The Decline of Western Civilization Part IV

MasterOfGrey: I went the same route as you in my test-the-time-to-see-if-its-worth-playing game. I was heavy in the South Asian business but also kept to myself a lot as I was testing the game’s speed. Ended up coming in #22 spot, I did. I’m not even sure how I managed that but I’m hoping to do better.

Yucutan probably would’ve been a better choice but I didn’t want to border the UK and I had forgotten about Gibraltar. Also I thought it’d be fun to be border buddies with the USA at some point in the future.

aldriq: A billboard like that and I’d be considered a self-promoting, egotistical forumite. I don’t think I could be so self-indulgent. In looking for that thing I noticed direct links to posts in that thread don’t work.

1.3 is better and Paradox is satisfying all my demands with what they plan to put in 1.4. For once I might actually feel like an expansion is an expansion. So I’m glad they’re correcting all the glaring problems before moving on from the base game.

As for Nueva Leon, I just forgot I bordered the UK in Europe. Just slipped my mind. I even have a unit around there too. But I also wanted to make the game interesting as time went on and I think an eventual probable border with the USA will bring that tension these B3 AARs often have.

JDMS: Its such an ugly, harsh word. Nueva Leon sounds a lot better. The farmlands in Nueva did concern me a little but I’m not really afraid of Mexico’s army.

***

I just discovered there are a pair of aspiring models at a church I live near. Unbeknownst to the church, I just converted. I’ll give it three Sundays to see if God pulls through for me. And if not, there’s a new crop of girls ready for harvest every year. Each one thinks they’re so special, so unique. They’re not snowflakes for crying out loud! They’re inadequate humans. Most people are. Intelligence wise, the average person has more in common with a monkey than they do me. In short, I’m a snowflake and you’re not.



If you haven’t caught on by now, I don’t play well with others.

Not that snowflakes have much to do with the game. We’re starting in the summer when I banned UK from Portugal and France from Brazil. Why anyone would want to take Portugal from my sphere is beyond me. They’re useless (Ubik isn't around, is he?)

The rest of 1851 was pretty quiet with me bringing Ecuador into my SoI.



1852 was another slow year with nary a picture taken. Debt had been cut to 50,804 by January 1, I had a total of 87 regiments and 122 ships - wooden ships are being disbanded every so often when a new ‘modern’ ship comes off the line.

By the end of the year I paid off the debt, expanded two luxury clothes factories, decreased the opinion of the USA in Colombia while raising relations with the USA every so often. I want to war with the US eventually but not to soon and I’m not sure how many USA/Spain scripted events are in this game. I don’t even know if the Spanish-American War is scripted in but with the event I received, I don’t see how it can’t be.

Through the first half of 1853, the beginnings of another slow year, I dropped France to Cordial in Brazil, changed NF’s to clerks, and all wooden ships had been removed - except for those in Asia. Hey, people aren’t gonna Shanghai themselves.

Then 30 August the Netherlands declared war on Portugal again. They’re really starting to **** me off. I had Peru and Brazil come to help me along.



The Netherlands doesn’t have a great military with only 30 regiments after mobilizing and 33 ships. Even by myself I outnumber them… I also had to ban the UK from Portugal. You’d think I’d get a little reprieve here. Anyway, by October I’d begun my casual blockades and sieges of Netherland holdings in the Caribbean.

It wasn’t until near the end of October when I realized the Netherlands had MA through France. They’re the kind of country who’ll giggle and chuckle whenever you’re in trouble but when they need aid its bloody murder. Guess I’ll have to get used to my opponents getting a free boat ride every time there’s a war.



4 November I had my first battle and a few weeks later the results of it. Its easy to reinforce your buddies… bastards.



About ten days after the battle I decided to add the war goal: Free Java. I want to cut down the Netherlands so they won’t think about declaring war on Portugal every five years even if it means more BB burnt on that pesky little country. Plus, in the future, you never know who they’re gonna be allied with and I hate not coming to my ally’s aid in this game.

Through December I won again in Bilbao, began besieging a few Asian islands and landed in Amsterdam.



Carlista won the election again in early 1854 and the Dutch had lost seven regiments. But eleven days into the new year Portugal destroyed that Netherland army in Spain so they dropped to having only 12 regiments. How could they not think I wouldn’t come to Portugal’s aid? Its in my nature. Haven’t they read any of my other AARs?

Through February Aruba and St. Martin fell. The Waboritas rejoiced.



I don’t know what it is about Hagar and this AAR… maybe its all the Caribbean/Mexico stuff. We still have a few hours till 8:05 but I’ll have to wrap this up soon… getting ready and all that.

3 March I dropped Nat Stock to 65% and later in the month France dissolved our alliance. I hope they’re not upset over anything. I don’t like her when she’s angry.



A few months later I occupied Benjarmasin and noticed Brazil was getting in on the action.



A series of occupations followed and blockades settled in for the long haul until 27 July the Netherlands accepted peace. Nat stock was dropped to 5%, all taxes to 49% and debt stood at a solid 133,063. Java became my ally a few days later.

I’ve tried getting into Lead & Gold, I really have but some things have changed since my last visit to online shooters: Tribes. Maybe the map is too small for me, I have 1 ½ years of catching up to learn those maps and characters or maybe things really have changed that much in ten years. I will say this: The one thing that kept me away from playing online - mostly shooters - like bad attitudes, harassing players, etc. I experienced none of that on any server. Truthfully it wasn’t a terrible experience outside of trying to learn the maps and objectives so I had some clue on what to do.

But that’s not what strove me to write that intro. Recently I picked up the Paradox deal on Steam and I’m rethinking a few future AARs and what games I’ll use for them. Future updates about this will be put in my blog. Therefore, when you see my blog count go up to 12, you’ll know I’ve finally updated the thing.

And yes, it isn’t funny and there aren’t any references but I’m using that as my intro for the next Chapter. So eat it.



The rest of ‘54 and ‘55 were lacking a lot of action. I began investing my Ecuador influence into Atjeh - to prevent another Dutch problem - dropped France to Cordial in Brazil and the US declared war on Mexico again.

May 1856 I stopped routinely raising my relations with the USA since I wasn’t sure how many other relation dropping events there were. If I’m going to be forced to fight them, then there really isn’t much point to weasel my way around it. For some reason I feel like Sonny Liston in Liston v. Ali. It doesn’t matter what you do, you’re gonna be pressured to take a dive.



After a quick peace with Mexico the USA hopped across the Atlantic to intervene in Egypt/Two Sicilies. At least that’ll keep them busy. I ended the year by paying off the debt without raising taxes.



1857 followed in a series of short years as I knocked the USA down to Neutral in Brazil, added Atjeh to my sphere - investing that influence into Dai Nam - and the US annexed Hawaii.



Oh, and I got a colony thing.

Around July in 1858 the US/Two Sicilies signed a white peace and I expanded four factories. Without war there isn’t a whole lot to do except sitting around on your assterisk listening to Shia LaBeouf’s lies.



Then on the first day of 1859 I declared war on Mexico after getting this event.



I could’ve polled the people on this forum but we’ve seen the results when that happens.

InnocentIII: I bet you say that to all the boys.

aldriq: :rofl: but I prefer my country a little more like this. My absolute favorite country band.

The Netherlands didn’t bother me too much though. In one shot you can see they were streaming down and the next Portugal was taking them out. That one battle I highlighted really took them out of the game. And it freed me up to root around their capital without much fighting.

***

There always has to be a certain underlying mood one must have when writing these kinds of AARs. And the busier the person is, the tougher it is to get out. Usually some heavy music, a jolt of caffeine from a pill or a couple of shots of 100 proof will do the trick. I’m surprised they come out as they do sometimes. And here’s a little inside fact: Half of the Bukkhara updates were written with drink in hand.



Go away. It isn’t your time yet. You get at least one appearance per B3 AAR and now isn’t it… Just wait for me in the truck.

Dude’s gonna get me in trouble with the law for an open flask one of these days… But we have an AAR to write. At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

National Stock was raised to 100% on 1 January and all allies and SoI’s aided in the war except for Portugal. Mexico doesn’t have much though, just 19 regiments and 10 ships.



By the 17th I was working my Spanish magic on Laredo, Nomclova, Saltillo, San Luis Patos, Veracruz and Tulcingo. Also the whole of the Gulf of Mexico was blockaded. Through the first three months three battles came with three victories. National Stock was dropped to 55% to save cash.



By early April Saltillo, Tulancingo and San Luis Potasi all fell to my greedy little deviant desires. I besieged their capital and eliminated an army lurking around the scene. No one escapes my clutches.



With my Filipino force I had trekking across the Pacific for God knows how many months, they landed in San Diego. Before laying siege, they wanted to see the zoo. I gave in and let them. But seven days into May I added a war goal to Free California. They’d look nice in my SoI. I’d be even more popular out there than Screamin David Lee in ‘86.

As time went on more battles resulted in victories. Was there any doubt?



Mid July I decided to mobilize because I realized I was going to have to occupy most, if not all of Mexico to get the peace I wanted. Meanwhile occupations continued without incident. Late September I checked in on how Mexico was doing and they were down to 0 regiments. Nat Stock was dropped to 25% immediately.

Come January 1860 there really isn’t much to report outside of the war overview.



Occupations continued… I’m not going to list them because that’s all that happened until Russia declared war on the OE in order to sphere them. Unfortunately for Russia, the OE had allies in UK, Germany and satellites. For a little safety I gave MA to the UK.

And 1861 already? My how time flies when you’re doing the same thing over and over.



Yeah, that’s all you’re getting. Just imagine a lot more yellow stripes over a green background south of that shot.

Soon after the first of the year Russia and Sweden both white peaced with Mexico… losers. I invested 3 influence in Korea, Russia and France allied and I added Zacatecas to my war goal seeing as Mexico was almost completely occupied. They’d have to agree, right?



Wrong! They’re completely occupied and have zero military. They shouldn’t be able to reject this. C’mon! That’s not fair!



Well, that explains it. Justice is not only blind, she’s in love. She’ll pay for it later, trust me.

Because France kept lowering relations and canceled MA after my recent war goal - because technically I was over the BB limit but my intention was to release the Philippines, which I wasn’t allowed to do - I settled for peace a month later.




The same day I released the Philippines, as I had planned to do from day 1 for BB burn, to stay under the BB limit. I still have three islands out there in the Pacific but they’re like the opinions of many forum members: Mostly useless.

Debt rests at 108,525 on 1 November 1861. Nat Stock was reduced to 5%, all taxes to 49%, military maintenance back up to 100% And five factories came along during the transfer of power.

And before I forget, I added to my blog the ideas I have roaming around in my head for possible future AARs and those I plan on updating/restarting. Comment here, there or not at all, its all the same to me.

MasterOfGrey: I know, you shouldn’t be allowed to add war goals if the other country absolutely won’t accept them. I think your personal advisors would know what your opponents definitely wouldn’t accept.

aldriq: I’d be wary of calling Hayseed Dixie anything but hillbillies. As for Confederate Railroad you could always try Trashy Women or White Trash with Money if you’re looking for humor. They have some good ballads too like Between the Rainbows and the Rain.

Gamersgate…. It might’ve been something simple but I received no support. Still never received a response as far as I know. A lot of people knock Steam but I’ve never had a problem with them in the almost two years I’ve been using it. I doubt I’ll use anything else until that happens.

On the blog: I wasn’t sure if I was coming back when I was planning to leave but I wasn’t as busy as I expected. Sleeping still isn‘t a steady thing either so coming back, even in this on and off phase, is almost expected. But yeah, I did a lot of stuff behind the scenes. For about five or six months straight I sent between two to four full PM’s a month and the only thing that came out of it was that writers building thing. Even if I had those old PM’s I doubt I’d forward them to the new crew. Its something I wouldn’t want to go back to.

Now I have been contemplating offering to do the CK2 library but only because I could implement the things I couldn’t in HOI2. HOI2 was just so screwed up and has roughly three times the AARs of some of the other forums that I really had to cut down on a lot of things just to update that mess.

New Projects… I’m going to wait until 1.4 & a VIP + hot fix is released before I attempt another Maintain the Monarchy. I’d want it to be tough and I’m not sure Russia is a hard nation to play if it stays a monarchy. Maybe I’ll test it with 1.4 to see if I should wait for an expansion. I’m not expecting much because right now I’m in the early 1860’s with Bukkhara and was able to fight off both Russia and the UK still as an unciv.

I enjoyed cutting Mexico in two Now my ships from the Philippines have a place to port and like you said, I can blockade on the Pacific side now if needed.

***

So I was playing Dragon Age 2 the other day



Now, relax. You’re not even from the same universe so you shouldn’t be too upset. But yeah. Totally dumbed down, tactics are gone - trudged through the entire game without switching off from my main character - and my import, well, it didn’t seem to really matter. And definitely not in the ways I wanted it to. I really wanted to play my kick*** noble dwarf. Why would I want to play as a human? I see humans all the time. I’d rather play as a sailing stone.



Go back and cook your chicken.

“Fish.”

Whatever. At least Paradox is always there for me to come back to after a major disappointment. I’m still waiting for my group hug, guys. Yeah, even from those of you who chose to not show your pictures… like people are going to do weird things with them or something.



Punishment for the picture, Paradox had the US DoW Mexico for Texas, the Netherlands DoW’d Portugal again, this time bringing along friends like France and the UK but I got em back by dropping France to Opposed in Brazil. And no, I’m not helping Portugal. I heard something about warts earlier in this AAR and I am not touching them.



As the new year rolled into gear Germany and Russia signed a white peace, I moved Korea up to Cordial and for good measure began raising relations with France again. What? You think I’ve lost that magic touch?

BAM!



I make miracles happen.

As I contemplated war in spite of the prestige hit, Mexico and the USA signed peace with the US taking Texas… at the same time, the CSA formed. Things were beginning to get tricky.



Come the turning of 1863 I decided it was a go for war with Mexico again but held off for the moment. While Portugal made peace with their various enemies, by April I dropped military spending to 0% and nat stock rose to 25%. June mid and poor taxes touched 80% while the rich were at 95%. Nat stock was pushed to 50%.

Three days before my CB was to expire I declared war on Mexico for Jalisco. It had five factories.



Land, soldiers and those factories are totally worth the prestige hit.

MasterOfGrey: I was torn as to what to do. Whether I ought to ignore Mexico and get in on the ACW for one side or the other - eventually - or take what I could get. But I really couldn’t give up the CB even if it did give me some prestige loss.

aldriq: He already did.



***

I haven’t been feeling too hot these last few days but I think I can push another update out tonight. Who knew living on nothing but Hot Pockets, Pop Tarts and Jack Daniels Old No. 07 was a bad combination?

So, where were we? Right, just about ready to invade Mexico again. She is the eternal Toejam to my Earl. The early one. Not the sucky ones.

Anyway, the initial sieges all began predictably enough. There weren’t many provinces to choose from. It was Slim pickings.



Seriously? How do you expect me to write an AAR if you’re going to make goofy references? If you keep doing this, its going to take forever.

Despite Mexico’s 22 regiments at start, there was little they could do. Whenever they saw an opportunity, I always had extra men around to flood the fight club. Though my version was a little bloodier… and had less soap.



I followed that win by another in Guadalajara, eventually eliminating the enemy there. It wouldn’t take long - 22 December - before the entire Mexican army was destroyed and I dropped my national stockpile down to 30%. When the enemy is ultimately defeated, 25 - 30% is usually where I’m at depending on how much of the war needs to be ‘fought’ or how much replenishment is needed.



The war really became tedious after this. It’s a shame I don’t have a way to speed it up for you.



Sweet, Ving!

















Wow! Thanks a lot. I couldn’t have done it without you.



Okay, okay. That’s all. You can go back to your… whatever it is you do in between your decent movie you make every ten years.

After 8 May 1864 all my regular units returned to my owned provinces while militia besieged Mexico. A little later I SoI’d Korea and on 1 June made peace with Mexico. I brought six factories under my control.

MasterOfGrey: If only someone would let them.

aldriq: I didn’t mind it either. Actually, I saw the movie was on tonight so I started recording it. Being a Willem Dafoe fan helps too even if some of his roles are… concerning.

***

I was thinking the other night about divorced parents and all that and I came up with a personal desire. Just once I’d like to see a divorced parent be honest with their kid. “Of course its all your fault you little ****. There’s a reason we got married and there’s a reason we got divorced. Now here, have some Zoloft.”

And before we get started I’ll have a 1870 mid-game update when the time comes. I’ll release the bands/songs in that update too.

So the war with Mexico left me 200,621 in debt. Taxes dropped to 49%, nat stock 15% while I dropped the US from Colombia and the UK from Brazil. People just don’t want to leave me alone. Apparently they don’t want to leave the SexyMexy’s alone either.



Toward the end of July I dropped national stockpile to 2% except for a planned every six months. At the end of December and July I’d raise it up to 100% for a few days to get full reinforcement every now and then with minimal cost. As 1864 let out I got myself banned from the USCA - try to make out with one three hundred pound bouncer and suddenly you’re not allowed to come back - and I began investing influence in the Netherlands.

1865 was a slow year. France annexed Madagascar, I gave the CSA subsidies for a series of months and I even became cordial with the Netherlands.

Then on 30 January 1866 I got this.



I told myself that if the CSA were around on 1 January 1867 then I’d declare war. I was still 102k in debt and my troops needed replenishment.



At the end of May the USA mobilized… … …. probably sensing a disturbance in the force… Okay, you saw the ellipses. I tried resisting but



Again? Oh, come on.

After mobilization they had 44 regiments and 53 ships. I wasn’t sure if the CSA would make it until the end of the year. So on 1 July I raised all taxes to 95%, national stockpile to 75% - for now - military spending 0% and declared war on the USA for Texas.



No, we’re not doing this.



Basically its Spain and her spheres v. the USA and her spheres... I mobilized, too. And neither Russia nor Sweden helped. Figures… they’re probably the same ****s that always complain about your friendly fire. Well, stay out of my line of fire, Audie Murphy!

MasterOfGrey: I consider July and December recruiting drive months. Besides, the AI can keep their militaries fully supplied while 360 of 365 days of the year I’m hovering anywhere between 1 - 5%. I only move sliders around in preparation and cooling down from wars. And I still haven’t bothered reading the Vik II manual so I’m not sure at what point militancy starts breaking for pops when taxed, exactly when I might go bankrupt, etc.

Once I really get the hang of Victoria II I’ll progressively lay down more and tougher rules for myself.

Spitfire5793: Looking back it makes me wish I didn’t waste that 4 bb on bringing Portugal into my SoI but Brandenburg’s boredom can only last so long before he does something. There are too many AI/AARs where Spain goes after Africa and nothing else.

JDMS: Thanks. I think I might need more than luck. Before this game I hadn’t played Victoria II in about three and a half months.

aldriq: If I didn’t get the border incident I could’ve always went for the humiliate, which is 1.6, I think. Really I don’t expect to get Texas. If I can fight the US long enough until they white peace with the CSA, I’ll consider that a victory.

I’ll check out Spotify sometime this week… something’s telling me you must be the President of the company or something.

***

Now that I’m getting a little more time I decided it was time to rent a few games for a little while. I just received Mortal Kombat yesterday and I’m burning through it. Mind you, I am not a fighter gamer. The last fighter genre game I played, outside of boxing, was the original Mortal Kombat. So it just got me thinking back in those days when video games had one difficulty. No, that difficulty was not called ‘Hard’ It was called: ‘I Own Your ***.’ Back then there was no dropping down to ‘Normal’ or ‘Casual’ it was always ‘I Own Your ***.’ And it was a great accomplishment when you beat it. Maybe that’s why I haven’t gamed much outside of the occasional blockbuster or Paradox titles. To be fair I did try out Super Meat Boy but I thought that was something COMPLETELY different.

At least the US will give me a challenge. Yeah, I do outweigh them in the military might column but I haven’t fought a Big 8 power in Victoria II before this game in I don’t know how many months. We’ll see how it goes.

There’s a lot of room in Texas so in July and August I laid sieges in San Antonio, Laredo and El Paso. And



In early September I dropped off some troops in Portland, blockading Oregon in the process. Houston was besieged in the same month. And my first units hit the Northeast with landings in New Bedford and Providence in October. Mass Bay was blockaded and I give you the war on 2 October.



And a thought just came to me… What do you call a monk who won’t leave you alone?

A Budapest. Yup, this is how my mind works. And anyway, I’m a Zen Buddhist so its okay.

Sixteen days after the above shot I landed in Washington… six days after that I lost in Houston. Everybody died. Despite having a ship - the ships that just unloaded them the month before - just off the coast in case they needed to flee. Needless to say I had a George Brett Pine Tar Incident moment right there.



For those that supposedly remained alive and just disappeared? I don’t know, maybe they all changed their names to Raoul Wallenburg and relied on the Swedish government to get them home. Either way, they're still "missing."

Anyway, on 8 November I returned to Houston for the win.



Through November a few sieges turned into occupations and I moved forward, even deciding to liberate Hot Springs for the CSA. While busy in America, Germany and Austria went to war over something. I don’t remember exactly what it was over but I’m sure it was meaningless and pointless.

14 December I won in Washington. I honestly expected to lose that battle but I had a few dice rolls go my way which was surprising. I guess this is what a professional military can do for you.



Finishing up the year I won a small battle in Oklahoma City and occupied San Antonio… reminds me of something Ted Nugent said on his Live album which I can’t repeat here.

3 January 1867 I occupied New Bedford, sieged Las Cruces and took a snapshot of the war.



Meanwhile I was still shipping troops from the East to the West. I only have so many transports.

I moved on in New England to Boston and Hartford and reoccupied Hot Springs. Why? Well, southern twins, of course.



Okay, so maybe she isn’t really a twin but we can dream, can’t we?

Days later, while dreaming of Miranda, I lost in Washington. Stupid militia. I guess that’s why they’re called reserves.



Early February I blockaded Belize Bay, forgetting I was also at war with the USCA. So that’s what my allies were doing.



Back in America, the US sieged Providence and I occupied Portland… all the way out there in no man’s land. Its easy war score… but cheap war score. Kinda like FWB’s.

Then in late March I won in Providence but lost again in Washington.



It’s a hard way to be reminded… but they’re only militia so again, they don’t count…. except in warscore apparently.

Through April I blockaded the entire US east coast, occupied Jefferson City and Austin and began fleeing parts of New England. That is until 19 June when my militia units were destroyed.



Oh well. At least the militia was good for something and the US will be busy lifting my occupations for a while.

1 July and I have war pics.



I think we’ll stop it here for the night. Stats? Sure.

US Spain
28 75 regiments
26 118 ships

I thought about writing a rock song called “Windows 7 Is ****” just so I could use it as one of my chapter titles. And if I do it’ll be available on all the i’s: iphone, itunes, ireallyhatewindows7becauseits****. Honestly I haven’t had problems with it until trying to do stuff with mods, downloading patches for Darkest Hour, etc. Its just one awful event after another… there are other things but I’ve never had problems downloading Paradox stuff before. And that’s the biggest thing for me. I probably shouldn’t complain because it was given to me but it doesn’t change the fact that



However, there is good news. I finally hooked up my big monitor to my laptop. So, there’s that.

There were also occupations in Lubbock and St. Louis in July.

“That was a rockin’ segue.”

Thanks, I worked really hard on it.

I checked back on USCA in mid-August and they had been pounded enough to accept peace. I could’ve white peaced with them earlier but I wanted to give Colombia a little somethin somethin.



By the end of the month Seattle fell under my control - grunge will never happen… send your fanmail to my PM box - and I white peaced with Haiti with the aid of a little blockade…

September I took out Joplin



and got MA through the CSA. And early November I won in Washington with an intent to follow and destroy.



Six days later the USA and CSA signed a white peace. Sweeter than cherry pie. At this point I could’ve ended the war but my warscore was just too high. I invested too much.

By the start of 1868 I had reduced the US to 2 regiments and 16 ships, eliminating their capacity to be any threat. Washington fell, again, thirteen days later. I took pictures on that day. The president was having a rough time.



More stuff happened… stuff that is boring for me to even type out. And since this is all about me, I’m just not gonna do it. Occupations continued and on 4 June I added the war goal: Return Missouri to CSA. Because Missouri is that economic power piece the CSA needs.



A few weeks later the CSA repaid me with an alliance. Its better than being paid with gum.



By July the USA had lost every regiment and only ten ships remained. Without an enemy to fight I dropped Nat Stock down to 35%. A few more months passed until the USA agreed to peace on 26 September. I took in six factories with one in construction and the CSA got Missouri. Both NF’s were changed to soldiers, all soldiers were to stay in the New World, nat stock reduced to 25% and all taxes to 80% to pay back the 246,768 debt. After the war and demobilization I was down to 63 regiments/103 ships, most of which had become out of date against US ironclads.



Now to leave you with a little poem:

Mary had a little lamb…
That’s what she gets for sleeping in a barn.