Ireland's Teardrop

[safferli]

CivandEUIII

Oh, but that's a corollary of the laws "The Universe Is Out To Get You", and "Statistical Independence Is A Lie"!

hoi2geek

Welcome! While it's certainly a valid goal and interesting in and of itself (not to mention damn those bloody Spaniards ), for this AAR we will colonise the north American continent first

Malurous

It is a fantastic series. And Private Plane is probably my favourite episode of all of the series.

Kerry

Well put! "Election" day is a night of drunken fisticuffs and general swearing and backstabbing! But Ireland doesn't want the potato! That'll only lead to famines!

[safferli]

Chapter 13: Repealing the Irish Alliance Doctrine


Only two years after having been elected as high king, Mathghamhain died while accidentally brushing his teeth with a halberd.

Aerdghal Butler, the king's former halberd-polisher, is elected as second high king of Ireland.

His attention to detail and administrative genius will be a boon for Ireland. His first order of office is to commission a tapestry map of Europe. France is defeated, its provinces taken over in large parts by Brittany and Burgundy.

Castillian diplomats bring us good news: the war against the Ashanti is won. All thanks to the Irish Alliance Doctrine.

Aerdghal's first administrative tasks is to repay the loans incurred from the war against England. Once these are paid off, Ireland can again focus on the outside world.

More Castillian diplomats bring more maps, and more places we have never heard of.

This time it's against a country called Kongo. Castillian diplomats helpfully write "KONGO" onto an otherwise empty parchment. "This is where you will need to send your troops to help us in our war", they say. "Of course we will", the king answers. And then does exactly nothing.

Aerdghal Butler also has the chance to support a new philosophy and art: the Renaissance. Ireland is still starved for philosophers after the transition to a republic killing all native philosophers in its wake. New artists and free men are encouraged to work in Ireland.

In 1471, king Louis-Joseph I of Burgundy is elected Holy Roman Emperor. A political maneouvre that will help us immensely in later years.

A merchant bequeaths the state a handsome amount of money. Money that will be dearly needed...

...because Northumberland, our ally, is calling, nay crying for help: The English have attacked! For once, the Irish Alliance Doctrine reaches its limits: Northumberland is a country we actually care about to survive, and is arquebus fodder if we can't help them.

Irish troops board ships and for the first time in history, the Irish Alliance Doctrine is not followed. How will these troops fare? Can Ireland protect Northumberland against the English hordes? See for yourself, next time on Ireland's Teardrop!

[hoi2geek]

Where in the North American continent will you colonize(preferably a stretch from Labrador to South Carolina)?

Also, I suggest that to beat the Spanish to the Philippines, you must start with that first, before going to North America. It looks like the Spaniards are inching closer and closer to the Philippines (by sailing through Africa), so we need to go the other direction to surprise them.

[Arakhor]

It's a shame that noble republics don't give their rulers regnal initials. It doesn't seem very noble to me.

[loki100]

hints of the terrible end of so many Crovans with the demise of Mathghamhain there. Ireland repaying its debts and taking a call to arms seriously ... my, things are a changing these days.

[Malurous]

What?!? No Irish Alliance Doctrine? What is this world coming to...

Castillian diplomats helpfully write "KONGO" onto an otherwise empty parchment. "This is where you will need to send your troops to help us in our war", they say.

This is exactly the kind of situation where the "rofl" smiley is dearly missed.

Malurous

It is a fantastic series. And Private Plane is probably my favourite episode of all of the series.

I realize this might tell too much about me as a person, but Lord Flashheart is one of my favorite fictional characters, like, anywhere.

[GulMacet]

The Butler did it. Ha! Just realized that.

[CivandEUIII]

The Butler did it. Ha! Just realized that.

Butler in the Throne Room with the Halberd

[Avindian]

That Renaissance decision is pretty slick; is that new to this most recent beta of DW? It's been a while since I've started a game from scratch.

[safferli]

hoi2geek

We will colonise all of north America, of course!

Arakhor

True, that. Mathghamhain still had his regnal number from the time he was king, but the new king Aerdgard doesn't have it any more

loki100

Alfred Packer's Crovan AARs and (again) Blackadder were my inspiration for all Irish king's demises. Plus, Ireland in the middle ages was a country constantly fighting -- if not against others, then at least against themselves!

Malurous

Oh, don't you worry about your choice in fictional characters! In fact, The squadron commander lord Flashheart is one of my favourite characters of all time as well. Woof, woof!

GulMacet, CivandEUIII

Indeed, the Butler did it. The name was an added bonus!

Avindian

To be honest, I don't know. The decision has been in since DW I believe.

[Kerry]

Puh, ignorants!
The Butlers were the Earls, later Dukes, of Ormond, and, funnily enough, hereditary High Butlers of Ireland. Halberd polisher...
If memory serves right they at some stage acquired the right to the custom fees for all wine imports to Ireland.

[CivandEUIII]

Puh, ignorants!
The Butlers were the Earls, later Dukes, of Ormond, and, funnily enough, hereditary High Butlers of Ireland. Halberd polisher...
If memory serves right they at some stage acquired the right to the custom fees for all wine imports to Ireland.

unraveling the story of Butler's rise to power one step at a time

[Hastu Neon]

Ehm, the precise name should be Pico della Mirandola ...

[safferli]

Kerry

Ah, so they were hereditary butlers? Not much social mobility in Ireland, eh? And they must have been pretty tall, if they were called high butlers...

CivandEUIII

Indeed, fascinating stuff you learn from AARs!

Hastu Neon

Yep, this is a bug that has already been reported.

[safferli]

Chapter 14: Northumberland and Ireland united against a common enemy


With Irish troops now committed to the conflict, we naturally assume leadership over all peace negotiations. England will have to deal with us!

The English waste no time and invade Northumberland. Luckily, the Scots are already lending a helping Braveheart.

A new admiral is promoted and instructed to get our fleet ready for action.

We appoint out finest general (with a useless shock rating) to lead our expeditionary forces.

And then -- this! We're supposed to be the leaders here, how dare the Northumbrians make peace behind our back? We're busy shipping our troops, at least have the decency to wait until our help has arrived!

Our troops arrive too late, but intercept the English in Cumbria.

Somehow, the battle is decidedly not going in our favour... And now we can see why the Northumbrians were so eager to make peace -- the English king, Charles I, is a god on the battlefield! He's single-handedly mowing down our troops. Our cavalry flanks are already obliterated.

We order an immediate retreat into Scotland. Our navy is sent out into the Irish sea to be able to pick up the remains of our army. It had hidden in the ports form the Royal Navy, but now we need to take the risks of naval battle.

But Charles I is no fool, he immediately pursues our troops into Scotland to force a decisive battle. Oh dear, can we retreat before our troops are overrun? Charles I is relentless! We should have just sticked to our Irish Alliance Doctrine...

We lose the battle, and a few remaining men manage to flee the battlefield.

We manage to salvage the situation and the last remaining men are smuggled onto Irish ships at night.

They are shipped to Ireland and arrive safely. of the 10,000 men sent out to help Northumberland following the New Irish Alliance Doctrine, only 1780 men return. 8,220 Irishmen died in the Cumbrian fields, fighting the English. Great sorrow and mourning overcomes the nation.

And then, this:

Those thieving, good-for-nothing, conniving, backstabbing bastards! Northumberland is the reason we overthrew the Old Irish Alliance Doctrine and established the New Irish Alliance Doctrine (which has failed spectacularly)!

What will happen now? Can Ireland fight the military genius of Charles I? How will the nation react, knowing that it is now fighting the very nation is was sent out to protect? How can the Northumbrians sleep at night? Don't they have any conscience? The next update will show!

[safferli]

We have now passed 10,000 views! Thank you everyone for your support and for reading this! I hope it's entertaining, and that a few minutes of your day are made more enjoyable by it. I enjoy writing this, especially for such a great audience. Lots of things I've learnt from you guys/gals, so a big thank you from me for everything!

[Arakhor]

Those dirty Northumbrians! (Must be due to being based in Yorkshire, rather than Northumberland!)

[CivandEUIII]

Oh dear. Ireland's end?
please not please not please not...

[Avindian]

A clever bit of treachery by the AI; I didn't know it had it in them! Granted, it was a vassal, but still, it's not a move you normally see. I wonder why the Royal Navy was nowhere to be seen in your 15th century Dunkirk?

[Ashantai]

Excellent update! Charles I is a monster for the 15th century. Too often my MIL 8 leaders have 5 fire and 1 shock rating in 1410, which is utterly useless!