The Queen Mother's Diaries: A Ming AAR

[Malurous]

Well that went as planned. At least it seems that you recovered well from the loss of the Mandate of Heaven.

Harry has become more whiny lately, hasn't he?

[loki100]

I picture (hear?) that mournful trumpet sound they like to use for comic effect on tv and radio...

Seems the wrong member of the Imperial household has been taking the 'die' part of the three-step-program to heart.


That's what she gets for hanging around with Astarte all the time... It's just not healthy.

Also liked QM's commentary on the weights and measurements event. Liked it very much.

Okay, so how bad is it/will it be to be at war with Vijayanagar, seeing as they appear to have consolidated their hold on most of the Indian Peninsula?

it did have that air of the moment when the cartoon character finds they have run over the cliff.

The war was a bit of anti-climax, Few of Champa's allies or protectors joined in (including Viyanagor) as I think they had truces in place so would have had a large stability hit. If it had come to war, I think I could have held them on a single mountain province at the worst or overrun an isolated group of their provinces. Given my relatively high infamy I was hoping they'd keep out (merely as I couldn't really gain) but I felt I could drive them to a white peace easily enough.

Good stuff. You never seem to have much luck with the stability events, the years spent without the Mandate of Heaven must have been a right pain in the backside with rebels marauding all over the nation. I do rather like the QM's forthright and simply plan for Jiajing, hopefully he puts off stage three for now though. Hopefully too if he succeeds with stage one once more, the QM refrains from anymore partying!

You really notice it with Ming, if I don't really invest it takes me 3 or so years to recover (which is my approach say between +2 and +3), but if I need to recover quickly I first stop all other investment and it still takes the best part of a year. Its really horrible later on when I start westernising.

That temporary loss of the mandate of heaven was rather underwhelming, I was expecting a hail of rebellions... I guess you recovered stability quite fast. Mind you, you are still on time for a succession war

There were a lot, but mostly relatively small peasant and noble things so relatively easy to squash at my leisure. The ones I really worried over were a couple of large nationalist revolts. But it was mostly the usual tedious (so glad its semi-automated) rebel hunting.

Well that went as planned. At least it seems that you recovered well from the loss of the Mandate of Heaven.

Harry has become more whiny lately, hasn't he?

as above it was a bit worse but mostly easy enough to resolve, main issue was the loss of an entire year of any other investments and in the Chinese tech group its slow enough at the best of times.

Harry's not really getting things his own way ... not that, as ever, is it clear to anyone (including himself) actually what he does want ... other than a best selling book ... in general that tends to make him a bit whingy. His failure to set his barbecue on fire in 'Tales' did little for his social skills either.

Next post is relatively short, but Youxue will be with us for an incredibly long period of time

[loki100]

16 February 1526



Jiajing came back from the war today, he seemed very pleased with himself.

I had to, tactfully, remind of his goals in life and that breeding was now his main responsibility

[H – aye that is what I heard, well apart from the 'tactful' bit anyway]

4 September 1526



Jiajing now has time to devote to his primary tasks. I offered him some useful advice before I left

8 September 1526



oh goodie, I raced back to tell Jiajing this would be such a good idea, he can be closer to my castle. Reminded him he has to breed first though.

11 December 1526



The boy really has the attention span of a jellfish, why is he worrying about this sort of thing when he has no heir

[H – not to worry, its all arranged]

26 April 1527



Well I don't usually associate Eunuchs with fertlitiy but I guess one uses what is to hand?

Must visit Jiajing soon and remind him of his third task

13 December 1528

You'd think it was so simple, he's produced an heir, stability is recovered, but he just fails to take the hint no matter how subtle I am



15 October 1529



oh that is nice ... I can use it to incubate the peacock eggs in

12 November 1529



Had to visit Nanjing to see if I could get the vase repaired.

Had a nice chat with Jiajing in the peach orchard ...

[H – you really have been spending too much time with Astarte haven't you?]

[aldriq]

This is the most balanced you've had the three factions for a while, though the regency will put an end to that.

Are you sparing us any semi-official explanation for the emperor's death this time for fear it would be too implausible? (i.e. He fell in the giant vase and drowned as it happened to be full of peach liquor...)

[morningSIDEr]

I do really rather love that the QM's version of tact is to tell a person to begin breeding as quickly as possible before getting himself killed (something Jiajing managed with considerable aplomb) and her version of subtlety is to begin assassinating nobles! A pity Jiajing has passed, he seemed useful for juggling the court factions if for little else. Youxue looks a good prospect but whether he proves one after suffering under the 'care' of Harry or the QM for the next thirteen years is another matter.

[loki100]

This is the most balanced you've had the three factions for a while, though the regency will put an end to that.

Are you sparing us any semi-official explanation for the emperor's death this time for fear it would be too implausible? (i.e. He fell in the giant vase and drowned as it happened to be full of peach liquor...)

yes, in a normal CK game, Jiajing would have been useless, but here he gave me more flexibility than I've had for a while, so i could juggle expansion, wars and building up the economy more or less at will

I think we can assume the official line was a bit like Pravda in the 1930s. Something like 'we are forced to announce the tragic death of Comrade Jiajing, he passed away peacefully while walking with the Queen Mother in the Palace peach-orchard"?

I do really rather love that the QM's version of tact is to tell a person to begin breeding as quickly as possible before getting himself killed (something Jiajing managed with considerable aplomb) and her version of subtlety is to begin assassinating nobles! A pity Jiajing has passed, he seemed useful for juggling the court factions if for little else. Youxue looks a good prospect but whether he proves one after suffering under the 'care' of Harry or the QM for the next thirteen years is another matter.

She is indeed tact personified, well in the next update she becomes a bit miffed at not getting her own way

[loki100]

4 January 1530



Came to Nanjing to arrange for Youxue's education. Very disappointed to find out that someone has been having ideas without consulting me.

I grabbed the chief Eunuch and reminded him that China's destiny is in the West.

[H – but you forgot when you grabbed him that he is a Eunuch ... its not the same effect]

20 June 1530



Its all going so wrong since the Eunuchs started getting ideas. Even the banknotes are destitute now. And the cost of peacock food has increased again.

30 July 1530



I am so annoyed, I have even given the chief Eunuch, Jiajing's old compass. They are so incompetent, I am going to withdraw from public life

[H – toodle pip ... you'll be back soon enough]

23 August 1530



It is so lucky for China that I am still so closely involved, even if they want to waste their time in the east, I will sacrifice myself ... anyway I need some new paintings the old ones are looking a bit tatty

15 December 1530



Sigh, I go back to the palace for the new year and what happens.

[H – version I heard was you went back to your palace because of what happened]

3 November 1531



Oh well, while I am here, I may as well expand China a bit

10 February 1532



And just who authorised this?

[H – seemed like a good idea while you off skulking in your palace]

I do not skulk, I withdraw gracefully when it is appropriate

[H – aye right, same way as you dance gracefully]

5 January 1534



harrumph, this is better, I suppose

3 June 1534



Right, thats it, if they won't let me bring up Youxue then I won't let them have their colonies

[H – ohh, you are getting the vengence bug, you really have spent too much time with Astarte]

19 December 1534



Hah, they should have listened to me. Sun Tzu did not mean it when he wrote "when you encounter the enemy turn around so he can see you have no fear". Well he did, but he was off his rocker on rice wine at the time.

[H – you don't say?]

21 December 1536



Given that we are stuck with the Eunuchs, this is the only thing that is rampant here at the moment ... I'm bored. I shall go on a cruise.

19 October 1537



Not that bored .., where is this?

25 February 1539



Ah thats better, the Eunuch's have given me another vase to replace my last egg holder that was accidently broken

25 December 1540



Sigh, apparently the vase belonged to somebody who felt it was being misused on my peacock farm. These people can be so touchy and so boring.

[Malurous]

Interesting developments with the new Idea. Definitely taking advantage of the Eunuch dominance, let's see how far it can get you in your colonization efforts.

[Stuyvesant]

I grabbed the chief Eunuch and reminded him that China's destiny is in the West.

[H – but you forgot when you grabbed him that he is a Eunuch ... its not the same effect]

...

And just who authorised this?

[H – seemed like a good idea while you off skulking in your palace]

I do not skulk, I withdraw gracefully when it is appropriate

[H – aye right, same way as you dance gracefully]

Really liked that first comment - it's unusual for Harry to have his wits about him that much. And that second exchange was lovely, too: the back-and-forth bickering really shows just how petty Harry and Queen Mum are. Not exactly the best advertisement for deities around the world, are they now?

[aldriq]

No interest in the other side of the Indian Ocean for now then?

[morningSIDEr]

[H – but you forgot when you grabbed him that he is a Eunuch ... its not the same effect]
[B]

That line is simply brilliant!

Good to see you are getting colonisation underway and have also polished off the Mongols via defecting provinces. Rather more worrying that stability continues to be an issue and the Eunuchs are so entrenched in power. Still, progress is being made.

[gabor]

Ah, colonisation. Enjoy it while it lasts. I gather with the heir taking the reins of the realm it will be the two other faction that will rise to power; so make the most of it now.
Btw is it me or what but somwhow I get the impression that with eunuchs in power China got, hm... hm... so pleasantly, hm... - how to put it - 'revibrated'?

[loki100]

Interesting developments with the new Idea. Definitely taking advantage of the Eunuch dominance, let's see how far it can get you in your colonization efforts.

I'd actually misread Youxue's stats and realised when he came to power that he favoured the Temple, but what I'm doing is trying to build a dominant arc of colonies across the Philipines & Eastern Indonesia to both snag some nice real estate and block in any Europeans who turn up

Really liked that first comment - it's unusual for Harry to have his wits about him that much. And that second exchange was lovely, too: the back-and-forth bickering really shows just how petty Harry and Queen Mum are. Not exactly the best advertisement for deities around the world, are they now?

She is particularly bonkers in the next post, I think Harry is in shock at an idea she comes up with fairly early on

No interest in the other side of the Indian Ocean for now then?

I'd like to, but I've got real constraints. If I take too many colonies in a single block, its an age before I can build them up, so ideally I like to take a batch, get them self-sustaining and hope I have the bureaucrats back so I can develop them. By the time I've finished with the Island arc east and south of China, various Europeans have gobbled up coastal Africa. More generally, one of my longer term goals is Chinese domination of the Pacific (so N America instead of Africa)

That line is simply brilliant!

Good to see you are getting colonisation underway and have also polished off the Mongols via defecting provinces. Rather more worrying that stability continues to be an issue and the Eunuchs are so entrenched in power. Still, progress is being made.

I've come to realise playing the Ming that due to the factions you do get longer periods of not doing much (or of just doing the one thing) than you get in a normal game (its like a plague of regencies and unwanted PUs). My immediate goal is to get to the position where I can grab Northern India before any Europeans get ideas.

Ah, colonisation. Enjoy it while it lasts. I gather with the heir taking the reins of the realm it will be the two other faction that will rise to power; so make the most of it now.
Btw is it me or what but somwhow I get the impression that with eunuchs in power China got, hm... hm... so pleasantly, hm... - how to put it - 'revibrated'?

it was certainly a very fertile period if that is what you mean. But yes, I'd misread Youxue's stats, so I actually don't have much more chance to colonise for a while, but then I want to digest what I've taken in any case.

Apols for the delay. The next post has been ready for a while (ie the screenshots etc), but coming up with any text has been a real struggle. Decided in the end to post what I've got. Its one of those fairly boring periods, a few faction changes (to no great value), a few stability hits, sort of preparing & building, so ...

[loki100]

24 August 1541

Paintings ... why are these Eunuchs so obsessed with paintings?



Oh well, helps decorate the peacock hutch

11 January 1542

See they shouldn't spend so long playing with their paint brushes ... Its not as if the pictures are that good?



[H – what on earth are you on about?]

26 March 1542



ohh, a new fashionable item of clothing is discovered, just the thing to wear to my next party [1]

[H – I'll be out the country, or washing my hair, or something]

7 August 1542



Happy dance time, must have a party ... I've been planning a special bikini and peacock themed night for a while. And it is just in time to celebrate Youxue coming to power properly, ...



oh and he already has a 6 year old son ... what a quick mover



Well they all came to the party ... but spent the whole evening talking about boring politics when I was resplendent in my new bikini



2 October 1543



Well it could be worse, at least this bunch know how to erect buildings


10 December 1543



Youxue is as bad as the rest. That particular peacock hutch had real sentimental meaning to me

27 April 1544



Oh well, at least a new architect designed hutch may be some compensation

9 October 1544



Sigh, a small price to pay, they may be boring but if I grab one of them hard enough they do realise which way is west

29 December 1544



Came to Nanjing via Vietnam, decided to test out my new skimpy bikini.

[H – and what a surprise, everyone ran away?]

No ... they were so impressed they followed me

19 September 1545



oh well, more Bureaucrats is a small price for being so widely worshipped

[H – or so gullible and easily led?]

31 December 1546



I am shocked, shocked, someone has been running a corrupt peacock racing syndicate

6 August 1547



Oh well at least they are unlikely to find out what I was putting into the dye

[H – unless someone tells them?]

5 January 1548



Oh they found out?

[H – yes that peach stones were being used as their buttons was a bit of a clue]

15 October 1548



Sigh why is nothing ever easy. I just got excited when I overheard some bureaucrats discussing moving to the 'west'. I mean yes, maybe dancing around the Forbidden City in my bikini was a mistake, but people do so overact to the slightest little problem.

Anyway, it is agreed, they will indeed be moving 'west' as soon as possible.

[H - uh, my brain hurts ... oh right she's confused westernising with moving west ... ah well this is not going to end well]

[1] - it helps to know the old Gang of Four (no the ones from Leeds not China) song with the line - 'little did she know she was dressed for the H-bomb'. More generally playing EU3 to the sound of Gang of Four is to be highly recommended.

[Stuyvesant]

Well, reading about Queen Mother's experiments with immodest swimwear made eating my lunch at the same time a bit of an adventurous undertaking. My imagination was far too vivid on this one...

How defensible is the colonial empire you're building? Or is that not an issue at this point?

[aldriq]

You may laugh at her swimwear, but if you think the QM doesn't have the power to send her army of peacocks across time and space to haunt you, you'd be wrong – watch your backyard...

[morningSIDEr]

Well it could be worse, at least this bunch know how to erect buildings

How very true! Eunuch seem to have little experience in erecting anything.

The mind boggles at the thought of the QM in a bikini, little surprise her dancing in one causes stability to drop! Good that everything is now primed for westernisation though. Hopefully you get a neighbouring European nation soon. Although dealing with the stability drops following westernisation is sure to prove a challenge if the QM's bikini is not hidden away!

[Malurous]

Well done getting everything in order for westernization. But here's hoping it isn't northern India where you find a European border...

You may laugh at her swimwear, but if you think the QM doesn't have the power to send her army of peacocks across time and space to haunt you, you'd be wrong – watch your backyard...

That's just awesome, considering this AAR.

[loki100]

You may laugh at her swimwear, but if you think the QM doesn't have the power to send her army of peacocks across time and space to haunt you, you'd be wrong – watch your backyard...

stupendous find.

I worked at Lancaster University in the 1990s and it had peacocks (& a strange fantasy that it was akin to a Tuscan Hill Village), and over time they 'accidently' died off till one was left. Now what is rarely reported is that peacocks are sex mad, and a sole male gets very aggressive when it can't satisfy its urges. One day we had a very posh visitor to the VC with a very well groomed car. Peacock saw its reflection and was so lust filled/angry it lept on the bonnet to have its way with its rival. They have very powerful claws and the car had £,000s of damage.

After that, mysteriously the last peacock disappeared too

[aldriq]

After that, mysteriously the last peacock disappeared too

So you are implying that the visitor and the VC organised a plot to see the peacock dead?!

Well, I don't know how far Gargunnock is from your patch but if I were you I'd send your spymaster around in case those peacocks still have a bad opinion of you.... Oh, no, I'm mixing up AARs!