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I love how the QM is essentially trolling Harry the entire time now :)

Keep up the good work!
 
Ah, I always enjoy the times when Harry calls on his natural nemesis for strength (no, I don't mean Astarte - to wit: "Oh god, give me strength"). :)

And the 'Daggers in the Dark' event choice texts are classic. Nice job to whomever created them.

But surely Harry can't really think that he can simply murder the Empress of Hell, Queen of Witches, etc. etc? I mean, kudos for slapping her down a bit, but he must know that he can't permanently get rid of her? Surely not even Harry is that deluded?
 
Cracking stuff, I really feel for the people of Australia though, forced as they were to put up the QM for so long. Harry's surprising bout of competency has saved them from her now however and considering Astarte's last line in the update it seems as if it will be the people of Ming who are about to suffer quite considerably once again.

[H – oh good she's being eaten by a crocodile ... or a rabbit, oh god let it be a rabbit]

Not even the QM should suffer the horror that is Thumper!
 
Holy Queen Mother of China, that's a lot of blue!
 
I love how the QM is essentially trolling Harry the entire time now :)

Keep up the good work!

they are rather linked together for a while ... but both are less than pleased at the situation

Ah, I always enjoy the times when Harry calls on his natural nemesis for strength (no, I don't mean Astarte - to wit: "Oh god, give me strength"). :)

And the 'Daggers in the Dark' event choice texts are classic. Nice job to whomever created them.

But surely Harry can't really think that he can simply murder the Empress of Hell, Queen of Witches, etc. etc? I mean, kudos for slapping her down a bit, but he must know that he can't permanently get rid of her? Surely not even Harry is that deluded?

some of the event texts are wonderful, you have the impression that someone wasn't taking it too seriously ... and yes, they both do think that she's gone ... but never fear (at the risk of spoiling the plot) she will return

Cracking stuff, I really feel for the people of Australia though, forced as they were to put up the QM for so long. Harry's surprising bout of competency has saved them from her now however and considering Astarte's last line in the update it seems as if it will be the people of Ming who are about to suffer quite considerably once again.

Not even the QM should suffer the horror that is Thumper!

Aye its no wonder that Australia has developed the way it did with that sort of intervention in its early years

Holy Queen Mother of China, that's a lot of blue!

I've given up trying to keep him to a minor role, so there is quite a lot of blue in the next post too
 
1623-1633, Yongle still fails to make an impact

17 May 1623

Ah, its nice to be back, check the peacocks, go and see the University, some fine tea ...

[H – ah its nice to be back, now who can I ... ? oh yes please]



23 May 1623

Oh am I not quality



18 November 1623

Oh, sigh, that silly man has managed to get into a fight again



Not for long

[H – oi, I was enjoying myself]


24 August 1624

Oh that was fun, I do like a nice evening out dancing



[H - ah that explains why they all ran off screaming when I came to visit]

3 January 1625



Hah, I stand by my friends, especially when it means I am in control

[H – aye, with a war against an opponent we can't really even find on the map?]

3 August 1625

[H – right lets end this nonsense]



Oi I was enjoying that ... and I'm in control ... oh do shut up Yongle

23 March 1626



Yongle is whinging again, I wish I had stayed in Australia, here am I providing stability for the realm

[H – ummh, Australia yes, that is an idea]

2 April 1626

What has he done now ... what a mess

[H -what, what's wrong now?]

All this blood

[H – I was only sacrificing some peasants ... the voices told me to do it]




23 September 1626



I do like me a nice hardy seaman ... wonder if there are any more of them around here?

2 December 1627



Am I not the genius, people defect towards me, soon I will be part of China again

25 March 1628

After all that hard work, I think I deserve a cruise



[H - good idea]


3 July 1629




[H - Arsenal? I've always hated Arsenal, why do I want more of them?]

2 February 1631



[H – thats handy, that will give the daft bat something to do when she gets back from her cruise ... oddly I'm rather missing her]

19 March 1631


[H – bored, I'm bored]



[H – oh yes, thank you]

27 March 1632

Come back from my cruise all nice and relaxed and find he has made a mess of the country again



I thought that Yongle was meant to be in charge

3 June 1632



Right that stops their petty squabbling

19 January 1633



I went to complain to Yongle about the rubbish band at the New Year's party ... I really expect him to listen to me this time



[H – oh, let me see, broken tea cup, peach stone, peacock feathers ... and a very large cannon ... ah we must have a new Emperor then?]
 
I do like me a nice hardy seaman ... wonder if there are any more of them around here?

Considering that Arsenal entered the picture only a couple of years after this, I suppose the answer would be yes. ;)
 
Oh am I not quality

Quality stuff indeed! Certainly my favourite line of the update.

[H – thats handy, that will give the daft bat something to do when she gets back from her cruise ... oddly I'm rather missing her]

I rather like that Harry and the QM are increasingly becoming ever more like an old married couple. Of course in saying that it is poor China which is forced to suffer through their constant squabbling.
 
[H – oh, let me see, broken tea cup, peach stone, peacock feathers ... and a very large cannon ... ah we must have a new Emperor then?]

Ba-dum tish... ;) Still very much an accurate observation, of course. :)

Yes, the Queen Mother and Harry: can't stand being together, can't stand being apart. I can only imagine Harry's joy when Astarte reappears as well.

By the way, I'm glad Malurous made the comment about Seaman - my mind was plunging into horrible depths of innuendo after I saw the 'Hardy Seamen' event title. Thankfully, Malurous took the sting out of that one. ;)
 
By the way, I'm glad Malurous made the comment about Seaman - my mind was plunging into horrible depths of innuendo after I saw the 'Hardy Seamen' event title. Thankfully, Malurous took the sting out of that one. ;)

I've often wondered if Paradox made that title so, uh, thought-provoking intentionally. At least this time there was another way to see it. ;)
 
[H - Arsenal? I've always hated Arsenal, why do I want more of them?]

It's fine, I'm sure it will collapse after a few good performances...
 
Considering that Arsenal entered the picture only a couple of years after this, I suppose the answer would be yes. ;)
It's fine, I'm sure it will collapse after a few good performances...

Well they'll have to pass it about a bit before sinking without a trace (I hope :unsure:)

Ba-dum tish... ;) Still very much an accurate observation, of course. :)

Yes, the Queen Mother and Harry: can't stand being together, can't stand being apart. I can only imagine Harry's joy when Astarte reappears as well.

By the way, I'm glad Malurous made the comment about Seaman - my mind was plunging into horrible depths of innuendo after I saw the 'Hardy Seamen' event title. Thankfully, Malurous took the sting out of that one. ;)
I've often wondered if Paradox made that title so, uh, thought-provoking intentionally. At least this time there was another way to see it. ;)

It is indeed asking to be misused in the wrong hands ... its a really good thing there are no spelling mistakes in that particular event

Quality stuff indeed! Certainly my favourite line of the update.

I rather like that Harry and the QM are increasingly becoming ever more like an old married couple. Of course in saying that it is poor China which is forced to suffer through their constant squabbling.

Well their relationship is about to take a new turn ... the one where the kids return after University and proceed to evict you from your home ...
 
1633-1636, Wanli II sets a new direction (& a few records)

14 January 1633

Hallo ... this is me Wanli II, the mighty.

Look at the world I inherited .... which just proves I am so important. My father was also a great man who won a great Empire. Unfortunately he also believed in all sorts of fairy stories and ghosts. Fortunately I don't.



[QM – heh, this MY diary]
[H – shhh ... this could be quite funny]

21 January 1633

Even though I am Emperor, I still have to go and meet lots of girls, apparently it is good for the state. Well it is not good for me and I am, I believe, the state.



8 February 1633

Strangely my loyal general Hongxi Song beat the traitor Hongzhi Song. Well he made a right song and dance about it, but I remain suspicious.



7 November 1633

I met the court for the first time. What a tedious bunch.



11 December 1633

And they insisted I get married again



27 August 1634


At least a war has been arranged to ease my boredom



6 September 1634

Fortunately while I off was off at war, I was able to escape the court with a cheery goodbye of wishing 'a plague on their houses'



Strange.

[H – you asked, we delivered]


6 February 1635


Attended an art show ... what tosh, I know nothing about art but I know what I like



[QM – ungrateful little wretch, I've been collecting those pictures for hundreds of years]

11 March 1635



I was already very bored, and then this happened

12 April 1635

All the whimps at court started to panic at this news ... fools the lot of them



[H – you'd better go and flash your garter belt]
[QM – harumph, why are the English so strange?]

14 May 1635



Nobody insults me,

[H – look this is serious, lay on some really special entertainment for them]
[QM – why is it always me ... and not him]
[H – well mainly as he's turning out to be a right little psycho]

10 June 1635


People are such whimps, running away at the threat of war

[QM – I needed that, nothing beats a good party]



23 June 1635

I am getting fed up with this



[H – problem is he is a .... what do they say ... an obnoxious little panda bothering oik]
[QM – and he has stolen my diary slot too]
[H – look when you invited their ambassador to your party, did you ... you know?]
[QM – No]
[H – ah that explains why they are in such a bad mood ... time to take radical steps]



6 August 1635

Now I am Emperor, I will have my own way. I have checked my father's records and there will be no place in the modern china for antique, fantasy goddesses or strange men, called Harry ... what sort of name is that anyway ... with halitosis.



Its me, me, me from now on

5 January 1636

I have just discovered I need an heir. I have at least seven wives, I'm sure one of them might just get on with it.



[QM – oh, the little brat]
[H – don't worry, he'll see sense soon enough]
 
Even though I am Emperor, I still have to go and meet lots of girls, apparently it is good for the state. Well it is not good for me and I am, I believe, the state....

...

Fortunately while I off was off at war, I was able to escape the court with a cheery goodbye of wishing 'a plague on their houses'

[image deleted for space's sake]

Strange.


[H – you asked, we delivered]


...

[H – look when you invited their ambassador to your party, did you ... you know?]
[QM – No]
[H – ah that explains why they are in such a bad mood ... time to take radical steps]

...

I have just discovered I need an heir. I have at least seven wives, I'm sure one of them might just get on with it.

[QM – oh, the little brat]
[H – don't worry, he'll see sense soon enough]

In order of appearance:

1) He seems to have beaten the Sun King by a few decades to this whole "l'Etat, c'est moi" lark.
2) I think Astarte is not going to be pleased when she learns that Harry not only killed her, but also muscled in on her territory (plagues usually being her 'thing').
3) I like how Harry sees the whoring out of the Queen Mother as less radical than parting with a trifling sum of money. :p
4) Is it time for the old, tried-and-tested 'hands-on' method of Harry's involvement in the succession matter? ;)
 
Truly brilliant, my favourite update for this AAR thus far.

[QM – heh, this MY diary]
[H – shhh ... this could be quite funny]

Harry is quite right.

Hallo ... this is me Wanli II, the mighty.

Wanli is quite right, with a military score of five he is clearly very mighty.

Even though I am Emperor, I still have to go and meet lots of girls, apparently it is good for the state. Well it is not good for me and I am, I believe, the state.

A virile young man complaining about meeting women?! Clearly the QM is more frightening than I first thought.

Strangely my loyal general Hongxi Song beat the traitor Hongzhi Song. Well he made a right song and dance about it, but I remain suspicious.

Oooft that was punishing. I couldn't help but chuckle though!

Really good stuff, I fear for poor Wanli though, about to face the wrath of Harry and the QM as he is.
 
In order of appearance:

1) He seems to have beaten the Sun King by a few decades to this whole "l'Etat, c'est moi" lark.
2) I think Astarte is not going to be pleased when she learns that Harry not only killed her, but also muscled in on her territory (plagues usually being her 'thing').
3) I like how Harry sees the whoring out of the Queen Mother as less radical than parting with a trifling sum of money. :p
4) Is it time for the old, tried-and-tested 'hands-on' method of Harry's involvement in the succession matter? ;)

1 - yep, that wee unsure little French upstart has nothing on our Wanl; 2 - she is indeed preparing a very large dish of revenge; 3 - well its a matter of priorities and at the moment I'm a bit tight for cash; 4 - yep, he does indeed take the lead in solving that problem

Truly brilliant, my favourite update for this AAR thus far.

thank you, I did think it needed a change of voice, so with his stats it seemed a good idea to put him up as this ultra-rationalist pain in the ...

Harry is quite right.

not something that is said very often ...:cool:

Wanli is quite right, with a military score of five he is clearly very mighty.

and diplo = 3, that gives him a particular set of skills methinks.

A virile young man complaining about meeting women?! Clearly the QM is more frightening than I first thought.

well she has had a stunning impact on the libido of many Emperors so far, but with Wanli I put it down to his lack of tact and utter self-absorption

Oooft that was punishing. I couldn't help but chuckle though!

Really good stuff, I fear for poor Wanli though, about to face the wrath of Harry and the QM as he is.

all AARs need good puns, and yep they both really are out to get him ... for once being paranoid is very well founded


Apols for the long gap, this has been part written for a while but a combination of work and other things have slowed progress ...
 
1636-1640, Wanli II finds its a scary world out there

16 March 1636

It is I, Wanli II the magnificent.

I do have some small problems though ... the civil service is revolting



(H – theres more to come sunny boy)

31 March 1636

... the merchants are a bunch of whinging ... whingers



(QM – you ain't seen nothing yet)

23 June 1636

People expect me to be interested in the smallest trivia, I don't even know where Ayutthaya is, never mind care who they are at war with



[QM ... errr Harry just what did you do when you took their ambassador out to dinner]
[H – lets say he had a night he won't forget in a hurry ... I don't think he appreciated my explanation of how I got evicted from the other place]



27 June 1636

oh tedious, can't people see I'm already busy



[QM – some people do not appreciate just what I had to do to achieve that ... shudder]

17 September 1636

under my glorious leadership this war will be soooo easy



[H – arrogant little brat]

8 November 1636

sooo easy, really



help ...

[QM – err, Harry, we don't want to lose ... do we? ... Harry, just where are you?]

28 April 1637



I am the greatest ever

[QM – some of us are doing all the work here ... I can never find Harry when I need him]

16 August 1637

I must have panicked too much last November, not sure where this has come from, but everyone else seems happy so it must be further proof of how wonderful I am



[H – just part of the service]

27 October 1637


I have to do everything around here ... when the Civil Service are not looting the coffers they are losing the tax money



[QM – now the peakraken is going to be cranky and wierd till I calm it down again]
[H – you should have seen it move when I lit its ...]

3 April 1638

Nobody appreciates me any more ... I still do not believe in ghosts but it is rather scary around here



I think its time to build a nice big fort and go and hide in it

[QM – what did you do?]
[H – oh just the voices and visions trick]

4 Dec 1638

oh maybe its safe to come out yet?

[QM – no its very dangerous, stay in the fort for now]

At least I have some interesting books of financial accounting to keep me entertained



2 June 1639

Since it is so dangerous out there, I want a bigger fort to hide in



and I don't care who is upset

[H – he is getting a bit twitchy isn't he?]

4 September 1639

yes, an even bigger fort, I am not ever leaving it, ever



[QM – just one more push and I'm back in power]
[H – you're back in power? Nah, me, its me who will be 'back' in power]
 
[QM – just one more push and I'm back in power]
[H – you're back in power? Nah, me, its me who will be 'back' in power]

Them's words to tempt fate if I ever saw any... I suspect Wanli will hear some more voices while tucked away safely in his fortress prison - the voice of the Empress of Hell, to be precise. I think Harry and the Queen Mother are in for a rather nasty surprise, sooner rather than later.

the war against France fares pretty well and I imagine you can continue to coast comfortably, assuming you can keep assembling those monstrously oversized fleets to swat the French ships with.
 
16 March 1636

It is I, Wanli II the magnificent.

A finer opening speech there has never been.

[QM – now the peakraken is going to be cranky and wierd till I calm it down again]
[H – you should have seen it move when I lit its ...]

What's the EUIII equivalent of the SSPCA?

And I admire his obsession with Fort building. You can't be too careful - though can a Fort protect him from peach stones, peacock-feather shuriken and similar 'accidents'?

In the game, it looks like you're doing a good job of keeping the French at a safe distance. Do they have any colonies you could liberate, or at least land some troops on to make them more likely to peace out?