"AARound the gulf in 80 years", staring Elbiz Jauf, as written by Yulûs Ver'nê

**Warhead990** · 27-10-2002 01:55

ill post my objectives and the topic name now before i start to avoid someone taking my topic name(again).

Objective

Conquer the middle east, including Egypt and North Africa(and, of course, AARmenia).

Difficulty

The difficulty will be set at Very hard.

The Game

This game was played as standard 1.05 patch Europa Universalis, Age of Mercantilism as Persia.

Part 1 coming soon

**Charles II** · 27-10-2002 04:03

May Allah be with you!

**totalbasscase** · 27-10-2002 06:09

Cant wait to see human intelligence dominate the typically retardified AI of that region. Rock on =) will be reading

**Eochaid** · 27-10-2002 18:24

Persia? Watch the Ottomans, and get rid of those nasty Sunnis! Allah Akhbar!

**Warhead990** · 27-10-2002 18:53

Part 1: The Rebbelion

"Sire! Sire!" A man rushed into the Sha's court.
As he paused to wait for the Shas approval, the Sha instead left the room. As a desparate ploy for attention, he screamed "Whats the difference between a Shi'ite Moslem and a Sunni Moslem? A u and a couple n's, get it?"

-Cut to: Execution-

"Any last words?" the executioner asked.
"Er...yes! What i was trying to say was..." Then the Axe came down. The watching Sha quickly applauded and turned to Lt. General Elbiz Jauf. He wispered "did you move the 1st army out of Ishfan like i asked?"
"Yes. Its been done."
"And you split the army, right?"
"Of course. You do not trust i follow your orders?"
"I know you follow orders. But say that again and you end up like punny over there."

-Later, in the Royal Palace-

A Diplomat walks into the kings court
"Sire, I bring terrible news to you. Theres been a rebellion in Ishfan! Theyve taken the Holy Persian Carpet Factory!"
"What?!? That factory generates half of our income!"
The diplomat chimes in: "And it is built over a holy area"
"Im sure. In any case, im sure Jaufs men have taken care of it?"
"no, sir. his men are north of here, per his orders."
The shah gets a cold angry look on his face." I TOLD him specificly NOT to move those men. What do we have for defence?"
The diplomat obviously bears a dire look. "Not much, only the garrison." For his next suggestion he mumbles a little. "Say, why dont you see that guy in central Ishfan who claims he can summon a troll sire?
"I'm out of control? what are you saying? I'll Kill you afterwards. For now we must flee!"

note: Jaufs men easily destroyed the 11,000 strong rebel force afterwards. Wasnt able to play much yesterday.

Part two(much more interesting) coming soon

**totalbasscase** · 27-10-2002 19:26

Originally posted by Warhead990
Part 1: The Rebbelion

"Sire, I bring terrible news to you. Theres been a rebellion in Ishfan! Theyve taken the Holy Persian Carpet Factory!"
"What?!? That factory generates half of our income!"
The diplomat chimes in: "And it is built over a holy area"
"Im sure. In any case, im sure Jaufs men have taken care of it?"

For his next suggestion he mumbles a little. "Say, why dont you see that guy in central Ishfan who claims he can summon a troll sire?
"I'm out of control? what are you saying? I'll Kill you afterwards. For now we must flee!"

HAH! I love it. At this rate the Shah will wind up killing everyone in his court before he tackles the hated Sunnis! Insane monarchs are ever so much fun.

Keep up the good work.

**Warhead990** · 27-10-2002 19:51

Oh, and before i forget:

thanks to Shiiuga for the great title

**Warhead990** · 27-10-2002 20:25

The Rebbelion continued

As the shah was ready to flee, and man and 3 guards burst through the door. The man was dressed odly, wearing a gold chain around his neck. His voice boomed through the shah's palace. "YO ARMY WAS TRIPPIN! WE TOOK YO GARRSION UP IN HERRE!"

Everyone in the palace was stunned. The shah asked quitly "Who are you?" He responded " Yo havin hearin troubles in yo old age, old man?" His three guards laughed at that one. So the shah awaited what he would say next.

"Our crew, we rocked the mic right bitch!"
Finnaly the shah responded. "you sure? I think i saw your army in toilet once."
"What yall sayin? I think we got the city, you betta get down and beg fo' fogivness!"
The shah then looked over the men and could see, in the distance, Jaufs forces marching tword the city. He knew all he had to do was stall for a few more minutes or so.
"um...so, whats in the news today?"
It continued like that until Jaufs men arrived and marched into the city. Eventually the men and thier army were killed.

"Good job, Jauf." the shah said to the Lt. General.
"your promoted to Lt. General! congratualations!"
Jauf was a bit puzzeld by this comment. "But sir, i already am a-"
"no buts. say that again and ill have you bumped back to LT. General so fast it'll make your head spin."
"okay sir. whatever you say."

Once again, a longer and more interesting Part 2 coming soon.

**Charles II** · 27-10-2002 22:04

trippin? lol

**Shiiuga** · 28-10-2002 00:01

Originally posted by Charles II
trippin? lol

They were very hip back then

. I believe Snûp D'ôggi D'ôg was quite popular back in the ghettos of Baghdad

.

Anytime with the title Warhead

**Lord Durham** · 28-10-2002 00:57

Yulûs Ver'nê is it? I guess that explains the title. Good one. Now, can you explain the spelling of 'Rebbelion for me?

It's nice to see that the Shah gets down and reasons with the bros...

**Warhead990** · 28-10-2002 01:06

Originally posted by Lord Durham
Yulûs Ver'nê is it? I guess that explains the title. Good one. Now, can you explain the spelling of 'Rebbelion for me?

It's nice to see that the Shah gets down and reasons with the bros...

i wouldnt call myself a spelling mastermind on sundays

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