The Queen Mother's Diaries: A Ming AAR

[Malurous]

Somehow I can't help but think of the Bureaucrat Faction as chock full of Sir Humphrey-types, which is probably not the case given this is fifteenth century China.

Hmm, maybe westernization consists of getting those types as immigrants to revamp the faction?

[Alfredian]

Steady progress.

The Philippines will be relived that your bureaucrats do not like colonising things.

*********

Somehow I can't help but think of the Bureaucrat Faction as chock full of Sir Humphrey-types

Sir Humphrey the Whitehall Mandarin. Fancy that.

************

I am not convinced by Paradox's views on tea - "Never considered as noble a drink as coffee". Outrageous statement. They have obviously never had to try the coffee at our my work's Finance Division.

[morningSIDEr]

(H – a painting ... oh God give me strength)

Considering the person, or rather being, uttering these words - that is brilliant!

Like Harry I'm rather intrigued by the 'Decadence' event which did for the last Emperor. Clearly peacocks and peaches is a winning combo for any party though! Jianwen seems a tricky fellow, I can see why Harry brought him in. Some good steady progress then despite bickering bureaucrats, I just hope Yongle's reign proves rather better than his stats seem to be promising.

Oh and thanks for explaining the court faction stuff!

[Stuyvesant]

The back-and-forth between Harry and Jianwen was highly entertaining. It does have a tendency to make the Queen Mother sound even more like a shrill mother-in-law... I certainly sympathize with Jianwen.

[safferli]

Very nice! I was thinking about a Ming game next, and me (like you) being a fan of knul and his Ying, Yang, and Ugly AAR, I'll follow this closely.

I love the editor's notes, very funny!

[loki100]

Somehow I can't help but think of the Bureaucrat Faction as chock full of Sir Humphrey-types, which is probably not the case given this is fifteenth century China.

Does Harry naturally have the custody of former emperors, or is this some exchange programme he's got worked out with the Jade Emperor (or whoever's actually running the show)?

I can only imagine this lot of bureaucrats would regard Sir Humph as being a wee bit too proactive ... all they will agree to do is to build things

Harry is a problem - for me at least. I planned he'd appear in the first post and till any Europeans arrive would never be heard of again. He's already inserted himself into all the updates and is running an after-life rest club for ex-Emperors.

Hmm, maybe westernization consists of getting those types as immigrants to revamp the faction?

Put like that it does rather make westernization a bit less attractive than the usual EU-strategy would indicate.

Steady progress.

The Philippines will be relived that your bureaucrats do not like colonising things.

*********

Sir Humphrey the Whitehall Mandarin. Fancy that.

************

I am not convinced by Paradox's views on tea - "Never considered as noble a drink as coffee". Outrageous statement. They have obviously never had to try the coffee at our my work's Finance Division.

Yes, I need someone else to do my colonising for me, then I can take over there colonies. On the mainland the Manchus are my best mates for that, but I'm not sure who is going to help out otherwise. Though its a bit unintuitive, I think I'll need to spend slider moves going naval to give the Eunuchs a boost (or some ginger tea - thats meant to be good for the libido?), so I can have some bouts of colonising.

I was watching a couple of episodes on Yes PM on a long flight (am in Australia at the moment), sheer comedy genius with not a word out of place.

and yes, I've had some foul work-based coffees that do call into account Paradox's optimism. These things must be so much better in Sweden.

Considering the person, or rather being, uttering these words - that is brilliant!

Like Harry I'm rather intrigued by the 'Decadence' event which did for the last Emperor. Clearly peacocks and peaches is a winning combo for any party though! Jianwen seems a tricky fellow, I can see why Harry brought him in. Some good steady progress then despite bickering bureaucrats, I just hope Yongle's reign proves rather better than his stats seem to be promising.

Oh and thanks for explaining the court faction stuff!

Yongle is surprisingly effective, he's the first ruler-general I've ever made who doesn't die on the spot. Harry asking for divine help did seem rather (in)appropriate.

unfortunately the decadence event doesn't supply full details - a real oversight.

The back-and-forth between Harry and Jianwen was highly entertaining. It does have a tendency to make the Queen Mother sound even more like a shrill mother-in-law... I certainly sympathize with Jianwen.

As above, I fear Harry is not going to retire into the background but is going to be a more regular feature than I planned. The QM perks up in the next episode with a bit of fake Feng Shui.

Very nice! I was thinking about a Ming game next, and me (like you) being a fan of knul and his Ying, Yang, and Ugly AAR, I'll follow this closely.

I love the editor's notes, very funny!

Glad its to your tastes. So far, Ming is fun, but you have to be utterly opportunistic about expansion as most time you can't get into a war unless someone attacks you (very unlikely early game) or attacks one of your allies.

The next update is written, and I'll post as soon as I can. I'm actually in Australia at the moment, but having to work (poor planning and a major cash flow crisis), so will be on/off line every now and then ...

[Stuyvesant]

Enjoy your mixed-use trip to Australia! I look forward to more updates, but must concede the point that cash flow crises might demand their share of attention...

[morningSIDEr]

The next update is written, and I'll post as soon as I can. I'm actually in Australia at the moment, but having to work (poor planning and a major cash flow crisis), so will be on/off line every now and then ...

If you expect any sympathy from me, as I stare out at the grey skies of Edinburgh which promise rain shortly, because you are having to work whilst in Australia you are quite mistaken! Okay, I have a bit of sympathy. A very small bit.

Jokes aside, I hope you are enjoying the trip regardless of your work, greatly looking forward to updates resuming when you get the chance.

[loki100]

24 October 1404

Yes, at last, an Emperor with a sense of direction even if he has the intelligence of a particularly inert panda.



(H – yeah, war, quick let me find one of the horses ... places to go ... mayhem to create)

3 January 1405

Well the New Year party was as boring as ever, but bumped into this on the way home ... never knew that Mongols ran away when you hurl peaches at them.



(H – peaches? She's throwing peaches at people? ... yeah I can understand them running away)

13 July 1405

Spend day on the roof, surely Yongle will be here soon



24 July 1405

More good news, visited roof several times to check if Yongle has arrived yet. I'm sure I'll be back in China soon – or China will be back with me. I am impressed with Yongle, he maybe less intelligent than a jellyfish but he's the man for me.



3 August 1405

& ... was that it? I think I need to check as to what advice the boy is receiving



(H – just what on earth did she expect?)

17 August 1405

Went to bed early ... too depressed for some 'roof-time' Looked at the latest court circular, maybe I will be saved one day ....



9 September 1405

Spent day on roof waiting for Yongle to arrive. Seems his advisers have convinced him he is some sort of military genius.



(H – well call me a cynical old devil if you must but I suspect they simply want him dead)

9 September 1405

Busy day for some.



Well he maybe a military genius but he has the memory of a very slow panda, I mean where is my invite?

9 September 1405

Woken late at night by arrival of another painting – would have preferred the invite, its almost as if they think I'd lower the tone at the wedding?



(H – she's doing this to wind me up isn't she?)

23 December 1405

Kicked a peacock ... I tell you this new year there will be trouble



(H – promises, promises)

24 December 1405

Very impressive, not, I will have words over new year, I mean what does that region have that I don't? You ever seen a decent peach tree in Burma?



5 January 1406

Spent day looking for a peacock to kick – they are all in hiding AND the roof is covered in snow. I think I made my point to Yongle, just need to build an extension for the new art collection.



On reflection ... I don't like this painting ... its just not me.

(H – just not her? It doesn't show a grumpy peacock botherer who chucks peaches at passing Mongols and then complains no one comes to visit?)

29 January 1406

Decided that the painting really did not compensate for failing to conquer the Oirats.

I am now banned from the Court, but it was fun – these humans are sooo gullible, now lets see what else I can manage?



(H – I do wish she'd provide more details but this is starting to improve)

18 May 1407

Exhausted after that, now Yongle has no excuses, at all, I expect to be in China in days. I've tried the Eunuchs (ugh) and the Bureaucrats (boring), this bunch look like my sort of sociopath.



(H – yeah, war, mayhem, things are looking up)

[Avindian]

Very nicely done as always; I particularly liked the peach pelting scene!

[Dewirix]

Wow, the Temple faction has... interesting policies. Am I right in thinking that every regiment you lose (assuming you're unlucky enough, that is) you'll be unable to rebuild until you're back under the force limit.

It's almost as if someone was trying to punish the Emperor.

[Stuyvesant]

Yongle is quite the Manly Man, isn't he? Slaying foes left and right, imposing, erm, modest tribute on the barbarians... Studiously avoiding the Queen Mother... I fear the analogy is falling apart rather quicker than I had hoped for.

Harry's description of the Queen Mother as a 'grumpy peacock botherer who chucks peaches at passing Mongols' is a particular highlight.

[Malurous]

Gotta agree with Stuyvesant, the "then complains no one comes to visit" stuff cracked me up.

So, actual war, eh?

[morningSIDEr]

... never knew that Mongols ran away when you hurl peaches at them.

Nevermind the Mongols, throw any kind of fruit and Scots will flee in terror from it!

Yongle is proving surprisingly effective as you said, despite seeming attempts to end his reign rather quickly. He's happily roughing up barbarians, carrying out useful diplomacy and all whilst seemingly as intelligent as a piece of soggy carrot. Great stuff. I'm rather with Harry regarding the 'Bad Feng Shui' event; very intriguing, I rather wish to know more but I am quite sure I'd regret finding out what went on. Oh and 'grumpy peacock botherer' is fantastic!

[aldriq]

This AAR seems a great place to learn the ways of DW. A bit disappointing, though, that the QM doesn't have any divine powers beyond peacock-kicking and peach-hurling – or does she? Maybe she's reserving the big guns for when a good opportunity arises...

[loki100]

Very nicely done as always; I particularly liked the peach pelting scene!

she graduated to using deep fried peaches as cannonballs in the next update ... very effective too

Wow, the Temple faction has... interesting policies. Am I right in thinking that every regiment you lose (assuming you're unlucky enough, that is) you'll be unable to rebuild until you're back under the force limit.

It's almost as if someone was trying to punish the Emperor.

yep, the one faction that in theory allows you to go on the rampage, lowers your army size so you can't replace lost regiments and have to pay a huge bill for being over your force limits

Yongle is quite the Manly Man, isn't he? Slaying foes left and right, imposing, erm, modest tribute on the barbarians... Studiously avoiding the Queen Mother... I fear the analogy is falling apart rather quicker than I had hoped for.

Harry's description of the Queen Mother as a 'grumpy peacock botherer who chucks peaches at passing Mongols' is a particular highlight.

well he's so useless, he doesn't even get invited to his own wedding in the next update ...

Gotta agree with Stuyvesant, the "then complains no one comes to visit" stuff cracked me up.

So, actual war, eh?

yep ... two actually (my only 2 CBs & one of those I had to manufacture), she does seem to take a shine to some passing Kazakhs (must have been getting mellow and lonely)

Nevermind the Mongols, throw any kind of fruit and Scots will flee in terror from it!

Yongle is proving surprisingly effective as you said, despite seeming attempts to end his reign rather quickly. He's happily roughing up barbarians, carrying out useful diplomacy and all whilst seemingly as intelligent as a piece of soggy carrot. Great stuff. I'm rather with Harry regarding the 'Bad Feng Shui' event; very intriguing, I rather wish to know more but I am quite sure I'd regret finding out what went on. Oh and 'grumpy peacock botherer' is fantastic!

aye, for an Emperor I'm trying to kill off (his stats really favour the bureaucrats who need no help), he is surprisingly tenacious

This AAR seems a great place to learn the ways of DW. A bit disappointing, though, that the QM doesn't have any divine powers beyond peacock-kicking and peach-hurling – or does she? Maybe she's reserving the big guns for when a good opportunity arises...

Umhhh ... may fail in that respect, I'm learning, rereading Knul's AAR and Gela's as I go. But my hope is that Ming is too big to fail?

[loki100]

Such a busy summer no time to write

(H – given the size of your advance, you'd better manage it, you owe me already)

19 May 1407



I was hoping for more from my new friends. They too seem obsessed with the sea rather than coming to visit me. I mean it can't be anything I've said can it?

(H – ahem ... I'll tell her later)

2 July 1407



I love my new friends. A wedding invite has arrived. I like these family get togethers, every one sat around making polite conversation.

(H – right this time I want details, lots of details)

2 August 1407



Ohh, more visitors, maybe they want to come the wedding as well? ... wonder if they like peaches?

(H – she's not being serious ... is she? Maybe? No, surely not?)

1 October 1407



oh well, I have been banned again, but first they have to catch me ...

28 October 1407



well that was fun, smashed plates, broken furniture and my peacock scratched several Manchus. This is my sort of wedding and I am staying

(H – go girl, you tell them. That scratch does look rather nasty though ... yuck)

2 December 1407

Good and bad news, Yongle has beaten the Kazakhs, obviously the war with the Manchus is too easy for a warrior of his skills. Bit strange though that he isn't actually at the wedding party.



and those bureaucrats are back meddling in the South, do they not teach them anything at school? I mean everyone knows I'm in the west



(H – one of these days the penny will drop?)

16 March 1408



That was fun, apparently deep fried peaches are heavy enough to sink a ship.

8 September 1408



This may be bad news? The wedding party has been reduced, ah well all the more fun for me ...

9 September 1408



Boo, the wedding has been called off and the boring bureaucrats have settled for land instead (& land in the wrong direction too)

I hate bureaucrats

(H – me too, me too, sigh)

2 December 1408



I still hate bureaucrats ... unless they build lots of temples to worship me in?

(H – oi, you're not the only diety who wants to be worshipped you know, I mean a nice clean temple is so much better than some of the places I get called to ... gross, yuck, and as to the things they are doing ... you really do not want to know)



oh great ... and more pictures to decorate the palace with.

15 December 1408



and why do they bother to tell me this, I mean east ... just what does the east have that the west doesn't?

(H – if you really need a clue, ask yourself, just where do I live?)

1 July 1409



At least this should improve the quality of the paintings they keep on sending me?

25 December 1409



Now who should I send cards to this year?

[Dewirix]

That was fun, apparently deep fried peaches are heavy enough to sink a ship.

Is that fired from a cannon, or dropped by steep-diving peacocks. I'm hoping the latter.

Kazakh's kinda sorta in the right direction for the Queen Mother, isn't it? At least Yongle's not off to subdue the Inca.

[Ashantai]

This is extremely funny as always! Congrats, I love it!

[aldriq]

The factions seem to change rather frequently, I can imagine a normal player in need of psychological counselling after a full game... luckily the QM likes the mayhem.