Chapter 2: First Blood
8. January 1937
Freyberg: You don't have to yell sir, I'm standing right here.
Savage: Oh! Erm... well very good. Freyberg, I finally did it! After months of supporting the communist underground, they've finally gone public!
Savage: Defend democracy? Haha that was a good one! Good riddance I say!
Savage: Don't worry Freyberg. We're communists only in name! As you can see we still are a market economy, and over the last year have amassed a huge pile of money! Any capitalist would be proud
Savage: Anyway, we are now a dictatorship! That means everybody has to do what I say! Isn't that great Freyberg?
Savage: I'm glad you think so too! We are now ready to strike at our first target! By the way, have you upgraded my troops as I told you to?
Freyberg: Erm, no they are still from 1918...
Savage: What the hell! I specifically told you at our last meeting! Weren't you listening!? Anyway, it matters not. I see that our cavalry at least has been upgraded, and a spearhead of 5 divisions should be quite enough for what I have in mind.
Have your men board the transports and set out as soon as you are ready! You will be taking command of the expedition since you are our most able commander.
Freyberg: Damn right I am! But may I ask where we're going?
Freyberg: Okay... why Venezuela?
Savage: Easy, because they are a laughably small nation and can't defend themselves!
Freyberg: Kinda like us
Savage: Shut up Anyway it will be easy to annex them, and with that we'll also capture their tremendous oil reserves. We will use it as trade banter, and purchase new equipment from our allies. Now go, before the French get there and take Venezuela for themselves!
And with this, the expedition set sail for America. After refuelling in Bermuda, Freyberg and his men surveyed the Venezuelan coast.
Freyberg: What the hell, we come to attack and there's noone to defend? This is going to be easy! ATTACK!
After landing in Maracaibo, the local milita is driven out of Caracas. With the enemy in retreat, transports move in to secure the city.
Freyberg: Not bad, conquered a whole country in just 6 days! Faster even than Nazis! It's like Blitzkrieg, just with horses
And not a day too early, since French ships are already cruising off the coast! But they come too late, Kiwis already own the land! Greedy Froggies!
The next day, Freyberg received a radio transmission from Wellington.
WELL DONE FREYBERG STOP YOU ARE GOOD FOR SOMETHING
AFTER ALL STOP REST YOUR MEN I AM SENDING REINFORCE
MENTS STOP WILL HAVE NEW ORDERS SOON STOP TODAY VEN
EZUELA TOMORROW THE WORLD MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA STOP AHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAH
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA STOP AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH
(the telegram ends here)