The Great Kiwi Road Trip!

[dhomas]

Freyberg: Carr, I think that's enough playing around with Italy! Our friends the British will have no problem cleaning up the rest.



Carr: But I want to eat pizza

Freyberg: You can eat tacos, now get your sorry bum to Mexico!

Carr: Ok, I like tacos

Freyberg:

And so the NZ airforce sweeps down on Mexico.



Now that the two divisions in Merida have been minced, Freyberg attempts a breakout into Villahermosa.



With the enemy in retreat, 6 more divisons are ferried in from the north. But what is this?





Freyberg: *sigh*... Carr, would you please?

Carr: I know what you thinkin', these ships are gonna be sinkin'!!

Freyberg: Yes, well, just stop rhyming and get rid of them, will you?



Under the cover of the mighty NZ airforce, the transporters manage to land their troops - Carr holds true to his word.

Carr: WORD!!



And again, Freyberg's brilliant strategy unfolds.



Puebla is occupied, and NZ forces launch a combined attack on Mexico City.



Freyberg: It's that time of the year again

[dhomas]

Savage: Damn, now we ran out of targets...

Carr: So where's the big upset you promised last time?

Savage: Right, I totally forgot about that! *click*



Freyberg: But but but but but but...!!!!! this is....!!!



Savage: Stop laughing you idiots!! If someone is laughing here, then it's me! HAHA! MUHAHAHA! I offer a non-aggression pact and they spit in my face! But not anymore! Watch out Uncle Sam, New Zealand is coming for you! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!



Stay tuned for Chapter 6: In New Zealand America!

[4th Dimension]

What year is it? because if it's anything close to the year 1941 you're gonna get raped. Also, at best you have 10 months to smash their army and take their easstern industry before they mobilise.

[Sethanon]

Lol whut! How in the name of NZ can they hope to conquer and succesfully occupy a country the size of the USA. With... 12 divisions and a small airforce? Lmao!
I bet they'll pull it off though!

[Capt. Kiwi]

Laugh all you want. We'll see who is laughing next update.

[dhomas]

What year is it? because if it's anything close to the year 1941 you're gonna get raped. Also, at best you have 10 months to smash their army and take their easstern industry before they mobilise.

[Timmie0307]

Interesting....A Kiwi in Washington...

[H.Appleby]

This should be... interesting.

[dhomas]

Chapter 6: In New Zealand America

04. May 1941
"FREYYYYYYYYYYBERRRRRRRRRG!!!!!!"

Freyberg: Present...

Savage: It's glorious, Freyberg! Finally we get to show the Yankees who's boss! Payback time!

Freyberg: But sir, how can we win this war? They're much bigger than us!

Savage: Nonsense. We already control much more area then they do. And at the moment, they don't even have many troops in the country.

Freyberg: Well, but they have over 450 IC!

Savage: So what, how much do we have?

Freyberg: 47...



Savage: Holy crap, that means they can replace their losses indefinitely, and we'll die of attrition!

Freyberg: ...that's what I was trying to tell you...

Savage: *chuckle*

Freyberg: What-

The Prime Minister was grinning. He had an odd gleam in the corner of his eye.

Savage: Hehehe. HAHAHAHA!

Freyberg:

Savage: This makes it all the more interesting. A truly impossible task, if I dare say so! Freyberg, get it done!

Freyberg: But...

Savage: OBEY!

Freyberg: Honestly Sir, I think-

Savage: OBEY!!!!!!!!!

Freyberg:

[dhomas]

With no way out, Freyberg sets to work. It is truly an impossible task, but things get even worse...



Freyberg: So US is now friends with Nazis? Oh crap, now Germans and Italians will send airplanes to USA

At least the troops are looking OK.



Freyberg: Wow, Ozzies have sent expeditionary troops! Your help is very welcome! We should rename Australia into West Island of New Zealand in your honour, haha!

Additionally, 2xINF are held in reserve while another 3xINF are preparing to take over the Panama canal.



Freyberg: Thanks to our Australian friends, we now have 25 divisions at the front! Not bad! And USA defends with only 16.


20 Minutes later...


Freyberg: So here's the plan.



Savage: What the hell? You call this a plan!? The central army group will march forever in the middle of nowhere and accomplish nothing! And why in god's name is it called "Army group Oz"???

Freyberg: It's the Australian expedition, sir.

Savage: Oh, then it's ok. Send them into the desert at once!!

Freyberg: Yes sir!

Savage: Frickin' Ozzies...

[Capt. Kiwi]

Of course, you know what that means.

Indiana Jones is now a Nazi.

[4th Dimension]

Of course, you know what that means.

Indiana Jones is now a Nazi.

And then the world imploded

[dhomas]

Freyberg: ATTAAAAAACK!!!!!11111

One month later... New Zealand has successfully started the assault and managed to break through the defenders in the east and in the west.



---------------------------

After a series of bitter fights, Army Group West had been cut off. However, in a bold dash they were able to secure the airfield at San Diego. Then it was all over for the retreating defenders: NZ air force killed them in cold blood.



Freyberg: 60000 men murdered from above... I'm not sure that's actually legal!

Carr: Who CARRs

Freyberg:

---------------------

US tanks have outmanoeuvred Army Group West and managed to push into Mexico! Their victory however would be short lived - Carr is already on the job.

Carr: Time to end the joyride!



------------------

Meanwhile, Army Group East has broken into Texas and secured the airbase in Corpus Christi.



Freyberg: Surely this will spell doom on their defenders... but they are starting to concentrate in the east. I hope we still have time before they get reinforcements.

Last but not least, army group Oz is busy conquering some desert that nobody cares about.

Freyberg: According to plan so far!

-----------------

Next update: Will AG West manage to conquer the IC-rich pacific coast? Will Freyberg be able to sustain his momentum in the east?

Freyberg: And, what the hell, Canadian tanks are conquering New York!?



Savage: According to plan indeed... wuhahahahaha

[zoli1984]

Kiwiiiiiii!!!!!

[Acguy]

Oh dear, Kiwis in Texas!

[dhomas]

Must work all day, no internet at home... updates will be slow these days. Yesterday my hard disk crashed, most data was corrupted BUT I managed to recover my HOI2 saves

So I will uphold the promise, updates will be slow but I won't stop until New Zealand controls THE WORLD!!! (muhaha etc.)

[Capt. Kiwi]

You had better luck than I did when my hard drive failed twice over the summer, and just as well Savage demands more conquests!

[dhomas]

Another month passes as Freyberg's forces advance east. After some heavy fighting, most American defenders are erased from the map.



Freyberg: This is good, but I fear it is too slow... we did crush them, but we are losing momentum!

The west however is a different story and valiant Kiwi forces have captured Los Angeles and San Francisco!



Freyberg: Very nice. Our goal is take away from them as much IC as we can, or else they will steamroll us with motorized troops in 3 months.

Savage: Ha! Lucky, because Canada did that for us already



Freyberg:

Savage: So heroic, these Canadians! Rushing blindly into enemy territory with only 4 divisions! They will get slaughtered soon! And while they're busy, we take away the rest of USA! Wuahaha! MUHAHAHAHA!

-----------------

Meanwhile in South America, NZ's secret police eradicates civilian resistance.



Savage: Who came up with that stupid name? There's only grammas living in Petone, now they're the secret police!?

Freyberg: They do have a pretty good rugby club...

Savage: Shut up.

[dhomas]

Some Italians are bombing lone Army Group Oz.



Savage: Bahaha! Frickin Ozzies

--------------------

After some weeks of heavy marching, it is done: the West Coast is in Kiwi hands!



Carr: WEST COAST FOR LIFE!!!!11

Freyberg: Shush Carr!

Savage: Most excellent! Since the Panama Canal is also ours, the US navy cannot reach the coast anymore. Which again means we can finally ship in reinforcements without getting butchered

Freyberg: Even better, if our Army Group Oz can advance north and connect with Canada, the whole Midwest will be cut off from supplies! Then they cannot deploy reinforcements there and we can concentrate our forces in the east!



Savage: Very good Freyberg... I must say you are a tactical genius! Second only to me, of course

Freyberg: ...

------------------------

Meanwhile, the eastern offensive continues unchallenged.



Freyberg: US are still busy with Canada.... but how long will it last?

Indeed Canada is getting horribly spanked as US troops reclaim the east with record speed.



Freyberg: As soon as the northeast is back under US control, they will turn around and hit us with everything they have... it will be a mexican standoff at East Coast!



Savage: HA but we will win any Mexican standoff because we already conquered Mexico

Freyberg:

----------------

The situation at the beginning of September 1941.



Will Freyberg survive the coming onslaught at the east coast?

Will he survive the imminent winter?

Will Canada hold out long enough?

And what about the unlikely heroes, Army Group Oz? Might a lone division of Australians deal such a devastating blow to USA?



Savage: (I hope not... they'll rub it in our faces for all eternity... frickin Ozzies!)

[Acguy]

So, how much IC has the US got left?