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Thread: The Queen Mother's Diaries: A Ming AAR

  1. #141
    Lost in Time Ashantai's Avatar
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    Peacocks in her bed?! Disturbing.
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  2. #142
    Already over the critical threshold where you can steamroll the rest of the world? or is your tech so lacking the western powers still got a chance?

  3. #143
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    Impressively quickly produced and also well named. The last Yongle did rather well from what I remember, despite having all the ability of a piece of wet carrot. Cracking stuff as ever, especially with regards to Tianqi, who looks a surprisingly capable ruler, and his scissor mishaps. I'll never handle a pair of scissors quite so casually ever again!
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  4. #144
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    Tianqi must be the first ruler brave (stupid) enough to pick a direct fight with the Queen Mother. The peacock's head isn't exactly a subtle hint... Then again, with QM's ability for blithering ignorance, maybe the peacock will have to be decapitated before her very eyes before the message truly connects.

    That boy Tianqi sure is handy with those scissors...First the eunuchs, now that peacock... I didn't know you could behead a bird of that size with a mere pair of clippers.
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  5. #145
    Field Marshal loki100's Avatar
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    I'll try to do both an update and normal feedback tomorrow. But ... just to remind any readers/lurkers/commentators to wander over and vote in the ACA awards - they close at the end of the month. Its a great way to force yourself to read more widely around AARland and to support all the various writers who produce these things. Link is in my signature, so please make an effort to cast some votes - any AAR that was active at any time in 2011 is eligible.

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  6. #146
    Part Time Warp aldriq's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stuyvesant View Post
    That boy Tianqi sure is handy with those scissors...First the eunuchs, now that peacock... I didn't know you could behead a bird of that size with a mere pair of clippers.
    He could be the Dexter of imperial China, emperor by day, peacock killer by night – though he might meet his match in the QM...
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  7. #147
    Field Marshal loki100's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ashantai View Post
    Peacocks in her bed?! Disturbing.
    Ah its only the one ... & it was headless

    Quote Originally Posted by Surt View Post
    Already over the critical threshold where you can steamroll the rest of the world? or is your tech so lacking the western powers still got a chance?
    Not really, at the moment I've played into the 1660s and have reached the stage where I can bore a European agressor into a white peace or small concession of defeat to get them off my back. I'm in a sort of halfway stage where I've the best (& biggest) army in the region but way behind the Europeans (despite a couple of bouts of Westernisation), but in a war with most of them its very hard to actually harm each other.

    I think the effect of DW 5.1 is that even human played China expands slowly (as in the next post, its hard to take land off the nomads) & even if you take a casual view of infamy, you still quite often are dependent on being dragged into someone else's wars. On the other hand, China is very hard to defeat. So I think the balance is pretty good.

    Quote Originally Posted by morningSIDEr View Post
    Impressively quickly produced and also well named. The last Yongle did rather well from what I remember, despite having all the ability of a piece of wet carrot. Cracking stuff as ever, especially with regards to Tianqi, who looks a surprisingly capable ruler, and his scissor mishaps. I'll never handle a pair of scissors quite so casually ever again!
    Tianqi is actually a bit of a nutter ... as is indicated in the next post

    Quote Originally Posted by Stuyvesant View Post
    Tianqi must be the first ruler brave (stupid) enough to pick a direct fight with the Queen Mother. The peacock's head isn't exactly a subtle hint... Then again, with QM's ability for blithering ignorance, maybe the peacock will have to be decapitated before her very eyes before the message truly connects.

    That boy Tianqi sure is handy with those scissors...First the eunuchs, now that peacock... I didn't know you could behead a bird of that size with a mere pair of clippers.
    well it does depend on how big is your scissors I'd guess? But yes, she's not going to take subtle hints, or for that matter direct hints, or, mostly, not even direct insults as a clue to change her behaviour

    Quote Originally Posted by aldriq View Post
    He could be the Dexter of imperial China, emperor by day, peacock killer by night – though he might meet his match in the QM...
    Well 4 years into his reign and she's pretty cautious about annoying him ... he manages quite a rampage with a wide variety of targets ...



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  8. #148
    Field Marshal loki100's Avatar
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    1474-1479, Tianqi has a tantrum (or 3 or 4)

    5 December 1474



    I am already disappointed with Tianqi, I mean ok, massacre a few barbarians if he feels the urge, but why off east ... I mean what is there that isn't here ... or the other way around?

    (H you really are getting a bit senile?)

    9 April 1475



    And I don't know who brought him up to cheat like this?

    (H that's my boy)

    And ... another thing, he really should be more careful with those scissors

    1 June 1475



    I need a holiday now. All it really took was one good party and the Eunuch's failed to perform, now China will move west and I will be a permanent part of the Court

    (H oh well, time I'd better get involved)


    1 July 1475



    These people have no staying power, a few late nights and they just can't stand the pace.

    29 July 1475



    Ohhhh, I like Eunuchs, I have sent Tianqi some new even bigger scissors. Ok this is a bit to the south, but China is on its way towards me.

    Have a special dance night planned.

    (H and the noise left an entire generation deaf)


    21 December 1475


    The dance night was such a success ... people now want to worship me

    (H I think they are begging you not to do it again ... your rendition of Swan Lake with peacocks was ... and I say this as a bit of an expert ... seriously disturbing)



    27 February 1478

    Tianqi is my hero, I will be freed from my bondage soon



    (H lost the key again?)

    7 June 1476



    I am glad that Tianqi is at some distance ... he is rather violent I blame his upbringing ... or his parents ... yes I blame his parents

    (H oi, till he was sent to stay with you the lad was well adjusted ... bit violent but yeah, well adjusted)


    2 August 1476




    Oh, another extension to my modest beach hut

    22 October 1476




    Well I warned him ... I can only blame his parents I didn't bring him up to do this sort of thing

    23 December 1477




    The boy is quite out of control, I am leaving Court and going back to my Palace. I blame the parents.

    23 October 1478




    Tianqi is so rude, ok its taken me a year to actually leave but he could have turned up to wish me a safe trip ... such a lack of respect

    (H ho hum ... )

    2 February 1479



    Back safely in the palace. Decided to celebrate with a party ... it may have got a little out of hand ... no ... no thats not right. ... ah, yes, I blame Tianqi --- thats much better

    4 July 1479




    He is such a disgrace to the dynasty, I can't believe I brought him up, in fact I'm sure I didn't bring him up

    8 December 1479



    I know he's in the region but does he visit me ... no he doesn't. Youth today, just no sense of duty.

    (H not bad, she is getting the hang of the diary writing, if she'd just stop dancing this would be a complete success)
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  9. #149
    General morningSIDEr's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by loki100 View Post
    I need a holiday now. All it really took was one good party and the Eunuch's failed to perform...
    Cracking line.

    Thus the QM is wearing out all of the factions whilst having found the perfect excuse for all of her slight misdemeanours, Tianqi ever to blame (in fairness, he truly does seem to be to blame rather often)! I just hope Tianqi ends the war with the Oirat Horde soon, Ming is getting far too close to the QM's lands.
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  10. #150
    Field Marshal Stuyvesant's Avatar
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    It raises the interesting (troubling) question: what would actually happen if China discovers/incorporates the Queen Mother's home turf? A sudden collapse of reality? Or, more plainly, simply more of the bewildering and bewildered bemoaning we've come to know and love (well, okay, perhaps 'love' is not the right word. How about 'expect'?) from her.

    I love the constant blaming of Tianqi - and it's even somewhat plausible, which is a bit of a shocker in and of itself. However, seeing how the Queen Mother's opinion of the lad is so low, I am puzzled by the following diary entry:

    Ohhhh, I like Eunuchs, I have sent Tianqi some new even bigger scissors. Ok this is a bit to the south, but China is on its way towards me.
    We'll just blame it on one of her customary lapses of judgment?
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  11. #151
    Lost in Time Ashantai's Avatar
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    Love the update...but Tianqi is out of control. That poor retainer has been flogged mightily!
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  12. #152
    Field Marshal loki100's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by morningSIDEr View Post
    Cracking line.

    Thus the QM is wearing out all of the factions whilst having found the perfect excuse for all of her slight misdemeanours, Tianqi ever to blame (in fairness, he truly does seem to be to blame rather often)! I just hope Tianqi ends the war with the Oirat Horde soon, Ming is getting far too close to the QM's lands.
    At this stage, I need to reduce my involvement with the nomads as I want to redeploy as much of the army as I can to deal with the real enemy - India. So I need to take a fair few of their provinces, even if the last thing I need is more low value grain producing provinces.

    Quote Originally Posted by Stuyvesant View Post
    It raises the interesting (troubling) question: what would actually happen if China discovers/incorporates the Queen Mother's home turf? A sudden collapse of reality? Or, more plainly, simply more of the bewildering and bewildered bemoaning we've come to know and love (well, okay, perhaps 'love' is not the right word. How about 'expect'?) from her.

    I love the constant blaming of Tianqi - and it's even somewhat plausible, which is a bit of a shocker in and of itself. However, seeing how the Queen Mother's opinion of the lad is so low, I am puzzled by the following diary entry:

    We'll just blame it on one of her customary lapses of judgment?
    I'm not sure she actually ever has the standard of judgement from which one can lapse? However, her temporary awareness that only Eunuchs can lead to her return to China has given her a new perspective on their merits.

    I've actually dumped her palace in one of the inacessible provinces, so despite her hopes, she can't (at least till V2) become part of China.

    Quote Originally Posted by Ashantai View Post
    Love the update...but Tianqi is out of control. That poor retainer has been flogged mightily!
    I was so tempted to the 'flogging a dead horse' line, but there is more disciplinary themes in the next post too
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  13. #153
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    1480-1485, Tianqi's reign is enlivened by Harry

    2 January 1480



    Discipline, I do approve of discipline ...

    7 June 1481



    It had to happen, Tianqi has annoyed the neighbours again. I know it was nothing to do with my last party, that was so sedate.

    8 October 1481

    Tianqi can be so nice sometimes, he gave me a choice of provinces for my new holiday home. Maybe some of my refined upbringing has rubbed off on him?



    18 December 1481



    oh whoops time to make myself scarce, now I did warn him not to play with the peacocks, but then I forgot to mention that was a specially trained killer peacock and it really did not like the sight of those large scrissorss

    8 January 1482




    It seems as if I've got away with it. That new heir was produced so quickly I'm not sure that anyone spotted that Yongle was missing.

    [H of course not, I mean he was what 5 or 6, this one is new born, no one is going to spot the difference?]

    29 October 1482



    Time to make myself scarce again. Seems the peakraken has escaped and scared all his admirals not that he needs that many in any case?

    30 December 1482



    Nasty brutish boy, and all that as revenge for me scaring his admirals, I mean ... that Temple had such memories of the time I ... no I must be strong

    (H almost, she almost made this readable, sigh, it needs livening up)


    30 April 1484




    oh, what a surprise

    (H not to me it wasn't)


    17 July 1484



    But I'm sure that when he passed by recently, Tianqi told me he was allied with Shan. The boy really is losing his grip on reality

    (H still got the old mojo when I need it)

    19 July 1484



    Well yes, as I pointed out to Tianqi, practice makes perfect and you've had enough practice by now. For some reason he chucked me out the court and I'm banned again.

    23 August 1484




    Oh, I'm confused, weren't they the ones Tianqi was at war with before. He really needs my firm guidance, this is going to end badly

    (H yeah ok, maybe I've been a bit enthusiastic but you've got to admit a few wars does wonder for the sales)


    29 October 1484




    Tianqi could never manage his pocket money

    (H is this good or bad for sales?)

    18 June 1485




    Oh, it seems that the seal has escaped to play with the seakraken. Fortunately one of the Bureaucrats caught it before it reached the sea.

    (H just what are you breeding over there?)


    and, an ominous foreshadowing of events in the next post

    [A (for it is her) just what have you pair of losers been getting up to while my back was turned?]
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  14. #154
    Field Marshal Malurous's Avatar
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    Trying to hunt a killer peacock with scissors? That has to be the best narrative ever for that infamous event!
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  15. #155
    General morningSIDEr's Avatar
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    News of a promising war due to the numerous gurantees you've been making sounds very intriguing. Far less intriguing than Astarte making an appearance though! I felt rather sorry when reading of Yongle's passing considering the surprising success of the last Yongle, this despite the best efforts of everyone to quickly do away with him, I was rather looking forward to another ruler of the same name. Oh well, Youyi looks suitably mediocre.
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  16. #156
    Lost in Time Ashantai's Avatar
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    Agreed! And the peakraken returns!

    I can just imagine Clash of the Titans when Zeus says "Release the Peakraken!"
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  17. #157
    Part Time Warp aldriq's Avatar
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    Swan Lake with peacocks? Did she play the white or the black peacock/swan? And who is A?
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  18. #158
    Quote Originally Posted by aldriq View Post
    Swan Lake with peacocks? Did she play the white or the black peacock/swan? And who is A?
    Somehow I think that should either have been Pea Lake or Cock Lake, which both sounds equally inappropriate... I doubt the Queen Mother would give a peach about it anyway.

  19. #159
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    Apparently, throwing guarantees here and there can backfire.
    Isn't war exhaustion a problem?

    Tianqi proves as volatile as... hm... hm... like (Queen) Mother, like son?

  20. #160
    Field Marshal Stuyvesant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by aldriq View Post
    Swan Lake with peacocks? Did she play the white or the black peacock/swan? And who is A?
    'A' refers to Astarte - Harry's Nemesis from several other AARs - just as evil, but generally a lot more capable than good ol' Harry (to even things out, Harry lucks out just enough to keep him in contention).

    The killer peacock starts reminding me more and more of the xenomorph from Alien. Not a happy fella to have running around your backyard - and not exactly something to tackle with the scissors, no matter how oversized/killer they are.
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