It turns out I was just being impatient with my siege progress. It started moving eventually. Still not sure how to make the best leader in the stack actually be the leader. Or what rules determine who it'll be, so I can manipulate it. However I at least found out how to get my Clan leader out into the field: he goes with his retinue; the faces on the levy armies are the owners.
One more thing. The marriage interface seems to present a different selection of potential wives, dependent on Ifni-knows-what criteria. Very annoying to present a gift, and then go back to ask for marriage, but not be able to find the object of my wooing. What's going on here?






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