hmmm....then I shall now view your AAR and compare it to mine and weep a little less

[Memento Mori]

Why did the random country generator fall in love with the XPM'S of this area?

[blsteen]

Ouch...
that had to hurt. A Bohemian-French PU, ugh.

[Avindian]

Hmmm....then I shall now view your AAR and compare it to mine and weep a little less

That's the spirit!

Why did the random country generator fall in love with the XPM'S of this area?

It was bound to happen, unfortunately, since the vast majority of countries in the game are XPMs. I anticipate that will happen less and less as the game progresses.

Ouch...
that had to hurt. A Bohemian-French PU, ugh.

It most certainly was not a pleasant surprise

[Memento Mori]

It most certainly was not a pleasant surprise

... unless you get to play as Bohemia after Wurtenburg

[Tanzhang (譚張)]

Yeah, I felt it could have been a little longer too...

[Prince of Savoy]

Ouch...

Daniel the Rock of Wurttemburg? :P

[Avindian]

... unless you get to play as Bohemia after Wurtenburg

That would be pretty awesome!

Yeah, I felt it could have been a little longer too...

I really need to get used to how aggressive the AI is in DW, particularly as a small country. The AI never used to actually pay attention to its SOI before. Lesson learned? Let's hope so!

Ouch...

Daniel the Rock of Wurttemburg? :P

Hmmm.... I like the sound of that!

[Rendap]

Hmm... Bohemia as senior partner to France...

I love your fail, but this is not the worst I've seen.

In one of my recent games I had Le Big Bleu Blob as senior partner to Spain and Scandinavia...... Was not a particular fun experience to be on the receiving end of that as Naples uniting Italy...

[Axelius]

Blue Blob and Bohemia Blob in a union? Is it a match made in the heavens?

[Prince of Savoy]

Hmmm.... I like the sound of that!

Yes, would he be a pro wrestler? :P

[Michaelangelo]

The game just won't give you a break. The AI is conspiring against you. I'm still waiting for the eventual success story.

[Ashantai]

Oh my, that was just so horribly funny. Hey, what's odds of 25 to 1 anyway?

[Avindian]

Hmm... Bohemia as senior partner to France...

I love your fail, but this is not the worst I've seen.

In one of my recent games I had Le Big Bleu Blob as senior partner to Spain and Scandinavia...... Was not a particular fun experience to be on the receiving end of that as Naples uniting Italy...

Ouch! That does make me feel a bit better.

Blue Blob and Bohemia Blob in a union? Is it a match made in the heavens?

As long as Austria stays out...

Yes, would he be a pro wrestler? :P

I don't see how he could not be!

The game just won't give you a break. The AI is conspiring against you. I'm still waiting for the eventual success story.

Your faith is inspiring.

Oh my, that was just so horribly funny. Hey, what's odds of 25 to 1 anyway?

If only Chaos had brought along some machine guns, then the tables would have turned!